Saying Kurt was worried was an immense understatement. When an hour passed and Blaine still wasn't home, he started freaking out. When midnight rolled around, he was ready to start calling in hospitals. He had already called the theatre but no one had answered the phone. He had turned the TV on and watched the news to see if there was a problem with the subway, but gave him any clues that explained why Blaine wasn't home yet.

He wanted to go out and look for him, but Burt and Carole told him it was better to wait at home, that Blaine had probably gotten caught up with something at work, that he would be there any minute now and that there was no point in Kurt leaving the apartment in the middle of the night.

They didn't even look convinced themselves, though.

It was freezing outside.

Kurt eventually told them to go to bed, but only after he insisted endlessly did they comply. He stayed in the living room for a bit longer, but then he went into his room and closed the door behind him. He was so scared. What if something had happened to Blaine? What if he was hurt and alone somewhere, the victim of a mugging or a drive by shooting? Oh, if he had stayed late at work without letting him know, he was going to kill him…

At some point during his internal monologue full of fear and anxiety, he fell asleep, clutching Blaine's pillow tightly to his chest.

His last concious thought was that he was probably going to wake up in Blaine's arms anyway…

Blaine hadn't forgotten how raw and cruel the cold nights were, though he had tried to put the memories out of his mind while he was sheltered in Kurt's apartment. For the briefest of moments he had allowed himself to fantasize about not ever having to go back to living in the streets, about building a life somewhere, maybe even with someone who loved him…

Now he knew he would never have that. He needed to quit dreaming.

He tightened the coat around him, trying not to think about how it was Kurt's and not his. Everything he was wearing was Kurt's. His stupid heart was, too.

He had ended up going back to the subway station and hiding there until he was sure no one was going to kick him out. Then, he had found a bench (hard and uncomfortable, so different from Kurt's warm bed full of pillows and silky sheets) and tried to get some sleep.

He couldn't.

How had he thought someone like Kurt would love someone like him?

He closed his eyes and he tried to ignore the cold chilling him to the core and the freezing tears trailing down his cheeks. He should've known he would end up like this. He should've known the streets would always be the only home he'd know.

When Kurt woke up to find Blaine's side of the bed still empty, he panicked worse than he had in his life.

Where had Blaine spent the night? Was he safe? Had something terrible happened to him? He already knew something really bad was going on. Nothing else would keep Blaine away from him, from holding him in his arms. But… maybe he'd come home late and slept on the couch because his parents were there. Yes, that was something Blaine definitely would do.

He jumped out of bed, running to the kitchen, hoping to see him there, desperately clinging to his last hope …

But Carole was the only one in the kitchen. She looked at him, expectantly, when he walked in, but as soon as she saw the devastated expression in his face, she understood. "Oh honey, I'm sure he's okay…"

"I have no idea where he could be…" Kurt looked out the window. It was snowing and New York was awake and moving under the blanket of white.

"We should try going to the theatre," Carole proposed, as energetically as she could. "Maybe they know something there."

"Yeah," Kurt nodded, grateful for some kind of action. "I better get dressed. I'll go right now."

"Okay, dear," Carole gave him a reassuring smile.

For the first time in his life, Kurt didn't care what clothes he was putting on. He found some yoga pants and a hoodie and threw them on, before grabbing a random scarf and a coat. He didn't even style his hair.

All he cared about was finding Blaine.

"Your father is in the shower," Carole informed him when Kurt came out of his room again. "I'll let him know we're leaving."

"No, no, it's okay," Kurt shook his head. He didn't want to wait anymore. "Stay here with him. Call me if Blaine comes home."

"Kurt, you shouldn't be alone right now," Carole bit her lip, worried.

"I'll be okay," Kurt said, as he slipped out the door without even looking back.

The elevator seemed to take forever that day. The annoying music coming from the speakers was making Kurt more and more nervous as the time passed in slow motion. When he reached the lobby, he almost sighed in relief. He felt like a caged animal who couldn't stay still anymore.

He was about to reach the front door when a voice stopped him. "Mr. Hummel!"

Kurt turned around to find the doorman walking towards him from his desk. "Yes?"

"The, uhm, gentleman who was staying with you asked me to give you this," the man said, pulling a little note out of his pocket.

Kurt's heart beat so fast that he could feel it everywhere in his body. "Blaine was here? How long ago?"

"Twenty minutes, perhaps," he answered politely. "He told me to give you this as soon as I saw you."

"Thank you," Kurt muttered absently. What was this about? Blaine had been there? Why hadn't he gone up to their apartment? What the hell was going on?

The doorman nodded at him and went back to his desk. Kurt stared at the piece of paper in his hands for a moment before he unfolded it. Blaine's handwriting seemed rushed and a bit sloppy.

Kurt,

I'll never be able to thank you enough for everything you did for me. I won't ever forget how kind and generous you were. But I don't need anyone's pity, so I think it's better if we go our different ways.

Thank you, again. I hope I can pay you back someday.

Blaine.

Kurt was breathing harshly. He turned the paper over, looking for more, but that was it. That was Blaine's note. That was all there was to Blaine's goodbye… but why? Why was he gone? What made him walk away so suddenly, when they'd been so happy? What was he talking about?

It didn't sound like Blaine.

Blaine wouldn't leave him with no explanation.

"Mr. Hummel, are you feeling alright?" The doorman asked, but Kurt couldn't hear him. He turned around and ran back to the elevator.

I don't need anyone's pity.

I don't need anyone's pity.

Just because you feel pity for him doesn't mean you need to let him into your home.

Kurt opened the door to his apartment with much more force than he had intended to, making the door crash into the wall and rebound. He was shaking uncontrollably and he was sure there were tears in his eyes. His numb body was suddenly overtaken by cold and he knew the only way to make the cold go away was to be wrapped in Blaine's arms…

He entered the kitchen at the same time Burt did, fresh from his shower. Carole was staring at him with wide eyes.

"It's your fault!" Kurt exploded, his anger making his voice higher than he had ever heard it.

"What?" Burt asked, confused. "What are you talking about, kiddo?"

"You scared him away! You made him feel like he wasn't welcomed here! You made him believe I felt nothing but pity for him!" Kurt screamed, furious and devastated all at the same time. "He must have heard you last night! That's the only explanation!"

"Kurt, what happened?" Carole took a step towards him.

Kurt threw Blaine's note towards his dad. "We were both happy for the first time in forever and you ruined it. You took him away from me. You had no right, dad, no right…"

Burt was staring at the note. He looked at his son, sadly. "Kurt, I didn't mean to…"

"What if I can't find him now?" Kurt asked, brokenly. "What if he's out there living on the street with nothing to eat and nowhere to sleep? What if something happens to him?"

"I'm sure he's fine, Kurt," Carole assured him as soothingly as she could. "He's a big boy and he knows the city so well…"

Kurt shook his head. They didn't understand. They didn't feel how Blaine's absence made his chest tighten in pain, how everything seemed to lose meaning. It had been just a few weeks of living together, but Kurt knew now that this apartment wasn't his home if Blaine wasn't in it, too.

The only reason Blaine had gone to work was because he knew that he couldn't risk losing his job. Maybe he didn't have a place to live, or money to eat everyday, but now that he had a job, he had the possibility of getting that one day. So being heartbroken wasn't an excuse to let go altogether.

That didn't mean he didn't feel dead inside, though.

He sat in the box office kiosk, staring out at the cars and the people passing by, all of them busy, just rushing through life, without stopping to think for a minute to realize how easily it could all be gone in the blink of an eye. He tried to keep himself distracted by watching them, hoping to forget about the aching void in his chest and in his stomach.

Blaine ran a hand over his face, rubbing at his tired eyes. He hadn't been able to sleep at all the previous night…

The heavenly scent of coffee suddenly filled his nostrils and Blaine looked up, to find a Starbucks paper cup on the other side of his window. But it was the man holding it out to him that was really unexpected.

"Looks like you need some caffeine, if you ask me," Burt said nonchalantly.

"Mr. Hummel…" Blaine muttered awkwardly. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, of course," Burt answered, shrugging. "You missed dinner last night."

Blaine swallowed. What was he supposed to say? "Listen, I… I'm really grateful for everything Kurt did for me, but we all know I can't stay with him forever…"

"Is that because you heard me saying something stupid, about a guy I don't even know?" Burt asked and Blaine blushed.

"Well, yes. I got to the apartment and I heard you all talking. I'm sorry I eavesdropped. I didn't mean to. But it was probably just what I needed…" Blaine shifted uncomfortably in his seat and hoped his boss would walk in or a customer might show up to buy some tickets. He needed an excuse to end this terribly uncomfortable conversation with Burt.

"So, you're saying that just because you heard a stupid, old man like me say some crap, you walked away from Kurt? That's not very smart of you, Blaine."

"He's better off without me," Blaine started toying with a pen on his desk, trying desperately to suppress the tears prickling behind his eyes, threatening to fall any second.

"Oh, yeah?" Burt leaned closer until his face was almost against the glass that separated them. "Then why is he locked up in the bathroom crying his eyes out and hating me right now?"

"I…" Blaine paused and looked up at the other man with wide eyes. "What?"

"He cares a lot about you, Blaine," Burt muttered softly.

He averted his gaze, feeling a lump in his throat. "He feels sorry for me."

Burt sighed. "You can think whatever you want to think, buddy, but I know my son better than anyone else knows him. He needs you and not because he feels bad for you…"

"Why would he need me?" Blaine sniffled without being able to help himself. "He's got everything he could ever wish for."

"Yeah, he's got it all, except for someone to share it with, someone to love and who loves him back," Burt said, putting the coffee cup down on the other side of the glass. He didn't say anything else, he simply walked away.

Blaine watched him go before he left the box office to grab the coffee. Even though it was still almost scalding, it wasn't enough to warm his heart. Only one thing could help him get rid of the cold clinging to his bones, but Blaine didn't feel like he could ever ask the man who had everything to share it with him, when he had nothing to offer him in return but a bruised and fragile heart.

If people at work hadn't yet noticed that something was very wrong, they would, soon. For starters, Blaine had been going to work wearing the same clothes for almost a week now. He looked really rough already, with his stubble growing almost into a beard. He had to wash as best as he could using the restroom at the McDonald's a few streets down from the theatre.

And he hadn't been sleeping.

Part of him was convinced that it was Kurt's fault for spoiling him with his extremely comfortable bed, but he knew down deep it was far more than that. He couldn't sleep because he was in love with someone he could never have. He hated the life he was stuck living everyday and just didn't know what to do about it. He was worried about getting fired and going back to having absolutely nothing. He was starving, lonely and desperate.

He wasn't sure he had a reason to live anymore.

Kurt couldn't force him to come back.

He had gone to the theatre to see Blaine a million times, but he had never approached him. Burt had told him that Blaine seemed to need some time to work things out, but how much time was enough? How much distance was necessary? Couldn't Blaine work things out while being wrapped securely in Kurt's arms?

Blaine looked worse and worse everyday. Even from afar, Kurt could see the dark marks under his eyes and his hair and clothes getting dirtier. Where was he sleeping? Where was he eating? Had he told anyone he needed help? No, Kurt knew he hadn't. Blaine had too much pride for that.

More than once Kurt had to turn around and walk away before he ran towards him and caught him in his arms, and refused to let him go.

He had finally faced the truth his heart was telling him. This wasn't all about Blaine being homeless anymore. To be completely honest, he was being selfish. He needed Blaine even more than Blaine needed him.

Of all the things Blaine had been forced to do to survive in the years he had been living on the streets, searching through trash cans was probably what he hated the most. He hated the way people looked at him when he did it, as if it was something he chose to do. He hated that he needed to settle for whatever people got rid of.

But, what else could he do? He grabbed the few newspapers that remained dry and undamaged and salvaged a few boxes from the blue bin. They would be enough to keep him from freezing during the night, he hoped. He looked at a half-eaten apple and his stomach growled, begging him for some food.

"Mommy, why is that man looking in the garbage?" A little voice said and Blaine looked aside, to see a girl, tugging at her mother's sleeve to get her attention. When the woman saw Blaine, she pulled the girl farther away from him, walking down the platform to wait for the train somewhere else.

"It's just one of those crazy, homeless men, Lizzie. Don't ever talk to them…" She was saying, not even bothering to lower her voice. She probably figured he didn't have any feelings to hurt, like he wasn't even a man anymore.

Blaine felt a lump in his throat and walked away, leaving the apple.

The bench where he had been sleeping most of the past few nights was fortunately empty again tonight. He covered it with newspaper sheets, carefully, trying to block out the whispers of the people walking by. He could feel tears of frustration and shame making his eyes burn, but he refused to let them escape.

He was about to start working on the cardboard boxes when he noticed someone standing behind him. He closed his eyes. It was probably a subway security guard that would tell him that he needed to leave. It wouldn't be the first time. Blaine allowed himself a second to breathe before having to think about finding a safe place to sleep outside in the cold…

"Blaine?"

Startled, Blaine spun around, wide-eyed. There stood Kurt, wrapped in a beautiful knee-length white cashmere coat, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth and looking at him with sad eyes.

"W-what are you doing here, Kurt?" He asked, shakily. God, the last thing he wanted was for Kurt to see him like this.

"I really needed to see you," Kurt muttered shyly. There weren't more than a couple of steps between them, but the chasm dividing them seemed so large that it overwhelmed Blaine. "I… I've gone to the theatre several times, but I thought you wouldn't want to see me."

Blaine shrugged. He had been aware of his steadily declining appearance all week, but he was even more so now that Kurt was looking at him. He knew in spite of his efforts he couldn't smell very nice. His hair was a mess and his clothes didn't look much better.

"I miss you," Kurt said simply, not waiting for Blaine to say anything. "I don't know what to do without you anymore. The apartment is so big and so empty…"

"We both knew I couldn't stay there forever," Blaine managed to reply despite the lump in his throat.

"Why not?" Kurt asked with pleading eyes. "Why can't you stay with me forever?"

"It wouldn't be right," Blaine answered, still not really sure of what he wanted to say. "We want different things. You have such a nice life and…"

"Why don't we cut out the crap?" Kurt interrupted, almost angrily. "This is about you not wanting me to help you. I swear to god, Blaine Anderson, you're so irritating. You and your damn pride!"

"I told you," Blaine averted his eyes, embarrassed. "I don't want to be…"

"A charity case," Kurt finished for him. "You don't want to be helped by me at all. Well, that's great, because you're not a charity case for me."

"And why the hell would you want to take care of me if that isn't the reason?" Blaine threw his arms in the air, helplessly.

"Because I'm a guy who takes care of the people he loves!" Kurt exclaimed, causing several people to look at them curiously. "I took care of my dad when he had a heart attack, and I took care of my best friend back in college when her boyfriend broke up with her and she refused to get out of bed or to shower for a week. I even took care of the two huge dickheads who ended up breaking my heart because I thought I loved them! And I want to take care of you because I'm in love with you! And it may seem like I'm doing this for you, but I'm actually doing it for me. Because I really don't want to lose the man I love. I don't want anything bad happening to you because I would be miserable for the rest of my days knowing I could've avoided it. And you're so stubborn that I want to punch you even more than I want to kiss you!"

Blaine stared wide-eyed, shocked to his core. Kurt's voice had gone so high-pitched that it was almost making his ears bleed, but it was the words he was saying that stunned him. Was Kurt telling the truth? Was he really in love with him?

"And it's completely fine if you don't feel the same way," Kurt added, with a hint of anxiety creeping into his voice. "But you just can't ask me to stop feeling what I feel, and to stop wanting to be here for you." He threw a paper bag at Blaine, who barely managed to catch it. "So eat that fucking burger I got you because it's killing me to see you like this."

The smell of greasy junk food seeped through the bag and Blaine's mouth watered. Even though he didn't want to, he opened the bag and grabbed the burger, unwrapping it quickly and taking a bite. He couldn't help the moan that escaped him. It tasted so good.

When he looked up, with the second bite of burger in his mouth, he noticed Kurt was still standing there and staring at him, with tears trailing down his cheeks. He swallowed and put the food back in the bag. "Kurt…"

"Please, come home with me," Kurt begged, taking a hesitant step forward.

"I… I have nothing to offer you," Blaine said sadly.

Kurt chuckled bitterly. "That's the most awful cliché line in the world. I don't want anything from you, Blaine. I'm not even asking you to love me back. I'm just asking you to let me give you a hand. It doesn't have to be forever if you don't want to. You can leave as soon as you have enough money to pay for a place to live. But, please… don't stay out here. Don't do this."

Blaine's body shivered with the need to throw himself at Kurt, to kiss him, to tell him how much he loved him. Not yet, Blaine thought. I can't. Not like this.

"You're the most wonderful man I've ever met…" he murmured with a soft smile, as he took a step forward. Kurt's eyes brightened immediately, full of hope. "But I can't do it, Kurt. I… it's not that simple. Not for me."

Kurt's face fell at those words. He couldn't hide the pain in his eyes. He tried, though, and he nodded. "Okay…"

They stared at each other. It seemed as if everything was said for the night. Kurt started walking away, but he stopped before he got too far. "Can I at least bring you some food again tomorrow?"

Blaine's heart ached. "Kurt…"

"Fine," Kurt swallowed, tried to smile and failed horribly. "I hope I'll see you soon."

Blaine didn't have time to answer. Kurt was practically running away from him, as if he wanted to hide something from him.

He was unsuccessful, though. Blaine heard a sob just before Kurt turned around a corner and disappeared.