Every few minutes the words of my text book would become undecipherable and it would only be another 15 minutes later before I realized that I obtained nothing from the last passages.

I spit out my pen, remembering how unsanitary it was. Then again, I was sure this wasn't the worst I'd had in my mouth.

And with that thought I gave up on my homework and began to text Blaine.

We had been keeping up a small-talk through numerous texts, but neither if us had made a move to see each other outside of school for about a week now. I missed him more than anything, but I didn't want to force him to start talking to me again if he wasn't ready. Apparently I had overstepped a boundary, but he wasn't letting me in, so I assumed the best move was to just wait for him to open up.

"So dude, being the awesome brother I am, have already found you a replacement!" Finn said to me, a giant goofy grin splitting his face open as he hovered over me.

I craned my neck up to look at the hulking mass before me. "What?"

"I know that your 'Little Kurt' is super over-active, trust me, I know the feeling. So I went out and found you a guy to help you get over Blaine with without all the emotions and stuff."

"What in God's name are you talking about?"

"I found this guy who said he'd love to meet you and would leave whenever you were...satisfied," he said with an eyebrow wiggle that I would sure would give me nightmares for the next week.

"I'm not interested, Finn."

"But he's totally hot!" Finn rebutted.

I raised an eyebrow.

Finn blushed a bit. "Or well, you know, from what I can gather."

I blinked. "Wait, wait, wait. Where did you possibly go to find me sexually active gay men? I'm a bit afraid to know."

Finn shuffled on his feet. "Well, not exactly searched for...more of 'browsed' if we're being technical."

I slid my hand down my face. "You didn't."

Finn grabbed a crumpled piece of paper from his back pocket and thrust it into my sight. All I could really see, in big bolded letters was "cragslist."

"He-"

"Finn! You hired me a prostitute?"

"What? No! His name is Xander and he said that-"

"I don't care what he said! If he's looking for money, then he's prostitute! Were you going to pay him?"

Finn averted my gaze and crumpled the paper into a ball, shooting it into the trashcan. "At least I didn't give him our address."

I buried my face in my hands, then after a few moments I looked back to Finn. "Anyways, Blaine and I aren't broken up."

"Really? But he hasn't been over here all week and you guys barely talk in school anymore.

I nodded. "Yeah, we're having a little fight, but it doesn't mean we've broken up."

"Really?" Finn grunted in understanding. "Maybe I should tell Rachel about that... or maybe not, that would probably start a fight and then she'd break up with me again."

I rolled my eyes, wishing I could at least concentrate on my homework, but Finn's presence and my phone kept me otherwise engaged.

"So what are you guys fighting about?" Finn asked, sitting down at the table with me.

I shrugged. "I actually don't really know." Well, besides for the whole I-still-haven't-topped-thing, I wasn't really sure what the issue was. I was about to attempt to discuss my new little problem with Finn when my phone buzzed beside me.

::Wanna come over? Now?:: Blaine.

I smiled at my phone and tapped out a quick reply as I got up to grab my wallet and car keys.

"Hey, where are you going? I thought we were gunna have a bit of brotherly bonding time?" Finn asked.

I smirked because he was being really cute about trying to help me...again.

"Sorry Finn, booty call," I said with a wink. He opened his mouth to ask more questions and I help up my hand and said, "Kidding. But at least he wants me over, so that has to be a good sign."

"Wait!" he said just as I was about to walk out the door. He bounded upstairs then rushed back down faster than I thought his body could move. He placed bright pink and teal packets in my hand. I looked at the "Her Pleasure" Trojan brand condoms.

He shuffled on his feet a bit. "I assumed it must work the same way for you guys so I bought these special for you."

"Thank you, Finnegan."

"Hey," Blaine greeted when I pulled up. His hair was a bit messy and I couldn't help myself when I jumped onto his arms, having missed his smell and feeling too much. "I'm sorry," he immediately apologized. "I should have explained why I was so touchy about the subject."

"It's okay," I breathed. "But before we discuss stuff...can I kiss you?" I asked, mental kicking myself for my lack of sophisticated words.

"Of course you can...you are my boyfriend." I felt him smirking when I cut off his last words with my lips, tilting my head to the side so I could get a deep kiss from him. Thankfully he was responsive and I felt his fingers dig into my waist, pulling me closer. I wanted him. I truly did. I felt like I would do anything, have any kind of sex with him right then just to make love with him at that moment, top or bottom be damned.

But that's not what I was supposed to be here for. I refused to leave there without getting an explanation. As he got carried away and tried to nudge his knee between my leg, I felt him getting a bit interested against my thigh and I forced myself to break the contact. "Blaine," I said, putting a hand on his collar, silently telling him that we weren't going to do that right then.

He frowned and ushered me in out of the cooling evening air. "Sorry," he mumbled under his breath. "I keep forgetting that I'm supposed to be angry with you, but I'm really not."

"Me too," I said with a little smile.

I sat down on his couch, seeing that neither of his parents were there, not that they would be since Blaine only invited me over when they weren't home.

He sat away from me, but I got closer to him and placed a hand on his thigh.

He closed his eyes and exhaled heavily. "You're going to hate me...because it's a really stupid reason."

"Blaine, if it's something that makes you uncomfortable, its not a stupid reason."

His face turned bright red and then he mumbled something under his breath. I didn't catch a word.

"Blaine, babe, I can't hear you."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "When I'm only being stimulated by my prostate...I don't release cum. And I think it's weird. I looked it up on the internet, apparently it's somewhat common, but I thought maybe you'd be disgusted and- "

I blinked. And then I started laughing.

His face got even redder, this time with anger. "Stop laughing at me! I'm really insecure about this!"

"Blaine, baby no! I'm not laughing at you. I'm-I'm not sure what I'm laughing at. I just can't believe that this is what has been bothering you for so long. You just said that it's common, so why would you think that I'd be unhappy?"

"I don't know. What if it were you?"

I leaned back and thought about it, unsure of how I would feel. "I'm not sure, but I'd tell you about it. Oh sweetie," I trailed off, bringing him close to me and stroking his hair. "I love you. And here you made me think that you had some kind of weird fetish thing."

He sat together for a few moments, just breathing and holding each other on his couch. I rested my chin on his head and made circles on his back. "So, I'm guessing you've fingered yourself?" I asked with a little growl to break the silence.

He snorted softly against my chest. "How else do you think I found out? Let me tell you, the first time I did it and had an orgasm without actually cumming was scary for me."

"Was that really all you were pissed about?" I asked, kissing the top of his head.

He shifted in my hold, pulling back again. "The other part was that you always seem like you love bottoming. One, I didn't want to take that from you, and two, I was afraid that...that I'd like it so much that I wouldn't really want to top anymore. I was raised in a different environment than you were, Kurt. You know that I'm crazy about you, but it's taken a lot of work for me to be comfortable about my sexuality. Being intimate with you is so wonderful and love trying new thinks with you. Every time we break a new wall though, it takes me out of that comfort zone that I create and brings me into something even more amazing and beautiful. It's scary to transition into every step of our relationship and our adulthood. I just have to have time to readjust myself again.

It's stupid, but because of my upbringing there is still that little niggling in the back of my mind about losing my masculinity, even when I know that sexuality is not a marker of being a man. Like I said, I just have to take my time and bring what I learn into every step of my maturation."

I put a finger to his lips and held back more laughter. "You're such a freak, Blaine. I love you. And everything you said is not stupid. You think I'm as confident as I look when we try new things? I just trust you more than anyone and know that I'm going to like it in the end. And about being a man, you're more of a man than half the guys in McKinley. And, I mean, look at me; I'm told and referred to as a girl every day. Then I look around me and I see the so-called 'men' of our school throwing food at each other, not knowing how to properly clean themselves, and acting like little boys. We've been through so much, Blaine. All the taunting and pain, and look at how strong we are. We are men, not boys and most certainly not girls. "

He sighed heavily. "Kurt... have I ever told you how wonderful you are?"

I chuckled. "On occasion."

"And Kurt?"

"Yes, babe?"

"I'll tell you when I'm ready."

I skimmed my lips over his forehead. "I'll wait forever if I have to."

"I love you."