March 6, 2013, noon
We've Done The Same Thing All Before: Chapter 4: Taking Chances
M - Words: 3,509 - Last Updated: Mar 06, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 16/? - Created: Oct 15, 2012 - Updated: Mar 06, 2013 417 0 0 0 0
A/N: There won’t be a chapter next week, owing to me being away on holiday and internet-less. It’ll be up on the following Thursday. I hope you like this chapter!
Disclaimer: If I owned Glee, there would be 5 or 6 songs in every episode, rather than it drastically switching between 1 and 9.
Chapter Four: Taking Chances.
“... And so now I have to get onto the football team or he’s going to know I lied. Well, Brittany lied.” Kurt was hissing at Mercedes as he explained what had happened the day before, clasping the strap of his bag tightly and glancing around every few seconds to check that no-one was in hearing distance of them.
Mercedes winced in sympathy, and he was glad he’d told her the truth. It was nice to have someone he could be honest with.
“I’m sorry, boo. I think Britney is in dire need of a filter. Or a brain.”
He half-smiled, before sighing. “This is a mess.”
“So, you need to get onto the football team.”
“How am I going to do that?” He challenged. “Walk up to a bunch of guys who frequently toss me in a Dumpster and ask to join them?”
Mercedes looked thoughtful, before inspiration seemed to strike and she glanced down the corridor to where Finn was talking to Quinn, and then looked back at Kurt.
They met each other’s gazes with knowing smirks.
And the best part of this idea was that it gave him a legitimate excuse to talk to Finn.
---
If Kurt had to put up with Rachel’s attitude for one second longer, he was going to slap some sense into her, he decided, watching her storm out of Glee club yet again. Tina deserved the solo, jealous as he may be, and he had to admit that her voice would work well with this song. He smiled at her encouragingly, figuring she’d need it. With a personality like Rachel against you, moral support was needed.
As Schuester dismissed them, seeming optimistic about this song – although no-one else was – Kurt nodded to Mercedes, and called after Finn, pleased to see that his crush responded.
It was bemusing how Finn’s mind flicked to prom, which was nearly two years away, as soon as someone let him know they wanted to ask him something. Maybe Quinn was already on his back about it. Actually, there was no maybe about it. Quinn Fabray always worked hard to get what she wanted.
“-know how important dances are to teen gays.”
The enticing please-give-me-what-I-want smile slipped from his face. “I’m not gay.” His heart raced faster as he denied it, and he shook his head a little. “I just- I needed a favour.”
Finn tilted his head a little and frowned with confusion. Kurt noted that it made him look a little like a lost sheep, but pushed the thought away. “I need to get onto the football team. As kicker.”
To say that Finn looked shocked would be an understatement. “You want to try out for the football team.” He repeated. To Kurt’s surprise, his expression turned thoughtful. “Y’know, that’s not a bad idea. Look- meet me on the field in fifteen, and we’ll practise.” He smiled at Kurt, then left, presumably to change into his football clothes. The boy was obviously enthusiastic about his football.
Kurt stared after him for a moment, before fighting the urge to punch the air in victory. Instead, he called Mercedes.
“Plan get-Kurt-Hummel-onto-the-football-team is officially a go.”
---
“You look happy,” Blaine commented the next morning, as they headed to History together.
Kurt gave a non-committal shrug, while inwardly bouncing up and down with joy. “Yeah, well, I decided to try out for the football team.”
Blaine’s eyebrows went up in shock. “The football team?” He repeated. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean, I’m totally behind you and everything, it’s just... the football team, Kurt?”
“I kind of told my dad that I was already on it. Well, Brittany did.” Kurt explained.
“I thought Brittany was convinced that lying killed unicorns and therefore you should never lie?”
Both of them glanced down the hallway to where the Cheerio in question was standing, chatting to Quinn, who was looking exasperated.
Kurt shrugged, turning back to Blaine. “Who knows what goes through that girl’s head? But anyway, I asked Finn to help me with getting on to the team and he agreed. He said he’d arrange for me to be able to try out on Friday.”
“Two days? Are you sure that’s enough time?” Blaine queried, stepping out of the way of a student who was barrelling down the corridor, probably late for their lesson.
“Finn says I’m pretty good” – and how he’d blushed when Finn had said that – “and the first game is in a couple weeks, so it really has to be now.”
“Oh. Well, good luck.” Blaine offered him a smile. “I’ll come and watch, if you like. For moral support.”
“I’d really appreciate that. Thanks, Blaine.” Kurt smiled at him as they reached their classroom, glad that they sat next to each other in this lesson and so could continue their conversation. “Doesn’t that mean you’ll have to arrange alternative transport home?”
Blaine paused in the act of getting his stationery out of his bag. “Uh, well, my mom gives me a lift, so I just have to ask her to pick me up half an hour later.” He glanced at Kurt curiously before resuming his actions.
Kurt watched him rooting around for the homework and nodded slightly. Was this a good time to ask about Blaine’s family? “So, uh, what’s your mom like?” He asked casually, looking quickly at the front of the classroom to check that the teacher hadn’t yet arrived – she was usually late, so he wasn’t surprised that she wasn’t yet there – before focussing his attention back on Blaine.
Who was giving him a strange look, which was hardly surprising. He’d never had the courage to ask about Blaine’s personal life before. “Uh, she’s cool, I guess. Kinda quiet, sweet, can be pretty oblivious, but she’s caring.”
Kurt snorted, and then rolled his eyes at Blaine’s frown. “You definitely take after her.”
He thought he heard Blaine mutter “good” under his breath, but in the next second, Blaine asked “So, what about your dad? What’s he like?” and he was sufficiently distracted that he didn’t think to wonder why Blaine was glad about that.
“He’s your average dad, I guess. He owns a garage- Hummel’s Tires and Lube.”
Blaine snorted a little, and Kurt raised an eyebrow at him, curious, which elicited a blush. “Uh, never mind, sorry.” He paused, staring down at his desk for a moment. “So... your mom, is she-?”
“Dead. Yes.” The way he said it sounded unfeeling, but that was the way he’d learnt to deal with it, and he winced slightly, knowing he came off as uncaring when he threw up his walls like that.
Blaine seemed to understand, though, and he offered a sympathetic smile before turning to the front as their teacher walked in.
Kurt smiled quietly down at his desk, glad he had a friend like Blaine.
---
Kurt Hummel was nervous, which was something that didn’t happen that often. Finn didn’t seem nervous- well, until Kurt turned to go and get his music. And then he freaked.
“If you do it your way, they’re gonna kill you!”
That was a slight exaggeration, Kurt felt, as he ignored Finn’s advice, retorted sharply, and then fetched his music. He reached Ken as the man finished screaming at his team, and ignored the snickers from the footballers as he announced that he was auditioning.
As he danced his way up to the ball, he was in the zone, unaware of the football team, and concentrated on kicking it as if it was part of his routine, part of the choreography.
He watched the ball fly through the posts, satisfied with himself as he heard some of the members of the football team dropping their helmets, and he couldn’t help smiling as he heard clapping and realised that it was Blaine. He smirked, giving the football guys a royal wave as the coach announced that he was their new kicker. None of them looked too pleased.
As he walked away from the tryout, he waved to Blaine, jogging over to him.
“That was awesome, Kurt! You got on, right?” Blaine enthused, smiling at him.
“Yes. Admittedly, I’m still not sure of most of the rules of football, but I know that I kick the ball when they tell me to.” He shrugged, giving him a smile. “And thank you for turning up to watch.”
“I could teach you, if you wanted. I actually like football.” Blaine admitted. “And hey, what are friends for?”
“Don’t worry, it’s not something I need to know.” Kurt blinked at him, slightly surprised by this. Blaine liked disco and movies and art, not football. Huh, you learnt something new every day. “Well, you’d better be coming to the match, then.” He told him, as they both set off for the car park. Since Blaine was getting a lift home, it seemed natural that he should walk him to his car. He’d be able to meet Blaine’s mom, for a short moment at least.
“Of course I am. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t turn up?” Blaine asked, shooting him a smile.
“I guess.” He wasn’t even sure if Mercedes was coming to the match, and she’d been his friend for a lot longer than Blaine had.
They reached the car park, and Blaine waved to a blue Mini, quickening his step slightly. Kurt increased his speed to keep up with him, looking curiously at the woman in the driver’s seat.
She was a small Filipino woman, who smiled widely on seeing the two boys, learning across to open the passenger door. “So, who’s your friend, Blaine?” She asked, smiling up at the two boys.
“Uh, mom, this is Kurt.” Blaine gestured to Kurt, a slightly uneasy expression on his face which his mom didn’t seem to notice.
“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs Anderson.” Kurt told her formally.
“It’s nice to meet you too, Kurt.” She beamed at him, before glancing at her watch. “Oh, Blaine, honey, we need to get going.”
Blaine turned to Kurt. “I’ll see you on Monday. Remember to practise for the big game!” He waved as he climbed into his car, and continued waving until he was out of sight.
Kurt waved back and watched him go with a fond smile.
---
It was 20 minutes before Blaine’s mom started a conversation. “So, Kurt seems like a nice kid.” She offered, glancing at him.
He swallowed and nodded. “He is, mom.”
“Does he... know?” She asked delicately, eyes fixed on the road ahead.
He gritted his teeth and resisted the urge to scream his answer at her. “No, I haven’t told him that I’m gay yet.”
They drove on in silence for a few minutes before she spoke again. “You know I support you, Blaine. It’s just that your father and I don’t want any trouble like there was at Westerville. I know you say Kurt’s a nice boy, but... well, that’s what you said about Brad, dear.”
Resolve softened, he nodded. “I know, mom. But I can make my own decisions now, okay? I’m a big boy now.”
“A big boy who still likes Katy Perry?” She teased, and he almost sighed with relief at the fact that she’d stopped asking about his school life. He didn’t need her knowing that he’d made no friends apart from Kurt. Even if Kurt’s friends were nice to him, it didn’t mean they liked him. And he was so far off the radar of the popular kids that they didn’t even bully him, which was both a blessing and a curse. He hated seeing Kurt bullied every day when he could do nothing.
“Blaine?” His mom probed gently, and he started slightly.
“Sorry, what did you say? Oh, right, Katy Perry.” He switched on the car radio, changing it to play the CD, and closed his eyes as he began singing along to I Kissed a Girl.
Maybe he should admit to Kurt that he was good at singing. It was just another thing to add to the growing list of confessions he’d have to make.
---
It was time for the football match, and Kurt had never been more freaked out in his life.
“Are you nervous?” Blaine asked, and Kurt shot him a look in response. “You’re going to be fine, Kurt. Don’t sweat it.”
Easier said than done, Kurt thought dismally.
“Good luck.” Blaine clapped him on the shoulder. “Go get ‘em.”
He’d changed in the toilets earlier, needing privacy and knowing the guys weren’t too thrilled at the idea of him being in the room with them while they were changing.
Taking a deep breath, he stepped out onto the field, staring at the crowd. That was an awful lot of people that he might be disappointing.
Walking quickly, he headed over to the bench to watch the game and wait for his cue. Spotting his dad, he grinned and waved, jumping up and down and feeling a massive sense of relief. He’d only joined because of his father, and he couldn’t be more relieved that it hadn’t all been for nought.
Though he was still unsure of the more complicated rules, he understood the basic principle of the game, and even if he was confused, he could still stare at Finn Hudson for the majority of the game without anyone being freaked out by it. As the quarterback, Finn was being stared at by a lot of people.
It was toward the end of the match that Kurt began to feel a slow sense of creeping disappointment. There were only a few minutes left, and he hadn’t done anything yet, and the guys had obviously decided not to do the dance.
As the timer ticked down the final ten seconds, he breathed a shaky sigh and chanced a look at his father, who seemed disenchanted. Great. Now he was going to have to face his dad’s disappointment.
Hearing a shout, he turned towards the game and found Finn calling a time-out. Sitting up a little straighter, he glanced at the time. Two seconds to go? What was Finn doing?
After what looked like a fierce conference between the players, Finn nodded to the sound guys, and Kurt’s smile nearly split his face as he watched the boys begin the dance to Single Ladies. He was proud, not of them, but of himself.
Over the last couple weeks, he’d learnt some important things about himself. He’d learnt that he could be whoever he wanted to be, and that if he tried hard enough, he could get several very masculine guys to dance to a female-empowerment song in the middle of a football game. Most importantly, he’d learnt that he needed to true to himself.
And the only way he could do that was to come out.
It wasn’t that he felt like he was being forced out; he was ready, now. Ready to tell his father that he was gay and accept the consequences, whatever they may be.
Noticing his cue, he stood up, slowly walking out onto the field. The coach gave him what was probably meant to be an encouraging speech, but instead made him feel a little bit like he was about to enter into battle. He quipped about needing to pee, a joke Ken didn’t appreciate, and then stepped out into position, waiting for the music.
Glancing into the crowd, he saw Burt, but his eyes kept searching until he saw Blaine, who stood a little along from Tina and Mercedes. Their eyes met and Blaine smiled at him.
The music started and he danced the quickest routine to Single Ladies he’d ever done, and kicked the ball.
It took him a few seconds to register what had happened, but when it hit home, he grinned. He’d won the game. And then he found himself hoisted onto the shoulders of the guys who hated him most, but for now, he really didn’t care, and he was pretty sure they didn’t, either. He waved to his dad brightly, grinning wildly.
He’d won the game. And it felt like a small victory, not just for the team, but for him.
And with that, he felt like he could do anything.
---
Kurt stared into the mirror, hearing his father coming down the stairs, and steeling himself for the moment that he knew was coming.
Hearing his dad say that he was proud of him would have made him smile, had he not been bracing for what he needed to say next. The speech was something he’d planned on the way home. It described how he was feeling, and the soul-revealing epiphany he’d had the other night, and he was glad that he managed to get it out without stumbling over his words or bursting into tears.
Before he started playing football, he’d thought it would be just another way of hiding his gayness from his dad. Instead, it had given him the strength to come out.
“I know.” Was all that his dad said at first in answer to his speech, and it was all at once the best news he’d ever heard and kind of an anti-climax, but he took it.
“Really?”
“I’ve known ever since you were 3. All you wanted for your birthday was a pair of sensible heels.” Burt explained.
That sounded like him, and he laughed a little.
“I guess I’m not exactly in love with the idea” – his pulse quickened a little, because that was not what he wanted to hear – “but if that’s who you are, there’s nothing I can do about it. And I love you just as much. Okay?”
He’d never appreciated and loved his dad as much as he did in that moment. The pat on the shoulder didn’t seem like enough, so he threw himself forward to hug Burt. The Hummel men weren’t very good at expressing emotion, so moments like this were rare, but he always knew that his dad loved him and had his back. Now, he had reassurance that his father truly loved him no matter what.
“Thanks for telling me, Kurt.”
Kurt sat back down, feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders.
“You’re sure, right?” Burt asked, pausing at the foot of the stairs.
“Yeah, dad, I’m sure.” Kurt responded, unable to stop himself having a moment of panic wondering if his father was going to suddenly change his mind.
“Just checking.”
Burt left, and he listened to his father walking upstairs.
So, out of the three most important people in his life, that was two down.
Just one to go.
---
“Hey, Blaine.” Kurt hovered next to his locker, and Blaine looked up with a smile.
“Oh, hey, Kurt!” Blaine greeted him. “I didn’t see you after the match, so- congratulations.”
“Thanks.” Kurt shifted, looking uncomfortable. “I need to tell you something, okay? And- you might hate me for it, but please don’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t.” Blaine promised, frowning a little at him. “And I could never hate you, you know that.”
Kurt glanced around and leant in slightly. “Blaine... I know I should’ve told you sooner, and I’m sorry, but I wasn’t ready and- and now I am, and it’s something about me that isn’t going to change, and now I’m rambling.” He took a deep breath. “I-I’m gay.”
“Oh.” Was all Blaine could think to say.
A slightly panicked expression appeared on Kurt’s face. “Oh?”
“No, that’s not- no. Kurt, you’re my best friend, and you being gay doesn’t change anything.” He studied Kurt for a moment, waiting for the smile, before hugging him on impulse, squeezing him tightly for a second before letting him go. “I’ll never hate you, ever, okay? I promise.”
Kurt smiled at him, a real, genuine smile, one he didn’t see very often from Kurt. “Thank you, Blaine.”
“You’re welcome.” A thought occurred to him. “Did you tell Mercedes? Is that why she forgave you for the carwash fiasco?”
Kurt winced slightly. “Let’s not speak of that.”
As Blaine readily changed the topic, chatting on about silly topics, he thought about how he now knew that he’d have at least one friend if he came out. But now seemed like the wrong time, and in truth, after Westerville, he wasn’t ready.
With Kurt by his side, though, he didn’t think it’d take too long until he was ready.
A/N: I really love Sue’s Corner at the end of Preggers. I don’t know, it’s actually really inspirational.