When a little while later Kurt wanted to recall every detail of that night, there was one thing that remained blurry. He had no idea how he had managed to jump off his bed and get to the hospital in record time.

He had moved in a trance, changing into the first clothes he could find and running down the stairs, too anxious to wait for the elevator, until he reached the street and the freezing December air seemed to wake him a little bit more. He tightened his coat around himself – a beautiful Marc Jacobs coat that didn't match his sneakers at all, which would have mortified him any other day – and looked around, hoping for a taxi. It seemed like, for once, New York was calm, buried under a layer of snow, devoid of the life it characterized it.

“Shit,” Kurt muttered under his breath, and walked a few blocks until he found an available cab.

He spent the entire ride fidgeting with his phone in the back seat, almost expecting Tanya to call again and tell him it had been a false alarm. He must have looked paler than usual, because even the driver watched him through the rearview mirror and asked him if he was okay.

“Yes,” Kurt said, breathlessly. “I'm fine. I'm… I'm going to be a dad.”

“Oh, well, congratulations,” the driver said with a quick smile, and then lost interest in him.

The hospital seemed to be a million miles away that night. By the time they arrived, Kurt threw a handful of money to the driver, not really caring if he was being way too generous with his tip, and got out of the car at the speed of light. He just wanted to find Tanya.

He reached the reception desk, panting, and gripped onto the edge, staring desperately at the nurse behind it. “My name is Kurt Hummel. I'm here for Tanya Brown. She's my surrogate.”

The nurse gave him a reassuring looks as she typed something on the computer in front of her. “She still hasn't been taken to the delivery room, Mr. Hummel. She's in room 613.”

“Thank you,” Kurt answered, relieved that he hadn't been too late, and hurried towards the elevator.

Tanya was in a small room by herself, staring at the ceiling, her hands closed tightly around the bed sheets. Her hair was a mass of disheveled curls, and her jaw was tense, like she was trying to hold back tears.

“Oh Tanya, oh sweetie,” Kurt muttered as he stepped into the room. “How are you? Are you okay? Where are the doctors?”

Tanya tilted her head on the pillow to look at Kurt. “I'm fine, just… in a lot more pain than I imagined,” she said, and her voice was a little strangled. “Doctor Collins was here five minutes ago. She says I'm not dilated enough yet, and that I have to wait.”

“Oh honey, I'm so sorry,” Kurt reached for her hand and squeezed it gently. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Just stay with me?” She asked shyly. “My roommate was supposed to come with me, but she's already back home for Christmas, and I… I don't want to do this alone.”

Kurt dragged a chair closer with his free hand and sat next to her. “I'm not going anywhere until you tell me to. I'll be right next to you the whole time. You can squeeze my hand and yell at me when the pain is awful, and tell me how much men suck for not having to go through this.” Kurt smiled encouragingly at her, and was glad to see a little smile reflected back at him.

“Oh, here comes another one…” Tanya scrunched her eyes closed and tried to breathe through her contraction, practically breaking every bone in Kurt's hand in the process.

Kurt grabbed a wet wipe from the bedside table and dabbed at the sweat on Tanya's forehead and temples. “You're doing great, honey. You're so brave.”

She slumped back against the pillows as the contraction came to an end, and looked tiredly at Kurt. “Not so sure about that.”

“Trust me, you're the bravest person I know,” Kurt said sweetly.

“Well, I feel like a coward for what I'm about to tell you, so…” Tanya mumbled, making Kurt's heart stop in sudden horror.

She's having second thoughts about giving the baby away. She wants to keep it. Oh my god, she wants to keep it. What am I going to do?

“Don't look so panicked,” Tanya said with a brief chuckle. “It's not what you think, probably.”

“Oh, well, then… uhm, what is it?” Kurt asked, trying to sound like he wasn't about to completely break down.

“I've been thinking and… I don't think I want to see the baby,” Tanya said, looking away, as if ashamed. “I'm afraid it'll be a little bit too much. I'd rather not risk it…”

“Are you sure?” Kurt stroked her knuckles softly. “I'll be okay with whatever you decide.”

“I know for sure I don't want to have a baby. I don't want to be a mother, Kurt. But… I'm scared that having the baby in my arms will mess me up. I'm scared it'll make me regret this, even though I couldn't be more certain that I'm making the right call here,” Tanya explained carefully. “I liked my life, before I got pregnant. I want it back. I'm not saying this hasn't changed me at all, but… I don't want it to allow me to change me more than it has to.”

Kurt watched her in silence for a few seconds, reading her like an open book, until he was sure he understood. “Okay. So how do you want to do this?”

Tanya relaxed, like he had been worried that Kurt would judge her for this. “Maybe once the baby is born and they take it away to clean it and check on it, we could say goodbye. I really want you to be with me during the delivery, not only because I don't want you to miss the experience, but also because I need the support. But then we should probably make a clean cut.”

Kurt felt his eyes filling with tears. He had grown to adore this girl, this beautiful, selfless girl who was giving the most important thing in the world to him. “If that's how you want to do it, then that's how it's going to happen,” he replied. “But if you ever change your mind and you want to meet him or her… well, you're welcomed to give me a call. You can be a part of our lives.”

Tanya smiled gratefully. “I really made the best decision when I picked you to be the daddy. You were meant to have this baby, Kurt. Just promise me you will do everything in your power to make sure this kid is the happiest kid in the world. That's all I need to know.”

Kurt sniffed and nodded vehemently. “I promise.”

They smiled at each other until another contraction interrupted them.

It was going to be a very long night.

*

It was only a few minutes before seven in the morning when Doctor Collins came around once again to check on Tanya and, with a big excited smile, announced she was finally ready to be taken to the delivery room.

Tanya groaned, exhausted, and threw her head back against the pillow. “I don't think I can do this…”

“Yes, you can,” Kurt assured her. He felt terrible for her. He was tired as hell and in need of a cup of coffee, so he couldn't imagine how she was feeling. And she still had a long road ahead before she could rest. “Come on, it'll be over soon, honey.”

They got separated for a moment while they both got ready to enter the delivery room. Kurt found himself in a very unflattering hospital robe in a horrible light green tone that made his skin look sickly pale. But for once, Kurt didn't care about using every opportunity for fashion. He didn't care about anything but being back next to Tanya and not missing a single second of this day.

The contractions were apart by only a handful of minutes now, and Tanya's face was contorted in pain when they reunited. She instantly reached for Kurt's hand.

“You're so lucky you can't get pregnant,” she said between clenched teeth.

Before Kurt could find an appropriate reply to that – because telling her he was glad he couldn't didn't seem like the right thing to say right now – Doctor Collins clapped her hands together and smiled at Tanya.

“Okay, Tanya! I want you to start pushing as soon as you feel your next contraction,” she instructed, way too cheerfully. She stood between Tanya's legs that had been placed on holders and leaned in. “Are you ready?”

Kurt's hand was trapped in Tanya's death grip, but he was happy to have something to focus on, because he was feeling awfully lightheaded. This was an incredibly surreal experience, and it hadn't even fully started yet.

The room was soon filled with grunts of pain, and even a few sobs, as Tanya pushed like champion during every contraction. Kurt kept murmuring the most encouraging things he could think of, and brushed her wild hair back when it got on her face. He didn't know how helpful he was being, but it was better than thinking of how his future son or daughter was slowly coming into the world.

“Okay, guys, I see the head!” Doctor Collins announced after a few minutes. “I need you to push as hard as you can on the next one, Tanya! You can do this!”

“Yes, you can do this,” Kurt echoed, leaning closer to her. “It'll be over soon, honey. You just need to push a little bit more.”

“It hurts, Kurt,” Tanya whined.

“I know, I know it does. But you've been so amazing… you can take the longest nap ever as soon as this is over,” Kurt pressed his lips against her temple for a moment, and then helped her get in a more comfortable position to push again.

It felt like every encouragement got more and more repetitive with every minute, but Kurt couldn't think clearly, especially once Doctor Collins began to say things like “here's the head! Keep pushing Tanya, here are the shoulders! Just a little bit more, here come the legs!”

When the high-pitched cry pierced the air, it took Kurt by surprise. He had been so focused on squeezing Tanya's hand through one particularly hard push, that he hadn't realized it would be the final one. He lifted his eyes from Tanya's face to see the nurses rushing away, and there was only the flash of a tiny little hand before it was gone.

“Go,” Tanya muttered, completely drained.

Kurt turned back to her. “I… I can stay with you for another minute. Are you okay? Do you need…?”

“Go meet your baby,” she insisted.

“Tanya, I…” Kurt felt a knot forming in his throat, but he pushed through it. “I will never be able to thank you enough for this, I…”

“I know,” she said tiredly. She pulled their hands apart and closed her eyes. “Go, Kurt.”

Kurt leaned in and kissed her forehead. “Thank you.”

“Don't forget your promise,” she reminded him, opening her eyes to place them on him one last time.

“I won't forget,” Kurt assured her, and with one last glance, he walked away from her and towards the cries at the back of the room.

A nurse was wrapping a tiny little thing into a white blanket. The first thing Kurt saw was a head with the most adorable little curls he had ever seen in his life. The baby's face was scrunched, crying and sobbing unhappily, as the nurse shushed it quietly, trying to calm it.

She saw him approach out of the corner of her eye and turned to smile at him. “Here's your little one, Mr. Hummel. Time to meet your daddy, cutie!”

Kurt choked on a sob of his own at that, and extended his arms, afraid that he would drop the baby or hurt it somehow. “Oh my god… I…” he looked down at the bundle in his arms. The warm weight against his chest made him feel like nothing could ever go wrong again, and he felt such an enormous rush of love running through his veins that it overwhelmed him – he had never imagined he could love someone so much in such a short time.

“It's a girl,” the nurse told him softly, helping him arrange his arms to hold her more comfortably. “I'll give you two a moment…”

“A girl,” Kurt repeated, absolutely incredulous. “Oh my god. Hi. Hi, beautiful.” The baby's eyes moved to him and her cries subsided a little bit as she stared up at him in confusion. Kurt counted ten perfect toes and ten perfect fingers, and stared at the perfect curve of her nose. Her gorgeous cacao skin made his own hand look so pale and yet so right where it was supporting her head.

She was everything he had ever wanted.

“Hi, baby,” he said, as he watched her, full of wonder. “I'm your daddy.”

He had never imagined he could be this happy. She was such a little thing, but she had the power to change his life – and she had been changing it ever since her mother chose him to raise her. He looked into her eyes and saw a world of possibilities that he couldn't wait to get to explore. He had never felt so full before, like he was about to burst with joy and pride. This was the best decision he had ever made.

With a wobbly smile of sheer bliss, Kurt looked around, wanting to share this amazing moment with someone, but soon realized, there was no one to share it with.

He pressed his lips to his daughter's forehead very delicately in a kiss and told himself it didn't matter – right here in his arms, he had everything he could ever possibly need.

*

Kurt followed the nurse to the maternity wing, where they wanted to keep the baby for a few hours so they could make sure everything was okay. He had to constantly remind himself to look up from the sleeping baby in his arms as not to bump into anything on the way. The nurse turned and grinned at him knowingly several times.

They settled the baby into a transparent crib. The nurse grabbed a card and a pen from her desk and showed them to Kurt.

“I will write her name here, so the nurses who come after me recognize her,” she explained. “Do we have a name for her yet?”

Kurt stared at the baby for a moment, resisting the urge to touch her toes, not wanting to wake her up. “Penelope. Penelope Hummel.”

He had been struggling to find a perfect baby name all these months, and none had seemed the right one. But now, as he looked at her, he just knew. This was his Penelope, the one he would go to the ends of the earth for. His whole life had led to this moment, to having her here with him – a true odyssey, filled with doubts, heartbreak, and loneliness, none of which mattered now. She had managed to erase all of it as soon as her first cry had been released into the world.

While the nurse wrote the card, Kurt snapped a picture of the sleeping baby in her crib with his phone. He sent it in a message to his dad, Finn, Santana and Rachel. The four of them would take care of spreading the news to anyone else who needed to know.

Under the picture, he typed: Hello, I'm Penelope Hummel and I can't wait to meet my new family!

He almost sent it to Blaine, before he realized Blaine would never want to know about this. He sighed, and turned back to his daughter, not willing to let anything at all ruin this wonderful day.

*

It wasn't long before Burt Hummel was calling and practically screaming and bursting into tears on the other end. Kurt actually had to put some distance between his ear and the phone, afraid he would be deaf.

Burt, Carole, Finn, Marley, and the kids were all coming to New York to spend Christmas with Kurt, so they would be meeting Penelope very soon. It still didn't seem to be soon enough for Burt, though.

“I can change my plane ticket,” he said immediately. “I can be there tomorrow, and help you with her until you get used to…”

“Dad,” Kurt interrupted softly, as he leaned over the crib to watch his sleeping daughter. Oh god, she was adorable. “It's okay. You'll be here in less than a week. I'm sure Rachel, Dani and Santana will give me a hand in the meantime if I need anything. But to be honest… I just want to have her all for myself for a few days.”

“Okay, if you really are sure…” Burt muttered, a little reluctantly. There was a pause, which Kurt didn't really notice, busy as he was staring at his little girl. “I'm so proud of you, Kurt. I know most of us weren't very supportive in the beginning, but… you have always known what you want and how to get it. You're going to be an amazing dad. That little princess is so lucky to have you already.”

Kurt felt a few tears sliding down his cheeks and he wiped them carefully. “Thanks, Dad.”

It wasn't long after his father said goodbye when the first visitors arrived. There was a little knock on the nursery's glass, and Kurt looked up to find Santana, Dani and Rachel standing there, smiling at him.

He walked into the hallway to greet them. They immediately wrapped him in a tight hug and congratulated him on his brand new parenthood. Then they pressed their faces against the glass so they could find Penelope.

“That one,” Kurt said proudly, pointing to the crib near the wall. “Isn't she precious?”

“Oh, Kurt…” Rachel murmured, covering her mouth with her hands. “Oh, she's beautiful…”

Before they could say anything else, Penelope started to move, until her eyes opened and stared at the ceiling for just one second, instantly wailing. Kurt startled, and the nurse gestured as if to ask him if he wanted to take over. He didn't need to be asked twice – he rushed into the nursery, followed by his friends, even though he hadn't had time to ask if they were allowed in there.

He sat on a chair and the nurse put the baby in his arms. “She's probably hungry,” she said. “Would you like to try to feed her?”

“Yes, of course, I would love that,” Kurt replied eagerly.

The nurse left them so she could make her formula, and the girls crowded around him to look at the baby.

“Oh look at those cute pouty lips,” Dani said, holding onto Santana's arm.

“And her hair!” Rachel exclaimed, almost squealing. “Hi, Penelope! We're your aunts!”

Santana hadn't said anything yet, but she crouched so she could be face level with the baby, and Kurt could see the hint of a smile trying to appear on his lips. Her face was softer than it usually was.

“She's perfect,” Santana finally muttered, and looked up at Kurt, letting the smile take over her face. “Congratulations, Kurt.”

“Thanks, Santana,” he answered, a little surprised.

She delicately grabbed the baby's hand, and Penelope closed her fist around one of her fingers. “Oh,” Santana said, breathless.

Penelope let go of her when the nurse handed the bottle to Kurt, who followed her instructions until the baby had latched onto the silicone nipple and was sucking earnestly. Santana straightened up, and wrapped one arm around her wife's waist.

“Maybe we could have one of those,” she whispered, looking peaceful and gentle in a way it was very weird to see her. “She doesn't look so bad…”

Dani's eyes filled with tears, and simply nodded, before pressing a kiss against Santana's cheek.

Kurt was distracted for a moment watching his daughter eat, but then looked up at his friends and spoke in a soft voice, not wanting to interrupt Penelope's lunch. “Santana, could you get me the number of that flower shop where you usually buy the bouquets for Dani's birthday? I want to send Tanya something.”

“Sure,” Santana, said, still a bit lost in her wife.

“How is Tanya doing?” Rachel asked, leaning against the armrest so she could watch Penelope too.

“I don't know,” Kurt replied, feeling horrible about it. But he had to respect Tanya's decision. “She decided not to meet the baby, and she said it was best if we said goodbye at the delivery room. But I feel awful about it, and even though some flowers aren't going to be enough considering what she's given me, I think I have to do something.”

“That would be nice of you,” Dani smiled at him.

“What are you going to do about Blaine?” Santana asked, making him snap his eyes up at her.

“What? What do you mean?” Kurt frowned.

“Are you going to tell him about this?” Santana shrugged, as if it was obvious that he should. “Maybe he wants to know.”

“We broke up,” Kurt said, for what felt like the millionth time. He turned his attention back to his daughter. “I don't want to talk about it anymore. In case you haven't noticed, I have something right here that means a lot more to me than the man I wasn't smart enough to appreciate. It's time to move on.”

“Except you miss him…” Santana added, and Dani nudged her with her elbow, as if to quieten her. “What? It's true!”

“I just want to focus on Penny now,” Kurt said, not being able to stop the smile that bloomed on his face as Penelope tried to follow the bottle when he pulled it away to wipe at her chin.

Santana would have said more, but Kurt was in a world far away already, and he wouldn't listen.

He had always been stubborn like that.

*

Blaine was peeling his gloves off and stepping off the ring when he heard the slightly familiar voice.

“Oh, the smell in this place just reminded me why I'm a lesbian. Do these guys never shower?”

Glancing over his shoulder, he found Santana Lopez parading into the gym in red stilettos with a ten-inch heel that matched her pencil skirt and peplum jacket – she looked incredibly out of place there, and it wasn't long before every men in the gym turned around to watch her. Her fiery eyes settled on Blaine, though, and she moved straight towards him, not bothering to acknowledge anyone else, not even the other two women that followed shortly after her. Dani and Rachel were exchanging worried glances, but as soon as they saw him, Rachel became terrifyingly determined, and Dani sighed, as if in resignation.

This couldn't be good.

Blaine wiped his sweat with his forearm and then pressed his hands on his hips, trying to look calm and collected. “Ladies. How odd to find you here.”

“Well, you know, there's nowhere better to hang out on a Tuesday afternoon than in a disgusting gym filled with filthy guys in need of a shower,” Santana said sharply, and then turned around to raise an eyebrow to the group of guys who had gathered to watch the scene. “Can I help you with anything?”

The coldness in her voice was enough to make the guys scatter quickly. She really was an impressive woman. Blaine actually recoiled a little when she turned back to him.

“We were hoping to talk to you,” Rachel said earnestly. “It's about Kurt.”

Blaine hesitated. Don't ask about him, don't ask about him, don't… “Is he okay?” Damn it.

“He's fine, don't worry,” Dani reassured him quickly, and Blaine hadn't noticed he had become tense until he relaxed after her words.

“But he would be a lot better with a regular sex schedule…” Santana retorted, earning a very angry glare from her wife that made her sigh and give up. “Fine. We're just concerned about him. Since you two broke up…”

“I don't think that's any of your business,” Blaine interrupted. He wasn't on the mood to talk about this, and even if the girls had nothing but good intentions, he just wanted to put everything behind him and move on.

If only Kurt Hummel weren't so difficult to forget…

“Look, shorty, if my friend is miserable, then it's my business,” Santana said, pointing at him with her finger, getting it so close to his face that he was scared she would pop his eye out with those long, sharp fingernails. “He's too much of an idiot to admit that he misses you, and that he loves you, but I'm sick of watching him suffer in silence and pretend nothing's wrong when people are looking at him. For a guy who had enough talent to be on Broadway, he sure as hell isn't that good of an actor…”

“What Santana is trying to say,” Rachel intervened, elbowing her friend in the ribs, “is that Kurt obviously hasn't been able to recover from your break up. He claims to be okay, but…”

“You're his best friends,” Blaine said, shrugging, and pretending not to care was one of the hardest things he had ever done. “I'm sure you can find a way to cheer him up. Now, if you excuse me, I have a training session scheduled in ten minutes and I have to…”

“Blaine, please,” Dani said softly. “We know you're hurt too, we know what he said to you and how things ended. We're not defending Kurt – what he did was wrong. He should have been honest with you from the beginning. But we've also known him for longer than you have, and we have never seen him like this. He didn't tell you because he was scared to lose you, and for the first time in years, he's found a guy worth keeping…”

Blaine stared at them open-mouthed. “I can't believe you three. Don't you think that it's Kurt who is supposed to be here telling me this? Don't you think that if he truly cared about me, he would have done something to show me that? He's pushed me aside more than he ever let me in. I wasn't good enough to be part of his perfect little family, so he made a distraction out of me…”

“Oh my god, you're giving me a headache,” Santana rolled her eyes impatiently. “Are you always this whiny or is the lack of sex getting to you?”

“Santana…”

“No, Dani, he needs to hear this,” Santana put a hand up to stop her wife. “He doesn't need me to be all gentle and sweet. He needs me to be a bitch who tells him things the way they are, and here's what you need to know, Anderson: Kurt is head over heels in love with you. He's a stupid coward who thinks you're better off without him, especially now that he has a kid. He's got it into his head that being a dad means he can't have you, that he can't have anybody, and it's not only pathetic, it's insane. But he had already signed the adoption papers when he met you, and he didn't want to back down – it took a long time for him to realize you weren't just having a good time and leaving him when you were done with him. You can thank all the other assholes he dated for the past decade for that insecurity…” She took a step closer, backing him against the ring's ropes. “We tried talking to him but he won't listen. All that fucking hairspray probably polluted his head and he can't grasp a concept as simple as stop-being-such-a-wussy-and-get-the-man-you-love-back. So if you want things to work, you're going to have to do all the work yourself.”

“Wait,” Blaine muttered, once she paused enough for him to interject. “You mean the baby was born?”

“Yes, a couple of days ago,” Dani replied with a smile. “He took her home today.”

“It's a girl?” Blaine asked, and there was no denying the little spark in his eyes.

“Her name is Penelope,” Rachel explained, reaching to squeeze his hand briefly. “She's such a cute little thing.”

Blaine said nothing for a moment, as the three women looked at him, expectantly. What was he supposed to do? They were more difficult opponents than the ones he was used to facing on the ring.

“Look, I…” He said weakly, and ran his hand through his head, nervously. “The truth is I don't think I can be the kind of man Kurt deserves. He's looking for someone to raise a family with, and I have enough to deal with in my life, so I…”

“We all have shit to deal with, Blaine,” Santana interrupted. “But if we let that get in the way of everything else, then what's the point in living at all? I had plenty of shit to deal with when I met her,” she glanced towards Dani and smiled softly. “And when I saw her, not only everything that was wrong seemed to suddenly become less relevant, it also made me realize I didn't have to fight against the world by myself.”

It wasn't usual to see Santana like that, and Blaine was aware that he was witnessing a sort of miracle, especially from the way the other two were staring at her.

She seemed to notice that, because she cleared her throat and glared at him again. “So. Are you going to stop being such an idiot? Or are you just going to prove yourself right and be the kind of man who is a champion on the ring, but not out of it, where it really counts?”

Blaine swallowed with difficulty, and felt like he couldn't breathe. Santana looked at him for a moment, as if making sure her point had come across, and then turned on her heels and walked out of the gym as suddenly as she had arrived. Rachel and Dani stayed back for just another second, and gave him a hopeful smile, before going after her.

Blaine stayed rooted to his spot, long after they were gone, as Santana's words echoed in his head over and over and over again.

He couldn't think of anything else for the rest of the day.

*