Tapping his pencil rhythmically against the page of his textbook, pausing every few minutes to make a quick note in his notebook, Kurt looks up when he hears bedsheets rustling. Gazing over at Rachel wriggling out of her sweater, wearing only the briefest camisole underneath, he contemplates how many boys would wish to be in his position as Rachel flashes a naughty smile at him over her shoulder and lies down on her stomach on his bed, sucking on the end of her pen and flickering occasional come-hither looks up at him.

Nodding at her, Kurt looks back down at his textbook, waiting for the creak of mattress springs and the sound of bare feet on the floor as Rachels arms curl around his neck, her lips on his skin. "Tempted, baby?" she croons in his ear, running her tongue around the shell. Kurt nudges her off, returning to his studying, only for her to sit down in his lap and kiss him, her tongue sliding against his as he tries to feign interest, sliding his hands up and down her back as she wriggles like a cat against his thighs. "Shall we move this to the bed?" Rachel asks with a sultry smile, standing up and facing Kurt with her body beckoning. Looking at her, with her shoulders bared and her breasts straining against the fabric and her skirt lifted to almost indecent levels by her wriggling around, Kurt knows he should feel something other than apathy towards her body.

Pushing his chair back, he crosses the room and takes Rachel in his arms, kissing her slowly until her nails dig into his scalp and her kisses turn hungry as she pushes him towards the bed, pulling at the buttons of his shirt as he slides his hands down slightly, fingers brushing the waistband of her skirt. This is nothing new. Theyve made out before and taken clothes off in front of each other and touched and rolled around in bed. This hasnt changed.

But things change as Rachel slides her hands up beneath Kurts shirts, palms soft and warm as she slowly maps out his chest, touch gentle and searching. She slides his shirt off, pressing her breasts against his chest, and sits up with promise in her eyes as he slides his hands up her back to her shoulders, stroking his fingers gently through her hair. "Wait," she whispers, and pulls her camisole up over her head as Kurt watches, laying his hands on her waist as she smiles at him, now clad in only a short skirt and a black lace bra, positioning her hands either side of his head as she leans down over him. "Hey baby," she whispers, and kisses him, taking his hands and bringing them to her breasts, tossing her head back and moaning when he squeezes the warm, firm flesh.

As Rachels hands move down to his thighs, Kurt starts to tense up with nerves, fighting off the urge to buck her off and excuse himself to freak out in private. He doesnt want this, he doesnt want to have sex with Rachel, not with any girl, the only person he really thinks of like that is Blaine, and thats not an option, he cant hurt Rachel. Her fingers close around the crease of his thigh, dangerously close to his disinterested dick, and he slaps her hand away, trying not to let out a slightly hysterical, high-pitched laugh at her wide, shocked eyes as she pulls away. "What was that for?" she asks with a wounded look, rolling off Kurt and perching cross-legged on the bed, folding her arms indignantly. "Cant I touch you?"

"Im not ready, Rach," Kurt says gently, reassuringly, hoping the excuse will hold firm for another night. "I want to be sure of this before we even think about going down that road. I mean, youre beautiful, but I dont want to take advantage of you."

"Kurt, for Gods sake, I want sex more than you seem to!" Rachel shouts, furiously yanking her camisole back on, defiantly covering herself with her sweater for good measure. "I cant stop thinking about it. Weve been dating for a year and not once have you ever asked for anything more than a kiss. I can barely even get you to touch my breasts. Dont you want to?"

Swallowing the acidic taste of lying, Kurt says, "I do, babe, I really do. But I want to respect us and what this relationship means to us. It isnt just about sex, and I dont want to kill our friendship either. So well just wait, and well make it a romantic night instead of some cheap hour snatched in an empty house. We can get a hotel room and champagne and candles and make a playlist."

Rachel seems to perk up at that idea, and leans over to kiss Kurt again. "Youre so good to me," she purrs. "I bet youll exceed my wildest expectations when we finally do this." Kurt just nods, kissing her cheek with a smile and pulling her into his lap as he reaches over to continue highlighting passages in his textbook, smiling with honest love as she snuggles into his shoulder and drapes her arms over him. If only things could be simple and he could want her the way he wants Blaine.

To: Blaine
2:05pm
I want to see you. Is there a way?

From: Blaine
2:10pm
Come meet me at Dalton? Leave straight after school, you can tell Rachel were trying to bond as future brothers-in-law.

To: Blaine
2:13pm
I dont feel brotherly towards you

From: Blaine
2:15pm
And I dont feel brotherly towards you. Ill see you around five?

To: Blaine
2:17pm
Perfect, Ill be there

It doesnt take much for Kurt to convince Rachel hes simply hanging out with Blaine as friends. Her eyes light up at the prospect of her boyfriend and her brother trying to be friends, and her face is so full of trust it makes Kurt falter, makes him wonder whether they should just dedicate tonight to being friends, studying together and blasting music and watching TV and not sneaking glances at each others mouths every few seconds. Driving to Dalton, Kurt convinces himself it would be a far better idea, that the kisses can fall at the wayside, a one time thing, and he can turn back to Rachel and just be Blaines friend. Maybe someday, but not now, and not for years to come, not until hes sure Rachel wont be upset, but maybe he can be with Blaine.

By the time Kurt reaches Dalton, hes already composed a speech that will hopefully let Blaine down gently, maybe even give him a little ego boost, and climbs out of his car fully prepared to find Blaine and say it sincerely and firmly, make it clear that they need to stop before someone gets hurt. But Blaine is already waiting for him on the stone steps, bobbing eagerly on the balls of his feet, bright and grinning and ready, running across the parking lot to hug Kurt, turning his face into the crook of his neck. Clutching Blaine tightly, inhaling his scent and telling himself he has to tell him to stop this, Kurt cant help the gasp that escapes him as he feels Blaine tongue on his neck, hot and damp. "Inside," he murmurs, and Blaine grins and grabs his hand, tugging him inside after him.

Blaine leads him through the school, corridor after corridor and several spiralling staircases, until he opens a door and pulls Kurt into his room, eyes bright with promise. "No roommate?" Kurt asks nervously, eyes darting around, resting for a long moment on the neatly made bed.

"Perks of an emergency transfer halfway through the semester," Blaine explains softly, shucking off his blazer and hanging it on the back of the door. Tilting his chin up, he takes Kurts hands and guides them to the knot of his tie, his eyes watching closely as Kurt pulls the material from around his neck with shaking hands, mouth dry and swallowing thickly as his eyes meet Blaines, so much heat between their gazes that it seems to scald him. "Kurt," Blaine breathes, and something inside Kurt just breaks, all his barriers shattered by that sweet whisper, the flutter of Blaines eyelashes and the quick flash of his tongue darting out to wet his lips.

They breathe into their kiss, harsh and hot and abrupt, Blaines fingers digging into Kurts wrists, slowly sliding up his arms to cup the back of his head, pulling him closer, mouths mashing messily together. Sliding his hands down Blaines back, over his thin shirt, feeling the heat of his skin through the cotton, Kurts knees buckle slightly when Blaine breathes, "Take it off," in a way thats half a moan. Pushing the material from Blaines shoulders, he kicks the shirt away from them, eager hands scrambling to feel every inch of newly-bared skin. Blaines fingers reach the buttons on Kurts shirt, and he pulls away, a question written across his face, and all Kurt can do is nod his permission.

"God, you are beautiful," Blaine murmurs when their shirts are lying on the floor, curled like cats around each other. Kurt blushes, the pink stain going down his neck and chest, and Blaines warm fingertips trace the edges, brushing against Kurts nipples and making him gasp. "How far is too far?" Blaine asks softly, and Kurt cant help but feel a surge of affection for him, for the way he asks and never pushes and never expects anything beyond what Kurt offers him.

"Maybe...maybe your hand," he suggests hesitantly, and sees the colour flood into Blaines face, the way his eyes go dark and possessive and wanting. "Not all the way, not yet. It should be special. We should...we should be each others firsts."

"I want that," Blaine says, grin bright and eager, nodding over and over until Kurt rolls his eyes and kisses him, arms winding around his slender waist, fingers massaging down his back, thumbing at the waistband of his uniform slacks. Blaine groans into Kurts mouth, his lips parting and his tongue against Kurts own, exploring every little whorl of teeth, hips bumping against Kurts and backing him towards the bed. The backs of Kurts knees hit the wooden frame and he flings out a hand to steady his fall, still kissing Blaine as he clambers into Kurts lap, strong thighs bracketing his hips.

When they finally part for air, theyre both breathing unsteadily, flushed and shaking and sweaty, smiling bashfully and ducking their heads away when their eyes meet. "Lie down," Blaine says softly, and Kurts heart pounds almost painfully, Blaine dark-eyed and wanting and sexy above him, his hands either side of Kurts head and his weight on Kurt, heavy and hot and masculine. Blaine reaches for the button on Kurts jeans, waiting for him to nod before he pops them open and edges them down, placing a gentle kiss to Kurts thigh as he goes that has a moan slipping from Kurts lips before he can bite it back.

Neither of them says a word as Blaine undresses too, both of them only in their underwear as Blaine puts all his weight on Kurt, arms wrapped under his shoulders and hands pulling his head closer, kissing and kissing until the need for air in overwhelming, breaking away only to rub against each other and peck soft kisses against faces and necks until the tension snaps and they find their way back to each others mouths, back to the soft give and take of their tongues in each others mouths, back to Kurts hands on Blaines chest, fingertips moving through the scattering of wiry dark hair. Blaine turns out to be a talker, murmuring praise and wishes and soft expletives every time Kurts fingers pass over this spot low on his ribs, his swearing growing louder when Kurt does it again and again, until he can feel Blaine hard against the inside of his thigh.

"Touch me," Kurt breathes into the heady air between them, and Blaines eyes go wide, his breath still warm against Kurts lips when he breaks away, the taste of his mouth lingering. "Blaine, please. Touch me, make me come, and kiss me goodnight."

And Blaine bites, teeth on Kurts shoulder, and theres going to be a mark and Kurt cant help but moan, nails digging pale crescents into the tanned length of Blaines back, slipping on the sweat already glistening on his skin. His hand slides downwards, over Kurts chest and stomach, and he tucks four fingers inside the waistband of Kurts briefs. "Are you su- Kurt oh myGod!" Tired of waiting, after waiting so long to feel this, another man with him, touching him, Kurt grabs Blaines wrist and shoves his hand down, pushing his hips greedily up into the rough touch of Blaines palm.

"Oh God - yes," he hisses out as Blaines hand circles him, moving slowly up and down his shaft, finding a rhythm. "Are you su-sure you havent done this before?"

He cant help the small cry that he lets out as Blaines other hand slides inside his briefs too, stroking his balls and exploring further, thumb massaging his perineum and sending heat shooting up his spine, simmering in his belly. "Blaine, Blaine, baby, too fast, wanna savour it."

Opening his arms, Kurt smiles as Blaine leans down to kiss him, his hand still on Kurts cock, moving faster, trying to urge Kurt to a spectacular finish. "Baby, its not a race," Kurt observes with a giggle that goes up into a gasp as Blaine kisses down his chest, the flat of his tongue on his nipple.

"Can you blame me for wanting all of you?" Blaine asks, chin on Kurts chest and a content smile on his face. "Now stop talking and let me make you come. Unless you want to scream my name, of course."

"Oh shut up," Kurt snaps fondly, and slumps against the bed when Blaine returns his full attentions to leaving hickies on Kurts chest. "Come on, heres a challenge. Youve got ten minutes, and then I have to head home. Either make me come or Ill be doing myself at home tonight. And you wont get pictures." Blaine raises an eyebrow, and leans down, all his attention on making the heat in Kurts belly boil, the sparks shoot up his spine and his jaw slacken around a cry of Blaines name as he comes, soaking Blaines hands and the front of his briefs.

"Four minutes," Blaine says triumphantly. "I win." Rolling his eyes, Kurt bats pathetically at Blaines side until he moves and helps Kurt sit up in all his loose-limbed post-orgasmic state, bringing the pile of his clothes over. "You said you had to leave," he says softly. "So I dont mind if you dont return the favour. But I want you to know Ill be thinking about you." He kisses Kurt, so soft and sweet, and adds, "Im always thinking about you."

Stripping off his ruined underwear, Kurt dresses quickly and texts his father to let him know hes on his way home. "Thank you," he says, quiet and genuine. "That was amazing." Blaine beams up at him, ridiculous and bright and mostly-naked, the bulge of his dick obvious, and Kurt ghosts a hand over it as he leans down to kiss Blaine goodbye, swallowing his whine. "Ill call you," he says, and Blaine nods, eyes half-lidded with lazy lust and lips swollen from kissing.

Its only as Kurts walking out of the school that he realises he doesnt feel a single twinge of guilt twanging at his heart strings. Only warmth and peace and contentment, creeping through his veins and making the flush stay in his cheeks despite the cold of the winter night, as he climbs into his car and spares one last glance up at the school. From here, he cant tell which room is Blaines, doesnt even know if you can see his window from the parking lot, but he likes to imagine he can. He wants to think Blaine can feel him looking, might play up his writhing and moaning for him, hair messy and eyes dark and nipples hard under his own thumbs.

Blaine, thinking of him in the sheets where Kurt came with someone else for the first time. Blaine, his first. Blaine, the one he can feel this irrevocable pull towards. Blaine, the boy hes risking everything for.