It was raining in New York City and Kurt couldn't help but think that the weather was trying to reflect how he felt. He looked out the window as his taxi drove from the airport to his apartment in the slow midday traffic and watched as the rain made the pavement and sidewalks shine. A multitude of umbrellas covered the people cruising down the avenue, except for those who were in too much of a rush to waste time trying to dodge other pedestrians while handling an umbrella.

Kurt tried to blame the rain for how colorless the city looked, especially in comparison with how sunny, bright and beautiful Los Angeles had been when he was on his way to the airport. But deep down inside he knew that it wasn't that New York was less beautiful than it had been when Kurt had left a few weeks ago. It was just that now he couldn't ignore how much more beautiful any place was when Blaine was by his side.

Kurt had left alone, after saying goodbye to Blaine at Cooper's house. There was so much they needed to resolve, but it would have to wait until Blaine was ready. The divorce papers, the reason Kurt had tracked him down, stayed with Blaine to remind him that Kurt believed they would find a way back to each other.

Kurt had a lump on his throat that had taken residence there as soon as he stepped out of Cooper's door. Going back to New York now felt wrong, but at the same time, he knew he couldn't delay his return any longer. There was so much he had to do – his work had been handled quite efficiently from Los Angeles, but he was still needed back at the office, and all the wedding plans needed to be cancelled. He hadn't been capable of asking Alex to take care of it. It would've been too cruel of him.

The way Blaine had hugged him before they parted gave him hope. He had held him in his arms as if nothing was more precious to Blaine than Kurt, as if the mere idea of being apart was like a nightmare. He understood now why Blaine needed this – he hadn't been able to think of anything else when he was alone with his thoughts on the flight back. They had coped with their break up in very different ways. Kurt had been so angry at Blaine that he had tried as hard as he could to move on. But Blaine had felt so much regret that he hadn't allowed himself to do the same. Blaine had remained stuck in the past, trying to deal with what life threw at him, while constantly torturing himself for the one mistake that had changed everything.

There was a lot Kurt still didn't know about what had happened in Blaine's life, right from their breakup on. He hadn't wanted to know anything about Blaine, consumed in his own misery, after his betrayal. But now he wanted to do everything he could to help him recover. When they were younger, in love for the first time, he had believed Blaine was perfect. That was his first mistake. Blaine was just as flawed as every other human being. He hadn't been fair to him, by forcing him to be his Prince Charming.  

Kurt lost his train of thought when the driver pulled up to the curb in front of his building. He paid the fare and carried his suitcase inside. He was tired – the past few weeks had been an emotional roller coaster and he felt like he could sleep for three days without interruptions.

The apartment was quiet, and the absence of another person in it was overwhelming and freeing at the same time. He could see the hints of emptiness left behind by Alex – one of the lamps in the living room was gone, half of the DVDs in the shelf had disappeared, and the coat that could be usually found next to his in the closet by the door was missing. On the little table in the hall, there was a set of keys but no note. Alex was gone and the last few years of Kurt's life seemed to have vanished with him.

“Home sweet home,” Kurt whispered quietly, almost sadly, to the silent apartment.

He left the suitcase there and immediately walked towards the master bedroom, toeing his shoes off on his way. He just wanted to get into bed and hide under his blankets for a while. He felt as if he had finished putting a puzzle together at last, only for someone to mess it up so he would have to start again. Everything had changed so drastically in so little time that Kurt had the feeling it would take him a while to catch up with his own life. He had been so worried about Blaine since finding him again that he had barely stopped to consider how his life was going to change from now.

He had just changed into yoga pants and a worn Henley, when his phone rang. His exhaustion faded away when he fished his phone from the pocket of his jeans and saw who was calling.

“Hi…” he said breathlessly as he sat on the edge of his bed, his smile audible in his voice.

“Hey,” Blaine's voice said from the other end. If Kurt closed his eyes very tightly, he could pretend Blaine was next to him and not on the other side of the country. “Are you home? How was your flight?”

“Yes, I just got here. It was relatively okay, I guess. No screaming babies, at least,” Kurt replied. The tension in his muscles seemed to dissipate a little now that he was talking to Blaine. “How are you?”

“I'm good. I just got up. Everyone else is still sleeping. I'll probably make some breakfast for the girls. They like my pancakes with blueberries,” Blaine said and Kurt smiled as he shifted to lie against his pillows.

“Mm, your blueberry pancakes were always amazing,” he murmured.

They stayed silent for a minute and Kurt was happy just listening to Blaine's quiet breathing. Finally, it was Blaine who spoke again first, and he sounded a little concerned.

“I wanted to make sure you weren't upset about what I asked you yesterday,” Blaine said quietly, almost shyly. “I don't want you to think I'm trying to be difficult or that I'm playing some stupid game to…”

“No, Blaine, no,” Kurt cut off, because the more Blaine said, the more anxious he sounded. “No, sweetheart. I really do understand why you need this. I want you to be okay, and I want you to get a little stronger, healthier and happier… but you can't do that if you're not okay with who you are, and if you feel like you don't really know yourself. I want to be with you, of course I do, but I'll do whatever you need me to do so you can get better.”

“But you have to be okay, too,” Blaine said determinedly. “And if there's something you're not comfortable with, you need to say it.”

“All I need to know is that I can talk to you on the phone every now and then, and I'll be fine.” Kurt insisted. “Maybe we can Skype sometimes, too. But the whole point of this is for you to learn how to be happy without me, Blaine, so if you need more space...”

“I think it'll be fine like this,” Blaine reassured him gently. “I like knowing I can talk to you if I need to, but I want to build my life again on my own. I need to think about what I'm going to do for a living. I don't even know what I like anymore.”

“You'll remember. Or you'll find new things to like,” Kurt said sweetly. “It's a process, Blaine. Don't rush it. I'll be here every step of the way, if you need me.”

“Thank you for understanding,” Blaine murmured, touched. “I know I'm in no position to ask anything of you, and you're being so good to me…”

“Okay, lesson number one. You have the right to ask me anything you want, especially when it's something related to you being comfortable, happy and okay. So don't ever hesitate in telling me if there's something I can do for you.” Kurt hugged one of his pillows to his chest and smiled sadly. Listening to Blaine speak about anything related to himself was always tainted with loathing and repugnance. He didn't want Blaine to feel like that about himself, but Kurt couldn't force him to see himself under a new light. He could only push him in the right direction.

Before Blaine could respond, Kurt heard the high pitched voices of his nieces. Kurt couldn't make out what they were saying, but his heart warmed when he heard Blaine chuckle.

“Alright, alright. I'll make your pancakes. Just a minute,” he said and the girls cheered.

“Sounds like you gotta go,” Kurt said, but he wasn't sad, because he was leaving the most precious man in the best hands.

“Yeah. But I'll talk to you soon, okay?” Blaine asked, as if he needed to make sure Kurt still wanted him to call.

“Definitely,” Kurt said as reassuringly as he could. “Go have fun with the girls. I love you.”

Blaine's voice was a little choked when he replied, evidently not used to having Kurt say those words to him again so freely. “I love you too. Talk to you soon, Kurt.”

Blaine hung up and Kurt lowered the phone, but kept the pillow tucked in his arms and pressed against his chest. It wasn't the same as hugging the man he wished he could have with him, but it would have to do.

He would have to get used to being alone.

*

“Hummel!”

Kurt was walking from the elevator to his office when he heard the voice. He wasn't surprised by the slightly scandalized tone. He knew very well what this was about.

“Good morning, Brianna,” he said with an easy smile, as the tall woman in six inch heels rushed towards him.

“Oh my god, are you okay? I got your email about the engagement,” Brianna said, pressing a well-manicured hand on Kurt's shoulder. Her blonde hair was up in a flawless bun and her pink lips twisted in a grimace. “Did he cheat on you?”

“Of course not,” Kurt replied, not without feeling a little guilty about his own cheating. Maybe sending out an email to all the people they had invited to the wedding that weren't close enough to him to understand what had happened hadn't been one of his brightest ideas. “Alex is a saint. You know that.”

“Well, then I can't understand why you'd let him go!” Brianna exclaimed, as she leaned closer, which meant she was getting ready to gossip. “I heard the people in the make-up department say that you broke it off, but I can't believe that. I mean, the man is gorgeous. You'd be an idiot to call things off for anything less than cheating!”

Oh, Kurt was not in the mood for this before his second cup of coffee. “Listen, Brianna, I appreciate your concern, but I can assure we made the right decision…”

“I can call the girls in the other departments and we can go out drinking tonight,” she said, without paying much attention to him at all. “You can tell us all about it. But you don't have to worry about a thing. I'm sure we can get you a new man very soon…”

If there was one thing Kurt didn't like about the fashion world, it was the shallow people he had to deal with. At least not all of them were like that, but there were a few other girls (and men!) like Brianna that he could barely stand.

He brushed her hand off his shoulder, striving to remain civil. He was emotionally wrung out, after tossing and turning for half the night wondering how things would work out between he and Blaine. The doubts had weighed heavily on him, only dissipating a bit on his way to work, when he got a good morning text from Blaine.

“I appreciate your concern, but I don't need help finding another man. I already have a beautiful husband and I wouldn't change him for the world.”

He walked away before she could react to what he had said, but before he stepped into his office, he had already regretted the comment. It was sure to not only stir the gossip waters in the office and drive him crazy before the day was over, but it also made his relationship with Blaine sound too solid and unbreakable.

He didn't want to take things for granted. If everything crashed and burned, it would only make putting his heart together again a million times harder.

*

For the first week, they didn't talk every day. Kurt let Blaine decide how fast or how slow they would move, and that included the phone calls. Blaine texted him at least once a day (once to say good morning and wish him a nice day, another to say goodnight), and called him once more to ask him for a chicken recipe he remembered Kurt had made for a Friday Night Dinner back in Lima when they first started dating. It gave them an excuse to talk for a few minutes, and Kurt felt so much better after listening to his voice. Blaine sounded a lot more relaxed, and the sweetness in his voice when he said his name or teased him reassured Kurt a bit more. It wasn't very hard to stay positive after that – Blaine needed to heal his broken wings, but once he did, he would fly back to Kurt. Kurt just needed to be patient.

It wasn't until the following Monday that Blaine showed him he was ready for a bit more. Kurt had been in a meeting all morning, and found the text when he was going down on the elevator during his lunch break.

From: Blaine

Hey! What time will you be home today? Do you think we can Skype?

Kurt bit his lip to stop himself from smiling like a teenager with a crush and immediately replied.

To: Blaine

Of course we can! I'll be home at six. Is that good for you? I can't wait to see you.

Blaine said that time was fine with him, and Kurt walked down the block to his favorite deli with a spring in his step.

*

Blaine sighed and drummed his fingers on his thigh as he glanced at the clock again. Kurt was fifteen minutes late.

He tried not to think too much about it – maybe he had gotten caught up in a meeting, or maybe he had had to stop at the grocery stop before going home. He didn't know what Kurt's routine was like. He couldn't predict the things that would make him late, but a bitter voice in the back of his head kept whispering viciously: he forgot about you.

He checked his cell phone, but Kurt hadn't sent any messages. What if he had forgotten about him? Maybe while he had been here in Los Angeles, Kurt had been aware of Blaine's presence, had felt the same thing he had felt about him so long ago… but maybe things had changed now that he was in New York. Maybe Kurt had realized that there was no room for Blaine in his life…

Blaine's finger hovered over the sign off button when twenty five minutes had passed without any sign of Kurt.

Suddenly, a little window popped up on the corner of the screen, announcing that Kurt was online.

Blaine took a shaky breath in and accepted Kurt's call.

Kurt was already talking breathlessly, sounding distraught and worried even before his image was clear enough to see him. “Oh my god, Blaine baby, I'm so sorry. One of the interns misplaced a file and we had to look for it because our deadline is on Wednesday and we needed it, and I have no idea why they hire people who can't even remember that the files in the green folders go on the top shelf, and then I couldn't get a cab so I had to take the subway and the nearest station from here is three blocks away and I swear, these shoes are beautiful, but they aren't meant for walking, I mean, I'm pretty sure my feet are swimming in my own blood right now, but…”

The more Kurt said, the more Blaine smiled. Not because knowing Kurt had had a difficult day made him happy, but because he could tell now that he had been an idiot. Of course Kurt cared. He had showed him he cared in so many ways since they had found each other again…

And god, wasn't he the most adorable man on Earth?

“Kurt. Kurt! Hey, it's okay,” Blaine said, smiling even wider when he could finally see Kurt clearly. His hair was a little messy, and he still had his messenger bag hanging from his shoulder. It looked a lot like he had run all the way home, straight in the front door, to turn on his computer.

“I'm sorry. I didn't want to keep you waiting. My phone decided it was the perfect time to run out of battery as well. I think the universe hates me today,” Kurt pouted miserably.

Blaine's smile seemed to be stuck to his face. He ran one of his fingers down Kurt's face, wishing he was touching his beautiful skin and not the cold inanimate screen. “You're here now. That's all that matters.”

“Mm,” Kurt hummed, visibly relaxing. “It's so nice to see your face.”

“It's really nice to see you too,” Blaine replied softly, almost bashfully. God, he hadn't felt like this in so long… “Why don't you go get comfortable? I can wait. Get those awful shoes off your feet.”

“Hey, they may be more painful than walking on nails, but they are not awful,” Kurt said, pointing at Blaine through the screen. “They're Ferragamo.”

Blaine raised his hands in the air defensively. “My bad. Of course. You wouldn't wear anything less than fabulous.”

“That's right,” Kurt nodded firmly, but then his face softened and he looked at Blaine fondly. “I'll be right back. I can give you a tour of the apartment, if you want?”

“I'd love that,” Blaine agreed and with one last smile, Kurt was gone. He could hear him moving around the apartment for a moment, but then it was mostly silent.

From there, Blaine could only see a fridge and a few cupboards, so he guessed Kurt had left his computer on the kitchen table. He used the time on his own to take a few deep breaths and calm down. He couldn't keep listening to that bitter voice in his head – he had listened to it for ten years, and look where it had taken him to. He needed to relax and learn how to trust in Kurt, and himself again.

Kurt returned two minutes later, wearing a soft blue hoodie that made his eyes shine mesmerizingly and black yoga pants. He leaned towards the computer and smiled at Blaine. “Ready for your tour?”

For the next ten minutes, Blaine was content listening to Kurt babble about the flea market where he had found his antique chairs for the living room, the cute little shop in Chelsea where he'd found some amazing pictures painted by a local artist and how he wanted to repaint his office because the bright red he had chosen when he had moved into this apartment distracted him when he was trying to work.

The tour ended in Kurt's bedroom – a simple but elegant room decorated in light greens, with a huge king size bed taking up the space under the window. Kurt sat against his pillows and sighed as he looked down at Blaine, settling the computer on his lap.

“I'm sorry. I've been talking non-stop. You probably don't care about all that stuff…” He mumbled with a nervous laugh. Blaine hadn't seen him look so bashful, blushing as he covered his face with his hand, since they had been teenagers, right before and after they had started dating.

“Of course I did. I love getting to know your home. It's lovely, really. It's very you,” Blaine replied. There was a warm feeling swirling inside of him. He hadn't felt so light and peaceful in a very long time.

They smiled at each other in silence for an instant, before Kurt had to look away, moved by the intensity of their gazes.

“So… how are you?” He asked, a little more seriously.

Blaine genuinely thought about his answer. He was done saying he was fine just to comfort everyone else – Cooper had been particularly insistent about wanting him to be honest. “I'm… better. I'm doing my best to get better, at least.”

“I know you are. I'm so proud of you,” Kurt said with a little, adoring smile.

“Being with my family is helping a lot. The girls keep me distracted, and Cooper is always available to talk if I need him. It's nice falling right into their life like I've always belonged here…”

“That's because you have always belonged there,” Kurt remarked. “Just because you had a fall out, it doesn't mean you stopped being Cooper's brother.”

Blaine hummed in agreement. “I guess I was just too stupid and blind to see that. And I know Cooper was right when he sent me away, too. I… I should have been smarter. I couldn't stop myself from screwing everything up, but I should've been strong enough to keep my shit out of my nieces' lives. They could have been hurt or…”

“Blaine,” Kurt interrupted when Blaine's voice became darker and full of regret and self-loathing. Blaine stopped and looked at him again, almost as if he had forgotten he had been talking to Kurt. “They didn't get hurt. It was an unfortunate situation, but they are okay, and they love you. Of course Cooper and Madison were worried about their children, but they forgive you. They understand.”

“I-I know,” Blaine ran a hand down his face, a little frustrated. “I can't stop thinking about everything I've fucked up. I just want to erase my past and start all over, but I can't. I think about Ava and Olivia, and I think about you…”

“Sweetheart,” Kurt stopped him, before he could say more. “I'm not going to say that what happened between us didn't hurt. It did, and I never really got over it, even though I pretended I did. But… we were just kids, Blaine. Yes, you cheated on me, but… I wasn't the perfect boyfriend, either. I knew you needed me, but I was so busy and so happy with the life I was building here, that I didn't realize I was pushing you aside until it was too late. I was blind. I… I never apologized for that, but… I'm sorry.”

Blaine felt the wetness of his tears before he even realized he was crying. There was a lot about the break up, and what had happened before and after, that he had always obsessed with, and how Kurt had made him feel like he wasn't a part of his life anymore was one of them. He had always had that doubt – was Kurt really so busy and so caught up in his new life that he couldn't find a minute for Blaine, or was it all just an excuse for finally getting rid of him?

Blaine was starting to understand now that all his issues had to do with trust and with being unable to see himself as someone people would give a shit about. His parents hadn't given a shit about him, so why would anyone?

Because some people aren't bigoted assholes who care more about appearances than their own son.

“I'm sorry, too,” he muttered with a sad smile.

Kurt gave Blaine a moment so he could calm down and wipe his tears away, and Blaine wished they weren't on opposite sides of the country, but in each other's arms. Little did he know, Kurt was wishing for exactly the same thing.

“I'm…” Blaine started again, looking down at his own hands. “I like that we can talk about this. I know it's hard – it is for me, at least – but it's helping. I spent too long trying to block those memories that I think they started to choke me.”

Kurt's face was soft and accepting and Blaine could swear he was stroking the screen lovingly. “I think it'll really help us. There are so many things from back then that I never liked thinking about, but I think I'm finally in a good position to do it. I was so insecure and hurt that I couldn't see the situation clearly – I was just focusing on what you had done because I needed to blame you for everything. That wasn't a healthy thing to do,” he admitted. “And I'm sorry for not answering your calls and your messages when you wanted to talk about it. Maybe if I had been a little easier on you…”

“No, no. You were right. I can't blame you for that, Kurt.” Blaine shook his head.

“We should have talked. Even if we couldn't get things back to what they had been, we should have at least talked. Everything would have been so different. Maybe we would have moved on…” Kurt said with a long sigh.

Blaine frowned. “Do you wish you had? Moved on, I mean. Do you wish you had been able to move on so we wouldn't be having this conversation now? So we wouldn't have gotten married and all of this could have been avoided?”

“I wish we didn't spend a decade feeling so bad about everything that happened between us. I wish we had found a way to heal when we should have, instead of you torturing yourself and me feeling so lost for so long,” Kurt explained patiently, but trying to reassure him at the same time. “We suffered for too long, Blaine. That's what I regret the most.”

Blaine sniffed and nodded, as he reached for the box of tissues on his nightstand. He blew his nose delicately and threw it in the bin next to the bed, before turning back to Kurt, who still had that soft, beautiful look on his face, only for him.

“I love that we can talk about everything now,” Blaine said quietly. “But I think I need time to think about all this and process it. In my head, I'm still the only one to blame, the only one who made mistakes. It's… I know I'm asking so much from you, and you've been so patient…”

“No, sweetie,” Kurt murmured tenderly. “I don't mind. I want you to get better, and you're the only one who knows what to do to get there. I'll do everything I can to help you, even if giving you time is all I can do.”

“Thank you,” Blaine smiled at him, a real, soft smile only for Kurt.

They stared at each other lovingly for a minute or two, until Blaine remembered there had been a reason for this Skype date after all.

“So… I kind of have news,” he said a little shyly.

Kurt grinned and straightened up, showing him he had his attention. “Do tell.”

“Well, Cooper's secretary is about to have a baby, so he asked me to fill in for her while she's on maternity leave. It would only be for a couple of months, but he thinks it could be good for me…” Blaine explained.

“That's fantastic, sweetheart. What do you think?” Kurt asked, and Blaine loved how Kurt tried to make him reflect, with just a simple question, if this was the right step for him right now.

“I think I'll do it. It'll give me something to do and I can always use the money,” Blaine shrugged. “It's probably not what you imagined I would do with my life, but…”

“What I imagined doesn't matter. What matters is that you do something that you think is good for yourself,” Kurt replied candidly.

Blaine smiled tentatively. “Thanks. It will also help me not to think about you so much…” He paused and frowned. “Wait. That didn't come out right… I didn't mean that I don't like thinking about you. I do. I love you. But…”

“Relax, I get it,” Kurt chuckled and Blaine breathed out in relief when he realized Kurt wasn't upset. “You already told me that you built too much of your life based on me and what happened between us. I don't want to be something negative in your life, Blaine. I want our relationship to be as healthy as possible. If we end up having a relationship again, that is…” He added, a bit hesitantly.

“There's nothing I want more. But I do want to learn how to be on my own, how to do what I need and what I want. I'm glad you don't think that's crazy or selfish…” Blaine murmured. There were still so many things he needed to figure out – so many negative forces inside and outside himself still trying to bring him down that he needed to fight. He would need a lot of strength and he was glad to count on Kurt's support, because he knew that if Kurt didn't support him, it would have to be the end of them forever. Even though it would hurt him deeply to say goodbye, if Kurt hadn't been so understanding, Blaine would have had to walk away and focus on being okay with himself for once and for all.

“Do you know what soul mates are, Blaine? They are two people, two equals, who make each other complete,” Kurt said. His bright blue eyes looked absolutely stunning in the dim light of his bedroom. “That's what we are. That's what we always were. But sometimes soul mates lose each other, and though finding their way back together takes time and effort, it's meant to be. But soul mates, as perfect as they are together, have to be their own person as well. Because even though I love the idea of us, what I want to love, cherish and protect forever is you. You, Blaine Anderson, whoever you end up becoming. So if I have to wait for you to figure out who Blaine Anderson is, then I'll wait, because I know that, no matter how much or how little you have changed throughout the years, we are two puzzle pieces, made to fit together.”

 Blaine was crying again by the time Kurt said the last word. He hadn't felt so loved in a decade, and knowing Kurt still wanted him, as flawed and broken as he was, gave him hope. Maybe he had screwed everything up… but it didn't mean it was the end. Maybe he could still find his very own happily ever after.

*

It was a relatively good week. After talking to Kurt on Skype on Monday, Blaine had felt considerably lighter. There were still demons and negative thoughts lurking around the corners, but he knew he wouldn't get rid of them in the blink of an eye – it was a process.

He had started writing – mostly messy notes on random pages that he would need to organize eventually. Every time he felt like he was on the edge, that he couldn't control the pain that he had felt for too long, he started writing. Sometimes he wasn't even sure what he was writing about, not until he was done and he looked down at the paper in front of him. He wrote a lot of memories – things he had forgotten, things had haunted him for a very long time, things he had tried not to think about since the break-up. It was cathartic, and when he was done he felt exhausted but better.

He had long conversations with Cooper every night, about serious things and about trivial things. The brothers sat together after dinner and shared some time, trying to catch up with each other. Blaine also spent a lot of time with Madison, helping her with the cooking or the grocery shopping. It was nice reconnecting with her, and realizing she didn't hate him, after all. Blaine was still a little shy and reserved around her, but they were slowly becoming good friends again.

Ava and Olivia were the highlight of his days. He spent most of his time with them, playing in the backyard, watching cartoons or dancing around the living room. When he was with his nieces, the rest of the world didn't exist. He had looked for comfort and relief in the wrong place the whole time – he didn't need pills or alcohol, not when he had two beautiful nieces who gave him plenty of reasons to smile.

At first, Blaine was happy because his family provided an excellent distraction, but one night, while he was sitting at the table, watching Madison laugh after Cooper told them something funny that had happened at work, and the girls giggled with their hands covering their mouths, he realized that this wasn't a distraction, not at all.

This was his life.

*

When his alarm went off the following Monday, Blaine woke with a knot of anxiousness in his stomach. He hadn't had a decent job in a very, very long time, and he didn't want to screw anything up at Cooper's office.

He forced himself to push his fears away and get out of bed, walking to his closet to find something appropriate to wear. He had a pair of black pants that would look good with the only button down shirt he still had, but he bit his lip, thinking of Cooper's pristine suits. He would never look as good as his brother.

Knowing there wasn't anything he could do now, he got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast, even though he wasn't sure he would be able to eat anything. Madison and Cooper were already in the kitchen, working together at the counter, and when his sister-in-law pressed a cup of coffee into his hand and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before pushing him towards the table, he knew he hadn't hidden his nerves very well.

Madison had gone upstairs to get the girls ready for school and Blaine was struggling to swallow a bite of toast when the bell rang. Cooper put his own coffee down and went to answer the door, while Blaine considered telling his brother this wasn't a very good idea after all, and that maybe he should stay at the house and do some gardening.

Cooper returned shortly after, but didn't give him time to say anything, because he put a little box wrapped in brown paper on the table. “Mail for you, Squirt.”

Blaine frowned, confused. “Mail for me? But who could…?” He turned the package in his hands so he could see who the sender was, and he probably shouldn't have been surprised to find Kurt's name there. “Oh.”

“Aren't you going to open it? Or are you afraid the content will not be family rated? If that's the case, please don't open it with the girls here,” Cooper said with a playful wink.

“Shut up,” he mumbled, rolling his eyes, as he ripped the paper to get to the box. There was a small envelope stuck to it, so he opened that first and extracted a white card with Kurt's curvy handwriting.

Blaine,

Good luck on your first day! I know you'll be brilliant, no matter what. I'll be thinking of you.

I hope you like the present – it's just a little something I put together to give you what you always gave me: Courage.

I love you!

Yours,

Kurt x

With his eyes glistening with tears – Yours, Kurt – Blaine opened the box and found a beautiful green and grey stripped bowtie. He touched the fabric reverently, knowing Kurt had made it especially for him – to give him courage.

Courage.

Suddenly, the road to recovery didn't seem so long at all.

*

Kurt tried to keep himself distracted with some work he had brought home, but he still glanced at his phone every two minutes or so, as if willing it to ring. He had been anxious about Blaine's first day back to work since he had gotten up that morning, and though Blaine had sent him a very enthusiastic text thanking him for the bowtie, plus a picture of him wearing it and grinning from ear to ear, he was still worried. Blaine was still in a fragile state and he was worried that one wrong comment from one person or one thing that didn't go as planned would set him back a million steps.

Kurt stood from the couch and walked towards the kitchen to get a glass of water. Ten years ago, he wouldn't have worried about Blaine for something like this – he used to be stronger, more confident, even if insecurity crept into him every now and then. There were times when Kurt wasn't sure how to deal with this Blaine, who was a million time more vulnerable than the one he had fallen in love with, but then he realized he could relate to what Blaine was feeling. Kurt Hummel wasn't a stranger to pain.

He was leaning against the counter and sipping his water thoughtfully when his cell phone vibrated on the coffee table. He crossed the room so quickly he almost spilled the water all over the hardwood floor.

“Hello?”

“Hi Kurt,” Blaine's soft, velvety voice said from the other end. “Am I calling too late?”

“No, not at all! I was waiting for your call,” Kurt said, already smiling as he dropped back down onto the couch. “How was your first day?”

“It was really good,” Blaine answered, and Kurt breathed out in relief. “Everyone was so nice and Cooper helped me a lot.”

“I'm so glad to hear that,” Kurt exclaimed, cradling the phone between his hands, wishing he could be holding Blaine instead. “Tell me all about it.”

Blaine told him about how nervous he had been, how difficult it was for him to interact with strangers now, how he didn't want to screw anything up for Cooper. But one of the girls in the office had helped him learn everything he needed. He had spent most of his time answering calls and emails, and Cooper had assured him he wouldn't need to do much more than that – maybe assist him during an interview every now and then. It had been a very long time since Blaine had seen people so enthusiastic and eager to find a job in the entertainment world and it reminded him of how he had been like that once.

“And are you okay with that?” Kurt asked, frowning. He hoped seeing all those aspiring actors wouldn't make Blaine feel bad about where his own career had ended.

“Yeah, I am,” Blaine said, in a surprisingly calm voice. “I thought it would trigger me somehow, but I'm fine. I mean… I don't want to work for Cooper for the rest of my life, but just a few weeks ago I was lucky if I could help Johnnie tend the bar, so…”

“Well, it's like you said the other day. It's good to keep busy,” Kurt replied encouragingly. “Plus it's only temporary, just until Cooper's secretary comes back. And in the meantime, you can try to figure out what you really want to do.”

Blaine hummed. “And what if I never figure out what I want to do?”

“I'm sure you will,” Kurt said without a second's hesitation. “I think you know it, but you're still dealing with other stuff and you can't focus on pulling it out from where it's buried deep down inside of you. And I just want you to know… Blaine, whatever it is you decide you want to do, I'll support you.”

Blaine let out a shaky breath. “Thank you. That really means a lot to me. I think… I think I'm going to take this one day at a time, and see what happens.”

“That's a great idea, sweetheart,” Kurt murmured.

“Thank you so much for the bowtie,” Blaine said and Kurt could hear the smile on his voice this time. “It's beautiful and your note helped me so much…”

“I knew you were going to be a little nervous, and I really wanted to be there for you somehow,” Kurt explained, once more wishing he could be pulling this wonderful man into his arms. “Plus… I was hoping it'll help you reconsider your current fashion style,” he added teasingly. “Maybe if I bribe you with more bowties you'll get rid of a few of your black band t-shirts?”

Blaine chuckled. “Maybe. We'll see. They're comfy.”

They chatted a little more, sharing stories from their days and relaxing together. Eventually, Kurt couldn't keep his eyes open for another second and Blaine had to go downstairs for dinner, so they had to hang up.

“You know,” Blaine said, just before they said goodbye. “I think we're going to be okay.”

Kurt went to sleep with the biggest smile on his face.

*