June 18, 2012, 2:08 p.m.
I Finally Found You: Chapter 3
E - Words: 1,410 - Last Updated: Jun 18, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 4/? - Created: May 09, 2012 - Updated: Jun 18, 2012 163 0 1 0 0
Kurt was falling to pieces on the couch. He grabbed his clothes and headed to the bathroom in his room, his hands shaking so badly he could barely hold on to the clothing he was holding. He threw his clothing on the floor, not caring if the expensive shirt was going to wrinkle, and sent a quick text to Rachel before entering the shower.
To: Rachel
I need you and Santana. I did something stupid and I don't know what to do. Bring Finn, I need to talk to him. God, Rachel, I fucked up.
Kurt waited for Rachel's reply, which came about twenty seconds later.
To: Kurt
We'll be there as soon as we can. Stay strong. x
Kurt set his phone down on the counter and stepped into the shower. He turned the water on as hot as he could stand it, the hot water like needles on his skin. He scrubbed his skin raw with soap and a washrag, but not even the scrubbing could get rid of how dirty and shameful he felt. Sobs racked his body, and his emotions hit him so hard he could barely stay standing anymore. He sat down on the shower floor and sobbed, holding his knees together and hoping that was enough to hold himself together. It wasn't. There he was, falling apart, and still, he only wanted Blaine to save him. He hated himself for not hating Blaine. He hated his heart for pounding involuntarily in his chest every time he thought of those golden eyes, that curly hair, those strong hands that held him every time he fell apart.
There was a soft tap on the bathroom door, and Kurt refused to answer it. He heard the door open softly.
"Kurt? It's Rachel. I just wanted to let you know that I put your pajamas on the counter, and that we're all in the living room when you're ready." The door closed as Rachel left the bathroom. Mustering all the strength he had left, he stood up and shut the shower off. He stepped out, grabbed a towel, and began drying off. He then put his pajamas on and, with a defeated sigh, made his way into the living room. There, Rachel, Santana, and Finn were sitting on their small couch, concern filling their eyes, frowns on their faces. Kurt ignored Santana and Rachel and turned his gaze to Finn, his eyes narrowing and his face pulling into a scowl. Finn stared at him quizzically.
"Hey bro, is everything okay?," he asked, furrowing his brows.
"No, Finn, it's not fucking okay. In what universe did you think it was fucking okay for you to tell Blaine where I was going to be tonight? Where I was living? That I was still in the fucking city? You know how I've felt the last two years, Finn. It hasn't been easy and you had no fucking right to invite him back into my life--into all of our lives--with absolutely no fucking consideration as to how I'd feel about all of this. That's low, Finn. Fucking low." Although he intended to keep his voice quiet, Kurt was flat out yelling at Finn by the time he finished.
Finn looked hurt. "Dude, I just thought y--I mean, you've missed him so much these past couple of years...I didn't think you'd mind. It's been hard for all of us--", he gestured towards Rachel and Santana before continuing, "--to see you so depressed. You haven't been genuinely happy in two years, Kurt. I thought I was doing the right thing. I'm sorry that things didn't work out the way they were supposed to...but you've gotta believe me, man. I had your best interest at heart...," Finn swallowed loudly, "...we both did."
Kurt was confused. Blaine had told him that Finn was the one who told Kurt everything. He glanced at Santana, who looked just as confused as Kurt, and then at Rachel. She was staring at her pink patent leather shoes, biting her lip, which Kurt knew was a sign that there was something she wasn't telling him. She slowly lifted her gaze to meet Kurt's eyes, and exhaled loudly.
"Kurt...I was the one who told Finn that you'd be out tonight. Finn texted me and told me he ran into Blaine and that they exchanged numbers, and asked me if he should tell you. I thought about it for a while and decided that we should 'accidentally' run into him at the club...and then maybe you guys could work stuff out and be happy again and oh God, Kurt, I'm so sorry. If I would have known things wouldn't go well, I would have never suggested it to Finn. Believe me, Kurt, I feel absolutely terrible. I promise I will never meddle in your love life again. I don't know what happened, but obviously it wasn't good, and I'm just so, so sorry." Her big brown eyes were filled with tears as she stared intently at Kurt's face. Kurt could feel the tears stinging in his eyes, but refused to give in to them.
"I'm disappointed in both of you. Things just got so much worse. You guys don't even realize the gravity of what you've done. Don't bother me for a while. I need time," Kurt said, turning away from them as the tears began slipping down his face without his permission. He went into his room and closed the door. Kurt laid down gently on his bed, curled up into the fetal position, and began sobbing. He sobbed for himself, for Blaine, for what could have been, for what happened. After sobbing for two straight hours, Kurt finally drifted off into a troubled sleep, the image of Blaine's face refusing to escape his memory.
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Kurt awoke sometime around noon, his head pounding as the sun shined through his small bedside window. Out of habit, he checked his phone, and discovered he had a new text message from a number he didn't recognize. Opening it, his heart stopped and his breath hitched in his throat.
To: Kurt
Hey. It's Blaine. Listen...I didn't want to do this over text, but I didn't think you'd accept my calls, and for good reason. I am so sorry, Kurt. Things got carried away last night, and I shouldn't have stepped into your life like that. I'd like to meet up with you somewhere today...we can get coffee so it's neutral ground. If you don't respond to me, I understand completely. I miss you, though...and I'll never say goodbye to you.
Kurt stared at his phone for what felt like hours, debating on whether to text him back, when there was a knock on his bedroom door.
"Go away, Rachel."
"Seriously? Do you fucking think this would be Rachel after last night?" Santana's voice came through the doorway. He sighed and told Santana to come in. She made her way to his bed and sat down next to him. As if reading Kurt's mind, she grabbed his phone and read the text. She was silent for a moment before speaking.
"Listen, Kurt. I don't know what happened between you two, and although the living room definitely smelled like sex, I'm not going to ask. I will tell you this, though. When Blaine transferred to McKinley to Dalton, I saw a transformation in you. Your eyes were always sparkling, you were constantly smiling. I always told myself that if there was any couple who would make it, it would be the two of you. It gave me hope. And when Brittany broke up with me after I graduated, I broke...and you and Blaine were there to put me together. I'm not saying you need to get back together with him. I really do think that you should meet him and at least humor him with coffee. From what Finn was telling Rachel and I last night, he's been on the search for you, but was too afraid to call you, because he thought you hated him. It's your choice, lady. I'll be there for you regardless, but at least see what the man has to say." Santana patted Kurt on the leg, shot him a sympathetic look, and left his room. Kurt stared at his phone for a few more minutes before making a decision.
To: Blaine
Meet me at the coffee shop down the block from my apartment.
He almost immediately regretted his decision. Did he really owe Blaine anything? No. But Kurt did deserve more of an explanation than the one he got last night.
To: Kurt
I'll be there in 20. Thank you.