Blaine

Years past. Two. Three. It may have been four and Blaine had simply lost count of the last time he spoke to, or even saw Kurt. He'd had a string of relationships in those years since his disastrous attempt at winning Kurt's heart. Some relationships were promising and could have last a lot longer than what they did, but Blaine wasn't ever really fully invested in any of them. He felt bad for the ones that got away because he always felt that he was just using them or keeping them around until the next best thing turned up in tight pants and perfectly coiffed hair. But none of them were the best.

The ones that he really shouldn't have wasted his time in usually ended with Blaine getting punched in the balls or a drink being thrown in one of their faces. One time, an overly jealous boyfriend saw Blaine flirting with a customer at the bar, while he was working, and he jumped over the bar and sprayed Blaine with a hose that landed ginger ale all over him.

Even music wasn't the same. He was convinced that the only reason he was still in the same band with Jeff and Nick was because they wouldn't let him quit. He hadn't written a song in a long time that was any good and Matty pretty much gave up on being in the band because of Blaine's drama and started a new band. Jeff always pointed out that Matty's new band wasn't really good and on a drunken night, Matty punched Jeff in the face at a Battle of the Bands after party for saying so. Blaine, of course, had Jeff's back and got escorted out of the bar for saying that Matty could always rejoin his old band as a back up singer. At least he might have people listening to his music then. They had never really made up after Matty kept inserting his opinions about Kurt all those years ago. Matty was too nosy for his own good.

But one hot, summer day changed all that.

Blaine had just gotten out of an audition for another pianist job for a new Broadway show and decided to hop into the nearest coffee shop to grab an iced coffee. The weather was sweltering and humid and no one in their right mind was hanging outside. Blaine had walked only three blocks and he already felt sticky from the humidity and heat. The coffee shop was packed and everyone seemed to have the same idea as Blaine. No one had anywhere to go when they could sit in a place with air conditioning.

He got in line, not caring that the line was almost out the door. The cool air suddenly made his skin perfectly aware that he had been sweating and he wiped his brow. Moving out of the way of a woman trying to leave, the sun had shone down on the face of a wrist watch from across the room and caught Blaine right in the eye. He shielded his eye instantly and when he turned his head away he saw him. Him. Kurt.

Kurt sat at a table in the corner with a half eaten muffin and an empty cup of coffee. A briefcase was at his side and folders filled with paperwork was all over the table. He had his face buried in them. It was like nothing had changed since the first time Blaine walked into a coffee shop and saw him sitting there the morning after they first met. He was still beautiful as ever.

Blaine had never went out of his way to stay out of places that he and Kurt used to go to, but in all these years, he had never seen him. Not at bars, movie theaters, Broadway theaters, parties, coffee shops… no where. Not once. But he'd long forgiven Kurt for what happened because the way he saw it, it was a long time ago and he can't change the past. He did try his best to not think about Kurt because even though he felt Kurt strung him along, he still felt something for him because under all the back and forth and insecurities, Kurt was his dream guy. He was fun and gorgeous and had an amazing heart. He was smart and talented. Through all of their problems, Blaine always felt drawn to Kurt in ways he couldn't explain.

With the endless string of relationships Blaine had, he knew now that after he lost Kurt, he was still trying to find him again. He looked for him in every man he dated, slept with, and had relationships with. In some it was the way they dress or styled their hair. Those were the ones that ended badly because he saw Kurt on the surface.

The ones that could have and should have lasted longer, showed traits of Kurt's inner beauty. The endless amount of caring for everyone around them, the delicate way they handled emotions; everyone of them was Kurt, but none of them truly was. As the saying goes: there could only be one.

Kurt

After what happened with Vin and Blaine, Kurt's personal life was changed drastically. He knew he had to change and be comfortable with himself before letting himself share his life. Unfortunately, years had passed and even after he grew love himself again, he remained single. He had thrown himself into his work and dedicated himself to that. He spent more time with Puck and his family and on weekends, instead of bar hopping and looking to fill an empty hole, he took classes. He took a pottery class, a class on how to make accessories, he and Rachel took a self defense class once, but after Rachel accidentally broke Finn's nose, Rachel stopped going. He convinced Puck to go running with him on Saturday and Sunday mornings, and lastly, he chaperoned countless school functions. His life was beginning to form a purpose again.

That's not to say that he was completely happy. No amounts of self work could make him feel better about what he did to Vin and especially Blaine. Sometimes it seemed like every good deed he did was to squash the guilt he felt about hurting Blaine.

At first, he went out of his way to avoid places that Blaine could have been, but over time those places became okay again and he's return from time to time. Unlike, Blaine, he did see Blaine around, but whenever he saw him, he would turn and go the other direction or leave. He didn't want to bother Blaine or cause any more trouble for him. He missed him often. Without Blaine, he didn't really have a best friend that he could talk to the way he did Blaine anymore. There was Rachel, but Rachel was sometimes judgmental and Blaine knew how to listen more. Puck was a man's man and didn't know how to listen all the time either. Puck was a man who wanted to fix things, so if Kurt went to him to talk, Puck wanted to fix Kurt's problems instead of just being an ear for him to vent. No one was as perfect as Blaine.

Every week, almost, he'd go somewhere and see a flier from Blaine's band about a concert or show somewhere. When the nights hit him that he missed Blaine the most, he'd go to the concerts and hide, just to listen to Blaine's voice. He made sure that Blaine never saw him though. He listened as the music changed over the years and knew that if the songs being sung where written by Blaine, they weren't a reflection of his life anymore. He often wondered how Blaine was and desperately wanted to find out, but he stuck to leaving him alone because he felt it was best. He didn't want to ruin Blaine's life anymore.

All in all, his life was good and he was content until he thought of Blaine. Over time, he thought of Blaine less, but there wasn't a day that went by where he didn't think of Blaine at least once. He thought he'd done a good job of leaving Blaine alone so that Blaine could heal and learn to be happy again, but one day; one hot, sticky, summer day; all of that changed.

Plunk. A mug was put down near the edge of the table where he sat at a coffee shop. It startled him and he looked at the liquid inside. Hot tea with lemon.

There was only one person who knew he liked hot tea with a lemon wedge.

Kurt didn't dare to look up. Instead, his hand slowly and delicately covered the top of the mug and he stared at a chip on the handle.

"You were scowling," the voice said.

He gulped. "Thank you." Nerves crept up on Kurt quickly.

"Can I sit down?"

Kurt nodded swiftly, still not making eye contact.

"Hi." Silence. "Can you please look at me? It's been a while."

Kurt finally brought his eyes up and saw him. Blaine. Still gorgeous, Blaine Anderson. "It's been four years."

"That long?" Blaine itched his forehead. "It feels that long."

Kurt nodded, trying to avert his eyes again.

"I guess I kept thinking that I'd run into you sooner than four years, but…" He trailed off, reading Kurt's expression. "Would you rather have not seen me?"

"No!" Kurt finally piped up. He reached his hand across the table, knocking over a pile of files onto the other side of the table and touching Blaine's fingertips on the edge of the table. "Stay. Please. I… I'm sorry. I guess I just…"

"Yeah. Me too," Blaine answered, though only assuming he was thinking the same thing.

"S-so how are you?"

A small part of Blaine wanted to tell Kurt that he was great and everything was wonderful in his life even though he was pretty sure that nothing was wonderful. He took a deep breath. "Uh," he scratched the back of his head. "Kind of miserable actually."

"Really?" Kurt looked at Blaine sympathetically. "I'm sorry to hear that." He was so sure that Blaine would pick his life up and move on from the last time they saw each other. Blaine was so much stronger than Kurt was and Kurt would have bet money on Blaine turning his life around ten times better than Kurt had.

Blaine rocked his head as he considered something. "Not nearly as sorry as I am to realize that I said it and it's true. I mean, at what point was this supposed to get easier? I blink my eyes and suddenly I'm thirty and alone. Nick and David are married and I'm still bartending, hoping to get another job for a Broadway show."

Kurt went into counselor mode and slid the other half of his muffin over to Blaine. He also poured half of the tea Blaine got him into his empty coffee cup and gave the rest of the tea to Blaine. "Do you feel stuck?"

"Extremely. I feel like I keep trying to get twenty six back, but the further away from it I get, the more I just fuck everything up."

"Why do you think that?"

Blaine fingered the uneaten muffin a little and crumbled a piece off. He squished it under his finger and licked the pieces that stuck to it off. "I've lost friends and didn't think twice about it because I was so self-destructive that I stopped caring. I went through men and relationships like it was nothing and I don't miss any of them. Well," he paused. "I guess I miss one, but I sort of ruined that for myself." He took another bit of the muffin and sipped the tea. He looked across the table at Kurt and saw that the nervous expression was gone and now he wore one of caring and openness.

"Were you purposely self-destructive or was it an accident?"

"Don't psychologists believe there are no real accidents?"

The smallest of smiles flickered across Kurt's lips and then disappeared just as quickly. "I wouldn't say that."

"I mean, it wasn't an accident that I walked into this coffee shop and sat down with you."

"I think what you're describing is cause and effect within a realm of choices. You see, you chose to come to this coffee shop for whatever reason. Then you chose to come over when you saw me. You could have chosen some other coffee shop and you could have chosen to ignore me when you saw me."

"Right," Blaine mumbled sarcastically. As if I could choose to ignore your presence. "So, what about you?" he asked. "How has life treated you?"

"Um. Okay. I work a lot. That's about it."

"I can see that." Judging by the amount of paperwork, he assumed Kurt had kept himself busy. "So, four years… just work?"

"Yeah kind of. I took a few odds and ends classes like painting and stuff, but mostly it was just to keep busy. But I don't want to talk about that."

"What do you wanna talk about?"

"I want to talk about you some more. Is that okay?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Why do you think you're stuck at twenty-six?"

"Because that's when everything stopped."

"What do you mean?"

"Kurt…" Silence again. Blaine was trying to speak with his eyes, but Kurt wasn't trying to have a telepathic conversation, even though he looked back into Blaine's honey eyes just like he used to. "I was twenty-six when the last time we saw each other."

Kurt cleared his throat and broke their eye contact. "I know." He looked down. There was another bout of silence. "So, is that what we're talking about now?"

"Yeah… I guess so." He waited for Kurt to look up again. "I want you to know that I forgave you a long time ago. Everyone makes mistakes and it was a long time ago."

Now it was Kurt's turn. "I don't know if this means anything now, but I'm sorry. I know it looked and sounded bad, but it wasn't really the way it seemed."

"It's in the past, Kurt."

"Not for me." At first he averted his eyes, but then he forced himself to look Blaine in the eyes because he needed to get this right. "I've waited all this time to tell you that I think about that night everyday. I've spent four years trying to atone for something that I can never make right. Never in my life did I think that I could be that cruel to someone. And of all people… I was cruel to you. I don't deserve your forgiveness."

"Yes you do. Everyone deserves forgiveness at some point in their life. Whether you feel like you deserve it or not, you have it. Please don't hate yourself over this anymore."

"The thing is, looking back on the past decade, you were the only person I ever loved and look how I treated you."

"You were scared."

"Like that's an excuse?"

"Kurt, you'd never been in an adult relationship. I mean, you were an adult and in relationships, but you were never in a relationship where a future was a definite. The closest thing to one you had was Vin and look how that went."

"Doomed from the start," Kurt said as he thought about Vin, something he hadn't done often. "Mistakes are how we learn. If we're lucky, we won't hurt anyone in the process, but unfortunately, it happens. And unfortunately it was me who was hurt, but you weren't without pain either."

"How could you be the one comforting me on this?" Kurt asked with a barely there smile.

Blaine actually did smile. "I had a lot of time to think about this and come to terms with it."

"I see."

"And for the record, since you said it, I loved you too." This finally broke Kurt from his shell and Blaine was able to see the twenty-four year old Kurt that was frantically running back to the library to save his place at a table. "God, you are still beautiful." Blaine was lost in the moment and didn't even realize that he said that out loud.

"You look like you've got a couple gray hairs," Kurt teased.

Blaine laughed. "You're probably right."

"Do you believe in fate, Blaine?"

Blaine really thought about it. "Maybe. Do you?"

"I never did. Just choices and consequences."

"And now?"

"I think my mind might be changing."

"I don't believe in fate."

"You don't?"

"No. I used to, but over the years I think it changed to me believing in chances. Good chances and bad chances. There are ones that you take and ones that you don't."

"But what if the universe pushes for those chances to end up a certain way?"

"Then I guess the result would be us."

Kurt smiled. "And what's that?"

"Two people who keep getting pushed together through accidents, mistakes, choices, both good and bad, and even though we keep deciding that this time would be the last time… here we are. It's been over five years since we met and we're still sitting across from each other."

"Is that what this is? A chance?"

"Maybe."

"So, what do we do?"

"It'd be a shame to give the universe one more thing to do, wouldn't it? There are much more important things to deal with than two people who keep missing their chance."

"It would be, wouldn't it?" Both men smiled a real smile for what felt like the first time in years. Everything else up until now was a lie until they smiled upon each other again.

"Do you wanna go catch a movie or something?" Blaine asked, still looking deep in Kurt's eyes.

Kurt immediately started clearing the table of his paperwork and folders and files. "I'd love to."

Blaine helped then piled the untouched tea and uneaten muffin into one mug. He left it there for the waitress to come and pick up and left with Kurt into the hot, sticky, heat of the summer. "Hey, I have an idea. Why don't we drop all your stuff off, then catch a train to Coney Island? If you don't have anything planned, at dusk they're playing a movie. We can sit on the grass and watch after spending the afternoon playing around the different attractions."

"I haven't been there in a very long time."

"Neither have I."

"Okay. Great. Um. I still live in the same place, so, we have to take the train around the corner."

"Sounds good to me." Blaine responded.

Kurt couldn't believe the turn of events. When he woke up this morning, it was just another day. Another lonely day where he'd focus on work. But here he was walking next to Blaine, of all people, and feeling Blaine's hand slip into his as they continued to walk.

And even as he drifted off to sleep early the next morning, he could still feel the warmth of Blaine's hand because Blaine was still holding it. He dreamt of the past and of the future he so longed for. When he woke up and saw that Blaine sleeping next to him wasn't a dream after all, he started to think that maybe Blaine was right and that maybe there were only chances to take. Maybe life was only full of chances and it was up to you to take them or let them go. Maybe Kurt and Blaine weren't meant for each other when they were teenagers and that's why they never spoke at competitions. Maybe they weren't meant for each other at twenty-four or twenty-five because they needed to learn something. But if the universe kept putting them together, there could only be one explanation for it and it would be that Kurt and Blaine, whatever the age, were meant to be together. If one thing was for sure, Kurt would not miss his chance this time.

THE END