Kurt stared up at the ceiling; Blaines soft breathing puffing out against his t-shirt, the only thing interrupting the silence. Kurt was rubbing his hand up and down Blaines bare back; a twinge of sadness hit him when he touched over the still healing scar on his lower back. He traced the six inch raised skin and thought about the time after the surgery.

Kurt stood as Dr. Riter appeared in the family waiting area.

"How did it go? How is he? Whats wrong with him?" Kurt rushed out all the questions that had been wrapped around his mind for the past four hours since Blaine had been taken into the operating room.

Dr. Riters smile was somehow a reassuring grimace, "Blaine is fine, he is in recovery and you should be able to see him in about forty-five minutes, hes still just waking up."

"And the tu…the mass?"

He sighed a little, "As you know, we had intended on doing the procedure microscopically; that changed, however, when we realized just how big it was. We had to go in, so unfortunately Blaine will have a larger scar then intended. Now, I sent away the biopsy, so we should know soon what we are dealing with, however because of the size and location of the mass, we were unable to remove it."

Kurt stared at him confused, his eyebrows furrowed, "I thought you said that the images showed it was in an ideal location and that it would probably be easy to remove?"

"Yes, unfortunately once we were in there it was clear that the mass was wrapped around multiple nerves and blood vessels. Attempting to remove it brought along the high probability that we wouldve left Blaine paralyzed."

"So…" Kurt opened and closed his mouth a few times, unsure as to which question to ask first, "What does that mean for Blaine?"

Dr. Riter looked away, getting his thoughts together, then back at Kurt, "Right now we wait for the biopsy to come back. Once we have a clear idea of what we are dealing with we can make a plan."

Kurt eyed him suspiciously, "You know what it is, dont you?"

"I…I cant say for sure, no." He shook his head.

"You cant say for sure, but you have an idea." It wasnt a question.

"Yes, I have an idea."

"Please…please dont make me wait for these tests results to come back to find out what you already know!"

Dr. Riter nodded back towards the seating area Kurt had been sitting in, "Why dont we take a seat."

A stray tear fell down Kurts face as he thought about what the doctor had told him, only to be further confirmed later on with the test results.

Stage three malignant plasmacytoma.

The mass in Blaines back was in fact a tumor. It was cancer. He was quickly started on a bi-weekly treatment of radiation and chemotherapy. For three weeks Blaine had been getting this treatment and the signs had already begun to show themselves.

Though he luckily did not get sick from the treatments, besides the one time that could have also been the hospital food that he had eaten, his appetite had diminished rapidly. Blaine had always been a grazer. He was one to eat small amounts of food, frequently throughout the day. Now, Kurt was lucky if he could get Blaine to eat two small meals at all. Besides his face, where his jawline and cheekbones were more prominent, one would not notice a difference in him.

It was Blaines head that gave away the real change. As Kurt ran his hand up to rub Blaines head, he was met with a distinct lack of hair. After the first week when he started noticing hair on his pillow and started to lose clumps of hair at a time, he had Kurt take care of the problem.

"Blaine, I cant."

He looked at Kurt with pleading eyes, "Please! Its all going to be gone soon anyway, I cant bear to watch it fall out anymore."

They stared at each other for a few moments, Kurt seeing the heartbreak and embarrassment in Blaines eyes.

He nodded, "Ok, I…Ill do it."

Blaine didnt smile but he did wrap his arms around Kurt and whisper, "Thank you," in his ear.

After his head was buzzed as short as possible, Kurt held Blaine while he cried. He held him until Blaine had fallen asleep and then Kurt had slipped out of their bed and went into the bathroom to clean up the mess they had left when Blaine had fallen apart upon looking at himself.

Kurt cleaned up the hair and then picked up the hair clippers and stared at it for a moment. He quickly brushed away Blaines hair that had been caught in it and then looked into the mirror at his own hair. With only the thought of the pain on Blaines face when he saw himself with no hair, Kurt turned on the clippers and brought it up to his head, closing his eyes as he did so.

Suddenly a hand gripped his wrist, stopping him from reaching his hair, "Kurt, what are you doing?" Blaines eyebrows were furrowed, concerned.

Kurt looked at Blaines reflection through the mirror; their arms still up in the air, the hair clippers an inch from Kurts hair buzzing loudly in the silence. He slowly lowered his arm and Blaine let it go so that he could turn them off.

"I…I dont know."

Blaine let out a small laugh, it settled Kurts nerves, "I think you almost just shaved your head."

Kurt looked down at the clippers then back up to Blaines reflection, his eyes wide, "Oh God, I almost just shaved my head."

Blaine laughed fully. He grabbed the razor from Kurts hand and put it on the counter then turned his boyfriend so they were facing each other, his demeanor curious, "What happened?"

"I came in here to clean and all I could think about was how sad you were and how much pain I could see in your eyes when you saw yourself with no hair…I…I wasnt even thinking."

Blaine smiled and leaned in to give Kurt a kiss. When he pulled back he said, "You were going to shave your head so that I wasnt alone in this."

Kurt smiled too, "I mean…not intentionally."

Blaine poked him in the side, "Hey!" They both laughed.

Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine again and hugged him, "I would do anything for you."

In the end, Sam had shaved his head to show solidarity. It was enough for Blaine that Kurt would even consider it, but with his head shape, he was glad that Blaine had stopped him.

Blaine still had some patches of stubble, though the majority of his head was soft and hairless. His eyebrows and eyelashes, too, had taken a hit and were slowly thinning. Blaine got in the habit of wearing hats whenever he left their bedroom. Though Kurt told him he had no reason to be, he was incredibly self-conscious about how he looked. Only Kurt, and surprisingly Santana, were able to see him with nothing covering his head, of course besides the doctors.

The notion of how Blaine and Santana had become such good friends was puzzling to everyone in their inner circle. Sometime around Blaines sophomore year in college, he had taken Santana out after her breakup with Dani, and since then they had been great friends. Kurt had not seen Santana speak to anyone in such a consistently sweet way since she had been dating Britney in high school. Whatever the reason, Kurt was grateful for their friendship because since Blaines diagnosis, Santana had been a Godsend.

Being that it was so late in the school year, Blaine had taken a leave of absence so that he could be home while he received his treatments. He was still weak and in a severe amount of pain most days, so it worked out that he had enough time saved up to be able to take the time off. Kurt was able to figure out working from home two days a week, while Santana stayed with Blaine the other three.

Santana had proven that being an opinionated hard ass was especially conducive as a talent agent. She worked for a reputable firm and would only take on the artists she deemed the most talented. This position allowed for her plenty of time to work from home, watching videos and listening to recordings of people performing, which she did from either Kurt and Blaines living room couch or laying next to Blaine on the bed with earphones in as he slept.

Kurt continued to rub Blaines back soothingly; he hoped that when he woke up from his nap, he would be feeling better. This morning was tough on him and Kurt hoped that the rest of the day would bring Blaine peace.

Kurt tried to sooth Blaines pain. He had given him the strong painkillers the doctor had prescribed, he rubbed his lower back, even the heating pad was doing nothing to dull the ache.

Kurt stood on the top of the stairs of their bedroom watching his boyfriend curled up on the bed, a grimace on his face and tears falling down his cheeks; he didnt know what else to do.

He walked over and sat carefully next to Blaine, wiping some of the tears from his face.

"Blaine? I called Dr. Riter, he said the only other thing we can do is go to the hospital and he said they can start you on a morphine drip."

Blaine pushed his face against Kurts thigh, but only moaned in response.

"Do you want to do that?"

He only shook his head a little that, no, he didnt want to go.

Kurt placed his hand on Blaines neck, hoping it was comforting, "What can I do then? I dont know what to do."

Blaine pulled back, tears were still running down his face but he looked up at Kurt, "Please, please just lie here with me, I dont want to go to the hospital, please!"

"Ok, ok, we can do that, I can do that," He scooted down so he was laying next to Blaine and Blaine rested his head on Kurts chest; soon he could feel dampness from the tears, "Shh, try to relax." He began rubbing up and down his back in a soothing manner.

After thirty minutes or so, Blaines body began to relax and within fifteen minutes Kurt could hear when his breathing had changed.

Now, Blaine began to twitch in a manner Kurt knew meant he was waking up. A few minutes passed before Blaine was lifting his head and blinking tiredly at Kurt.

"Hey. What time is it?" His voice was sleep filled.

Kurt smiled, looking at his phone, "Hi, umm just after four. How are you feeling?"

Blaine sat up and rubbed at his face a little, trying to wake up, "Umm…better, I think."

Kurt sat up too and kissed his bare shoulder, "Good, Im glad. I was worried there for a bit."

He looked down embarrassed, "Im sorry about that."

"About what?"

"Just…the crying and whining and all of that."

"Blaine…" He shook his head and stared at him like he was crazy, "You have a tumor in your back and youre currently receiving chemo and radiation therapy, I think youre allowed to whine a little."

Blaine huffed out a laugh, "I guess."

"Do you feel up to maybe watching a movie downstairs on the couch?"

He stretched a little, "Actually, maybe we can go to the movies?" He looked at Kurt hopefully.

"Youre sure that wouldnt be too much?"

"I think it might help to get out a little bit. Ive been stuck in the house for weeks besides going to the hospital."

Kurt thought for a moment and smiled, "I think that sounds like a great idea…youll tell me though if it gets to be too much?"

"Of course I will."

So they went to the movies. Kurt made them take a cab both ways and was sure to watch for any signs that it was too much for Blaine; but in the end, the rest of the day was good. He wasnt sure how many days would be good until Blaine was cured. Or the secret fear he kept hidden and pushed down under so many layers so that his heart didnt hurt so much with it…if he was cured. That wasnt even something he was willing to entertain at this point. The doctor couldnt give a definite prognosis, but he knew that they would know more after the first round of treatments.

For now, Kurt watched each of Blaines smiles like they were a work of art. He listened to his laughs as though they were a favorite ringtone. Their kisses and intimate moments he treated like their first times. He told his heart that their time wasnt numbered, but he kept count of these moments as if they were.