You are married to Blaine Devon Anderson.

Kurt had no idea how he made it back to their apartment. He just knew that one second he was still staring at that screen, and the next, Alex was guiding him through the front door to sit on the couch in the living room.

His brain was buzzing. He heard the same words over and over until he felt like hugging his knees to his chest and rocking back and forth. How could this be happening? Was this some kind of dream that felt exceedingly real? Had the stress of the wedding and work finally broken him? Was he having feverish dreams due to wedding jitters?

Anything seemed possible. Anything, except the one thing that was apparently true.

Alexandre's green eyes were suddenly in front of him. His fiancé had sat on the coffee table to face him, and Kurt blinked at him stupidly.

“I assume from your reaction that you didn't know anything about this,” Alex finally said, and Kurt was sure those were the first words he had uttered since this whole mess had started.

“Of course I didn't know about it!” Kurt dropped his face in his hands. “Oh my god, I cannot be married to him. This isn't happening…”

“So you and Blaine didn't secretly elope? You didn't decide to do something crazy when you were still together and then just…?”

“No!” Kurt interrupted. He felt sick. What did any of this mean? “Alex, please, I swear…”

“Kurt, I'm really trying very hard to stay calm here, but I have to be honest, I'm not very happy,” Alex admitted, nostrils flaring a bit.

Kurt gaped at him in disbelief. “You can't be serious. You really think I wouldn't tell you if I had been married before? I'm trying to marry you, Alex! Doesn't that tell you anything?”

“When it comes to you and Blaine, Kurt, I'm not sure of anything at all,” Alex retorted, making Kurt freeze motionless. His fiancé stood, too anxious to stay seated any longer. He began pacing across the living room, like a caged lion, as Kurt watched him. “Blaine's always been this… this cloud, hanging over our heads.”

“What are you talking about? I never even talk about him!” Kurt exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air in frustration.

“Exactly! He's this huge taboo! No one can even mention his name or you go crazy! You went all pale when that lady said his name!” Alex seldom raised his voice, unless he was particularly upset about something, and now he was shouting. This wasn't a good sign.

“Well, excuse me if I went into shock while trying to understand how it can be possible that I'm married to a guy I haven't seen in a fucking decade!” Kurt screeched hysterically, feeling all his anxiety pouring out of him. He didn't want to take it out on Alex, but he just didn't know how to deal with this. “What are you trying to say here, Alex? Are you implying that I knew about this and I've been lying to you all along? Do you think I'm pulling your leg here? Do you think this is some kind of joke? I'm not laughing!”

“What do you want me to think, Kurt?” Alex asked, sounding furious and defeated at the same time. His accent always got thicker when he was emotional. “Do you actually think I'm not aware that I'm filling in for Blaine? Do you think I don't know that if he hadn't broken your heart, you would be marrying him instead of me? Do you think I haven't noticed that your father still has pictures of the two of you together all over the house? How do you think I feel when I go visit my future in-laws and see pictures of you and your ex-boyfriend on the mantel? Especially when there aren't any of us together, not even from the holidays we spent with your family? Do you honestly think I don't know that I'm a replacement?”

“Alex,” Kurt choked on the name, suddenly feeling tired and sad. “Do you really think that? Sweetheart, no. I love you, and I'm marrying you because you're the man I want to be with. You're not a replacement…”

“It feels like it, Kurt,” Alexandre replied bitterly. He dropped down on a chair. “I know no one can ever compete with a first love, because first loves are unforgettable. But I was hoping I could make you happy enough for you not to need him.”

“I don't need him. I need you,” Kurt dropped to his knees on the floor in front of him, resting his head on his lap and holding his hand. “He broke my heart. He had a chance, and he lost it. It hurt, and it hurt for a very long time, but when you came along… Alex, you're the only one for me now. Don't doubt that. Please, don't ever doubt that.”

Alex ran his fingers through Kurt's hair gently. His voice sounded tinny when he finally spoke. “I believe you. I'm sorry, mon ange. I… I just freaked out.”

“It's alright,” Kurt reassure him, looking up at him. “I'll figure out what to do. I'll fix this. I promise.”

“In time for the wedding?” Alex asked, uncertainly.

Kurt nodded with determination. He wouldn't let the pain from the past dictate his life anymore. He had let it affect him for a very long time, and he had managed to push through it years ago. He didn't need to feel like this again. “Of course.”

*

Alex kissed his cheek before walking out the front door. He had said he needed some air and some time alone and Kurt had understood completely. They didnt want to fight – this was an obstacle, nothing more. They needed to remember that and keep going.

As soon as the door was closed behind Alex, Kurt walked into their bedroom and sat on the bed, letting out a long slow breath. He was confused and, if he had to be honest, a little desperate. How had this happened? And, more importantly, how was he going to fix this?

Blaine Anderson. He hadnt allowed himself to think about him in so many years, even if the name and the boy it belonged to crept into his memories every now and then anyway. Kurt had loved him more than he had ever loved anyone; he had pictured their life together; he had shared laughter and tears with him, frustrations and joy, failures and successes... and then it had all ended with four painful words.

I was with someone.

Kurt had met Blaine during his junior year of high school, at one of the lowest points in his life. He was bullied, miserable, lonely, and vulnerable, and there was suddenly a boy from a rival choir who danced, sang and gave him courage. Later, Kurt would discover that Blaine was a little broken himself, but that only made him love him even more – Blaine had put aside his own pain and doubts to help him when he needed support just as much. Kurt fell in love with him at first sight. Blaine was an attractive boy with dark curly hair constantly styled with gel, and a charming smile that made Kurts heart flutter. Blaine had grabbed his hand and that had been enough for Kurt to fall.

After a few months of friendship and doubts, they got together, and the moment they kissed for the first time had felt like they were finally meeting their soul mates, like suddenly, between them, they held every answer to every question in the universe. Blaine was warm and gentle, and Kurt had so much love and sweetness to give, that no one had wanted until that moment, pushing it back towards him when he offered it, rejecting him and his heart. But Blaine accepted everything he had to give, and gave it right back, showering Kurt with his affection and his tenderness.

They were still together when Kurt graduated and moved to New York. Blaine had remained in Lima for his final year of high school while Kurt tried to find his way in the big city. He was submerged into the rush of New York, with a brand new internship and new exciting people to meet every day, and then, out of nowhere and during his first visit, Blaine was tearing his dream into pieces.

I was with someone.

Kurt stood and walked from the bed to the closet in unsteady feet. Remembering those awful words coming out of Blaines mouth always left him feeling weak and uneasy. Everything had changed after that... Kurt had been hurt and confused for so long...

In the back of his closet, behind boxes of out of season boots and old Vogue magazines, there was a wooden box covered in dust. He hadnt looked through it in years.

Kurt blew on the lid to disperse the dust, his eyes fixed on the initials carved inside a heart: K&B. Everything that was them, whatever remained of what they had once had, was inside this old box. It was sad to think that their entire relationship could fit into a small box. Kurt had once thought it would be the first of many, that they would have mementos of what they were everywhere around them. A whole house full of memories and promises.

He had been such a fool.

Kurt sat on the floor with his back against the wall and the box on his lap, not sure if looking through it would be a good idea. In the end, he took a deep breath and forced himself to face what he had been running away from for almost a decade.

Kurt felt his chest constricting painfully as soon as he opened the lid and was immediately staring at Blaines face. There was a stack of photographs on top of everything else, thrown in there hastily after the break up, when Kurt couldnt deal with seeing his ex-boyfriends smiling face on every surface of his bedroom. The top one had always been one of his favorite ones, taken the summer after Kurts graduation. They had gone to a pool party at one of their friends houses, and they had pressed together and smiled happily when Finn raised the camera to take their picture, with their sun-kissed skin glowing under the sun. Blaines hair, usually glued to his skull with gel, was wet and wildly curling around his handsome face. His caramel eyes seemed to soak all the sunlight and Kurt could remember, as if it had been just yesterday, how happy they were together, how simple the world seemed when he was with the boy he had thought he would spend the rest of his life with.

Blaines laugh echoed around the backyard as he leaned against the edge of the pool, looking up at Kurt through his sinfully-long eyelashes.

"Come on in, Kurt! Whats the point in coming to a pool party if youre not going to swim a little?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I dont want to get sunburnt. You know I have very sensitive skin..."

"Yeah, I do," Blaine said cheekily.

"Oh shut up," Kurt scoffed.

"Please, Kurt? I just want to swim with my beautiful boyfriend," Blaine looked at him coyly and with a sweet smile, and Kurt knew he was done for. He was never able to say no to him when he did that. And Blaine knew it.

With another eye-roll, Kurt sighed. "Fine, Ill see if Rachel has some sunscreen I can borrow..."

Blaines smile was so bright that Kurt felt his heart melting inside his chest. He was so in love with this boy...

Kurt bit his lip and put the pictures aside, unable to face looking through all of them. He found an old t-shirt next, balled up and thrown inside the box as hastily as the pictures. He had borrowed it from Blaines dresser the night before he moved to New York. Kurt had lost count of how many nights he had worn it to bed, sighing in contentment when he imagined he could still smell his boyfriend. It had been almost as good as being in bed with him, enveloped in his arms, when the distance felt like too much, and he needed something to cling to. Blaine had taken one of his scarves, for the same reason, and he had caught him playing with it or wearing it while they were on Skype plenty of times.

Kurt resisted the urge to press the t-shirt to his face and inhale deeply, as he had done so many other times. It wouldn't only be pointless – Blaine's scent had vanished long ago – but it would also be stupid. He didn't need him; didn't need the memories, either. They were all tainted with heartache and disappointment.

Putting the t-shirt aside, Kurt glanced into the box again. There was a stack of letters and little notes, held together with a blue ribbon. Every single note Blaine had passed to him between classes, every little love confession written in napkins from their favorite coffee shop, every letter Blaine had written when he felt particularly inspired was there. Kurt remembered opening his locker to get his books and finding a new letter waiting for him. He had been so happy back then, so filled to bursting with love…

Before he could stop himself, Kurt was untying the ribbon and opening the letters to scan through them, one by one. Some words and sentences seemed to pop out of the pages before his eyes.

… no one's ever made me feel the way you do…

… even though my father keeps snorting every time I say it, you are the love of my life, Kurt, and he'll have to accept it…

Last night was wonderful. When you touch me, it's like the world melts away from around me and…

… and I'll always be with you to remind you of how amazing you are…

… but let's save that for when we get married. Mr. and Mr. Hummel-Anderson…

Kurt's breath stuttered and his chest tightened painfully. How was it possible that the same boy who had looked at him like he hung the moon and the stars had broken him in so many pieces? All that love that Blaine had claimed to feel… where was the love when he let someone else touch him and ruin what they had?

Kurt closed the box abruptly, putting it on the bed. Why was he dwelling on the past when what he needed to do was to focus on his future? He needed to find a way to fix this. Wondering why Blaine had cheated on him was pointless – he had put that behind him long ago.

But there was one thing from the past that Kurt couldn't ignore, couldn't stop wondering about. How was it possible that they were married? Kurt was absolutely sure he would remember getting married, especially since he had been looking forward to it since he was three years old. He hadn't seen Blaine since their break-up, except for that one day when they…

Oh. Oh. Well, that sort of made sense, didn't it?

It had been seven years ago. All the boys from the New Directions were getting together for Mike Chang's bachelor party – he and Tina had reunited after breaking up once he graduated, and were getting married. It had been Puck's idea, of course, to have the bachelor's party in Las Vegas. Kurt had been reluctant to go – why would he want to go to a hetero strip club with a bunch of straight friends anyway? – but Mike had been so excited about having all his friends back together, that he hadn't had the heart to refuse.

It wasn't until the plane had already landed and Kurt was gathering his luggage while Finn checked for the hotel's address on his phone, that a thought struck him. He straightened and looked at his brother with wide eyes.

“Wait… Blaine isn't coming, is he?” He asked.

One would think after two years of not talking nor seeing his ex-boyfriend, the pain and the awkwardness would have diminished. However, when it came to Blaine, everything Kurt felt was intense and lasting, even the negative feelings.

Finn shifted uncomfortably. “Uhm. I think he is, yes.”

Kurt groaned. “This is a terrible idea, Finn. I shouldn't have…”

“Kurt, it's been two years since you two broke up. I know it was difficult for you, but you have to let it go already. If you can't do it for yourself, then do it for Mike. He's really excited about spending the weekend with all of us,” Finn replied, showing a lot more maturity that Kurt was used to seeing in him.

Sighing in defeat, Kurt hung his head in resignation. “Fine. But I won't spend any time with him. If anyone dares to leave me alone with him…”

“I'll stay by your side at all times,” Finn said, clasping a hand to his shoulders, nearly making his knees wobble with the weight of it.

Blaine had actually been the last one to arrive, much later that day, and it had been easy for Kurt to avoid him when there were so many others to talk to. They were all halfway to being drunk, and Kurt had been grateful for the pleasant buzz vibrating through his body.

About that night, Kurt only remembered one thing vividly – Blaine's eyes. He had caught them fixed on him several times, but every time Kurt's eyes met his, Blaine looked the other way or pretended to be talking to someone else. Blaine had seemed just as uncomfortable as Kurt felt, and remained by Sam's side most of the time.

The next morning, Kurt had woken with a killer headache. It had taken him almost two hours to get himself together, shower and go downstairs to meet the other guys for breakfast – and it wasn't until his painkillers and the first two cups of coffee kicked in that he noticed there was someone missing.

Fortunately, he hadn't needed to ask any questions, because Artie beat him to it.

“Where's Blaine?”

Mike downed a glass of orange juice before replying in a whisper, his face pale and his eyes red and hollow. “Yeah. He left me a message on my room phone. He's gone. Something came up at work, I think.”

Kurt frowned. It was only now that he realized he knew nothing of Blaine's life – where he was living or what he did. But then he forced himself to think of something else, because he just couldn't allow himself to think too much about him. He spent the rest of his weekend getting drunk with his friends and calling Tina to give her updates on her fiancé every now and then. She hadn't wanted a bachelorette party and had decided to stay at home instead, finishing up with the wedding plans. Kurt would have far rather helped her with that and hung out with his girls instead, especially when Puck hired two voluptuous strippers and told one to give Kurt a lap dance.

By the time he went back to New York, he was so hung-over that he couldn't even remember half of that weekend. Blaine had been far from his mind – it was as if he had never showed up in the first place. But now, as Kurt sat on the edge of his bed seven years later, he realized something else had happened that weekend. It was the only explanation. Sometime during that first night in Vegas, he had married Blaine.

He couldn't help wondering if they had slept together that night, if Blaine had run away in the morning when he woke up next to him, or if he didn't even know what they had done. There were many questions unanswered, and Kurt realized that, even if he just wanted to keep the past in the past, he would have to dig out a lot of things he had avoided dealing with for many years.

The problem was, he didn't know how or where to start.

He grabbed his computer from the desk, deciding the Internet was the best starting point. He logged onto Facebook and searched for Blaine Anderson – there were only seven results, but none of them were the Blaine he was looking for. He tried searching him in different social media sites, but the results were still fruitless. Finally, he sighed in frustration and thought there was only one person who could probably help him. Even though he wasn't eager to explain what was going on, he needed to fix this mess if he wanted to keep his fiancé and their wedding plans on track.

He dialed Sam's number and sat on the edge of the bed, tense and nervous. It rang a couple of times before Sam picked up, sounding a bit breathless.

“Kurt, hey!”

“Hi. Am I interrupting something?” Kurt asked.

“No, no. I'm at the gym, that's all,” Sam replied. “What's up? Are you calling for work reasons or is this a social call?”

Sam had entered the modeling business after finishing high school. Even though they weren't the closest of friends now, and they mostly saw each other at work-related events, they stayed in touch. Kurt had called him a few times, especially when he needed a model out of the blue, and their relationship had become more professional than anything in the past few years. He knew Finn saw him a lot more frequently, but Kurt had found himself distanced from Sam considering he had been Blaine's best friend when they broke up. It had been weird talking to him back then, but it was useful now, to still have his contact information.

“This is… well, I don't really know how to explain this, so I'm just going to say it, okay?” Kurt took a deep breath. “I'm calling because I need you to tell me how I can contact Blaine.”

There was a short silence on the other end. The whirring sound that Kurt was sure belonged to a treadmill suddenly stopped. “Uhm. I don't think I'm following.”

It had been a long day. Kurt had no patience left for Sam to catch up. “Look, something major came up and I need to talk to him. It's very urgent. Just give me a phone number or an email address and that'll be enough.”

“Kurt, I…” Sam cleared his throat. “I haven't talked to Blaine in… I'm not sure, probably five years?”

“What?” Kurt muttered incredulously. Sam had been the only one to stay by Blaine's side after the cheating had happened – most of the New Directions had taken Kurt's side, and shunned Blaine. If Sam didn't know where Blaine was…

“I don't know what happened to him,” Sam admitted in a serious voice. “He simply… disappeared. He changed his phone number, closed his Facebook account, didn't return any of my emails…”

Kurt dropped his head on his free hand. “Oh god. What am I going to do now?”

“What's going on?” Sam asked, sounding curious and concerned.

“It's… complicated,” Kurt said, in the understatement of the century. “But I need to find him as soon as possible. It's very important.”

“Sorry, man,” Sam murmured regretfully. “I really have no idea where he is.”

“Where was he living last time you talked to him?” Kurt needed a place to start looking. His next step would have to be to call Blaine's parents, but he knew that probably wouldn't give him any better information.

“Well, when we graduated, he went to Los Angeles, to stay with Cooper,” Sam explained. “He got into school there, so he was going to stay with his brother. I visited him not long before he stopped talking to me. They were still living together then, but Cooper was engaged, so Blaine was talking about moving out on his own to let his brother live alone with his wife…”

“Do you think he may still be in LA?” Kurt asked, hope flaming in his chest.

“I guess he could be,” Sam replied, thoughtfully. “But it's been a long time. Maybe he's not there anymore.”

“Maybe I should try calling his parents…” Kurt muttered.

“Oh, no, don't do that,” Sam said almost immediately. “Last I heard from Blaine, they still weren't on speaking terms. Things with his parents sort of got out of hand right before graduation, his father said a lot of nasty things to him, his mother wasn't the nicest either, and then Blaine decided he'd had enough and they got into this really big fight. He stayed with me and my family until we graduated, and then he went to live with Cooper.”

Even though Kurt hadn't been a part of Blaine's life since he was nineteen years old, it was strange to think that something so appalling had happened to him, and Kurt had no idea. Once upon a time, Kurt had given Blaine a shoulder to cry on when things with his parents were less than stellar, and Burt had often insisted on Blaine sleeping over at their place when he knew they were giving him a rough time. Now, so many years later, knowing that Blaine had walked away from them and that Kurt hadn't been there to help him through it… it felt so weird. Despite everything that had happened, and how long it had been since he had even thought about Blaine, Kurt couldn't help but feel like he should've been there to support him.

He decided to focus on the problem at hand instead of worrying for that.  Kurt closed his eyes and thought. “So… what about Cooper? Do you think he's still living in the same place?”

“Yeah, I think he might be,” Sam answered. “I don't have his phone number anymore, but I still remember his address. Maybe you can give that a shot?”

Kurt felt relieved. It was a start. “That would be fantastic.” He grabbed a notepad and a pen and quickly wrote down the address Sam gave him. “Thank you so much, Sam. I really appreciate your help.”

“You're welcome,” Sam said, and after a short pause, he asked: “So, are you going to tell me what this is about?”

“I need to get a divorce from Blaine, so I can marry my fiancé,” Kurt explained tersely. It sounded so ridiculous that he would've laughed if he hadn't been so incredibly stressed.

It was evident Sam had taken the opportunity to drink some water, because there were suddenly hacking and coughing noises, as if he were choking. “What the hell? You two are married?”

“I'm just as shocked as you are. I only found out about it today while trying to get a marriage license,” Kurt replied in a flat tone.

“How could that happen, without you even knowing about it?” Sam asked, completely baffled.

“My guess is that it had to have happened during Mike's bachelor party in Las Vegas, but I'm not exactly sure. That's the only time I remember seeing him since… we split.” Kurt ran a hand through his hair, a nervous habit that he hated, and sighed. “Look, I'm sorry, Sam, but I really have to go. I have a million things to do and I desperately need a chamomile tea. This day has been… unexpectedly exhausting. Thank you so much for your help.”

“You're welcome. Let me know how this goes,” Sam said gently. He hesitated. “Uhm. If you talk to Blaine… can you maybe tell him to give me a call, if you get a chance? I was pissed off because of how he simply disappeared, but now I'm mostly just really worried. Tell him to call me so I can yell at him for a while.”

Kurt smiled humorlessly. “I will. Thanks again.”

They said goodbye and Kurt hung up. He stayed where he was, sitting with his eyes fixed on his phone and Cooper Anderson's address written on a notepad next to him, completely bewildered at the turn this day had taken.

Apparently, there wasn't only a wedding to plan anymore. Now there was also a divorce to get ready for.

*