"So, serious question," said Carson as he and Kurt cuddled together in Kurt's bed, moonlight (or maybe just regular city lights) streaming through the window as the laptop perched carefully on Carson's lap played one of the Twilight movies (Carson couldn't remember which one, only that Kurt had suggested watching it and he had reluctantly agreed. The things I do for you, Kurtsie). Kurt tore his eyes away from the screen and looked up at Carson, resting his chin on his chest.

"What's up?" he asked. The light source coming through the window, whatever it was, illuminated his face perfectly, and he looked the very picture of an angel as he stared up at Carson with wide, sparkling eyes. God, I love him so much.

"What's that werewolf guy have that I don't?" asked Carson, only half kidding. Kurt gave him an amused look, the corners of his mouth slowly turning up into a smile.

"Are you serious?" he asked.

"Sort of," answered Carson. "You've been drooling over him for the past hour, and I'm just trying to assess the competition, you know. Is it the abs?"

"Oh my god, Carson," said Kurt with a chuckle, the corners of his eyes crinkling with amusement. "You're so adorable when you're jealous, you know that?"

"So you've said," replied Carson with a pout. "Seriously, what's he got that I don't?"

"Hmmm," said Kurt thoughtfully, staring up at the ceiling as though he were really thinking it over. "A million dollars?"

"Ooooh, it's about the money and the abs," said Carson teasingly, crossing his arms and giving his best impression of a pout, even though he knew it looked ridiculous and not at all adorable like Kurt's. "I see how it is."

"Oh, honey, I'm joking," said Kurt reassuringly, patting Carson affectionately on the arm. "I love you, and only you. And besides, you have abs. Nice ones. And I can think of at least one thing you have that he or any other guy doesn't."

"Oh?" asked Carson. "What's that?"

"My heart," replied Kurt with a smile, leaning his face in for a kiss. Carson closed his eyes, letting the feel of their lips sliding together envelop his senses.

"I guess that's a pretty big thing," he said as they parted from the kiss. Kurt nodded.

"The biggest. I don't give that away to just anyone, you know," he said, reaching up one hand to stroke Carson's cheek. "You should feel honored."

"I do," replied Carson, leaning in for another kiss. "Honored and privileged, and the luckiest guy in the world." He kissed him deeper and Kurt closed the laptop, sloppily setting it down on his bedside table before cupping Carson's face in both hands and kissing him hungrily. Carson darted his tongue out to taste along Kurt's bottom lip, and was too busy marveling at how strawberry lip balm tasted a lot better than it probably should to notice that Kurt had settled himself against the pillows and was pulling Carson on top of him, their heated bodies touching skin to skin. Carson loved the feeling. He didn't think he'd ever get over just how intoxicating it was.

"Mmmph," Carson mumbled against Kurt's lips. "Now you're just trying to butter me up."

"Is it working?" asked Kurt cheekily, nibbling a little on Carson's bottom lip, and fuck, he knows that drives me nuts, he's such a tease but god I love him...

"Just a bit," Carson replied before deepening the kiss, which was growing increasingly rough and desperate, more tongue and teeth than anything else. He felt Kurt's hands running up and down the skin of his bare back, and as Carson moved his lips down to his neck to start suckling at Kurt's favorite spot below his ear, he felt Kurt's nails digging into his skin as his twin let out a gasp.

"Like that?" whispered Carson as he mouthed at the skin, and Kurt whined and threw his head back to give Carson better access.

"I want to do it," he said in a gasping whisper after a minute, and Carson paused his ministrations to look at him curiously.

"Do what, baby?" he asked. Kurt bit his lip, looking suddenly shy.

"I...I want..." he stammered, and even though the room was dim Carson could see his face beginning to flush.

"Kurtsie? What is it, honey?" he asked, suddenly concerned. "Are you ok?"

"I want to make love," Kurt blurted out in a rush, his face blushing the color of a boiled beet as Carson gaped at him, trying to decide if he'd heard what he thought he'd just heard.

"I...you do?" he asked stupidly, a million thoughts rushing around in his brain all at once. He wants to...he...he WANTS to? Oh god, this is literally everything I've been dreaming of. What do I do? What do I SAY? I don't want to say the wrong thing and...fuck...what...

"Yeah," said Kurt slowly, an odd expression crossing his face. "Don't...don't you?" he asked uncertainly.

"What?" asked Carson, still trying to figure out if he was dreaming or not.

"Oh god," said Kurt, frowning. "You don't want to, do you? You're not ready. Oh my god, I should have realized when you never...never asked...and I'm so sorry..."

Great, Carson, now he thinks you're rejecting him. Way to make yourself look like a complete asshole.

"Kurt, no!" he said, finally gathering up the brain function that had been eluding him. "No, baby, that's not it at all!"

Kurt looked only temporarily relieved before frowning again. "But don't you want to...?" he asked, trailing off before finishing the question. "I mean, we don't have to, but..."

"Kurtsie, I want to. You have no idea how badly I want to, sweetheart," said Carson in a rush, placing a hand on the mattress on either side of Kurt to hold himself up. "I really, really do. I just...I haven't been pushing for it because I didn't want you to feel rushed, or like you were being pressured, especially after all the bullshit you've been through with Benson. I didn't want it to be that way for you this time."

Kurt's face relaxed considerably at this, and Carson felt a rush of relief go through his body. He hated making Kurt feel bad for any reason, especially over a stupid misunderstanding like this.

"Oh god, Carson, I don't feel rushed at all. I've been wanting us to take that step forever. For years," he said, a smile beginning to form on his lips as he ran his hands up and down Carson's arms.

"Years, huh?" said Carson, feeling himself returning Kurt's smile as he looked down at him, at this beautiful man whom he loved more than life itself. The same beautiful man who he still had a hard time believing had chosen him.

"Yes," said Kurt with a little laugh. "I want us to give ourselves to each other completely. You know? I love you so much, and I just want to be as close to you as possible."

Carson leaned back down to catch Kurt's lips in a soft kiss, brushing a stray hair out of his twin's eyes as he looked into them, searching for confirmation that this wasn't a huge, cruel hallucination.

"Are you sure, Kurtsie?"

Kurt nodded. There it is. There's the confirmation in his eyes. Oh god. "I'm positive, Carsey."

Carson crashed their lips together like his life depended on it, kissing him in a frenzied tangle of lips and tongues and hands pawing at each other, reaching for whatever parts of each other they could. Carson's knee slipped in between Kurt's legs, and he felt Kurt shiver and begin to harden beneath him as his twin moaned into the kiss.

"Ku..mmmph...Kurt..." Carson mumbled between kisses as a troubling thought occurred to him.

"Yeah?" said Kurt softly, breaking from the kiss to look at him.

"I just remembered that Rachel's home."

Kurt let out a frustrated sigh. "So?"

"What do you mean so?" asked Carson, appalled. "She's home. If we do anything right now, we run a really high risk of getting caught."

"I don't care," said Kurt with a soft whine. "She's sleeping, anyway."

"Kurtsie, come on. Think about it," said Carson, rolling gently off of him and laying beside him, bringing up one hand to stroke through Kurt's hair. "Do you really want our first time to be quiet and rushed while Trollberry is ten feet away? I certainly don't."

Kurt bit his lip, looking thoughtful.

"And," Carson continued, "If we're going to do this, I want us to do it right. You know, really take our time and enjoy it. Savor every moment. It's not just my first time with you, it's my first time ever. And I want it to be beautiful and romantic for both of us, baby."

Kurt gave him a small smile and nodded. "You're right," he said, leaning in to give Carson a kiss on the cheek. "We should wait until we can be alone. What, um...what about Friday?"

"Friday?" asked Carson, confused.

"Yeah," said Kurt. "Rachel has that NYADA new student mixer thing that night, and she'll probably be gone for a long time if she hangs out with Brody afterwards. We could...we could do it then?" he said, phrasing it as a question. Carson smiled and nodded.

"Friday," he agreed, trailing a hand lazily down Kurt's chest and leaning in for one more kiss. Kurtsie, I hope you can feel how much I love you, baby. He snuggled close to Kurt and soon fell asleep, dreaming of a wedding cake that featured two identical little grooms on the top.

He woke several hours later, the room still dark and shadowy as he slowly blinked his eyes open. The squirming bundle of Kurt in his arms alerted him to what exactly had woken him up, and he was just about to begin trying to sooth Kurt from what he assumed was a nightmare, when a breathy little moan echoed throughout the room.

Ah. Definitely not a nightmare then. Fuck, what do I do, though? If he moans like THAT enough, Trollberry could wake up, and that would just be embarrassing for everybody. He watched, fascinated and extremely turned on, as Kurt wiggled around in his arms, his pajama pants tented and his hips unconsciously thrusting into thin air.

"Ah...ah...mmm...Car-carson..." Kurt babbled in his sleep, and Carson felt his whole body heating up at the sudden realization that Kurt was most definitely dreaming about him. It occurred to him that this was the first time since they had been together that he had been woken up with one of Kurt's sex dreams, and the fact that he was apparently causing it was a pretty intoxicating thought indeed.

I wonder if I could help him along a little, Carson mused as he slowly removed himself from Kurt and sat up in the bed, staring down at him reverently. Even in the middle of a sex dream, Kurt managed to look like an angel. Not that Carson was a bit surprised.

"Carsey," Kurt moaned, and that settled it. Carson maneuvered himself into a comfortable position and leaned his head down, placing a soft, feather-light kiss on Kurt's collarbone. Kurt let out a happy sigh in his sleep, and Carson smiled as he worked his way down Kurt's chest, bypassing his nipples because he wasn't sure what kind of moan that would produce, and the last thing he needed was for Rachel to wake up. He kissed down Kurt's stomach and then hooked his fingers into the waistband of his pajama pants, carefully pulling them down over Kurt's swollen erection and taking them off, placing them neatly off to the side. Kurt was protective about his clothes, even sleeping clothes. Most of the time, anyway.

He peered at Kurt's stiffened dick, biting his lip at how tantalizingly delicious it looked. Patience, Carson. You can taste it in a minute. He gingerly reached out one hand and gave Kurt a few gentle strokes, and Kurt's breath hitched in his throat before he let out a sexy little whine.

God, Kurt, you're going to be the death of me, he thought as he continued stroking him, twisting his wrist just the right way on every upstroke the way he knew Kurt liked. Kurt's breath was getting increasingly gaspy and shallow, and his dick was pulsating satisfyingly in Carson's hand. He gave him several more strokes, intending to lean down and finish him off with his mouth, but he didn't get the chance, because Kurt let out a moan and came right then, spilling all over Carson's hand and his own stomach. He sighed and lay there, relaxed and pliant, as Carson blinked in surprise, ignoring the tightening in his own pants as he removed his hand from Kurt and held it up to inspect it.

What have I turned into? he thought to himself as he pushed his fingers into his mouth, sucking all of Kurt's essence off of them and swallowing it eagerly. I'm one of those weird porno people now, apparently. Who am I? He licked his fingers clean, sighing happily at the taste, and stared down at Kurt's stomach, where there was more just sitting there, waiting to be enjoyed.

Well...he DOES need to be cleaned up, Carson rationalized, hesitating only a moment before maneuvering himself into a comfortable position and darting his tongue out, running it up the length of Kurt's stomach as he collected the precious substance into his mouth. He was so busy enjoying himself that he didn't notice that Kurt was awake until he heard his voice pierce the quiet of the room.

"What're you doin'?" he mumbled sleepily, and Carson looked up at him, his tongue still dancing across Kurt's skin.

"You, um..." he said bashfully, wondering just how weird this looked to Kurt right now. "You came in your sleep, and...I, um...I kind of couldn't resist." Now that the sun was beginning to rise, he could see Kurt's face better, and it looked tired but slightly amused.

"You really have an addiction, don't you?" he said with a smile as Carson kissed his belly button softly.

"Mmm-hmm," he said, licking up the last few remaining drops as Kurt's hand stroked through his hair, his fingers sending a pleasant electric jolt through Carson's body. He didn't remove his mouth from Kurt, finding a freckle near his hip and kissing it thoughtfully.

"Memorizing the lay of the land, now?" asked Kurt as Carson continued kissing him, wanting to leave no freckle unkissed now that he'd started.

"No," answered Carson, working his way down one of Kurt's arms with his lips. "Just want to kiss all your freckles. Every last one."

"Ugh, I hate them," groaned Kurt, throwing his free arm over his eyes and turning his head away. "The freckles, I mean. Not your kisses."

"Aaw, Kurtsie, don't say that," said Carson. "Your freckles are gorgeous."

"Stop trying to butter me up," mumbled Kurt. "It won't work."

Carson was about to reply when they both heard the unmistakable sound of Rachel stirring in her own room.

"Shit," groaned Carson, getting up and planting one final kiss on Kurt's lips before handing him his pajama pants. "I really wish she'd just disappear."

"I know, baby," said Kurt sympathetically, hurriedly putting his pants on as Carson made his way back under the covers so they could at least look like they'd been innocently sleeping the whole time, just in case. "Just remember, on Friday we'll be rid of her. Sort of."

"Can't wait," said Carson with a sigh. He really, really couldn't.

Even though they only had to wait a day, Kurt thought he would explode by the time Friday finally rolled around. He woke up to a light rain tapping at his window, and hoped that it wasn't going to be a sign of bad luck and Rachel would decide to stay home all night just to fuck with them or something.

"So, Rachel," he said as he entered the kitchen, where Carson was already up and flipping pancakes on the stove. Rachel looked up from where she was reading something on her phone at the table and looked at him curiously.

"Yes, Kurt?" she asked, taking a sip from the teacup in front of her.

"You, um...you have that NYADA thing tonight, right?" Kurt asked, trying to sound casual. He just really needed confirmation that they were going to have the place to themselves tonight, because he didn't think he could handle waiting any longer. Carson snorted over the pancakes and quickly tried to cover it up with a fake cough.

"Yeah," answered Rachel, and Kurt breathed a sigh of immense relief. "Actually, I'll be gone all night. Brody and I are going out afterwards, and I'll probably just stay at his place and come home in the morning."

Oh my god, thank you Grilled Cheesus, Kurt thought happily, praising Finn's long forgotten sandwich. It's a miracle! He chanced a glance over to the stove, where Carson was barely bothering to contain his grin. Their eyes met, and they exchanged mutual "Oh god, it's really going to happen tonight, oh god" looks before Kurt casually took a seat at the table.

"Did you decide what song to sing?" he asked, figuring he could pretend to care now that he knew his night wasn't going to be destroyed. Well, he cared a little, just not as much as he cared about what he and Carson had planned for their evening.

Rachel nodded. "I decided to go with my old standby. Don't Rain On My Parade."

"Oh, you mean the song you sang for the NYADA audition you failed?" asked Carson brightly as he placed two pancakes on a plate and set the plate down in front of Kurt. "The one that you fucked up but still managed to get into the school anyway by resorting to creepy stalking, even though others' auditions were far superior? Yeah, that will really impress 'em. Good luck with that."

"You know what, Carson, you don't have to be so bitter," said Rachel haughtily as she took a thoughtful sip out of her teacup. "Kurt has assured me that there are no hard feelings over my getting into NYADA while he has to wait another semester. Right, Kurt?"

"Yeah," Kurt mumbled, shoving a forkful of pancake into his mouth and hoping the both of them would just drop it. He didn't want this to set a bad tone for the rest of what promised to be a perfect day.

"See?" asked Rachel, flashing Carson a triumphant smile. Carson rolled his eyes.

"Whatever," he said, turning back to the stove and beginning work on more pancakes. He caught Kurt's eye again, and Kurt smiled at him.

It seemed like his work day dragged on much longer than usual that day. Not that he didn't enjoy his job, but between the constant drizzle and the fact that he was just so preoccupied with his plans for the evening, he just couldn't concentrate. He was relieved when his lunch break came and he could just sit and turn over the mental checklist he had been thinking about for the past day. He'd made sure he had lube. He'd picked up plenty of condoms for easy cleanup, and because he wasn't sure where Carson would stand on going without one, so he figured it would be better to be safe than sorry, so to speak. He'd spent a couple of hours the night before making a romantic playlist on his iPod for when the moment came. Everything was all set. He glanced at the clock, sighing at the fact that there was still hours to go before he could leave and spend the night wrapped in the arms of his love.

The ringing of his phone broke the silence, and he smiled down at it as Carson's face filled the screen.

"Hey, baby," he said into the phone as he answered the call. "How's it going?"

"She's gone!" exclaimed Carson in a sing-song voice. "She left about half an hour ago with her little duffle bag, and we won't see her ass back here until tomorrow, which means that you and I are going to have the most romantic night ever if it kills me."

Kurt chuckled. He could just picture Carson wandering around the apartment with a big grin on his face as he delivered the happy news. "Enjoying yourself, are we?" he asked teasingly.

"You have no idea, honey," said Carson, and Kurt could practically hear the smile in his voice. "I'm actually doing fucking kicky feet like a twelve year old girl."

"I can't wait, Carsey," said Kurt with a laugh. "Ugh, I wish it was the end of the day now."

"I know, baby, but waiting is a good thing," replied Carson happily. "You have important work to do for Vogue, and I have important work to do for us."

"Oh?" asked Kurt, intrigued. He looked around to make sure no one was going to overhear his next words. "Do I sense some of that patented Carson Hummel romance coming my way tonight?"

"Maaaaaybe," teased Carson. "I gotta go, I have stuff to plan. I'll see you tonight, and I'm picking you up, ok?"

"Ok, sweetie," answered Kurt, the grin on his face becoming so large he was afraid his face might break in half. "I love you."

"I love you, too," said Carson. "I'll see you tonight."

"Ok," said Kurt as they both hung up. He set his phone back in his pocket and settled down in his seat, grinning like an idiot and not even caring who saw.

Tonight, Carsey. It's happening tonight. And it will be beautiful. I love you so much.

Carson didn't waste any time once had hung up with Kurt. He wasn't kidding when he said he'd make this the most romantic night of either of their lives, and he was determined to do just that. After so many years of pining and loving Kurt silently from a distance, tonight finally felt like the final culmination. The last step they had to take before they officially belonged to one another. Maybe it was stupid to feel that way, but he couldn't help it. He just wanted to make this a night that they would both remember fondly for the rest of their lives together.

It has to be perfect. Absolutely everything has to be perfect, because it's Kurt, and I love him more than anything in the whole world, and he's been through so much in his life, and I just want him to have the perfect romance. It's one of the things he's always wanted, and he's never had it. I just want everything to be good for him. That's all.

Step one of Operation Perfect Romance was to go out and pick up groceries for the dinner he was planning on making for the two of them. He'd spent several hours that morning while he waited for Rachel to leave poring over various recipe websites looking for something suitable. Unfortunately, nothing had quite seemed special enough. At least, not anything he could be reasonably sure he would be able to cook without severely fucking it up. He was competent in the kitchen, but he wasn't some sort of culinary wizard. At last, he had settled on a pasta dish that involved cheese and various vegetables that didn't look too complicated. He'd only need to go pick up the ingredients and he'd be good to go.

Several hours later, after braving the wind and the rain, he came back to the apartment armed with a couple of grocery bags and a single long-stemmed rose, which he placed carefully aside to give to Kurt when he saw him. He carried his bags into the kitchen and turned on his laptop, pulling up the recipe he had decided on and getting to work preparing everything. He wanted most of the work done before he had to go meet Kurt at the Vogue offices, because he had a feeling concentration wasn't going to be around in abundant amounts tonight.

Well, this was easier than I expected, he thought happily as everything began to come together nicely. All he would need to do once he and Kurt got home was turn the stove on and they'd be eating in no time.

Step two was to prepare the atmosphere. He'd found a bunch of candles while he was out that, while they weren't lilac scented the way he would have preferred, were at least still a decent shade of purple, so they'd still suggest lilacs, kind of. He placed them in various places around the living room where they wouldn't be knocked over, and then he carefully placed Kurt's iPod into the portable speaker system. He definitely wanted mood music, and he figured that his twin's own music collection would be just the place to find something Kurt would enjoy.

Let's see, he mused to himself, scrolling through the various songs and albums on the device, no, no, no...I don't even know who that is...actually, I don't know who half these people are...hmmm... He flipped over to the playlists section. Maybe he could get inspired by something from there.

Oh, Kurtsie, you adorable little thing, he thought, smiling to himself as he scrolled through Kurt's playlists. There, nestled among various playlists such as "Working Out" and "Dance Practice," was a playlist simply called "Carson." Carson clicked on it and glanced through the songs, all of which sounded like romantic ballads. His heart skipped a beat and he left the iPod on that playlist, turning the screen off and giving it a gentle pat as he made sure the device was properly secured to the speaker.

Kurtsie, I can't even with you, sweetheart, he thought, a lump forming in his throat at the thought that Kurt had actually taken the time to make a list of songs...romantic sounding songs...that reminded him of Carson. Baby, I don't even deserve you. I really, really don't. He glanced at the clock and realized he'd have to leave if he wanted to be able to meet Kurt right as work ended, so he carefully grabbed an umbrella and the rose he'd got and headed out the door.

The subway ride back to Kurt's neighborhood from the Vogue office was one of the longest experiences of Carson's life, and he didn't even feel like he was exaggerating by thinking that way. He'd made it into the city just fine, and arrived at Kurt's office promptly at five, when his twin was due to leave, proud of himself for being so correct with his timing.

"Carsey!" Kurt had exclaimed as soon as he saw him, giving an apologetic look to the girl he had been talking to before Carson entered. "Um, I'll work on that idea this weekend and discuss it with you on Monday, Rebecca. Ok?" he said to her as Carson waited in the doorway patiently. She nodded and turned to leave, looking a little surprised to see Carson standing there on her way out.

"Twins?" she asked.

"No, I'm his creepy doppelganger stalker," quipped Carson.

"He's kidding, we're twins," said Kurt, an amused smile on his face. Rebecca nodded and left, and Carson entered the office all the way, closing the door behind him. Not a moment too soon, either, because Kurt was practically leaping into his arms before the door was even securely shut.

"I missed you so much, you have no idea," he said breathlessly before catching Carson's lips in a bruising kiss. "You're all wet."

"Well, it's raining out. And you didn't miss me nearly as much as I missed you," Carson insisted, holding out the red rose like an offering as they parted from the kiss. Kurt glanced at it, and his eyes practically sparkled as his face lit up with the brightest smile Carson had ever seen.

"Oh, Carsey," he said, taking the rose and holding it up to his nose to smell it. "You're so sweet to me, baby."

"Because I love you and you're precious to me," said Carson, taking Kurt's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "And I'd really love to get you home so I can show you just how much I love you." Kurt raised his eyebrows and smiled, turning out the lights before opening the office door and leading Carson hurriedly to the lobby and out the door. Carson thought he'd die before they got home, but when they finally reached the apartment and slid open the heavy door, Carson felt at peace. There was nothing standing in their way now. Nobody was home, and neither of them had to be anywhere but right where they were. They had nothing to do but love each other, and Carson felt a flurry of butterflies start going crazy in his stomach at the thought.

"Mmm, what's all that?" asked Kurt curiously, nodding toward the kitchen as Carson took his coat off for him and gently shook out the droplets of rainwater before placing it to dry over a chair.

"Dinner," answered Carson cheerfully as he crossed over to the stove and turned everything on, stirring it a little before covering the pots.

"I'm so spoiled," said Kurt with a happy sigh, coming up behind Carson and wrapping his arms around his waist, resting his chin on his shoulder. "Do you think I could keep you?"

"Hmmm, I don't know," teased Carson. "For how long?"

"Forever," Kurt whispered, kissing Carson's neck, and Carson felt himself melting at the contact of Kurt's lips on his skin, his heart thumping faster in his chest.

"That could be arranged," he said, turning around to kiss Kurt tenderly on the lips, one hand cupping his twin's face while the other rested gently around his waist, pulling their bodies closer. They stood there kissing like that for a couple of minutes, just enjoying being together, and Carson was very reluctant to let Kurt go as he turned back around to check on the food.

"Did I ever tell you that you're super adorable when you're cooking like that?" asked Kurt as he took a seat at the table and placed his chin in his hands. Carson smiled and looked back at him.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yep," replied Kurt, kicking his legs under the table like an excited kid. "I feel lucky, you know. To be the only one who gets to really see you. All of you, not just the parts you show to everyone else."

Carson didn't say anything as he waited for the lump in his throat to go down. "Ahem. Uh, I think dinner's about ready," he finally managed to croak out as he began dishing portions onto two plates.

"Smells delicious," said Kurt, seeming to have sensed what Carson was feeling. Carson could barely concentrate on dinner, although he was happy that Kurt seemed to be enjoying it. He was starting to get really nervous about the rest of the evening. He really didn't want to mess anything up, and the more he thought about it, the more he worried that he would do something wrong and severely screw up the experience for both of them.

"Carsey?" said Kurt after a while. Carson blinked at him.

"Hmm?"

"Are you ok?" Kurt asked, sounding concerned. Carson looked into his twin's ocean-like eyes, which at the moment were clouded over with worry, and he felt his stomach flutter as a sense of peace washed over him. Something in Kurt's eyes told him everything would be alright.

"I'm fine," he said with a smile, leaning across the table to kiss him tenderly.

"Good," whispered Kurt, stroking his cheek gently with his thumb. He insisted on helping Carson clear the table, and Carson let him, rushing over to the portable speaker in the living room when he was through and turning on the iPod he had placed there earlier.

"I, um...I thought we could slow dance a little," Carson stammered when he saw Kurt looking over at him curiously. "Because, you know, I always wanted to do it with you at prom, but as your boyfriend and not just your brother, but, you know, it never worked out that way, even though we did dance together, kinda, but you were with...well, we weren't together, and before we do anything tonight I just want this little moment of-"

His words were cut off by a pair of lips on his own. He didn't even realize Kurt had been crossing over to him until he was being wrapped in his twin's embrace and held close to him, his heart beating erratically as Kurt reached one hand out to press the play button on the iPod.

"You found the playlist I made," he whispered in Carson's ear as he placed his hands on his shoulders. Carson shook himself out of his reverie and placed his own hands on Kurt's waist as the opening notes of Elvis Presley's "Can't Help Falling In Love With You" filled the room and the two of them swayed slowly in time to the music.

"It was called Carson," Carson answered, unconsciously pulling Kurt nearer to him and holding him close.

"Mmm-hmm," said Kurt. "They're songs that remind me of you. I made it for...well...I made it for tonight."

"But I can't help falling in love with you," crooned Elvis in the background, and Carson swallowed the lump that was rapidly rising again in his throat. This song reminds him of me. It's such a beautiful love song. I...I can't handle all of these feelings. It's too much, but it's so wonderful.

"I love you," he whispered as Kurt kissed him tenderly on the ear.

"Like a river flows surely to the sea," Kurt sang softly into his ear, "Darling, so it goes, some things are meant to be..."

Carson knew in that moment that if he never did anything else worthwhile in his entire life, he at least wanted to do one thing for sure. He definitely wanted to spend his entire life with the perfect man he was dancing with right now. No matter what happened, he always wanted to be by Kurt's side and make him as happy as he possibly could. He couldn't think of anything he'd rather do more.

"I can't help falling in love with you," he sang, picking up the tune as best he could and resting his head on Kurt's shoulder.

"I think this is kind of our song now," mused Kurt as the song came to an end. Carson smiled, willing himself not to start crying in front of him.

"Yeah, I...I guess it is," he said with a smile, catching Kurt's lips in a soft kiss that made his body heat up from the tips of his toes to the roots of his hair.

"Are you nervous?" asked Kurt. "I mean...you know...about tonight?"

Carson bit his lip and hesitated a second before nodding. "Just a little bit."

Kurt gave him a sympathetic smile and stroked his cheek. "Oh, my Carsey. Come with me, baby." He turned the iPod speaker off and took Carson's hand, bypassing the bedroom to lead him into the bathroom. Carson watched in a lovesick daze as Kurt drew a bath and slowly undressed in front of him. I never lit the candles in the living room, he thought, which was a pretty stupid thing to think, he decided, since the love of his life was undressing right there, and now he...oh...ok, he was lifting Carson's T-shirt up and tossing it off, and undoing his pants, and wow, we're both naked now, when did THAT happen?

"What are we doing?" asked Carson quietly, thinking even as he spoke that it was a pretty dumb question to ask, since they were in the bathroom, with water running in the bathtub, and they were both naked at the moment. Kurt smiled and took his hand.

"We're taking our time," he answered simply, fixing his eyes reassuringly on Carson's. "There's absolutely no rush to do anything, ok? We can go slow and enjoy ourselves. We have all night. We don't even have to do anything tonight if you don't want-"

"Oh no, I...I want," said Carson breathlessly, taking in the sight of Kurt's nude body with immense appreciation. "But...but taking our time sounds really nice." Kurt grinned and led Carson gently by the hand over to the bathtub.

"You first," he said. "I want to sit in your lap." Carson smiled shyly and kissed him on the cheek before gingerly stepping into the hot bath, sighing happily as he slid down into the water and settled his back against the rim. Kurt turned off the water and stepped in after him, slowly settling himself down until he was settled into Carson's lap, his back pleasantly flush against his chest. The water lapped gently around them, and Carson let out a contented sigh. He really loved being in the bathtub with Kurt. It was one of the most relaxing things ever, just sitting in the soothing, warm water and enjoying the tranquility of being pressed skin to skin. They didn't get to do it very much because of Rachel, so Carson definitely appreciated the opportunity, especially right before something as important as what they were planning to do tonight.

"Carsey's lost in thought," said Kurt, leaning his head up to look at Carson from underneath his long eyelashes. "So serious. What's on your mind, baby?"

Carson thought about it. What was on his mind, exactly? He realized, as he willed his mind to focus, that the main thing he was thinking about was that he was still so nervous that nothing would go right when they finally got to the main event, as it were. That he would severely fuck up his and Kurt's first time somehow.

"I'm still nervous," he said quietly. "Not that I don't want to do it, Kurtsie," he added quickly, wrapping his arms tightly around him and hugging him close. "I do. I just...I want this whole thing to be perfect, and I'm worried that I'll end up fucking it up."

"Oh, Carsey, honey," said Kurt soothingly, petting at his arms. "You couldn't possible screw it up. This whole night has been really romantic, and it will only get more so once we're making love. It's not supposed to be some perfectly coordinated thing, anyway. It never is, and that's ok. The important thing is being together in that way, you know?"

Carson nodded, even though Kurt was facing away from him and couldn't see him. "I guess you're right."

"Of course I am," said Kurt, bring one of Carson's hands up to his lips and kissing it softly. "Mmm, this is nice. I like this. We should take more baths."

"Kurtsie?" asked Carson, distracted by a new thought. He thought he'd hit upon the perfect way to eradicate any remaining nervousness.

"Hmm?" said Kurt lazily.

"When we...when we make love, um..." Carson began, not quite knowing how to phrase his question. "Um, do you...do you think you'd mind...you know...t-topping? I know we didn't discuss who would do that, but I really think you should."

Kurt wiggled around until he was turned to face Carson, sitting cross-legged across from him. "Um...if that's what you want, Carsey," he said, his eyes fixed on Carson's curiously. "Can I ask why?"

"I just...I've never topped before, obviously, and I don't want to end up doing it wrong. I don't want to hurt you, or disappoint you, and if I top that's all I'm going to be thinking about, and I don't want our first time to be like that," said Carson in a rush, relieved to have it out in the open. "I want it to be perfect. You know what you...what you're doing, so..."

Kurt brought one finger up gently to Carson's lips to silence him and leaned in, catching his lips in a slow, soft kiss that had Carson seeing fireworks.

"It's ok, Carsey," he whispered. "I'll top, ok? It will be great." Carson nodded and held his arms out, smiling when Kurt eagerly fell into them. They stayed like that for a while, although Carson couldn't tell precisely how long. It didn't matter, because Kurt was right. They had all night, and there was no rush.

By the time they had gotten out, dried each other off, and Kurt had led Carson by the hand to the bedroom, gently guiding him down onto the bed, Carson was much more relaxed and ready. This was finally happening. This was real.

"I love you so much," he whispered as Kurt crawled onto the bed beside him, leaning down for a kiss.

"I love you too, Carsey," replied Kurt. "It's going to be really good, ok?" Carson nodded and Kurt smiled, kissing him one more time before working his way down Carson's neck and chest, his lips planting impossibly light and soft kisses every few inches. He sucked one of Carson's nipples into his mouth and sucked gently, causing Carson to moan loudly. He cut the moan short out of habit, having gotten used to needing to be quiet because of Rachel, and Kurt smiled up at him.

"She's not here. You can let go," he said, and went back to working on Carson's other nipple, and god, that was definitely a thing for Carson. He hadn't even known before a couple of weeks ago that he had a nipple kink. Don't call it a kink, Carson, this is supposed to be beautiful.

His breath hitched as Kurt made his way down to his hardening dick and wrapped his lips delicately around the head, giving it a few teasing sucks, and Carson liked it, he really did, but that wasn't what he wanted right now. They had done this much before, lots of times. He really just wanted Kurt. More of him. To feel him all around.

"K-kurt," he breathed, patting Kurt carefully on the top of the head. "Um...Kurt..."

Kurt pulled off and looked up at him, his eyes clouding over with worry. "What's wrong, baby?"

"Nothing," said Carson with a smile. "Absolutely nothing, I just...I want you." Kurt smiled, nodding in understanding and coming back up to connect their lips in another kiss, this one significantly more passionate and desperate.

"You're sure you're ready?" he mumbled against Carson's lips, and Carson nodded.

"I've been ready my whole life."

Kurt smiled, kissing him once more and leaving Carson panting for breath. He reached over into the nightstand and pulled out a small bottle of lube and a box of condoms, and it finally hit Carson how real this was. He was going to have Kurt inside of him very shortly, and the very thought was practically making him explode. Kurt turned his attention back to Carson, setting the condoms off to the side and gently pushing Carson's thighs apart, sitting on his knees between them. He uncapped the lube bottle and lubed up his fingers generously before placing the bottle aside. He ran his fingers down over Carson's thigh until they reached his ass, and Carson felt one finger probing between his cheeks until it found his entrance, circling slowly and teasingly. He wasn't able to stop his hips from bucking up into the touch.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, and Kurt patted him soothingly on the leg with his clean hand.

"It's ok, Carsey. Do what feels good," he said. He gently probed until the tip of his finger had breached Carson's entrance, and Carson gasped at the feeling and the realization that a part of Kurt was now technically inside of him. Oh god, oh god, this is real, this is SO real, oh my god...

Kurt took his time, working the one finger slowly until it was fully inside of Carson. He moved it around gently, and Carson wanted to cry. Not because it hurt, or anything. It didn't. It was just so surreal to think they were connecting in that way. That this was happening and they were really consummating their relationship fully. Just them, and the night, and the rhythm of the rain tapping gently at the window. It was just overwhelming. Overwhelming but beautiful.

"Are you ok?" asked Kurt. Carson nodded.

"Wonderful," he said breathily. Kurt smiled and moved his finger around a little more.

"Think you can take two fingers now?" Carson nodded, and Kurt obliged, gingerly pressing a second finger in beside the first and opening Carson up more. Carson sighed happily, and before long, Kurt had worked up to a third finger and was gently pumping them in and out of Carson in a steady rhythm. And then his fingers brushed up against something inside him that caused Carson to shout out loud in white hot pleasure and see stars dancing in front of his eyes as his back arched involuntarily off the bed.

"Oh my fuck," he panted. "Oh my god, was that...?"

Kurt nodded. "That would be your prostate, yes," he said with a grin. "Thought I'd never find it." He brushed his fingers up against it again, and Carson moaned embarrassingly loud, thanking his lucky stars that Kurt had no neighbors close enough to hear what was going on. He pushed his hips down onto Kurt's fingers, chasing the feeling, and he seriously thought he was going to die, because surely this is what heaven felt like. If there were a heaven, that is.

"Kurt, I...can...now?" he muttered incoherently, and thankfully Kurt took the hint. He gently removed his fingers, wiping them on the towel he had brought in from the bathroom. "Put that pillow underneath yourself," he said quietly, indicating a plain white pillow at the foot of the bed. "Make yourself as comfortable as possible, ok?" Carson nodded and followed instructions, placing the pillow beneath him and adjusting as Kurt opened the box of condoms and took one out. He unwrapped the foil and tossed it aside, rolling it efficiently onto his erection and squirting more lube onto his hand, slicking himself up. He slicked Carson's entrance up a little more, as well, and then looked him in the eyes.

"You're ready?" he asked, as though searching for confirmation. Carson nodded eagerly, biting his lip.

"Mmm-hmm."

Kurt settled himself between Carson's legs and lined himself up, looking down at him and leaning in for a soft kiss. "You'll tell me if you want to stop, right?" he whispered.

"Yes," said Carson. "I love you."

"I love you too, baby," Kurt said, and with that he began to push himself in. Carson's breath hitched in his throat and he hissed at the sudden intrusion. It burned just a little bit, and he closed his eyes tightly as he waited for his body to adjust and his muscles to relax. Kurt was taking his time, pushing in slowly inch by inch, and it definitely seemed to burn less and less the more Kurt entered him, which he was thankful for. By the time Kurt was fully sheathed inside of him, the burning was mostly gone and was replaced with a feeling of pleasant fullness.

Oh god, he's inside of me. He's inside of me and we're joined and this is everything I've always dreamed it would be. God, Carson, do NOT start crying. Not now.

"Still ok?" asked Kurt, sounding worried. Carson smiled at him reassuringly and nodded.

"I've never been better," he replied. He reached up and wrapped his arms around Kurt's neck, leaning his head up to kiss him. "You, um...you can move now." Kurt smiled and nodded, and Carson felt him pulling out just a little bit before pushing back in, still going slow. The drag was delicious, and Carson thought he'd faint from the pleasure of just knowing they were joined as one. There was no going back now, and they had given themselves to each other fully. It was gorgeous.

He brought his legs up and wrapped them around Kurt's waist, trying to match the rhythm of Kurt's thrusts, which were gradually increasing in speed, and Carson groaned at the increased friction as the thrusting got faster and faster. He threw his head back against the pillows, panting as his hard, flushed erection rested heavily against his stomach, leaking and throbbing with the orgasm building up inside of him. The desire to come was overwhelming. He didn't think he'd ever been this desperate before.

"You're beautiful like this," whispered Kurt into his ear as he continued his thrusting. "You have no idea." Carson whined as Kurt shifted a little and his dick hit that magical spot inside him from before.

"Oh...oh god...K-kurt...fuck..." he panted, and then he felt one of Kurt's hands snaking between their bodies to wrap around his aching erection, beginning to pump him gently in time with his thrusts. Carson cried out, gripping onto Kurt's shoulders for dear life. His nails were digging into Kurt's skin, he knew, but he couldn't help it, because the pleasure was so overwhelming he was sure he was going to pass out at any moment.

"Kuuuurt," he moaned as Kurt thrust repeatedly into his prostate. His orgasm blindsided him completely, slamming into him unexpectedly as he twitched and came in Kurt's hand, clenching rhythmically around Kurt's dick. Kurt stroked him through it, and then he stilled inside of him and Carson felt him pulsating as he came into the condom with a whine. He lay there on top of Carson for a minute before slowly beginning to pull out, and Carson whined at the loss of the fullness as Kurt removed the condom, tied it up, and tossed it...somewhere. Carson didn't really care. All he knew was pure bliss as Kurt collapsed back beside him and wrapped him in his arms, the two of them laying there panting and silently enjoying the afterglow for several wonderful minutes.

"How do you feel?" asked Kurt after a while, reaching up to stroke his fingers through Carson's hair. Carson snuggled closer to him and smiled.

"Complete," he said. It was true. He'd never felt more fulfilled in his life than he felt right now, and it was wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. Kurt smiled and kissed him softly on the mouth.

"We should clean you up," said Kurt, looking down at Carson's stomach. "You'll get really uncomfortable very soon if we don't."

"Mmmmph," Carson mumbled in protest, cuddling closer to Kurt and burying his face in his shoulder. "Don't wanna let you go yet."

"I'll be back in a minute, baby, ok?" said Kurt, kissing his forehead reassuringly. "Just gonna get a washcloth for you." He gently removed himself from Carson's grip and got off the bed, walking gracefully toward the bathroom, and Carson greatly admired the view of his bare ass. Next time we have sex I'm going to squeeze it more, he said to himself.

"Hurry back, baby," he said, and Kurt smiled as he disappeared into the bathroom. Carson lay back against the pillows and sighed happily. He didn't think life could get any better than it was right now.

The vibrating of a phone interrupted his happy reverie, and he glanced over to the nightstand to see whose phone was the culprit threatening to encroach upon his happiness. To his utter dismay, he discovered that it was Kurt's phone, and that it was lighting up with a phone call from the one person who fucking would call right now and ruin everything. Carson certainly wasn't proud of what he did next, but he simply couldn't stop himself. He picked up the phone and answered the call, placing the phone to his ear and laying it all out on the line.

"Ok, listen, asshole," he said angrily. "What the fuck will it take for you to get a fucking clue and realize that Kurt doesn't want to talk to you?"

"What are you doing there?" Blaine asked after a moment of silence.

"What am I doing here?" Carson exclaimed. "What the fuck did you think I would do when Kurt called me crying that you'd been fucking someone else behind his back? I'm here trying to heal him from the wounds you caused, you little shit."

Blaine sighed, sounding frustrated. "Look, this isn't any of your business, so can you just go get Kurt for me?"

"That's where you're wrong, asshole," Carson hissed. "It is my business. You have no fucking idea how much it's now my business, so why don't you just go fuck yourself? And don't call him again." He hung up the phone, putting it back on the nightstand and burying his face in his hands, trying to regain his composure.

Trust that fucking asshole to horn in on a perfect evening, he thought bitterly. Go disappear, fucker. Or die. I really don't give a fuck.

A small clearing of a throat alerted him to the fact that Kurt was in the room, standing just beyond the privacy curtain and looking uncertain as he held a damp washcloth in his hand. "Carsey?" he said softly. Carson gave him an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry, Kurtsie. I shouldn't have answered your phone, I just...I can't...now that we're...this can't go on," he babbled, and to his relief Kurt was crossing over to him, settling beside him and slowly beginning to run the washcloth over his stomach.

"I understand, baby," he said soothingly as he cleaned Carson up. "Eventually he'll get it." He finished cleaning him and tossed the washcloth to join the other discarded towel on the floor before settling underneath the covers, pulling Carson close. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," said Carson with a sigh as their lips met. Aside from Blaine, it had been the most perfect night of his life, and he never wanted to forget this moment of just the two of them.

I'll die to protect you, Kurtsie. Don't ever think I won't. I love you.

The first thing Carson did the next morning when he woke up was to pinch himself hard on the arm, just to make sure the previous night hadn't been a dream. It hurt, and he smiled with absolute joy. He and Kurt had finally done it. They'd made love, and it had been perfect and beautiful and everything Carson had ever hoped it would be.

I'm seriously the luckiest son of a bitch in the whole world, he thought happily as he gazed up at Kurt's sleeping, peaceful face. It was kind of strange, being held in Kurt's arms when it was usually the other way around, but he liked it. He liked it a lot. He could definitely get used to having those strong arms holding him on a regular basis. He squeezed where their hands were joined together with interlocked fingers and kissed Kurt's hand softly.

"Morning," said Kurt, his eyes still closed. Oh, so he was awake after all.

"Morning, beautiful," replied Carson, leaning up for a kiss. "How'd you sleep?"

"Like a baby," answered Kurt with a yawn. "Oh my god, did last night really happen?"

"Sure did," answered Carson with a smile. "I hope I didn't, you know...disappoint."

Kurt chuckled. "You didn't," he assured him, hugging him closer and kissing his hair. "You were perfect." He caught Carson's lips in another kiss, this one a little more heated and intense, despite the fact that they both were only half awake. "You're magical, actually," he breathed, and Carson blushed.

"You only think that because it was the first time," he protested. "I probably suck the rest of the time. You don't know."

"Hmm, well, you do suck," said Kurt teasingly. "But, you know. In the good way," he added with a saucy raise of his eyebrows. Carson laughed.

"I try," he said, shifting a little and wincing at the realization that he could still feel exactly what happened the previous night.

"Are you ok?" asked Kurt, catching the expression on his face. Carson nodded.

"Yeah. Just a little sore, that's all," he said, cuddling close to Kurt and kissing his shoulder. "I'll be fine soon."

"It should pass soon," said Kurt. "We could, um...we could get you into a hot shower in the meantime, if you want." Carson looked up and smiled.

"Kurt Hummel, are you suggesting we take a hot, steamy shower together?" he asked teasingly, and Kurt blushed, nodding.

"Maybe," he replied coyly. "I'd say I'll race you to the bathroom, but that would be wildly unfair, considering that you're in pain and all."

"I'm not in that much pain," protested Carson, regretting the loss of Kurt's warmth as his twin got up out of bed and stretched. He held his hand out to Carson, and Carson took it gratefully as Kurt helped him out of bed.

"Come on, let's go get steamy," teased Kurt, and Carson grinned as he allowed him to lead him into the bathroom. He was very attentive once they had stepped into the shower together, soaping up a loofah and gently running it all over Carson's body, cleaning him almost reverently, as if he were something very precious. Carson had never felt more loved, and it made his heart feel very full.

"I'm so lucky," he whispered as Kurt ran the soapy sponge across his chest, and Kurt gave him a small smile.

"No, I am," he said, leaning in for a soft kiss. Considering that the shower didn't have any walls, Carson thought Kurt did a pretty good job of staying steady on his feet as Carson worked his way down his body with his mouth and gave him what he personally considered to be his best blowjob to date.

They planned to go out while they were eating breakfast at the table, but as it turned out, it never came to that. Rachel came home briefly to collect more clothes, saying she was going to just spend the weekend with Brody.

Thank fuck, Carson thought gratefully as she marched over to her room to pack her bag. Now Kurtsie and I can have some more uninterrupted time together. He was so happy that he didn't even make any smartass remarks to her, although he was sorely tempted when Kurt asked her how the mixer had gone,

"Boring," she complained. "Nobody even asked me to sing." Kurt gave Carson the side-eye, probably expecting him to make a comment, but Carson held his composure. He wasn't going to ruin their perfect weekend with petty remarks.

"Don't forget your clown makeup," he said brightly as Rachel headed out the door. She rolled her eyes and slammed it shut, and Carson sighed. Ok, he'd almost made it.

He and Kurt spent a lovely day just hanging out around the apartment, which in Carson's opinion was better than going out, anyway. They couldn't act like a couple out in public, and that was really all either of them wanted to do, he knew. They spent most of the day playing Monopoly, a game which Carson had always loathed, but which was suddenly a lot more interesting when he was playing it with his lover.

My lover. I can't believe that's what he is now, he thought in awe as he watched Kurt squeal with glee over charging him an outrageous amount of rent for Park Place with a hotel.

"You're ruthless," he whined as he forked over the last of his money and mortgaged his shitty properties to afford the rest of the rent.

"I know," said Kurt with a grin. "It's one of the best things about me, wouldn't you say?"

"Considering we've been playing this game for about four hours, not including a lunch break, I'd say it's also one of the cruelest things about you," said Carson. "Look at you, throwing your lover into poverty and forcing him to live in a cardboard box while you take all his money for yourself. You adorable little miser."

Kurt looked at him curiously, a small smile playing on the corners of his mouth. "You...you said lover," he said quietly.

"Yeah," said Carson, meeting his eyes and smiling back. "I...I guess I did."

Kurt looked at him for a minute, and then he was crawling across the game board and taking Carson's face in his hands, kissing him hard and desperate, and Carson felt the familiar stirring in his stomach as he returned the kiss with equal fervor. Somehow they ended up on top of the game board, Kurt brushing aside the game pieces and various wads of play money in order to lay down on top of it, pulling Carson on top of him. They kissed as if they would never kiss again, growing increasingly more desperate as their teeth and tongues did battle with each other and hands roamed everywhere they possibly could, and if this was a dream, then Carson never wanted to wake up.

"Carson," panted Kurt as Carson was working on a particularly awesome looking hickey. "Carson, I, um..."

"Hmm?" Carson mumbled against him, laving his tongue over the abused skin. He tastes really good here, shit.

"Can...can we do it again?" Kurt gasped out as Carson continued sucking at him. "Make love, I mean...I...I want you this time."

Carson stopped what he was doing and looked down at him, his stomach flipping and his brain shorting out.

"You...are you sure?" he asked in a whisper, and Kurt bit his lip and nodded.

"It's just, I never...Blaine and I...he never topped," Kurt said in a rush, "I never wanted him to, not after what happened at Scandals, and.."

"Wait, what?" asked Carson, confused. "The gay bar? Oh god, what did he do?"

Kurt bit his lip and looked uncomfortable. "He...he tried to...to force himself on me. I was saying no, but he was drunk, and I...he held me down..."

Carson felt a surge of anger overtake him, so strong he wanted to throw up. "He did what?" That fucking asshole. I knew it. I fucking knew it.

"I managed to stop him, it's ok," said Kurt quickly. "I just...I never felt comfortable bottoming after that. And I want my first experience with that to be with you, so...um..."

Carson shushed him with a kiss, holding him as close as he could and planting little kisses all over his cheeks when he was done. "Kurt, first of all, no, it's not ok. Billy's a fucking rapist, and I am so pissed I can't even think straight right now."

Kurt looked off to the side. "I want you," he said quietly. "If...if you want to, I mean, I just..."

"Shhh, Kurtsie, god, yes, I...I mean, I'm still nervous that I won't do it right, or something, especially after what you just told me, but..."

"Carsey, no, you'll be perfect," Kurt insisted. "I just really want to have this with you, baby. I'm so ready, you have no idea."

Carson had no idea how they managed to move from the living room to the bedroom, but before he knew it they were making out on the bed, Kurt's playlist playing on the portable speaker and their lips sliding together softly as Carson slowly undressed Kurt, taking his time and savoring every new revealed inch of skin as though he were seeing it for the first time. He worshiped all of it, leaving no inch of skin unkissed or unloved, and he would have been perfectly happy doing this forever just laying here and tasting Kurt all over. How he had wound up with this precious treasure, he would never understand, but he wasn't going to question it anymore.

"Are you sure?" he asked, reaching for the lube bottle from the night before when Kurt nodded and kissed him. Carson took a deep breath and uncapped the lube bottle, preparing to pour some out onto his fingers when there was a sudden knock on the apartment door.

"Shit," moaned Kurt, throwing one arm over his eyes. "It's probably Rachel coming back for something she forgot. I swear, that girl..."

Carson groaned in frustration. "I'm going to kill her," he said, reaching for his shirt. Thankfully, he still had his jeans on. "But not tonight. Tonight I'm going to let her in and look menacing so that she collects her shit and gets the fuck out."

Kurt giggled. "Hurry back, lover," he said teasingly, kissing Carson's hand and sliding under the covers as Carson left the room, sliding the curtain closed and making sure Kurt was completely hidden from view before heading for the door.

"I'm coming!" he said irritably as he crossed the apartment and the knocking grew persistent. He glanced down at his hand and realized he was still holding the bottle of lube.

Whatever, Trollberry won't notice, he thought, setting it down on a nearby table and sliding the door open. Unfortunately, it wasn't Rachel on the other side, although Carson almost wished it was, because the actual person he saw when he opened the door was a million times worse.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he snapped, glaring at Blaine and crossing his arms across his chest. "For fuck's sake, do you ever take a hint? Did you seriously just fly all the way out here? Seriously?

"Where's Kurt?" asked Blaine calmly, ignoring Carson's words as though they were of no importance to him.

"None of your fucking business," Carson hissed, trying to keep his voice low so as not to alert Kurt to what was going on. "He doesn't want to see you, so why don't you just go fuck off?"

Blaine smirked at him, crossing his own arms to match Carson's and looking him up and down. "Uh-huh. I bet," he said, glancing around the apartment as though he'd find Kurt hiding in plain sight. "I bet," he said in a softer tone as his eyes landed on something and darkened, and Carson realized with a sinking chest that he had seen the lube bottle. "In the bedroom, is he?" he asked in a low voice. "Waiting for you to come back? Didn't think he'd stoop so low so soon, honestly."

Carson's temper flared, and before he knew what he was doing he was grabbing Blaine by the bowtie and throwing him out into the hallway, following him out and shutting the door behind them as quietly as he could, hoping the music playing in the bedroom would distract Kurt from any noise.

"Ok, asshole, this is where you and I settle our unfinished business," he growled, pinning Blaine up against the nearest wall with both hands. "I have stood by for years while you abused my brother, and now shit has gotten so fucking real, you don't even know. I'm not going to take it anymore, and I'm sure as fuck not going to let Kurt take it, especially not now. So either you walk your ass out of this building right the fuck now and leave him alone, or I make you regret the day you were ever born. Are we clear, fucker?" Carson punctuated his point by using his hands to slam Blaine up against the wall a second time, but the other boy remained remarkably calm looking as he met Carson's glare with one of his own.

"You are just so confident, aren't you?" he asked cooly, looking Carson up and down. "You feel so good about yourself right now, don't you? I'm amused, really. You think he actually loves you?" he asked, his eyes dancing in merriment as a devilish smile began forming on his lips. "You actually think he would want you now? You're such a fool. He's using you as a distraction, you idiot. Once he's calmed down over the cheating and has let me talk to him, he'll come right back to me and leave you in the dust, just like he's done so many fucking times before, because we're soulmates, and it's exactly what you'll deserve for being a disgusting, incestuous asshole. You know what, though? I hope you enjoyed him. Really, I do. I just hope you didn't use him up too badly. I'll still need him in working order when I get him back. Did it bother you much, knowing that I got there first?"

That was it. Carson couldn't take it anymore. He felt something inside him snap, and the next thing he knew he was punching Blaine right in the face, as hard as he could. And then he did it again. And again. Blaine threw a few swings in his own defense, even hitting Carson with some of them, but Carson was undeterred, continuing to punch Blaine with all the strength he had in him, making use of all those years of martial arts classes he'd taken as a kid just in case he ever needed to defend Kurt. It seemed the time had finally come. He managed to get a firm enough hold of Blaine to throw him on the ground, and then he started kicking him for all he was worth, feeling satisfaction with every connection of his foot with Blaine's body, particularly the ones that landed anywhere near his dick.

"Fuck you, you fucking asshole!" he shouted as he continued beating Blaine senseless. "This is for every time you've used and humiliated and abused and cheated on and fucking tried to rape Kurt, and so help me I hope you feel it until your dying fucking day!" He delivered a particularly hard kick to Blaine's back and wished he was wearing shoes so that he could do much more damage. His kicks were a little lame after being out of practice for so many years, but they were keeping the other boy down, and that was the important thing.

"And you know what, Blaine?" he spat out as Blaine lay writhing in pain on the ground. "I actually hope you fucking die alone."

"Carson!" he heard Kurt yelling, and then his now fully dressed twin was throwing himself at him, pulling him off of Blaine with all his strength. "Carson stop! Stop! You'll kill him, Carson, stop, please!" He held Carson tightly in his arms, and Carson stood there shaking, trying to calm down but not being very successful.

"Oh god, Carson, what did you do?" Kurt asked, his eyes full of tears and his voice shaking as he took in the sight of Blaine whimpering in pain on the ground.

"I did it for you," Carson said shakily, and Kurt frowned at him, shaking his head.

"Carson, I...just...go wait in the bedroom for me," he said. "Please. You need to calm down, and I have to help Blaine, so just..."

"Help him why?" protested Carson, the anger coming back full force. "He's an asshole, he's a stalker, and he's an abusive fuck! Let him rot out here!"

"Carson!" Kurt shouted at him. "Just go, ok? Go into the bedroom and calm down, please!" He was crying now, and Carson took a deep breath and left him out there, marching off to the bedroom feeling angrier and more disappointed than he'd ever felt in his life. He couldn't believe this was happening right now.

Fuck you, Blaine, Fuck you, fuck you, fuck youuuuu.

Kurt watched Carson head back into the apartment, his mind racing with a million different thoughts as he assessed the situation before him. There were no neighbors on this floor, no one who could possibly have heard what was going on, and at least that was something. He didn't want the police called or for Carson to be arrested for assault. He'd lie if he had to, in order to prevent that. He crossed over to Blaine and knelt down, reaching out one hand to gingerly touch him.

"Blaine?" he asked quietly. "Can you sit up?"

"I don't know," Blaine whined, although he didn't seem to actually be in that much pain as he sat up and allowed Kurt to pull him upright. "It hurts," he complained as Kurt led him into the apartment and shut the door. He helped him into the kitchen and sat him down at the table while he went to get ice from the freezer.

"Your brother's an asshole," Blaine mumbled, and Kurt stiffened at the words. He knew there had to be a reason Carson had done what he'd done, and he had a feeling it had a lot to do with what Kurt had told him earlier about Scandals. He put some ice into a towel and sat down beside Blaine, holding it up to his swollen face and frowning as Blaine winced from the pain. Thankfully, the only thing that seemed to be damaged beyond some bruising was Blaine's face, which was swollen and bleeding slightly. At least that meant Blaine wouldn't have to go to the hospital for a broken bone or anything, although Kurt guessed that he'd be a walking collection of bruises for quite a while after tonight.

Carson, baby, I wish you hadn't done this. I understand your feelings, but violence is never the answer, baby. And I can fight my own battles.

"What are you doing here, Blaine?" he asked as he gently patted the ice compress to his ex-boyfriend's face.

"I wanted to see you," Blaine said with a pout. "You weren't answering my calls or my texts. You returned my gifts."

"Because I wasn't ready to talk to you, Blaine," said Kurt with a sigh. "You cheated on me. I was angry."

"I know, baby, and I'm sorry," said Blaine, wincing again as Kurt pressed the ice to his face. "I really am. Can't you just give me another chance? I miss you, and I don't know why I did what I did, I just was really lonely. I can't stand losing you, Kurt. I won't lose you."

Kurt shook his head, handing Blaine the ice to hold on his own and sighing again. "Blaine, I can't do that. It's really over, and I can't and won't go back to you. You need to understand..."

"But why?" Blaine whined. "I miss you, and it wasn't my fault I was so lonely, ok? I just...please give me one more chance, Kurt. Please?"

"No, Blaine."

"But we're so good together, Kurt," said Blaine, putting the ice compress down and leaning in to Kurt, who leaned back away from him. "You and I are soulmates, remember?"

"No, we're not, Blaine," said Kurt, leaning further back the more Blaine invaded his space. "We never were."

"Yes we were, baby, come on, don't you remember?" pleaded Blaine. "I don't want to lose you." He leaned in and caught Kurt's lips in a rough, soulless kiss, and Kurt was so shocked that he had no choice but to sit there and let it happen for a minute, much longer than he wanted, which was no kiss at all, what the fuck, Blaine, before he finally got a hold of his brain and pushed Blaine off of him.

"Blaine, no!" he said forcefully. "I said no, and I mean no, so please just...please go! Go get a hotel for the night, I don't care, but you can't stay here. You just can't. I'll talk to you tomorrow if you really want to, but I just can't tonight, ok?"

"But," Blaine began, but Kurt cut him off.

"NO."

Blaine looked at him sadly, and then an angry look darkened his face as he got up from the table, grabbing the ice compress and taking it with him as he hobbled toward the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow, then," he said, sounding slightly threatening, and Kurt swallowed nervously as he watched Blaine go. He sat there at the table for a minute, trying to regain his composure and process what the hell had just happened tonight, before he got up and headed back toward the bedroom.

Carson felt like throwing up or screaming or both as he paced the bedroom, his mind racing just as fast as his heart, and his stomach feeling sicker than it ever had. He'd been waiting in the room for Kurt, trying desperately to do as his twin wanted and calm down. He tried, he really tried, but he couldn't. Every time he thought about Kurt defending that asshole, even after all Blaine had done to him, he felt like punching a wall. Deep down, he wondered if there were still feelings that Kurt had for the other boy, even just a little bit, and the very thought made him so nauseous he had to sit down for a minute. He couldn't hear anything that was going on out in the kitchen because the iPod was still playing in the bedroom, and he honestly preferred it that way. If he had to hear that asshole's voice as he tried defending himself and making himself look like the innocent victim to Kurt, he would probably beat him all over again. And enjoy every minute.

He doesn't deserve your help or your pity, Kurt. Come on. He got what he deserved.

After a few minutes he took a deep breath and gathered up the courage to peek outside the privacy curtain for a second. Maybe Blaine was gone and he and Kurt could talk about what happened. He took the curtain in his hand and pulled it back just a little, instantly closing it again when the sight of Blaine kissing Kurt met his eyes.

Oh god. Oh god! he thought frantically, his nausea growing stronger by the second. Kurt hadn't exactly been stopping him from kissing him, and the realization made Carson's heart race and his head pound with blood as he paced around the room, unsure what to do with himself.

Oh my god, he was right. The asshole was fucking right, he thought as he frantically rooted through Kurt's closet for the bag he had arrived in New York with, beginning to throw his clothes inside. Things will never change. They'll never get better. Kurt will go back to him every time, and I...I was...I was just a distraction after all. A rebound. I should have known. I should have listened to my gut in the first place and not let myself believe he could possibly love me that way. What the fuck was I thinking? Oh god, I was such a idiot, and I lost my virginity and...

He sat down sadly on the bed for a second to zip up his full bag, and felt tears prickling the corners of his eyes. He knew, deep down, that even if he had known from the beginning that he was just a rebound, it wouldn't have made any difference. That he loved Kurt so much he wouldn't have cared if all he got was a few weeks of happiness with him. He would have taken it, and he would have been grateful to even get that. This hurt him more than anything else, really. The tears had really started to fall when Kurt finally came back, sighing and sitting beside him on the bed.

"Blaine's gone, and I really hope he doesn't call the police, because..." he began, trailing off as he noticed Carson's face. "Carson, is that your bag...are...are you crying?"

The fact that Kurt was watching him cry only made him cry harder, and Carson looked at him with wet eyes. Kurt looked shocked, and Carson realized that his twin had barely ever seen him cry before. Not like this.

"You kissed him," he managed to croak out, and Kurt looked taken aback.

"What?" he said in disbelief. "Carson, no...no, it's not what you think, he..."

"No, Kurt, listen to me," Carson said, placing a hand out to stop him from speaking any further. "Ever since we started...whatever we started that night in your bed...I always had the fear in the back of my mind that maybe I was just a rebound. And you know what? If you had told me right then and there that you only wanted me to distract you from your hurt over him, I...I would have been ok with that," he said, his tears only flowing more freely the longer he spoke. "It would have hurt like hell, but I would rather have had a few weeks of happiness with you than never have any at all."

"But Carson," Kurt protested, "You really don't unders-"

"But then, as time went on," Carson continued, interrupting him, "I let my guard down. I let myself believe that you really loved me. That's what hurts the most, Kurt. And I don't think it's ever going to stop hurting, so I just...I'm done. I'm letting you go. You can go back to Blaine." Kurt's eyes widened at the name, and Carson realized this was also the first time Kurt had heard him refer to the other boy by his actual name. Guess this is a night for firsts. " I don't care anymore," he lied. "It hurts, and I'm going to leave now before it gets any worse." He slung his bag over his shoulder and got up from the bed, wiping his eyes on his sleeve as he walked.

"Carson, no!" Kurt exclaimed, trying to pull him back by the arm, but Carson shook him off, walking as fast as he could across the apartment and shoving the door open. "Carson, wait! Wait! WAIT, PLEASE!" He was crying now, following Carson out the door in his bare feet and begging him. "Carsey, no! No, please, you can't...you don't understand, Carson...CARSON!"

Carson ignored him, even though the desperation in Kurt's voice was piercing through his very soul, and made his way out of the building and into the cool night air. He stopped at the side of Kurt's building and slumped down to the ground, his tears overtaking him at last. He pulled his knees up to his chest and cried like he'd never cried before. He cried for what he'd had, and he cried for the happy future he had just lost. He felt like there were walls closing in on him from all sides, even though he was outdoors, and the panic in his chest was rising with every passing second. He just wanted to run away, but he couldn't even find the energy to stop crying and get up off the cold ground.

It's all my fault, Kurtsie. I should have known better than to get my hopes up when you obviously still loved him. I shouldn't have even put you in this position. I should have stopped you that first night and not let it get any further than one kiss, and then neither of us would have been hurting so much right now. I'm sorry. I love you.

His panic finally subsided and he was out of tears as he sat there staring blankly into the air for a few more minutes. Small droplets of rain started to fall on the concrete, and he decided he should at least get to his car before it started to pour. He could calm down there, and maybe...maybe he could talk to Kurt later and apologize. He gathered his bag and stepped off the curb, heading across the street where he had parked his rental car.

The lightning bolt came out of nowhere.