March 6, 2013, noon
We've Done The Same Thing All Before: Chapter 10: Crush
M - Words: 3,663 - Last Updated: Mar 06, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 16/? - Created: Oct 15, 2012 - Updated: Mar 06, 2013 283 0 0 0 0
A/N: Hi, sorry this is late, I’ve been struggling with this chapter for some reason. I hope you enjoy it, anyway!
Disclaimer: Do I own Glee? It’s all coming back to me now... no, I don’t own it.
Chapter Ten: Crush.
“This is so boring.” Kurt moaned, dropping his notebook and lying back on Blaine’s bed, arm draped over his eyes. The very picture of someone who was tired of working on a school project.
Blaine glanced up at him from where he was sitting at the end of his bed, legs swinging slightly. “You can’t be bored of it until we’ve finished.” He told Kurt, in good humour.
“How are you so chipper? Are you never in a bad mood?” Kurt asked grumpily, obviously fed-up.
“I actually like English, so I don’t mind.” Blaine told him. Well, that and he enjoyed spending time with Kurt so much that he would’ve endured hours of Algebra, which he hated, and he still would’ve felt optimistic and happy.
Kurt groaned. “If I never see another book again, it’ll be too soon. I’m giving up reading forever.” He vowed dramatically.
Blaine couldn’t help but laugh, before handing Kurt his notebook. “Here, we’ll swap and read through each other’s work.” He told him, wanting to give his friend a break.
“Ugh.” Kurt groaned again, giving Blaine the pages he’d been working on.
“The good news is, I think we’re nearly done.” Blaine told him, hoping some good news would switch the mood up from ‘half-dead exhaustion’. “That’s the section on the Gothic elements done, anyway, so we only need to finish up the section on love.” Blaine read through the sheet they’d been given, mentally checking off everything on the list, and feeling quite proud of their efforts.
Kurt perked up a little, moving his hand from in front of his face. “Really? Thank God. If I have to listen to Cathy whine on about how hard her life is one more time, I might go crazy.”
Blaine gave him a sympathetic look, before glancing at the clock and sighing slightly. “It’s 8PM; you need to get home soon. C’mon, ten more minutes and then we can go and eat the cookies that mom made, and then we’ll get you home.”
“Oh, thank God, the smell of delicious, warm chocolate chip cookies has been driving me crazy for the last half an hour.” Kurt had sat up and was staring at the door with what looked like desperation in his eyes.
Blaine laughed and patted Kurt’s foot, before crossing his legs and reading through the pages, while Kurt did the same next to him.
It was funny, he mused. His mom didn’t often make cookies. She was usually too busy planning lessons for her school kids. But he guessed she wanted to make a good impression on Kurt, or something. Or maybe she was just in a really good mood.
Ten minutes later, he looked up and nodded. “It looks great. Although you did write ‘cookies’ where I think you meant to write ‘Catherine’.” He added, with a smirk. They’d had pizza earlier, but that had been a while ago, and the scent of cookies was enough to drive anyone to distraction.
Kurt snatched his paper back, looking embarrassed, grabbing his pen and adjusting the word. “There. And it’s totally your fault for depriving me of cookies. Let’s go eat cookies!”
Blaine laughed and uncrossed his legs, getting up. He couldn’t help but marvel at how easy Kurt was with him now. When they’d first met, Kurt had been so much more guarded. But over time, he’d let his shields down. And Blaine was really glad he had. “C’mon, then.” He grabbed Kurt’s hand and pulled him up from the bed, trotting downstairs with him. “Hi, mom!” He chirped as they reached the kitchen, letting go of Kurt’s hand so he could grab himself a cookie, and leaning against the counter while he ate it.
Kurt took one, too, at Blaine’s mom’s encouraging smile. After taking a bit and politely swallowing, he smiled at her. “These are really good. Thank you.”
“Mom makes great cookies.” Blaine nodded, and she smiled at them both in thanks. “Hey, mom, can you take Kurt home in a minute?”
“Sure, baby. I’ll just go find my keys.” She moved, heading into the lounge to look for them. Her main talent in life was losing her car keys. It was a wonder Blaine wasn’t late for school. It was actually a wonder that they ever managed to leave the house. She really needed to keep them in one place.
“Thanks, Julia.” Kurt called after her. It had taken him a while, but he was at least comfortable enough to address her by her first name now.
Blaine finished his cookie and then grinned at Kurt. “I’ll sort out the project tonight. It should only take one more session to finish it.”
Kurt nodded. “Yeah, I think we’re nearly done. Ours is going to be the best in the class.” He added with confidence.
“Obviously.” Blaine smiled at him. He was quite confident, too. English was one of his strengths.
“Ready to go, boys?” His mom asked, coming back in with her keys.
“Yup!” Blaine chirped, glancing Kurt over to check he had everything. Although it was he who’d nearly forgotten his shoes last time he’d been to Kurt’s. But they weren’t mentioning that incident.
Once they were in the car, Blaine glanced back at Kurt as he remembered something. “Hey, aren’t you performing your ballad to Finn tomorrow?”
“Yes, why?” Kurt asked warily, probably guessing what was on Blaine’s mind.
“Do you wanna practise now? I think we have Olivia Newton-John somewhere in the car. Mom really likes her.” Blaine opened the glove compartment, rummaging around and making a face of disgust at the amount of sweet wrappers mixed in with the CDs. “Found it!” He announced triumphantly, shoving the CD in and turning to grin at Kurt, who was giving him a resigned look. Well, it was only fair if Kurt had to sing in front of Blaine’s mom, too. Maybe she’d be so impressed by his talent that she’d decide that Blaine sucked at singing and stop embarrassing him in front of his friends.
“Oh, so you’re a singer too, Kurt?” His mom asked politely, though there was a small frown furrowing her brows. Blaine figured it was from what he’d said about the song being for Finn, and inwardly smacked himself. He was trying to get her to warm to Kurt, not to dislike him.
“Yes, I’m in Glee club. Our assignment is to sing a song to our partners.” Kurt told her. The frown didn’t go away. The word ‘partners’ probably hadn’t helped.
“Yeah, Finn sang one for his girlfriend.” Blaine added, seizing on the moment to try and gain his mom’s approval of Kurt.
Her expression cleared. “Oh! Well, that’s lovely. Blaine, maybe you should join this club.” She added, with a smile, clearly trying to embarrass him.
Blaine shrugged, uncomfortable with the topic, and muttered something incoherently. The song started playing before she could tell him off for being rude, and he settled back in his chair to listen to Kurt sing.
Kurt took a deep breath and began. “Maybe I hang around here, a little more than I should.”
He’d always loved Kurt’s voice, ever since he’d first persuaded the countertenor to sing for him to practise for the Invitationals. Which had been fantastic, of course. And ever since then, he’d kind of been addicted to Kurt’s voice. His versions were always better than the originals, in Blaine’s opinion.
Seeing him perform a solo in front of the club had been awe-inspiring. If Kurt hadn’t blown the note, he would’ve won by a mile, Blaine had no doubt.
There was just something about Kurt’s voice. He always put so much emotion into what he was singing.
If only the song he was currently singing wasn’t for Finn. It just wasn’t good for Kurt to be in love with someone who couldn’t return his feelings.
“But this feeling doesn’t come along every day.” Kurt sang, the emotion clear in his voice, and Blaine’s heart twisted in his chest.
It was then that the realisation hit him: This wasn’t how most people felt when their best friend was in love. Even if they knew their friend had no chance with their love, they didn’t feel like this.
They didn’t feel jealous. Unhappy for their friend, yes, protective, yes, jealous, no.
He liked Kurt.
Blaine blinked several times, letting this sink in.
Honestly, he felt sick.
You weren’t supposed to crush on your best friend, especially when they were in love with someone else and they were the only person you could talk to about everything and they meant more to you than anyone else and losing them would be awful and, oh God, this was terrible.
Kurt finished his song, putting so much emotion into the words “I honestly love you” that Blaine wanted to find Finn and yell at him for not realising how obvious Kurt was. And ask him how he could not want the beautiful boy who was standing right in front of him. Even if he was straight, surely he could see that Kurt was utterly perfect?
Oh, crap, his mom and Kurt were waiting for a reaction from him about Kurt’s song. He shook himself a little, feeling like an idiot. “Uh, that was great.” He managed, and saw, in the rear-view mirror, Kurt’s smile slip.
“Is it for any particular person, Kurt?” Blaine’s mom asked, after shooting Blaine a frown.
“Finn.” Kurt told her, a little coldly.
She ‘hmm’ed in response.
The rest of the ride took place in an awkward silence. Blaine’s mom was obviously even more uncomfortable with Kurt’s ‘gayness’ than she was with Blaine’s, and Blaine was still reeling from his realisation.
Once they’d dropped Kurt off, his mom berated him for being rude and unsocial. He couldn’t very well tell her the truth, so he told her he was feeling ill, and stared out of the window for the rest of the journey.
How did he always manage to ruin everything good in his life?
---
“So, how did it go with Finn and Quinn?” Blaine asked of the group at large. It was lunchtime, the day after Kurt was supposed to be singing his ballad to Finn. He hadn’t had the chance to ask Kurt how that’d gone, yet. Well, actually he hadn’t given himself the chance to ask Kurt. In all honesty, he’d actually sort of been avoiding Kurt. It was childish, but he just couldn’t face talking to him right now. Not now he’d realised that he’d managed to develop a huge crush on him.
But he could at least ask how the ballad to the couple had gone. They’d been planning to do that after each of them had finished singing their separate ballads.
Artie and Tina both grimaced at the question, and Mercedes shook her head. Kurt glanced at him, but Blaine managed to ignore the questioning expression on his face. Rachel was conspicuously absent.
“Well, the ballad went well, and they seemed to like it. But...” Mercedes told him. She leant in a little, lowering her voice to avoid anyone outside of their group hearing. “Her parents found out, and her dad kicked her out. She’s staying at Finn’s.”
Blaine winced. “Oh, that’s awful.” He couldn’t imagine how awful it would be to actually be thrown out of the house. Though he was pretty sure his dad had come close to throwing him out before, he’d never actually done so.
“And guess what I found out?” She added, glancing around the rest of the group, and leaning in further, indicating that they should as well. They all leant in, curious. “Finn’s not the baby daddy.” She whispered, and they all gasped.
“No way.” Kurt breathed, shocked. “Who, then?”
“Puck.” Mercedes revealed.
Weren’t Finn and Puck best friends? How could someone do that to their best friend? Blaine wondered, shocked.
Then again, Brad had been his best friend.
He pushed that thought away and focussed on the here and now.
Tina shook her head. “Isn’t she supposed to be the President of the Celibacy Club?”
Kurt had a thoughtful look on his face. “What’s Finn going to think?”
Mercedes held her finger up. “No. We’re not telling Finn. Quinn’s chosen him to be the baby’s father, and we have to respect that.”
Kurt sank back into his chair, looking sulky. Blaine wanted to give him a sympathetic smile, but instead stared down at his food, pushing his pasta around his plate.
“So we can’t tell Rachel, then.” Artie murmured, and Mercedes laughed, maybe a little cruelly. But it was true enough, Blaine supposed. Rachel would do anything to get Finn single so she could have him to herself.
“What about Santana and Brittany?” Kurt asked. “They deserve to know. They’re Quinn’s friends. And they can help make sure that Rachel and Finn don’t find out.”
Tina nodded in agreement with him. “They may be gossipy, but I don’t think they’d gossip about this.”
“Okay, but no-one else can know. Agreed?” Mercedes waited until they’d all nodded, then sighed. “This baby drama is getting ridiculous. I only hope nothing else happens to make all this worse.”
Blaine couldn’t help but agree with her.
“How did Quinn’s parents find out, anyway?” Artie asked, frowning. They all looked at Kurt, on the presumption that he’d know since he’d been spending so much time with Finn.
“I... urged Finn to tell them.” Kurt admitted. At the looks on their faces, he defended himself quickly. “He’d already decided to, I just gave him the courage to do it.”
“So he just... told them?” Tina looked a little impressed.
“He sang to Quinn. You’re Having My Baby. The Fabrays didn’t take it very well.” Kurt said, which was probably the biggest understatement of the century.
“I think I speak for everyone at this table when I ask you never to give straight guys relationship advice ever again.” Artie told Kurt solemnly, and they all erupted into laughter, even Kurt.
---
The next day, Blaine was still avoiding Kurt. And when he did spend time with Kurt, he was acting really off. He was certain that Kurt had noticed. Tina definitely had. She’d asked him, with concern, if he and Kurt had had a fight. When he’d brushed it off, he may have snapped a little more than he should have, and she’d looked kind of hurt.
Just another person to apologise to.
When he walked into the cafeteria at lunchtime, the usual gang were all sitting together, but Rachel was sitting alone. And she looked pretty upset.
This was turning into something of a habit, Blaine mused, walking over to her. Well, Rachel looking upset wasn’t a habit, as such, though it did occur rather regularly. But talking to unhappy-looking girls seemed to be turning into a habit. Maybe he should try fixing his own problems, instead of worrying about everyone else’s.
“Hey, Rachel.” He greeted her, sitting down next to her, a little wary. Though, in all honesty, this seemed like she was genuinely upset, rather than being overdramatic about some tiny thing. “Are you okay?”
She didn’t answer for a few moments, then: “I’m an idiot.” She snuck a glance at him.
“No, you’re not.” He assured her. “What happened?”
“I chased after Mr Schuester like a love-struck fool. And I’m just so embarrassed. He hates me now, his wife hates me, and I’m just a complete idiot.” She explained in a rush, eyes welling up.
Blaine was stunned for a moment – did the drama ever stop at this school? – but reached out and touched her shoulder. “Hey, hey. It’s gonna be okay. Mr Schuester won’t hate you. I mean, he’s probably been through that before, right? It’ll be fine. And why would you care what his wife thinks of you? You’re never going to see her again, most probably, and her opinion shouldn’t matter to you.”
Rachel blinked at him, only looking a tiny bit reassured.
“What’s really upset you about this?” So maybe he didn’t know her very well, but he knew that Rachel’s boundless optimism meant that she’d be of the firm belief that baking some cookies would get the teacher to forgive her. She’d done it before, after all, and bounced back superbly even after being yelled at from several directions.
“I’m never gonna find love.” She shook her head, looking back down at the table.
That was so ridiculous he wanted to laugh. “Rachel, you’re by no means unlovable, okay? So don’t think that. The right guy is out there, somewhere. And when you find him, he’s going to love everything about you. And he’ll think that you’re really cute when you’re so love-struck. So don’t worry about having crushes, because at the end of the day, they’re just crushes. When you find the One, you’ll know. And so will he.”
It struck him, as Rachel smiled at him with watering eyes and thanked him for being so sweet and understanding, that he should probably take his own advice. Crushes were just crushes.
So he should stop being so overly dramatic about this situation with Kurt, and just be a friend to him while he waited for this crush to go away.
“C’mon, let’s go sit with the others.” He told Rachel, standing and offering his hand to her.
And the smiles from the rest of the group, including Kurt, when he and Rachel sat down with them, were enough to convince him that he’d been right.
A crush wasn’t the end of the world. He’d be okay.
---
“Have you noticed anything... odd about Rachel recently?” Kurt asked Blaine carefully, as they left English. Mercedes was still inside the classroom, talking to their teacher.
Blaine waved goodbye to Rachel, since she was bouncing up and down waving to him and obviously wanting him to respond before she went to her next lesson, and then turned to frown at Kurt. “How do you mean, odd?”
It was a few days after the whole crush fiasco, and he’d calmed down completely. So what if he got butterflies in his stomach when he first saw Kurt every day, and couldn’t stop smiling when on the phone to him? So what if he thought about him a lot more than he should? It was just a crush, and it would go away. He’d had crushes before.
So everything had gone back to normal, and he’d apologised to Tina, though her knowing smile had worried him.
“I mean...” Kurt stared after the brunette girl as she walked away. “She’s usually all over Finn, but ever since Ballad week, she’s been... well, not.”
“But that’s a good thing.” Blaine pointed out.
“No, I meant, she’s been acting more like...” Kurt stared at him for a moment, then nodded. “You’re right, I guess.” At that point, Mercedes emerged from the classroom. “C’mon, Cedes, time for History.” He hooked his arm through hers and dragged her away.
Blaine stared after them, thoroughly confused, before heading slowly to Geography, which he shared with Tina.
“What’s up?” She asked, almost the second he sat down next to her.
“Kurt just asked me if there’s anything odd about Rachel.” Blaine began, mind still ticking over what had just happened.
“There are many odd things about Rachel.” Tina responded wryly, getting out her stuff for the lesson.
“No, like... crush-wise. But I don’t know what he means.” Blaine bit his lip. “Do you know what he meant?”
Tina looked blank for a moment, before giggling. “Nope, no clue.” She said innocently, before sitting up and paying attention as their teacher walked in.
Leaving Blaine ever more confused than before.
---
“What was that all about?” Mercedes asked Kurt, the second they were out of earshot of the other two.
“I think Rachel likes Blaine.” Kurt told her, before biting his lip. How was he going to explain that it wouldn’t work out between those two, without revealing Blaine’s secret?
“Really?” Mercedes blinked a few times. “I think you’re right. So... what’s the problem?”
“Uh, Blaine doesn’t like her. She’s not really... his type.” Kurt hedged, not sure how to explain this.
“Does he like Tina?” She asked, eyes widening a little.
“Um... maybe?” Kurt responded, confused. But he supposed that idea made sense. Blaine had been growing closer to Tina recently, and she was a perfectly sweet girl. In fact, he’d probably have guessed that Blaine liked Tina, had it not been for the fact that he knew Blaine was gay.
Mercedes smiled.
“No interfering.” Kurt warned her. “We don’t need any more teenage pregnancies.”
“I wasn’t going to interfere. But for the record, they’d be really cute together.” Mercedes told him.
Kurt wasn’t sure how to respond to that. They probably would, he mused. In a way, it was rather unfortunate that Blaine was gay.
... did Blaine have any crushes? He’d never really thought to ask, somehow. Then again, things had been a bit weird between them for a while, after Kurt had visited his house. He’d thought about it afterwards and realised that it was probably how open he’d been about his crush on Finn while in the presence of Julia. It had already been hinted that she wasn’t exactly happy with the idea of homosexuality, and he’d been fully flaunting it. So that must have been why Blaine was weird with him for a while. But they’d gone back to normal a few days later, so Blaine must’ve gotten over it.
Either way, he was glad they were okay again now.