Jan. 17, 2016, 6 p.m.
You've got to hide your love away: Chapter four
E - Words: 3,364 - Last Updated: Jan 17, 2016 Story: Complete - Chapters: 21/? - Created: Dec 01, 2015 - Updated: Dec 01, 2015 107 0 0 0 0
What do you think?
Kurt is making his way to his car, humming on a song that wont leave his brain. But he stops when he catches the sight of his car in front of him. Because the first thing he sees is are bright red letters sprayed on the windows. ”Faggot”. Kurt swallows loudly, feeling his heart in his throat when he reads the letters. Faggot. The word echoes in his brain. That word that have haunted him for at least three years now, and normally this would make him both scared and sad. But Kurt doesn't feel sad. Not today. Because right now, he just feels pissed. He feels more mad and furious than ever before. He turns around quickly when he hears laughter behind him.
Karofsky, Azimio and the rest of the jocks.
”We thought we would give you a little surprise by decorating your car a little!”, Karofsky laughs louder than the others and nods towards Kurt's car.
Kurt feel his bones ache, he feel his fingers and toes and head tingling. He feels everything and nothing at the same time.
”What the hell is wrong with you?”, Kurt screams, surprised by his own voice. But he is not backing down. Not now.
”Hey, calm down little ladyboy, maybe you should be thankful for our little gift.”, Azimio says with a huge, amused grin before taking a step towards Kurt. The rest of his group of jocks does the same.
”What is wrong with you all? Apart from that you clearly do not have a decent life yourselves since you are making mine worse every single day. You're pathetic, and desperate for attention.”, Kurt is still screaming, gesturing wildly with his hands, ”What happened to you that made you this ludicrous and so damn pathetic?” the blue eyed bow continues and it's like he stands beside his own body, watching himself fight back for once, standing up for himself.
He can not control it, the screaming or the few steps towards the jocks that he takes.
”Maybe you shouldn't be so damn cheeky now faggot. Maybe you should just shut up and go over to your faggy car and drive off a cliff or something.”, Karofsky walks up beside Azimio, his smirk gone and instead he is looking at Kurt with clenched teeth, eyes looking empty.
”You know what? I feel bad for you both. Because we all know that some day you'll be working for me because I am the one of us that will be successful. That will be something. I am the one who will have a life after this high school bullshit. You won't succeed with anything. You're both two of those classical Lima losers who will be stuck in Ohio for the rest of your sad, pathetic lives, cleaning cars belonging to successful people like me. You will never be anything, and I think you both know it yourselves. That's why you are so damn scared of reality and decides to harass people like me, because you know i'm gonna be something. And you know that you won't be shit.”, Kurt isn't screaming anymore, instead his voice is calm, his eyes looking straight into Karofsky's.
Inside Kurt's head he is screaming to himself. Why the hell would he tell his bully that!? Why did he scream and why did he say those things? Neither Kurt or the Jocks behind Karofsky and Azimio even reacts before Karofsky is running towards Kurt, pushing the blue eyed boy up against a trash container, slamming his head against the metal.
”Karofsky, it's not worth it!”, Azimio says with a raised voice as he runs up to Karofsky, trying to hold him back but the guy is doing everything he can to keep pushing Kurt against the container wall.
The rest of the jocks stands behind them, confused whether to stop their friend or to do exactly like him; to beat the tiny boy up.
Kurt can't feel his body anymore, his eyes are starting to close by themselves as he tries to push Karofsky back one last time, but the other boy is twice as big and heavy as Kurt. He doesn't know what to do by now. So he just closes his eyes as he feels a fist against his face, again and again. He hears Karofsky spit out ”fucking faggot” so close to his face he can smell his breath. He doesn't do anything. He can't do anything. He can feel his nose start bleeding and his whole face feeling numb. He manages to open his eyes a tiny bit, just enough to see the other jocks just standing clueless behind Karofsky, not knowing what to do either. They're all just standing there, and Kurt feels like he is standing with them, along with the jocks, doing nothing about what's happening. Seeing himself and not doing anything. Kurt feels even more light headed as his head crashes into the metal again. And again. And again.
”What is going on? What the hell are you doing!? Let him go, Karofsky!”, a strong, angry and upset voice fills Kurt's ears.
His heartbeat starts racing at the sound.
He then hears another familiar voice, Mr Schuester's, shouting ”Stop it, let him go!”, but all Kurt can focus on is that first, angry, yet warm voice.
But Karofsky does not stop, he does not listen to the voices. Kurt can hear Mr Shuester screaming to let Kurt go along with that warm, familiar voice that he heard first.
”Let him go now, what the hell are you doing!?”, that warm but upset voice again.
Kurt opens his eyes as much as he can.
Mr Anderson.
Someone is pulling Karofsky off him, probably Mr Schuester, making Kurt fall helplessly to the ground. Because the boy does not have any energy left in his body to stand up. Mr Shuester holds back a furious Karofsky as Kurt feels someones jagged breath over him.
”Kurt? Kurt, please answer me if you can, okay?”, the warm voice over him is filled with worry and panic.
Kurt feels someones hand on his cheek. The touch light as a ghost.
”Mr Shuester, I think we need to call an ambulance.”, the warm voice, Mr Anderson, says.
”Listen closely if he is breathing, and if he isn't and you can't get any contact with him, call 911. I'll go with Karofsky to the principal's office and also to get the nurse, okay?”, Kurt hears Mr Shuester answer before hearing footsteps walking away from them, and then there's just Mr Anderson and a damaged Kurt left.
”He's breathing.”, Mr Anderson breathes out, a bit calmer than before.
Kurt still doesn't open his eyes, he can't get himself to do it, neither can he get himself to talk.
”If you hear me Kurt, just know that i'm here with you. It's Blaine-uhm- I mean- Mr Anderson. It's Mr Anderson here.”, he says, his voice calm and quiet and Kurt can feel the man sitting down next to him .
Kurt can once again feel how his heartbeat speeds up again. Blaine. Blaine Anderson is the man's name. Blaine. Why is he getting so excited about his first name? Kurt's head is spinning and he can't seem to think about anything else than that name right now. Blaine. Blaine Anderson.
”I am going to lift your head up really slowly okay? It might stop your nose from bleeding.”, Mr Anderson, Blaine (!), says as he grabs Kurt's head to lay it in his lap.
The blue eyed boy's heart is racing again, and he decides that he likes that name. A lot. Blaine. It tastes too good on his tongue and rings too beautifully in his ears. Blaine. Blaine Anderson.
”Mr Shuester will be out here with the nurse anytime now, okay. Everything will be okay.”, Blaine's voice says and Kurt feels something tracing down the side of his forehead. His fingers. Mr Anderson has Kurt's head in his lap, tracing his fingers over Kurt's forehead.
Oh.
Okay.
It feels like Kurt's chest might explode by now and as much as he would like to open his eyes and say something, he can't. Because all he can think about is that his damn, bleeding head is resting in Mr Anderson's lap right now. In Blaine's lap.
”I don't understand why someone would do this to him.”, Kurt can hear his teacher whisper to himself, sounding devastated, with his fingers still tracing down Kurt's temples.
”Talk to me if you can Kurt, please.”, Blaine (god, that name) continues with a shaky voice, almost cracking up this time.
Kurt can feel his body tense up. He takes a deep breath and does his very best to open his damaged, hurting eyes.
”Hi.”, he whispers, using all the little energy his body has left to say the tiny, quiet word.
”Thank God. Hi Kurt.”, Mr Anderson, Blaine, says. Voice filled with relief after twitching a little in chock, as he hears Kurt speak.
”Hi.”, he repeats, laughing in relief again.
Kurt tries his best to smile, but doesn't know if it just looks like a ugly grin instead.
The hazel eyed man smiles down at Kurt before throwing a glance to his fingers resting on Kurt's forehead and quickly pulls his hand away.
Oh.
A little too personal, a little too intimate.
”Uhm here comes the nurse.”, Blaine says, his breath jagged over Kurt's face.
The blue eyed, damaged boy doesn't even react when the nurse leans down over him, saying something to Blaine about needing to move Kurt back into the school and into the nursing room.
”Kurt? We will try to carry you back to the school now, okay? The nurse will help you there.”, Blaine says over him with a calm, caring voice. Kurt's heartbeat is speeding up like crazy again.
The boy doesn't react until he feels someone lifting him up, taking him into the same person's arms, starting to carry him. He slowly opens his eyes just to see Mr Anderson's chin over him. He is watching the man walking with his beautiful eyes focused straight forward. God, those captivating, magical hazel eyes. And then Kurt suddenly realizes. He is laying in Mr Anderson's arms. He is being carried by Mr Anderson and it should not feel as good and comforting as it does, but god, it really does. In fact, the boy is pretty sure that he has never felt this protected. He doesn't even know if there's students around him, watching them. But he does not care, because all he knows and all he cares about right now, is that he is laying in Mr Anderson's arms, and it's warm. And Kurt is calm. And Mr Anderson, Blaine, smells freaking amazing. Kurt is tempted to just nuzzle his nose into the man's chest, but he doesn't. Because he can't. Because this man is his teacher, Kurt reminds himself. And his heart drops a bit.
Very carefully, those strong arms are laying Kurt down on the couch in the nursing room. Kurt wants to fight back and crawl back into Blaine's arms again. Blaine. He tastes the name again. That's wrong, he shouldn't have those thoughts and he shouldn't feel that way, Kurt thinks to himself before he feels the nurse putting some ice over his eye.
”Thank you Mr Anderson, you can go now and i'll take care of him.”, Kurt can hear the nurse saying, still padding his eyes with ice.
”No. No, i'll stay.” Mr Anderson quickly answers and Kurt want to smile bigger than ever before, but he still can't manage to move his mouth or eyes or anything else in his face. Mr Anderson, Blaine, wants to stay with him, Kurt thinks. Whatever that means. He's probably just a caring teacher, that's all, Kurt convinces himself.
”Oh okay, sure, if you want to, that's fine.”, the nurse answers, a little confused as she continues taking care of the boy's damages and wounds on his face.
”Should I go get him some water or something?”, Mr Anderson asks the nurse, still sounding a little bit worried.
”Yeah you can do that, and pour some sugar in the water so we can get his blood sugar up as well. He still looks very pale.”, Kurt hears their conversation end before the door to the small room shuts.
The nurse cleans his wounds in his face before putting a few band aids here and there. Kurt does not even want to know how his face looks right now, probably like a total mess, he thinks.
The door is pushed open again as Kurt hears that warm, caring voice beside him again.
”I got him some lemonade. Thought that would taste a little better than just water with sugar in it.”, Mr Anderson says, and Kurt opens up his eyes so he can watch the nurse nod towards him, ”Great.”.
”Hi Kurt. I brought you something to drink, okay?”, his teacher says, a voice so low and full of care that Kurt wants to cry.
He feels the man's hand on his forehead once again and Kurt opens his eyes slowly again, ”Okay.”.
Mr Anderson smiles when Kurt responds and hands a cup with a straw to the boy, accidentally spilling a bit of the lemonade on Kurt's shirt.´
”God, sorry, Kurt.”, Mr Anderson quickly says, pulling up a napkin to give to him.
”At least it wasn't coffee this time.”, Kurt says with a weak smile, voice low.
Mr Anderson laughs, partly relieved, partly amused, ”It really amazes me how you manage to still be witty after you just got beaten up”.
Kurt smiles.
The nurse shoots them a funny look, almost looking suspicious?
”Do you feel better? Can you tell me where it's hurting?”, the nurse asks Kurt, but the boy is still looking at the man on his left side who is shooting a huge smile towards him. Blaine.
”Kurt?”, the nurse repeats.
”Oh, uhm, I feel a little numb now. But my eye is still hurting a bit. And my nose.”, Kurt says with a sigh and once again he can feel his heart race as he makes his teacher smile again for some reason.
”Do you think you can sit up for a bit?”, another question leaves the nurse's lips and Kurt nods.
Mr Anderson is quickly there to help Kurt sit up and to lay his hand on Kurt's shoulder when the boy is sitting, ”You have to tell us if you feel dizzy or anything okay?”
Kurt nods.
”Would you sit here with him while I go get some more things for his eye?”, the nurse says, smiling a little towards Kurt before walking out when the teacher nods to an answer.
”Do you want tell me what happened?”, Mr Anderson, Blaine, slowly says, sitting down next to Kurt, giving him a worried look and sounding more serious now.
”I guess we kind of got into a fight. They, uhm, they wrote something on my car, and I guess I just got upset, because it isn't the first time they've done something like that. So I fought back, or well, I yelled at them. And Karofsky got mad. And he pushed me against that trash container and then he just started to beat me up.”, Kurt tells him, shrugging a bit.
”We will talk to Karofsky and the principal tomorrow, okay? They will not get away with this. I don't even know how they could even think of doing something like this.”, the man swallows loudly, shaking his head, staring right in front of him, ”Can I ask you what they wrote on your car?”.
Kurt looks at him with blank eyes.
”Faggot.”, he says with a sigh.
He can see Blaine tense up beside him, taking a deep breath.
”This is insane. And they've done this several times, you said?”, Kurt can both hear and see his teacher getting seriously angry for the first time. He looks absolutely furious and the hazel color in his eyes is almost black now.
”Yes.”
”This is insane, how can the other teachers at this school let this happen!?”, Blaine quickly stands up, shaking his head, looking both devastated and mad as hell.
”I haven't told anyone in a while, okay? Or well, I did in the beginning but nobody really listened so I just stopped telling people.”, Kurt tells him, looking down at his hands. Almost as if he's ashamed. He receives another chocked look from Blaine.
”No, no don't blame this on yourself, Kurt. The teachers should have done something about it the first time you told them. These kind of things aren't supposed to fucking happen at all, good God. ”, Kurt stops breathing at Mr Anderson's words. And he really should not feel his heart race at that one curse that left his teacher's mouth. He should not find it hot, not right now. But he does.
The nurse arrives to the room again.
”So Kurt, i'll put this cream under your eyes, it will help it feel better faster, okay?”, the nurse explains and Kurt nods, still glancing at his furious teacher.
”Mr Anderson, would you maybe call Kurt's father?”, she continues, nodding towards the upset man.
”Absolutely.”, he answers shortly, looking at Kurt for a brief second before walking out.
Kurt doesn't even want to think of how upset his father will be. And he knows Karofsky and his gang won't stop even after all of this. But still, something feels different this time. Something feels better. It feels like something is going to change. Something.
Get your shit together, a man thinks to himself that same evening. A man called Blaine Anderson. A man who just a little earlier sat with a student's head in his lap while stroking that same student's forehead.
Blaine groans. Why the hell did he touch him like that? He knows it was inappropriate and if Kurt Hummel had been fully conscious, he would probably be creeped out by Blaine's action.
A even louder groan escapes his lips. He shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have held the boy so tight when he carried him back to the school. He shouldn't have stayed with him even when the nurse said that she would take care of him and that Blaine could leave. He shouldn't have felt like he wanted to keep the boy close to him and to protect him from everything bad. So why did he feel that way?
He groans again, burying his face in his hands. Why does he have to feel like him and Kurt had this deep, intense connection? Why does he feel like all he want to do is to protect the boy from everything bad that the world might throw at him? Blaine feels frustrated now. And angry. Like he just wants to punch something. Preferably that kid who decided to beat up Kurt earlier.
Blaine inhales deeply. He shouldn't be thinking like that. Sure, to feel like he is being a bit over protective over a student is one thing, but to feel like he want to punch another student, that's worse. He just doesn't get why the hell that kid, Karofsky, would do anything like that to Kurt? Because Kurt is kind, funny, smart and nice. What reason could that kid possibly have to beat up Kurt? Blaine doesn't get it, he just doesn't, but sometime that same night he decides that he will do anything for Kurt to feel safe at the school. He just want to be a good teacher, that's all. At least that's what he is trying to convince himself in the middle of the night.