Kurt blinked his eyes, trying to adjust to the darkness in the loft. He had awoken and was still trying to figure out why. A glance at the clock over the stove told him it was only 3:30am and the city outside was mostly asleep at this point.

He moved slightly, trying to adjust Blaines dead weight on top of him, and thats when he felt the wetness. The bed near his thigh was wet and soaking into his pajama pants.

"Blaine." He called, reaching for the bedside lamp.

"Hmm…what?" Blaine woke up when Kurt had moved under him.

"The bed is wet," Kurt sat up and moved the blanket, "oh."

Where Blaine had been sleeping there was a large yellow wet stain.

"Oh my God, I…"

Kurt snapped his eyes up to Blaine from where he had been staring at the bed. He saw his fiancés eyes wide with horror and cheeks bright red. He knew now definitely wasnt the time to talk about it.

He stood up and walked over to Blaines side, "Come on, lets get you cleaned up."

Blaine stared down at Kurts pants, there was a large wet spot on the entire front and side of his left thigh, "God, Kurt, Im so sorry."

"Hey, no…its fine, really!" He tried to reassure, knowing there was no way this would be forgotten. Kurt pulled the blankets down, but as Blaine attempted to move his legs off the bed, he noticed that his feet seemed to drag.

"Are your feet ok?" He asked, concerned.

"I dont know…I cant really feel them." Blaine stared down where his feet were resting against the floor.

"You cant feel them?"

Blaine shook his head.

"Do you think you can walk?"

"Im not sure." He blushed.

Kurt nodded and helped lift Blaine to a standing position, but helped him sit once again when his legs almost immediately began to buckle and he cried out in pain.

"What happened? What hurts?"

Blaine was breathing heavy from the pain, "I dont…Its just like…shooting pain up my legs." He looked at Kurt scared.

"Ok, stay here for a second, Im going to get you a change of bottoms, then help you over to the couch. Im going to call the hospital; I dont think we should wait until the morning. Well just see what they say, ok?"

Kurt didnt wait for Blaines reply. He quickly made his way up the ladder, already feeling the sting of tears, to where their closet still was. Once he was inside, he held one of his sweaters to his face and allowed a sob to break free, muffled in the fabric. He was scared. This wasnt normal and there were new and worsening symptoms. He had read all the websites and he knew this wasnt good. He allowed himself one more minute of fear and then pulled back from the sweater and took a few shaky breaths.

After a few minutes, he was returning back down the ladder, pants and boxers in hand, his own bottoms changed, and no sign of crying or major anxiety present.

After Blaine was also changed, he gently carried him over to the couch, mindful that too much movement caused him a great deal of pain, and set him down.

"Im just going to change the sheets and then Ill call, ok?"

"Ok… Im so sorry, Kurt." He looked down, averting his eyes, and sniffling a little.

Kurt sat on the edge of the couch and rubbed his arm, "Theres nothing to be sorry about. This isnt like you got drunk and just couldnt control yourself Blaine, this is not your fault."

"Im just so embarrassed." A tear fell and Kurt wiped it away gently, tilting his head up so hed meet his eyes.

"Its just me, ok? This changes nothing. I love you no matter what."

Blaine smiled a little, nodding his head, "I love you too." He said quietly.

Kurt leaned down and kissed him, then went about changing the sheets and cleaning up the mattress. When he was done, he sat on the floor in front of the couch and dialed the number to the hospital.

After going through the prompts, he finally reached an actual human.

"Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, how may I direct your call?"

"Hi, can I please be connected to Dr. Kevin Riker?"

"Just hold for one minute."

He waited and listened as an outdated song came on. Kurt turned a little towards Blaine and grabbed his hand, squeezing it a little and relishing in the squeeze he felt back.

"Hello, Sir?" The operators voice came back on.

"Yes?"

"Dr. Riker wont be in until 5 am, would you like to be connected to his answering machine?"

"Well, um…is there someone else I can talk to? Someone that he works with or something, my boyfriend is having some trouble and I really need to talk to someone." He heard the urgency in his voice, and could tell when he felt another squeeze to his hand that Blaine could as well. He kept himself from looking at Blaines face.

"Sure, honey, just hold on and Ill connect to you Dr. Smith, hes the on call doctor right now."

"Thank you."

The music came on very briefly and suddenly there was a deep, but kind, voice on the other end.

"Hello, this is Dr. Smith, how can I help you?"

"Hi, um ok well my fiancé has stage three malignant plasmacytoma and hes been undergoing treatment for two months there, and hes been ok…I mean not ok, obviously not ok, he has cancer, but you know, ok. Anyway, we just woke up, I mean I woke up first, but because he um…well he loss function of his bladder I guess youd say, and well I mean, so he was going to get up, but then he couldnt feel his feet. I thought, you know, maybe that he could still walk, but he couldnt and he was, is, in a lot of pain. I mean hes been in pain anyway but this is worse and sudden pain, you know? Different pain." Kurt took a deep breath, realizing that he said that in entirely one breath, he could only imagine what he sounded like to the doctor, never mind to Blaine. He was doing a great job at being calm.

"Ok, can I have your fiancés name?"

"Oh, right, yes, Blaine Anderson."

"Ok, let me just get his file up here," Kurt could hear typing and clicking, "Ok, so you say Blaine has had an episode of incontinence of his bladder?"

"Yes."

"And this has been the first time? No urine leakage prior to this incident?"

"No, no…this was the first time." Kurt only knew this because he was the one who helped Blaine with changing everyday.

"Ok, and the pain, can he rate the pain on a scale of 1-10, 1 being no pain and 10 being the worst pain ever."

Kurt relayed the scaling system to Blaine.

"Um, when Im just sitting here, its probably a 5 or 6, what it normally is, when I tried to stand or when you picked me up, it was like an 8 or 9."

Kurt told Dr. Smith.

"Ok, so substantial pain then." Kurt heard more clicking, "Im going to recommend that you bring Blaine in. This could be nothing, but Id like to run a few tests just to make sure. Do you have a car?"

"No…we usually just take the subway when we go there."

"Ok, well its obviously that hes not going to be able to walk, so Im going to send an ambulette to pick you and Blaine up, I think it will be the best way to get him here safely and with the least amount of pain."

"Ok…um…weve never had to do that before."

"Its nothing to worry about, its basically just a way to transport patients when they need to be helped to move and they can also bring a stretcher so he can be comfortable, ok?" Dr. Smith reassured him.

"Ok."

"Im putting in the order now, they should call you when they are there so you can let them in. Well start Blaine on some medicine for the pain when he gets here and begin testing. Hopefully, by that time Dr. Riker is here and he can oversee what is happening."

"Thank you."

When Kurt hung up, he filled Blaine in on what he hadnt heard and then got them both ready. The transportation staff was as careful with Blaine as possible, trying to make the move from the couch to the stretcher as easy as possible, but it still broke Kurts heart every time he cried out in pain.

Dr. Smith had been right, by the time Blaine was hooked up to an IV with pain medicine and being rolled off for a full body scan, Dr. Riker had already been in the room to greet them.

Four hours after they had gotten to the hospital, Dr. Riker walked into Blaines room. Kurt stared at the man who always had a smile on his face, but now didnt even attempt a grimace. His heart sank and he felt Blaines hand find his.

"The results are back from your testing." They watched as he sat down on one of the chairs next to the bed. Kurt sat down as well, but on the edge of the bed next to Blaine.

"What did it show? Did the tumor grow again?" Blaine asked, "Ive only been on the new meds for about a month, are they not working already?" Kurt squeezed his hand and he stopped his questions.

"The tumor has grown, yes," He cleared his throat a little, "It has most likely pushed up against a nerve that affects your bladder which is why you experienced some incontinence, though it does not appear to have permanently affected any of these nerves."

"Well thats good, right?" Kurt asked confused as to why he seemed so morose, "Is there another treatment Blaine will have to start since the tumor doesnt seem to be responding to this one?"

"Im so sorry to have to tell you this, but through the testing, we have found more tumors. Besides the one located near your spine, that has now grown, we have also found two in your right lung, one in your colon, and another one near the original one."

A buzzing seemed to begin in Kurts ears, "What…what does that mean?" he choked out, squeezing Blaines hand like he would float away if he let up just a little.

"Weve…At this point, we no longer have any viable treatment options."

Blaines hand went limp in Kurts. He looked over and Blaine was white as a sheet.

Kurt looked back up to the doctor, "There has to be something…there have to be studies or surgeries…something!"

"There are always studies that are being conducted that we can look into, however it is in my experience that when a persons cancer has rejected two chemotherapy treatments, there is almost no rate of success with a third or any other form of treatment."

Kurt stood up suddenly, Blaines hand falling limp onto the bed, "So what? Blaine goes home and just dies? Just like that? Sorry, we tried, its time to give up." He was angry, so angry. Dr. Riker didnt cause this, of course he didnt, but he was there and he was in front of Kurt and someone had to pay for this, "What kind of doctor are you?"

Dr. Riker looked up at him, no sign of anger at Kurts outburst, he replied gently, "As I said, I am more than willing to look into what research is out there and to help sign Blaine up for studies if that is the route that you want to go."

"Wait." It was barely above a whisper and neither man in the room seemed to hear him.

"Of course thats what were doing, we cant just give up! He was only diagnosed three months ago! How could we just give up that fast?"

"Wait." He said it louder and this time both men looked at him.

Kurt sat down again, "What is it, honey?"

Blaine looked at the doctor, "You said there is almost no chance that another treatment will help, what are the odds that it will?"

Dr. Riker shook his head a little, "Were talking maybe a 5% chance that it would cure you, possibly a 10% chance that your life expectancy would be longer."

"And," He took a breath, preparing himself to ask the question on his mind, "And what is my life expectancy now…if I do nothing?"

"Its hard to say really, but with the fast progression weve seen so far…maybe 6-8 months, a year if were lucky."

"Well sign up for the studies…right Blaine?" Kurt asked desperately, tears filling up his eyes when Blaine looked at him and he knew what his answer would be, "Blaine, please! You can just stop fighting this!" He begged.

Blaine looked at Dr. Riker, "Could we have some time to discuss this?"

"Of course, take all the time you need." He stood up and excited the room.

Blaine turned back to Kurt and smiled at him softly, his face calm even with tears leaking from his eyes. He held his hand to Kurts face, gently cupping his cheek, and Kurt brought his hand up to hold it there.

"I love you, you know that?"

A sob broke free from Kurt, "Yes." His voice was a whisper.

"Lets spend these next few months together and happy, making memories you can keep with you, instead of ones where I am sick and fighting a losing battle. Lets get married finally; I think weve waited as long as we can."

Kurt laughed a little, but it came out with a sob and sounded particularly sad. He quickly lost any humor, "I cant lose you."

Blaines face crumpled for a moment, but he held the deep hurt and fear in, that would come later, and he shook his head, "Never."

Blaine then pulled Kurt towards him and they wrapped each other up in hard, desperate hugs. Every moment was numbered now. Every memory a keepsake. Now there was an invisible countdown neither could predict.