Aug. 28, 2013, 9:54 p.m.
Hearts We Hid Up Our Sleeves: Trial
E - Words: 3,722 - Last Updated: Aug 28, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 27/27 - Created: Jun 08, 2013 - Updated: Aug 28, 2013 165 0 0 0 2
Day 1
"Do you have all your stuff?" Blaine asks, practically bouncing around Kurt's office. Everything was packed down and Blaine had done his hours for the day, so now he is just waiting for his boyfriend to be ready to go home with him. Kurt is walking around his office, switching off all the lamps and tidying a few things away.
"Yes, B, and if I don't we can always go back to my place. You make it sound like you're six and on your first sleepover," Kurt says.
"But a super awesome sleepover that's a whole week long, Kurt! And my parents aren't even at home!" Kurt can't help but giggle. "Okay, are you ready to go?" Kurt kisses him first, and then smiles.
"I'm ready. Let's go home." He winds his arm around Blaine's waist, and they don't separate until they get through the door of Blaine's apartment.
"So you know where everything is, right?" Kurt nods, and settles himself on the couch, beckoning for Blaine to join him. Blaine takes his shoes off first and flings them through the door to his bedroom before sitting next to Kurt. "This is going to be really nice, Kurt. I'm so glad you agreed to this."
"I think we need to run through a few things, though. Just like, I'll get up for work early, earlier than you need to be up. I don't cook proper breakfasts like I do for you at weekends when I need to leave for work. I have a very specific schedule to run to, and if you want to fit in anything extra in the morning, you'll have to wake up earlier... which is why I'm suggesting to you now, sex is a night time activity during the week. Not even morning blowjobs." Blaine pouts, and Kurt just takes his hand and looks at him directly. "Blaine, I love you, which is exactly why I'm doing this. But part of living together is learning to live around one another, and I have routines which have been in place since high school, and giving them up for the week isn't going to teach us anything about whether we're ready to live with each other."
"No, I'm glad we went over this."
"Good." Kurt leans over and kisses Blaine, tilting his head slightly by his chin.
"But you should know... I gave this week a mission name," Blaine says.
"Did you?" Kurt questions, rolling his eyes.
"Operation BAKTLT."
"Back tilt?"
"No no, B-A-K-T-L-T. Blaine and Kurt trial living together."
"Ah, of course, I should have guessed. You're such a dork."
"But you love me."
"I do."
Day 2
When Blaine wakes up Kurt's side of the bed is empty and he can hear the shower running. He considers climbing into the shower with his boyfriend, but remembers to respect Kurt's morning routine. When he looks at the clock on his nightstand he realises that Kurt wasn't exaggerating when he said that he got up early. Knowing he can't go back to sleep now, he climbs out of bed and gets dressed in his athletic gear. He opens the door to the bathroom and pops his head in. "Kurt? I'm going to go for a run or something. I'll see you in a bit."
"Since when do you run?"
"Since I'm up so early this morning. See you!" Blaine grabs his things from the table by the door and only realises when he leaves the building that running without a planned route could be interesting. He slips in his earphones and runs until it's about time that he would get up in the morning usually and makes his way back to his apartment, going straight for the shower. He is vaguely aware of Kurt darting around him to the kitchen. He sings while he washes himself, glad to be free of the sweat of the run. He walks with a towel around his hips to the bedroom and gets dressed for the day, pleased that he is fitting on his usual schedule. He heads out to the kitchen and sits at the table, where Kurt is pouting down at his toast. "You okay?" Blaine asks, and Kurt gives him the worst bitch glare he has ever received.
"No."
"Hey, honey? What's up?"
"I remembered all my skin products. Every single one of them. But I couldn't remember to bring any of my hair products." It doesn't take Blaine long to realise that Kurt is really cut up about it.
"It's a little weird to see your hair this fl-"
"Flat. I know. Don't bring it up." Kurt drops his head into his hands.
"We can go by your place on the way to work, if you want. I'll skip breakfast for you and everything."
"Thanks, but I promised that this week was a trial at the whole living together thing. I don't want to go back on day one and mess up the whole thing that I set in place with my routine."
"So romantic," Blaine teases, starting to eat his cereal.
"Blaine? You know that I'm terrified of this, right?"
"What do you mean?"
"You're scared of abandonment, right? We talked about this- you're worried that people will leave you or forget about you. And I'm just as scared as you are. But you, you try and make yourself closer and more comfortable with people so you can stop worrying. I do exactly the opposite. I prefer not to get close to people so that it won't hurt when they leave. It's just that with you... with you I feel the most comfortable, but this new level of commitment is a lot for me."
"Okay."
"So I just need you to know that I love you, I really do."
"I know, Kurt. I love you too."
"I'm trying. I want this with you and so much more, and you're so good to me and you're always romantic and I just don't deserve you when I'm this hesitant to do anything for you," Kurt says quickly, breaking their eye contact to look down at his own breakfast.
"Hey, it's okay. Look at me, Kurt. I love you. I'm not going to stop loving you because you don't think that you're being romantic. Planning dates and wanting to live with you and offering you endless back massages are just how I express how much I'm in love with you. You're good at being wordy about it, or cooking me amazing food, or giving really, really good blowjobs." Kurt lets out a half-hearted laugh.
"Wordy?"
"I talk a lot of shit about myself, Kurt, I don't know if you've noticed. But every time you manage to talk me down from it and make me feel safe and loved."
"I can't do that with anyone else. I just get frustrated with Rachel."
"But you know always what to say with me," Blaine adds.
"Yeah, because I love you, and I know that you need to hear that a lot to keep feeling good with yourself. So I just know."
"And I just know, too. I couldn't plan a date for Adam and Sebastian or Santana and Brittany. It has to be for you and me, because I know how to date for us."
Kurt smiles. "Okay, I think I get you now."
"And Kurt? I think you look gorgeous, hair product or not."
Day 3
"Kill me now," Kurt says as he lets himself into the apartment. Blaine hurries over to the door to greet him, knowing that it must have been a tough day for him. Kurt shrugs off his coat and immediately folds his arms around his boyfriend, pulling him in close. Blaine hugs him back, pleased to be of some service. "What're you cooking?"
"Lasagne. Big day?"
"Enormous. And it smells delicious, thank you." Kurt pulls back from the hug to kiss Blaine.
"You're welcome. I thought you would need some looking after, since you didn't come home an hour or two ago."
"Definitely. How far away is dinner?"
"Ten, maybe fifteen minutes?"
"I'm just going to get changed then." Kurt kisses him again, squeezing his arm softly before slinking away into the bedroom. Blaine returns to the kitchen to finish up the salad while the lasagne cooks. Their trial at living together is working, and he knows that it wouldn't always be just playing house- but it still feels new and exciting and Blaine can't help but feel bubbly every time he remembers that Kurt is just a room away from him.
When Kurt reappears for dinner he is dressed comfortably in pyjama pants and an oversized old Dalton hoodie that he clearly took from Blaine's draw. They sit at the neatly set dinner table as they eat together, which is a different kind of intimacy than they had found they could have in other ways. It is one of the things that Blaine loves most about being able to spend evening upon evening with his boyfriend. "Tell me about your day," Blaine says, avoiding asking how it was. Kurt groans.
"I'm glad to be home. I don't want to say that it was an awful day, but it could have been a hell of a lot more pleasant than it was. So I was in a meeting all morning about whether or not we should look into seasonless fashion, which I think makes sense, since we release more collections monthly, but apparently we still have to stick to fall and spring, and again, we put new clothes out monthly. We release summer and winter separate from fall and spring! So I finally get out of the meeting and I have a clear schedule for the afternoon, so I thought I might get some designing done- hell, I want to be making prototypes to really sell the whole seasonless thing- since I seemingly had nothing more important to be doing, But no, some guy from the warehouse had to call and talk to me for more hours because someone messed up at the suppliers, but that's got nothing to do with me, really! I just manage the creative so that we can keep making original stuff! I'm just so done. I don't know how Quinn did all this." Kurt drops his head into his hands for a moment before looking back up at Blaine. "I trust your day went better?"
"Yeah, it was good. I met up with Jay for lunch, he was telling me about this musician that he has been working with on album art and publicity stuff, and the kid was good, but what Jay was showing me of the art was so much better than good. The art didn't need to be attached to the album, I'm telling you. Jay knows his stuff." Kurt quirks an eyebrow at him.
"Should I be worried?" he teases.
"Not at all. He's an engaged man, remember? Pure bromance, honey. I just really admire him. Photography is what I do, but all the graphics is fun too," Blaine explains.
"Well, you're good at both."
"But not like Jay is."
"Well, I'm glad that you two would make an unstoppable team, and I'm glad that you had a better day than I did." They keep eating, resulting in light conversation about office gossip. It turns out that Ava and Bryce finally had gone out together, but that it hadn't gone as well as either would have liked. After dinner Blaine tells Kurt to go and relax while he does the dishes, but Kurt insists that they take a bath together. And so with glasses of wine and a mountain of bubbles, they share a bath which shouldn't really fit two people since it barely fits one, but they make it work. They forego the massage and sex route in favour of climbing into bed freshly dried, naked and still giving off a warm glow, cuddling close and finding that they felt as connected and safe as they did post-sex, but neither had the energy to actually participate in the physical.
Day 4
Blaine's favourite parts of the daily routine that they effortlessly slip into immediately revolve around his bed. He loves the moment where he wakes up and Kurt is there. He loves it when they get to fall asleep together. He loves it when Kurt falls asleep in his arms and he carefully snuggles into his sleeping form and Kurt subconsciously wriggles around until they're both comfy. He also loves the moment when he wakes up to Kurt's fingers running through his curls on Thursday evening. Blaine doesn't remember falling asleep, but he is definitely faced down on his bed, with Kurt lying next to him. He stretches and rolls onto his side, propping himself on one elbow as he looks at his boyfriend.
"Hey there," Blaine says, "how long have you been in?"
"I don't know, maybe ten minutes? I kind of wanted to wake you so that you could decide what to have for dinner, but also you looked all peaceful and angelic and sometimes your curls are just too tempting." Kurt fingers find their way back to Blaine's hair.
"What time is it?"
"Just after six."
"I've been sleeping for like, half an hour."
"You clearly needed it."
"I think maybe I've been so excited with the prospect of looking after you that I've exhausted myself out."
"You're a goddamn puppy, B, I swear," Kurt says, but he says it lightly and teasingly, and Blaine knows how much he loves it. Blaine leans forward to meet Kurt in the middle and kisses him softly, until Kurt wraps his arms around Blaine's neck and rolls him on top of him. "So," Kurt says between kisses, "any thoughts on dinner?"
"I just want to taste you, babe," Blaine says, kissing down Kurt's neck. Kurt sighs.
"And here I was thinking I was dessert," Kurt teases.
"We can have reverse dinner like I did as a kid- dessert first, and then dinner. And then more dessert because I want ice cream."
"Deal," Kurt says, pulling Blaine down again and tugging at the hem of his shirt.
Day 5
"Is it weird that I don't feel like I live here anymore?" Santana says when all their friends are over at the apartment for the traditional Friday drinks, "Like, you haven't changed anything and all my stuff is still here, but the atmosphere is different?"
"Yeah, that's a little weird, Tana," Sebastian says, "but I sort of feel it too. This is like, undeniably the Kurt and Blaine zone."
"That solves that then- if one of us moves out properly, Blaine, the other has to go too, or at least we have to move where we have drinks." She crosses the room and holds out her hand to Blaine, who shakes it, confirming the new deal.
"Why don't we move drinks to my place? I'm not going anywhere," Sebastian offers. After some debate, they all agree that after one or the other moves out (and begin placing bets as to who it will be), drinks will be moved to Sebastian's house. "I feel like I just won part of the custody battle caused by your roommate divorce." Santana and Blaine look at each other from across the room, before Blaine walks over to her and offers her his open arms. She steps forward into them and sighs contently.
"Don't call it a roommate divorce, Bas, you'll upset them more," Kurt suggests.
"Yeah yeah, I didn't expect them to get sappy. Neither of them is even going anywhere yet."
"But they know that it's soon. It's as if they're growing up, closing the door on this part of life. They've lived together since they finished college, right? So I suppose it's like they symbolise being young adults to one another," Adam commentates. Blaine turns his head to look at him.
"We're right here."
"Yeah, but he isn't wrong," Santana says, before finally letting go of Blaine. Blaine hadn't expected that anyone would get emotional, and it wasn't as if it were the last Friday night drinks at their apartment while they both shared it. But he knew what they meant- Santana had been his pseudo-soulmate before Kurt had come along, and they were best friends. Even to move in with his boyfriend- who he intended to propose to in the near future- it felt weird thinking that he was moving on from Santana.
Day 6
On Saturday, Kurt cleans. That has always been part of his routine, and he has no reason not to continue, even at someone else's apartment. Blaine floats around the apartment, letting his Saturday relaxation kick in. With nothing to plan in terms of meeting up with Kurt, he writes music and mucks around with photoshop. Kurt had specifically asked Blaine to keep out of his way for a bit, so he makes the bed and coops himself up in the room with his guitar. He likes the feeling of coexisting, that Kurt is doing his own thing and they're just occupying the same space. After lunch Blaine can't stand to sit in his room any longer, and he figures that he should do something productive, so he cleans the bathroom. When he is done, Kurt takes over and more or less cleans it all again. He would be lying if he said that he wasn't a little bit upset. He sticks to tasks he knows that he won't mess up after that, doing the dishes from lunch, wiping out the microwave, and emptying the trash.
Blaine starts hovering around Kurt, trying to make conversation, but Kurt insists on tidying in near silence. When Blaine retreats to the couch to watch TV, keeping out of Kurt's way, Kurt snaps at him for having it up too loud. When Kurt finally seems to be done cleaning, he shuts himself in the bedroom. Blaine puts his book down and goes to investigate, finding Kurt curled up on the bed. He sits down next to him and wriggles closer, tentatively closing his arm around Kurt's waist. He doesn't bat it away, but he doesn't seem particularly comfortable with it being there. Blaine takes it away and sits up against the headboard.
"Kurt?" he asks shyly. There's no response. "I have no fucking clue what I've done, but I'm really sorry."
Kurt rolls over. "You haven't done anything, B," he takes Blaine's hand, urging him to shuffle down the bed so that they are lying face to face, "I'm just not used to co dependence."
"Sorry?"
"Blaine, I love you, but this is really tricky for me. I want to make this work, but I can't spend all day every day with you, and at the moment that's sort of what we're doing. I love that you're such a cuddle bug, honestly, but I can't be an on demand cuddler. And when I came in here- to be honest- I just needed a few moments away from you to think properly."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"This isn't working, is it?"
"Blaine, I... I think it's circumstantial."
"Are you breaking up with me?" Kurt sits up.
"God, no! We were just talking about our wedding last week, I wouldn't even think for a second that I could break up with you. I love you so much, Blaine, I couldn't ever go back to my life before I met you. Ever."
"So... what do you mean?" Blaine sits up too, but he breaks his eye contact with his boyfriend. Kurt cups Blaine's cheek and makes him look at him.
"I mean that it isn't the right time for us to live together. Not while we're going to work with each other every day."
"Do you want to cut the week short, Kurt? I won't mind, honestly."
"No, I want to stay here. It's just a bad day and I'm clearly a hormonal bitch or something. Insert every joke I've ever received about being on my period here." Blaine smiles.
"I'm glad we talked about this."
"Yeah, me too. Now, how would you feel about going out for dinner? I think maybe I shouldn't have stayed inside all day."
"Good plan. Let me just get changed." Blaine kisses Kurt, and the way that Kurt smiles as he pulls away makes everything worthwhile.
Day 7
Kurt repacks all of his bags- remembering to take all of his skin and hair products- and Blaine helps him carry them back to his apartment. When they live so close to one another it doesn't make sense to do anything but walk. They drop the bags off in Kurt's room, and then sit sensibly in the living room of the suspiciously quiet apartment to talk.
"So, where to from here?" Blaine asks. Kurt shrugs.
"You tell me. You're better at laying our decisions out on the table."
"So, I help you look for an apartment, because you can't stay here but you can't do the looking by yourself. We are as madly in love as we were before living together for a week, but we now can see the value of not living together for a bit longer. It's agreed that when I need cuddles I should ask specifically instead of hovering around you like a fruit fly and annoying you, because you're happy to give them. Also, that when it comes to living together, we can't be working in the same place."
"Okay. But thank you for the week, B, I did enjoy it and I feel like we figured a lot out," Kurt explains.
"Yeah, me too. I love you and I love that I had the opportunity to spend so much time with you, now that we aren't sharing an office."
"You could still just move into my office."
"Nah, you're too busy for me at work, anyway."
"Not too busy for you to come in tomorrow morning and give me head under the desk," Kurt teases flirtatiously.
"I might have to take you up on that."
The Monday after
Sure enough, when Kurt gets into work and checks his day's schedule with Ava, there is a new appointment from one Mister B. Anderson, and Kurt loves the way that he flutters to see it there, in an almost renewed excitement and love for his boyfriend.