Now what?

Here he was, lying next to his amazingly perfect boyfriend who he apparently loves and all he could feel was awkwardness and embarrassment. He didn’t know what to expect when Blaine woke up.

Would it just be like normal? Would it be weird? Would it feel…different?

After Kurt’s plan of ‘being a top’ didn’t fully work out how he imagined it…he didn’t exactly be the ‘dom’ he was going to be in his head. He even had trouble putting the condom on for fucks sake! That doesn’t exactly scream dominant!

“Good morning beautiful” Blaine said in a sleepy voice, turning on his side to face Kurt.

“H-Hi” Kurt stuttered out as a reply. Blaine lifted an eyebrow.

“…what’s wrong?” Blaine knew! He knew! How did he know?!

“Nothing, why?”

“Kurt” Blaine stated, “I know you. Something’s on your mind, what is it?” Blaine pressed, Kurt sighed.

“…After last night, I mean, I don’t really know what to expect. We were dating and having fun and it was all….perfect” Kurt restrained the want to wince at the word ‘perfect’ after his confession to Rachel and Mercedes, “and now, I don’t know it all seems very…serious because I…well…you know…”

“You said ‘I love you’?” Blaine guessed, Kurt nodded and bit his lip tentatively. Blaine let out a soft chuckle and kissed Kurt on the nose.

“You’re adorably ridiculous, you know that? Nothing has changed between us, Kurt. I knew how you felt even if you didn’t say it. I felt how you felt. Now you’re just ready to say it out loud, that’s all” Blaine explained.

Kurt certainly felt something right now. A little bit angry and a little bit invaded. Blaine knew he loved him? He just…expected it?

“Wait so you’re saying that you knew before I did?” Kurt asked, Blaine shook his head.

“No, of course not! I knew it when you knew it just before you actually, you know…said it” Blaine turned over and rolled out of bed.

Kurt still felt angry and he didn’t quite know why. Blaine was being very intrusive. He felt like Blaine had gone and mind raped him…or heart raped him…wait, is that a thing?

“Pancakes?” Blaine asked, Kurt shook his head and stood up and got dressed quickly. Well, as quickly as he could, damn those skinny jeans!

“I’m going to head home” Kurt said bluntly.

“okay…what just happened? We had an amazing night, we exchanged ‘I love yous’ and now…you’re mad?”

“Well, Blaine, if it was up to you we wouldn’t have to exchange them because apparently you already knew before I did so, you know…” Kurt grabbed his bag.

“Wow, real mature, Kurt.” Blaine said sarcastically, “I tried to make you feel better by explaining why nothing has changed between us but you’re so shit scared that it has and you can’t deal with it so you’re picking a fight to get out” Blaine rolled his eyes.

“Is that what I’m doing? Oh well, YOU WOULD KNOW” Kurt shouted before storming out of Blaine’s apartment.

He began to walk home when it hit him…holy shit, what just happened?

He pace began to slow and Blaine’s car pulled up next to him, “Need a lift?” he offered, Kurt smiled shyly and got in the car.

“Look, Blaine, I’m sorry about what I said, I really don’t know what came over me. You were right, I’m just scared and-”

“Hey! Already forgotten, valentine” Blaine winked.

It was Valentines Day. The first Valentines Day that Kurt had had a proper boyfriend. One that he cared about. One that he loved.

“You wanna go for breakfast some place?” Kurt asked. Blaine smirked.

“Out for breakfast? Suuuure, why don’t we invite your dad and the principal along too. We can confirm the relationship then and there” Blaine replied sarcastically.

“I meant somewhere far, asshole” Kurt replied with a laugh. Blaine nodded and just drove. He took them to a place off the highway and wayyyy out of town. It was small and quaint. It was perfect for a valentines breakfast.

Hey both ordered pancakes and smiled at the heart-shaped batter they were presented with.

“So…do you still want to go home or do you want to come back with me?” Blaine asked, Kurt blushed and nodded.

“I guess spending the day with you wouldn’t be torture” he joked. After finishing their breakfast they got back into Blaine’s car and made their way back.

As soon as they walked through the apartment door, “Movie day on the sofa?” Blaine suggested. Kurt suppressed his urge to roll his eyes. Another movie day. Great. How unexpected, he thought.

The word ‘boring’ flashed in his mind and he shuddered.

They sat quietly together on the sofa, wrapped up in each other’s embrace until they found a film they could agree on…’No Strings Attached’.

Kurt’s mind wandered throughout the film, only diming back in ever so often to admire Ashton Kutcher’s beautiful face on screen.

“…go hook up with someone else” Kurt heard from the screen, an idea flashed into his head.

“Hey…maybe we should do that?” Kurt suggested.

“Do what?” Blaine asked, thoroughly confused by Kurt’s words.

“…Take Natalie Portman’s advice”

“You mean…hook up with someone else?” Blaine asked in disbelief, Kurt nodded.

“You know to try and keep it interesting, keep it exciting…” Kurt explained. Both Blaine’s heart and faced dropped.

“Kurt, we’re literally breaking the law to be together and you need something to ‘keep it exciting’?” Blaine asked, Kurt shrugged. Maybe it was too soon to suggest something this outrageous.

“I don’t know, it was just an idea” Blaine sighed.

“Fine, if that’s what you want then we’ll do it. We’ll hook up with someone else” Blaine agreed, Kurt was in shock.

“really? You’d really do that?” Kurt asked. A third surprised, a third excited and a third really hurt. Blaine sighed in response.

“If that’s what you really want? You know I’d do anything to make you happy, Kurt” he said, Kurt nodded.

“I think it’s what I want” Kurt expressed.

“You think? You have to be sure…this isn’t the sort of thing you can come back from if you change your mind” Blaine warned. Kurt nodded and bit his lip.

“…I’m sure”

Blaine nodded and distanced himself from Kurt on the sofa. He didn’t feel like cuddling now…now he knew that Kurt was bored with just him.

“Are you okay?” Kurt asked, Blaine lied and nodded.

“Just thinking about who I want to hook up with. Are there any rules?” Blaine asked, Kurt shrugged and sat up.

“um…no kissing on the mouth?” he suggested, Blaine nodded.

“No spooning and/or cuddling?” Blaine added in, Kurt agreed.

“And no…semen” Kurt finished, Blaine raised an eyebrow inquisitively, “you know, no swallowing and no inside us without a condom. No skin contact with semen” Kurt explained, Blaine nodded and they shook on it.

The rest of the day seemed to drag on longer and more painful than usual. All of this talk made it very awkward.

* * * * *

Kurt was at home, pacing in his bedroom with his phone in hand. The number was on the screen, all he had to do was press the little green button but with all the strength in his body, he couldn’t force his finger to press down hard enough to push it.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

He pushed the green button and pressed the phone to his ear. The ringing seemed to go on for years until a smooth voice filled his eardrums.

“Hello?” the voice answered.

“Hi…it’s me, Kurt” Kurt answered.

“Kurt. What a pleasant surprise” the voice replied, Kurt nodded.

“Would you want to meet for coffee? I have a…proposition for you” Kurt informed him. There was silence.

“Sure, how does 4pm sound? Lima Bean? I’ll meet you there” he replied.

“Sure, sounds great. See you there, Sebastian”