Name: Kurt Hummel.

Age: 30.

Occupation: Wedding planner.

Place of residence: New York.

Marital status:

Kurt paused and bit his lip anxiously. Everyone told him he was making a mistake. Everyone told him he still had lots of time. He could wait. He was young. But Kurt had a huge void inside of him and didnt want to wait for some random stranger who might never show up.

Husband or not, Kurt Hummel was ready to start his family.

He wrote the word single in the blank space and continued with the rest of the form. Once he was done entering all his personal information, he moved on to the rest – about his financial status, his residence, and his medical background. Kurt reviewed the very thorough questionnaire a hundred times, to ensure he didn't screw anything up.

Life hadnt turned out the way Kurt had expected. Only living in the city of his dreams had gone according to plan. He was a wedding planner, instead of becoming a star on a Broadway stage or pursuing a career in fashion. He was disappointingly single, with a collection of exes and failed dates he wished he could forget about. He still lived in a shoebox apartment in SoHo, when he thought he would have moved to a nice brownstone somewhere quieter where he and his husband could raise a family. But there was no husband in the picture and his bedroom could barely fit a queen size bed; he couldnt open the fridge in the kitchen unless he was almost sitting on top of the counter, and the shower was practically claustrophobia inducing.

Until now, those things hadnt really bothered him. He had lived in this apartment for years now and it was conveniently close to work. But as soon as he started trying to figure out how to fit a crib between the couch and his work table, he realized it was time to find a new place.

He was financially stable, and could easily afford a two-bedroom apartment in a nice area. His small but successful wedding planning company was thriving, busier every week. Currently, he was working with five different couples to create their perfect wedding day. It was a lot of work, and it demanded a lot of late nights, but the money was steady and he knew he would be able to balance being a father on top of everything else.

A father. A dad. He had dreamed of this for years, made lists with baby names and tried picturing what his son or daughter would look like a million times. He imagined taking his kid to the park on Sundays. He imagined himself sewing Halloween costumes and dresses for dolls and uniforms for the baseball team. He imagined Christmas - the way his kids face would light up with the magic of it, how they would make snowmen and bake cookies together. He imagined bedtime stories and cuddling on the couch watching Disney movies...

Kurt kept imagining more and more scenarios, and his smile went bigger and bigger with each of them. He wanted to be a dad. It was time. Even if he had no one to share it with.

His best friend, Rachel, told him he was insane. She had a one-year-old girl that demanded every second of her day. She had decided to stay home until Lilah was old enough to go to kindergarten, and giving up her career had been a tough choice. But she had a husband who could easily provide for them, Rachel kept reminding him. Kurt couldnt allow himself the luxury of missing work if he had a new, tiny little mouth to feed.

His brother, Finn, was a teacher back in Ohio and had looked at Kurt with huge eyes when Kurt told him about his decision during one of their Skype calls. He and his wife Marley had twin boys, five-year-olds that drove them crazy constantly.

"Kurt, its hard work. Both Marley and I have jobs, there have been toys spread all over the house since the boys were born, and I dont think weve had time for ourselves since she was pregnant. It's tough. I mean, I cant tell you what to do, but I dont want you to make a decision based on how cute a baby is. And doing it on your own... you saw how hard it was for our parents to raise us on their own..."

"There are plenty of single parents out there, Finn," Kurt had said patiently. "I wouldnt be the first or the last guy on earth to do this without someone else around to help me out. Im not saying its going to be easy, because I know itll be hard, but... I just really want it. And what if I never find the right guy? What if I wait and wait for him, and he doesnt show up? I want to be young enough to enjoy every stage in my babys life. I dont want to be fifty when I finally get to send him or her to kindergarten..."

Desperate for understanding and approval, Kurt turned to the one person who never let him down. His father was quiet for a very long time after Kurt announced what he was planning to do, and Kurt fidgeted with the phone glued to his ear, nervously.

"Are you sure, Kurt?" Burt Hummel had asked carefully. "I mean, I trust your judgment if you say youre ready and you can handle it, but you have to know how tough it is to go through something as wonderful as parenthood without someone to share it with. After your mother died, and you did something I was particularly proud of, I would turn my head to tell her about it, but she wasnt there. Theres not going to be anyone to share all the firsts with, or anyone to help you out during the hard times. Its difficult and challenging enough to have the responsibility of raising a child, keeping them healthy and happy and fed, when its two people who do it together. Doing it on your own means youll barely have a second to yourself, your career will have to come second to every single one of your childs demands and needs, and your dating life... if you think youre having trouble finding a good guy now, just wait until they find out they would be getting two for the price of one..."

So maybe Burt hadnt been half as encouraging as Kurt had expected him to be. But Kurt knew, deep within him, how right this felt. So despite everyones warnings and reservations, Kurt had stopped by the adoption agency to get his application forms.

Kurt Hummel was going to be a dad, and if the love of his life ever found him, he would have to accept that.

*

It was a Tuesday morning when Kurt stopped by the Adoption Center on 23rd street to drop off his application, nervous and excited in equal proportions, trying to suppress his impatience, because it could be months before he started his family. But now he was one step closer.

When he arrived at the bar he regularly frequented on Tuesday nights after work, he had to bite his lip not to blurt the news to his girlfriends as soon as he dropped onto their table. Santana was talking anyway – something about a client she had almost murdered that day, nothing out of the ordinary – and he didn't want to be rude.

Every week, he, Rachel, Santana and her wife Dani got together to unwind with a drink or two. Tuesdays were the perfect days because drinks were half-off, they still had most of the week ahead so they needed something to keep them going, and Rachel's husband, Will, had a late start on Wednesday mornings, so he could stay up with their daughter and wait for Rachel to get home.

Kurt ordered a glass of white wine while Santana finished her story, and relaxed against the back of his seat, stretching his legs under the table. It had been a very long day, with several dress fittings for a bride and her bridesmaids, and a tasting with a catering company for another wedding. It had been difficult staying focused when he wanted to shout from the rooftops that he was finally doing what he had always dreamed of doing.

Santana finally finished telling the story of how she had almost eviscerated a man – something that was less and less impressive every day, since she constantly seemed to be threatening that – and turned to Kurt, acknowledging his presence at last.

“What's up, Lady Lips? How was your day?”

Kurt rolled his eyes at the nickname, already used to Santana's ways. “Long, but good…”

Rachel leaned over the table, resting her chin on her palm and staring at him. “There's something different about you… it's like you're glowing or something…”

“Oh my god, did you get some?” Santana asked, suddenly a lot more interested. “Who was it? Where was it? Give me all the dirty details.”

“I didn't have sex with anyone, Santana,” Kurt huffed impatiently. “Why does it always have to be about sex? Can't I be happy about something else?”

“Well, considering how long it's been, I'm pretty sure you need to find some and be happy about it, Hummel,” Santana replied, arching her eyebrow.

“You know, it's kind of creepy that you're keeping count of my sexual encounters. You need a new hobby,” Kurt retorted, taking a sip from his wine and enjoying the warmth it spread through him.

Santana opened her mouth to answer, but Dani shushed her before she even had the chance to speak. “So? What is it? Good day at work?”

Kurt bit his lip and almost couldn't hold the squeal of excitement that was threatening to escape him. “I dropped the application at the adoption center today!”

There was a slightly awkward silence. Rachel and Santana exchanged glances, and only Dani smiled brightly at him.

“Oh, Kurt!” She exclaimed, reaching for his hand and squeezing hard. “That's amazing! Congratulations!”

“Thank you, Dani,” he said, truly touched. He squeezed her hand back before turning to the other two. “You think I'm making a mistake, don't you?”

“Well, not exactly, but…” Rachel started to say carefully, but Santana interrupted her.

“Yup, biggest mistake of your life,” she said, leaning back on her seat and crossing her arms over her chest. “You are an idiot, Hummel. You are going to throw your life away. Why do you need a kid right now? If you're lonely, get a cat. Or better, get a freaking boyfriend. It's impressive how hard it is for you to actually find a man, considering your field of work. You help people get married every single week, and yet you can't even get to a second date? If you suck that bad at relationships, what makes you think you can handle raising a child? You'll be regretting this as soon as that little spawn of Satan throws up on your favorite Gucci shoes…”

Kurt frowned at her, his fingers tightening around his glass. “Why are you being so cold-hearted?”

“I just don't think you've thought this through. You work too much, you barely go out, and you haven't had sex in like a year. A baby is going to make everything complicated. You're still young! Why are you rushing into this?” She asked, and she sounded genuinely curious.

“I know I'm still young. I know most people won't understand why I need to do this. I just know I want it, Santana,” he explained softly. God, he had been so happy five minutes ago. He knew his friends didn't understand why he was doing this, but he was hoping they would be happy for him regardless. “I'm not an idiot who thinks this is going to be a piece of cake. I'm sure there will be days when I'll wonder if I made a mistake… but deep down inside, I know that I'm going to love my kid too much to ever regret it. I don't care if the baby throws up on all of my shoes or if I have to be up all night.”

“We're just worried, sweetie,” Rachel said in a soothing voice. “It's such a big step…”

“I know it is. That's why I was hoping I would be able to count on you guys. You're my girls,” Kurt pouted, something that should have looked pathetic but actually still worked after all these years. “I want to be a dad my own father can be proud of. He had to raise me practically on his own. I don't need anybody either…”

“But you want to find a man one day,” Rachel replied. “And you know it's going to be harder if you have a kid…”

“Everyone says so,” Kurt said tiredly. “But the way I see it… having a kid will help me be more careful about the guys I date. I'm too old to date douchebags with no future… I'm too old for one-night-stands. I want a guy who's here to stay…”

“Well, you sure as hell aren't helping them want to stay,” Santana said sharply, but when Dani glared at her, she sighed. “Fine. I do support you, Kurt, even if I think you're insane. I don't know what you want a kid for. If you want something tiny and adorable to dress up in ridiculous outfits that will match your equally ridiculous outfits, just get a freaking Chihuahua, okay?”

“Sometimes I forget why I hang out with you,” Kurt downed the rest of his wine and signaled the waitress to get him another one.

“Because I'm fantastic and I keep it real,” Santana shrugged as if it was the most obvious thing on Earth.

“Ignore her,” Dani muttered. “She likes to think she's all tough and insensitive, but as soon as she gets within reach of that kid of yours, she's going to melt.”

“Look guys, I…” Kurt paused and looked down at the glass of wine the waitress had just set on the table for him. He took a deep breath. “It feels like we are always waiting for something to happen so we can live our life, or look for our happiness, or search for the one thing that will make us complete. Why do we have to wait? When do you stop waiting? Who says you have to follow a certain list of steps before you can get exactly where you want to go? I wanna be a dad. I've known that for a long time. And when I realized I didn't need a husband for that, when I realized I could actually do it alone… it felt right. And yeah, I'm scared. It's a scary thing, but everything wonderful is worth taking a risk…”

Rachel's smile softened. “You're right. And I, for one, will be there for you every step of the way. I can give you parenting tips whenever you need them.”

“Thanks, Rach,” he chuckled, leaning closer to kiss her cheek.

“Santana and I can babysit,” Dani said excitedly. “We'll be the cool aunts who get to spoil the kid while you're working late or on a hot date.”

“Hey, I want to be a cool aunt, too!” Rachel protested.

“You'll never be cool, Berry. You have to reborn to even have the chance to be cool, and it's still not guaranteed,” Santana said, but when Dani nudged her with her elbow and gave her a meaningful look, she sighed. “Fine. I'll be nice. I have no idea why you'd want to put yourself through all this, but…”

“Oh come on, San,” Dani cut her off. “A baby! Wouldn't that be adorable? Can't you picture us with a baby, too?”

Santana's gaze softened in that way it only did around her wife. She moved in for a quick kiss and stroked Dani's blonde hair. “Yeah… I can totally picture us, especially you. You'd be such a beautiful mom…”

The way they were looking into each other's eyes very intently told Kurt and Rachel they were lost to the world for the next few minutes, so Kurt turned to his best friend.

“I don't want to get too excited, though. I mean, I don't even know if this will happen relatively soon or not…” he explained nervously. “It all depends on whether one of the birthmothers picks me. There are literally thousands of potential parents, so… this could take years.”

“Let's be positive, okay?” Rachel said, grabbing his hand. “It'll happen when it's supposed to happen. And in the meantime, you can start getting ready for it…”

“I'm glad you brought that up, because I actually want to move to a new place,” Kurt said, causing Dani and Santana to snap out of their trance and focus back on the other two. “I would like a three bedroom apartment, maybe near a park so I can take the baby out for a walk often. Looking for the perfect new home will keep me distracted from waiting for news, too. So…”

Rachel sighed in contentment and looked around the table. “Can you guys believe how far we've gone? Kurt is going to be a dad, Santana and Dani are married, and I have a wonderful husband and a perfect little girl… back in high school, we thought we would end up alone…”

Santana opened her mouth to make a remark that would surely be sharp, slightly hurtful and crude, but Dani knew her well. She raised her glass before her wife could say anything.

“To us! May we keep proving our high school selves wrong!”

They all drank to that.

*

One of the things Santana had said that night haunted Kurt for weeks, though he usually took everything she said with a grain of salt. She tended to be a bitch most of the time. Though Kurt knew she was a good person deep down inside, it didn't change the fact that she was rude and heartless at least a ninety percent of the time. But there was really something that he couldn't ignore – it was certainly ironic that he was a wedding planner who made his living giving people their happily ever afters, but he couldn't find one for himself.

Kurt had accepted that love wasn't as easy as movies made it look. Life always seemed to get in the way somehow, and even though he tried to be open to dating and meeting new people, he hadn't yet found anyone he was interested in staying with long term. His longest relationship had made it to almost two years, and by the end of it, he felt so little for the guy he was supposed to be madly in love with that he couldn't exactly remember how they had ended it.

When he was just a kid back in Ohio, dreaming of living in a big city where he could be himself, Kurt had naively believed that as soon as he arrived in New York, things would magically change. He would find people just like him, and the love of his life would be around the corner. But as the years went by, he had learned that real life didn't work that way, his relationships proving less than stellar. It came to a point where he was a lot more interested in working late than going home to his boyfriend or going out on a date with a new guy.

The surprising thing was, however, that Kurt wasn't bitter about it in the slightest. He didn't need a man to be happy, and even though it would be nice to have someone to love who would love him right back, he had learned to enjoy his life without it. And that was why he didn't think he truly needed to be in a very long, committed relationship before thinking of parenthood – he could have a baby, even if he had no one to share all the amazing moments and responsibilities with.

It was a scary, wonderful thing to do, and Kurt was convinced that it was the best decision he had ever made.

Now he just needed to wait.

*

Kurt was walking down 43rd street in a hurry. He had a couple of binders in his arms and an umbrella hanging from his elbow in anticipation for the imminent rain. He was meeting a new vendor for a new wedding he had booked – the bride had changed her mind about the flowers at the last possible minute and his usual vendors didn't have the rare type of orchid she demanded. Times like this, Kurt wished for the boring customers who wanted white roses.

He was grateful it was almost Tuesday night, because a nice relaxing drink with his girls sounded like exactly what he needed.

Kurt cursed under his breath when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He hurried toward the Starbucks just down the street, but his phone stopped just as he pushed the door open. He dumped all his binders and the umbrella on a vacant table and huffed in annoyance as he fished the phone out of his back pocket.

Kurt hoped the missed call from an unrecognized number wasn't the venue he was trying to book for the Carter wedding. The nightmarish future Mrs. Carter had demanded to know by the end of the day whether the venue of her dreams. Kurt had had to call in a lot of favors to even get the owners to consider moving a few things around so they could fit the wedding in. Kurt knew that if he pulled this off, he would feel invincible.

Just as he was trying to decide if he had time for a cup of coffee, the phone began to vibrate once again, insistently. Kurt grabbed his satchel and looked for his planner as he took a seat and accepted the call.

“Kurt Hummel speaking,” he said, all business-like.

“Mr. Hummel? My name's Karen White. I'm calling from the Adoption Center,” she announced, and Kurt's heart stopped, his hand freezing inside his satchel where he was trying to find a pen.

“I… Hi!” He exclaimed dumbly. Oh my god, what if they tell me no one wants me? What if they tell me I'm not a good match for any babies? What if they tell me I'm not meant to be a dad?

“I'm calling because we may have some good news for you. One of the women in our system was very interested in your application and would like to meet with you,” she informed him calmly, but Kurt felt that his heart was racing more and more in his chest with every word she said. “We were hoping we could arrange a little meeting for this week?”

“Yes, yes, that would be fantastic,” Kurt said immediately. He had believed he would have to wait months, maybe even years, before someone contacted him about a potential adoption, but it hadn't even been two months. He hadn't even had time to look for a new apartment yet…

“Are you free tomorrow? Let's say… at two in the afternoon?” Karen asked.

Kurt flipped through his planner. He had a very busy week – the McKinnon wedding was next week and there were a million things to do before then. But suddenly, he realized this was the first time his commitment was being put to the test. He would have to choose between work and his baby a million times over. What was he going to choose?

“Tomorrow at two is perfect,” he said, making a quick note that he needed to move some appointments around.

Karen gave him a few more details before she hung up. Kurt dropped the phone onto the planner and took a deep breath, his lungs immediately filling with coffee-scented air. He looked around the busy coffee shop, and fought to stop himself from squealing in excitement.

Maybe it wasn't so far-fetched to believe that his dreams could come true.