Sugar Baby

Twenty-One

The floorboards creaked softly as someone stepped over the threshold of the room, but Kurt remained still, listening to whoever it was cleaning the uneaten tray of food from the nightstand and leaning over to shake him gently where he was curled in a ball under the covers. "Kurt, honey, Cooper's making breakfast, you need to come out and eat something, you know not eating isn't good for the baby," Quinn said softly, rubbing his back slowly. "You're going in for a check-up at the end of this week, after all this stress and not eating. Come on, honey, just come and sit with us for a while and have some toast, then we'll leave you alone to do whatever you want with your day."

Kurt nodded slowly, sitting up and fidgeting with his twisted shirt, smoothing out the creases over the words WARBLER RECORDS, a shirt that still smelt slightly of Blaine, musk and wood and sweet raspberries, and climbing out of bed, straightening up carefully, Quinn's hand secure on his shoulder to keep him steady. "Fine, but I'm just going back to bed afterwards," he said dully. "You wouldn't happen to know where Santana hid my headphones, would you?"

Quinn laughed and slipped an arm around him to guide him into the living room, where Cooper sat with his feet up on the coffee table and a plate of eggs, bacon and toast balanced on his lap, coffee and orange juice on the table. "Cooper, darling, I love you, but please, feet off the table, use coasters and do not get crumbs on my leather sofa," she said, affectionately flicking his ear as she shoved his feet to the ground. "And that is a lot of food, you better have left some of that for me and Kurt and the baby."

"I love you too, as much as you like to nag me," Cooper said sweetly, and Kurt his eyes to the cup of chamomile tea set out from him when they kissed, not just to give them privacy, but because to watch couples kissing and smiling at each other broke his heart a little more, though he hadn't thought it possible to be any more shattered than he already was.

He could see the two of them, in the same apartment in a few years time, with rings on their fingers and their pet names and their affectionate nagging and morning kisses, a toddler with Quinn's delicate looks and Cooper's rambunctious nature sleeping where he was now. Everything he'd wanted with Blaine would be theirs without arguments or problems or interfering ex-lovers, a family and a baby and a marriage that would last. Neither of them would find themselves sleeping in a bed in an apartment where they felt unwelcome despite the warm nature of their friends, clinging to the threads of a broken relationship with a bird and a shirt to sleep in and a bracelet hidden between the bedframe and the mattress.

"I miss Blaine," he said softly as he sank into the sofa next to Cooper, with his plate of dry toast and eggs and mug of chamomile tea laid carefully on a coaster. "Do you think I should try and go back there, talk to him, have a quiet discussion without everyone there on my side trying to hit him and make him feel guilty?"

"He should feel guilty," Quinn observed acidly from her perch on the arm of the sofa, her feet in Cooper's lap. "What he did was an awful, horrible way to react to it all, and he really hurt you. Makes you kind of glad Puck punched him in the jaw." She waved her hand to brush it off when Kurt opened his mouth to ask, the image of Puck, angry and protective, punching Blaine in the face and leaving him bruised for days.

"If I know anyone in this world, Kurt, I know my brother," Cooper said, taking another bite of toast. "And I know he's closed off and sometimes seems bipolar, but he gets that from our dad. Our parents didn't have a very healthy marriage, and while I think I managed not to be impressioned by that and find my way to a good relationship with an amazing woman, Blaine has been affected by it. You're the first person he's ever gotten in so deep with, and it doesn't excuse cheating on you, but sometimes you just have to look at it from his point of view."

"So I was thinking, tonight, you and me, some candles, make it like the old days," Sebastian drawled, pressing himself against Blaine's back where he stood gazing out at the bright summer's day, a young couple walking their baby down the street in its stroller, two mothers chattering with toddlers balanced on their hips, and a man with a son looking around five or six on his shoulders, grinning and jogging down the street while the little boy laughed. "Come on, Anderson, what do you say?"

"I say get the fuck off me, leave me alone and if you come near me one more time I will fire you," Blaine snapped, and stormed back up the stairs to his room, slamming the door demonstratively loudly behind him, feeling sixteen and belligerent and rebellious again as he sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling the still mostly-blank sheet of paper from the top drawer of his nightstand and rolling onto his stomach, rapidly clicking the pen in his hand.

Kurt, I love you. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm sorry for the way I've treated you. I'm sorry I'm rapidly turning us into an imitation of the sham of a relationship my parents had. I know I've been awful to you. Believe me, if my instincts didn't stop me from punching myself hard enough that I blacked out for at least a few hours, I would do it.

I didn't start this between us expecting to have a crying, pregnant teenager in my arms five months later. I didn't expect to fall in love. Honestly, I didn't expect anything but one night with an unbelievably hot teenager who said he knew what he was doing and proved it a thousand times better than I'd expected in bed. I would never have guessed that I was his first, that he would fall in love with me, that he'd get pregnant with baby, or that I would ever want to pursue a commitment with him.

I know you don't want me in your life right now. That maybe I'll never see you again, I'll never get to meet our son or see you smile at me again. For now, I know you're doing right by you and our son, and maybe the next time you see me you'll slam a door in my face and refuse to let me in. But that doesn't mean I'll give up on you. On us. I will never stop trying to get you back, Kurt. Even if what we have can never move forward, you at least deserve to know the whole truth. You at least deserve to hear me tell you out loud that I love you.

Blaine stared at the words for a few moments more before he folded the paper neatly and shoved it into his pocket, grabbing his keys from the nightstand and rushing down the stairs, ignoring Sam sternly asking where he was going and running down to his car, driving towards Quinn's apartment, ready to see Kurt. Ready to tell Kurt he was in love with him, and he wanted to be there for the baby, no matter what.

He was ready, but his mind sent the memories of that night flooding over him in waves, of Sebastian over him and all around him, hot and smothering and wrong, of Kurt's face streaked with tears when he screamed at him to just leave, of losing everything he'd ever cared about, and he stopped at the side of the road, tears streaming down his face. He only regained control over himself when his phone began to ring, and he picked up to see his brother's name on the screen. "Coop?"

"Hey, little brother. So I'm at Quinn's apartment the other day, waiting for my girlfriend to get home from hanging round at your place with rest of those misfits you call signed performers, and she turns up with Puck and Kurt, who's crying and clutching a bird cage like it's the most important thing in the world, and while she's taking care of him, Puck tells me that you slept with Sebastian even though you finally made it official with Kurt, and he left you to raise the baby alone. Why in the hell did you wreck something so good?"

"Cooper, please, don't...I don't know what I'm doing, okay? I've fallen in love with him and I fucked it all up so bad and now I can't...I c-can't have him, and it's all my fault! I mean, I was coming over, to see him and try to talk to him and give him this letter I wrote, but I can't even drive straight because all I can think about is how I broke his heart and I'm stuck on the side of the road and people keep swearing at me and I can't cope with this!"

"Whoa, squirt...Blaine, just calm down, okay. I'm coming to find you, we can talk and if I think you're ready, I'll bring you back to the apartment and you and Kurt can talk and maybe make sense of this whole messed-up situation. Don't do anything until I get there, just sit tight, I won't be long."

"Thank you," Blaine said, a sob slicing through the words, and waited for Cooper to hang up before he lowered the phone to his lap, swiping at his eyes with the back of his hand, hunching up in the seat and keep his eyes on the road, waiting for his brother to come, to help him muddle through, to make it all alright.

Kurt sat up slightly, pulling out a headphone piping Someone Like Youinto his ear and wiping the tear tracks quickly from his cheeks to offer Cooper a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm going out, got to meet with my female co-star to talk about boundaries, since we're both in happily committed relationships," he explained, and Kurt nodded. "Quinn will be back in about half an hour, she swore up and down it was just a quick visit to Santana and Brittany's to take their cat to the vet, since they're both working, and pick up some milk and bread on the way back. Are you going to be okay?"

"Cooper, I'm a seventeen year old, heartbroken pregnant boy who's currently lying in bed listening to Adele and thinking about his ex, how much trouble do you think I'm going to get into?" Kurt asked dryly, and Cooper chuckled and leaned over to ruffle his hair affectionately.

"At least you haven't lost your sense of humour in the wake of all this," he observed fondly. "Numbers for the doctor, the Pierce-Lopez place and the pizza delivery are all on the noticeboard should you be in need of medical advice, gossip or food while you're alone. Tell Quinn I'm bringing home pasta from the place down the street and she doesn't need to do anything except relax and wait for me to come home and give her that foot massage I promised."

Kurt smiled and nodded and sank back into the bed as he left, singing softly along to Rumour Has It, wondering if the baby could hear him singing, hoping he was still too young to hear the cracking and the heartbreak in his voice.

Blaine looked up when someone knocked lightly on his window, and leant over to let Cooper in, bestowing a tight, one-armed hug on his brother, looking for reassurance in the smell of the same cologne he'd been wearing since he was twelve and Blaine was seven. "Well, you must be really messed up if you're looking for hugs," Cooper observed, and Blaine grinned and chuckled into his shoulder, pulling back to wipe futilely at his swollen, tear-glazed eyes. "So, what you said on the phone, is that true? Do you love Kurt?"

"I really do, I've thought about it so much and now I'm absolutely sure," Blaine promised softly. "I'm in love with Kurt, and I just don't know what I'd do if anything happened to him, or the baby."

Kurt looked up at the sound of a footstep in the main body of the apartment, calling out, "Quinn? I thought you were going to be longer." But no, the footsteps were too heavy to be Quinn, more those of a man that of a young woman in heels. "Cooper? Did your co-star cancel the meeting?"

"If you really are serious about this, you have to prove it to him, not me or any of your friends," Cooper said sternly, squeezing his shoulder. "Heard about Puck punching you, by the way. Must've been rough, though I have to admit I feel more sorry for Smythe getting slapped by Santana, that woman is vicious when she's pissed off and protective."

"Barely felt it, honestly, and I deserved it," Blaine said sadly, pillowing his chin on his hands and leaning his elbows on his knees, hunched over like a chastised young child. "I did a shitty thing, and I just don't know how to make it up to him.

The man was back, but his face in plain view this time, obviously thinking this would be the last trip. A knife hung at his side, sharp and shining and lethal, but the bat in his hands terrified Kurt more, as he backed away desperately, wrapping both arms around his belly to protect his baby, Blaine's baby, their son. "Please, please don't hurt me, I didn't do anything! Don't kill my baby, he's done nothing wrong, it's not his fault that I am what I am, don't hurt us!"

"Are you ready to be a father, and a faithful, supportive boyfriend?" Cooper asked, his eyebrows drawn together, face set and solemn and serious. "It's a huge change, Blaine, especially for you, with the way you've lived your life up to now. This baby, this little boy, is going to rely on you for everything, and you'll be supporting Kurt too. He's only seventeen, he's not even out of school, and he's got ambition pouring out of him, he'll want to go to college and get a good career started. Can you be there through all of that?"

"I never thought it was going to be easy," Blaine assured him. "From the second he stood in my apartment, crying and terrified and telling me he was having my baby, I knew it would be hard. I risked everything I have just to bring him here so I could help him when he didn't have anyone, and I fell for him, which is so dangerous. But I think I can do it, and I'll try as hard as I can to be there for him. I love him."

"I swore I'd get you, you freak," the man hissed, advancing on Kurt, who kept backing away until he was back against the wall, with nowhere to go. "You destroyed my life. You made him leave. You left me to cope with her."

"I didn't mean to, it wasn't my fault, I didn't mean to get pregnant, I didn't even know it was possible!" Kurt screamed, tears sliding down his cheeks as he clutched at his bump. "Please don't, you're better than this, you can try to be a good man!"

"It's not just about loving him, Blaine, it's about being willing to try and to work through the bad times and to support and provide for him and the baby, and be a good father and a good man," Cooper said solemnly. "I have faith in you, and I really do believe that you can do it, but you have to believe in yourself and not give up at the first hurdle like you have now. You've messed up, but you can still fix it. But you both need to be away from each other for a while, to get your thoughts together and to let Kurt think about what he wants without you hovering around."

"How long?" Blaine asked softly, a little desperately, looking up at Cooper with damp eyes and blotchy cheeks, feeling for a moment that fifteen year old boy again, coming out to his parents and being blocked out, going to his brother for comfort and being gathered in strong arms and taken to a place where he could kick and scream about the unfairness of life without being told he was crazy.

"Take a month, get your thoughts in order, maybe prepare a speech if you want to go that way, let Kurt think about this all in his own time," Cooper answered softly, rubbing Blaine's shoulder. "If you say you love him, I believe you, but please don't mess him about. That kid is way too fragile for any more bullshit from you."

"No, don't, D-"

The first hit. The second. The third. The knife.

Blood. Bruises. Pain.

A bloodcurdling scream.

And darkness.

"I won't bullshit him any more, or treat him badly, or mess him around," Blaine promised, to himself as well as Cooper. "I really do love him. I want him to be happy, I want him to be with me, and I want us to be a family who can work through our issues."

Cooper smiled at him, but it slipped away when his phone started ringing and he scrabbled through his pockets to get at it. "Hi honey, what's up?" he asked, winking at Blaine and smiling tenderly at the phone. "Oh...okay, he's right here, I'll just pass you over." He handed the phone over, saying, "It's Quinn for you, she sounds upset. Hopefully it isn't too serious."

Blaine bit his lip, taking the phone from Cooper and barely getting to his ear, exhaling in a long, shaky sigh, before Quinn started talking. "I went out to drop Britt's cat off at the vet's because they're both working and just went to the grocery store, I was out for fifteen minutes after Cooper left, tops, but I got back and the door was open and I know he would never leave it open, not after what could've happened to Kurt last time he stayed with me, and I went in and couldn't find Kurt and he wasn't responding when I called his name so I went into his room and...and...God, it was horrible, there was so much blood and a fucking knife lying on the floor and he was just lying there, and he was only just conscious and he couldn't tell me who'd done it, and I had to run downstairs covered in his blood to get a couple of the men living downstairs to help me move him, and the woman next door called an ambulance and Kurt started screaming and crying, begging us to save the baby, and I'm at the hospital right now and I know you two broke up and I'm still angry with you, but you need to be here, you can't just brush this off, they're trying so hard to keep the baby alive and I'm so scared, can you please just get over here as fast as you can?"

"We'll be right there," Blaine said, and dropped the phone, gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white. "Kurt was attacked, viciously this time. Blood and a knife and almost unconscious when Quinn found him. I have to...I just have to get to the hospital." Cooper nodded and gently prised his hands from the steering wheel, shifting into the driver's seat and starting the engine, turning around and driving as fast as he could within the law towards the hospital.