After his fiasco of a day, Kurt actually returned to his apartment with a smile on his face. He felt like things were getting back on track with Blaine and hoped that they could be the kind of friends that they used to be. Although, a part of him that he was ignoring was jumping for joy that he was able to feel the touch of Blaine's lips on his again. He knew he shouldn't want it, but Blaine's kisses always felt right.

Kurt found himself humming as he put the key in the lock and opened the door. His smile immediately went away and he stood, paralyzed in the moment at the sight of someone, not Puck, sitting at his kitchen table. He gulped, unafraid because the person wasn't a stranger, but suddenly angry at the sight of this person.

Vin was sitting at the table. A small suitcase was sitting by his feet and a key chain was being twisted in his hands. Simply put, he looked like a dog that had done something wrong and thought he was about to be struck.

When Kurt was about to unglue himself from the open door way he shut the door loudly, attempting not to slam it, but being unsuccessful. He tossed his keys in the bowl where he and Puck kept their key chains and then looked back at Vin.

Vin look a silent breath. The whites of his eyes were red. "I still have the key to the apartment," he said softly. He took another breath. "Kurt, I-" Vin gulped, not knowing where to start really. He put the keys down on the place mat and covered his face for a moment. He stood up, his posture looking defeated and tired, and took in Kurt's outfit. "You went out."

"I went to see a friend."

"Blaine?"

"Yes."

"I went to see a friend too. I hoped he could help me make sense of this whole thing."

"You mean the huge lie you kept and how you seemed to have no problem treating me like I was less than?"

Vin inhaled a shaky breath. He didn't want to fight. He knew Kurt was right after all. "Yes. I went to got talk about how I let it get so bad and how I didn't know what to do to get you to forgive me."

"You could have started with doing what I asked. I left you a note telling you that I'd talk to you when I was ready. You coming to my home and forcing me to talk to you isn't what I call me being ready."

"I wanted to… give you time, but… Kurt, something happened. I went to see Georgie and I was saying how all this was my fault and…"

"And?" Kurt was so mad right now that whatever Vin had to say couldn't possibly make him more infuriated.

"Georgie kissed me." Vin's mouth gaped open as he waited for Kurt to say or do something. When nothing happened he continued. "He kissed me, but I swear I didn't kiss him back. I pushed him away and I told him that I wasn't there for that and I only wanted you." He seemed to be trying to get as many things out as fast as possible.

Kurt remembered Georgie. He was one of the creeps that Kurt met at the party. He did notice that the red headed man had fierce eyes for Vin. It only made sense that he would made a move when he thought Vin was most vulnerable. He wanted to be mad at Georgie, but he was so angry already that it barely registered. Instead he was angry that Vin thought Georgie was best to go see when he needed someone to talk to.

Before he even registered what he was thinking or doing, the words were out of Kurt's mouth. "Well that makes us even then because Blaine kissed me." Kurt almost gasped at the sound of his own voice saying it. He just admitted his wrong.

Vin's face fell even more, if that could have been possible. "He ki-" Tears welled in Vin's eyes, but didn't pool over. "Did you- No. I don't want to know that." He meant to ask if Kurt kissed Blaine back, but he felt so awful as it were that he didn't want to make himself feel worse. He'd rather live in ignorance and imagine Kurt pushing Blaine away the same way he pushed Georgie away. "I knew he had a thing for you. I mean, I thought he must have, but I wasn't sure."

"Why are you here, Vin?" Kurt seemed to be unaffected as Vin rambled about Blaine.

"I needed to tell you about what happened with Georgie, but I couldn't tell you over the phone. I-I am so sorry, Kurt. About everything. It's all my fault."

"You drove all the way here to tell me about a kiss?"

Vin wiped his eyes and swallowed down the lump in his throat. He really took in Kurt's body language and expression. "Y-You don't seem to care. How are you so calm? Some other man kissed me and that doesn't bother you?"

"I'm sorry if I'm not showing the right emotion for you," Kurt said sarcastically. "I'm too busy trying to figure out the appropriate way to express seething right now without waking up the entire building."

"So you are mad that Georgie kissed me?"

"Fuck, Vin! That's what chapter you're on?" Kurt was yelling now. "That fact that some sleezy creep kissed you, is so not on my radar right now. You pushed him away, I can't be mad. What I can be mad at is that you didn't give a shit to give me time to process the fucked up shit you pulled this week." He ran a hand through his hair. "I mean, really, Vin."

"I'm sorry."

"That's not enough. Not this time. You lied. Big time."

The tears came back full force. "Please," Vin begged. "I'll explain everything. Please give me a chance to explain." He went over to Kurt and tried to hug him. Kurt didn't return the embrace and listened to the grown man's sobs. Vin slipped down to his knees and hugged Kurt's waist, burying his face in Kurt's hips. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please. Pleeeeaaassse."

"Get up," Kurt ordered blankly, his voice back to normal. He was tired and so angry his teeth could feel it. For the first time in his life, someone else's tears only annoyed him. I'm the one who's supposed to be the bigger person? He thought.

Vin sniffled. "I'm sorry." He stood up and wiped his eyes again. He coughed and sniffled. "I'm sorry. I just- please, Kurt. I need to explain. I'll tell you everything. Please."

Kurt closed his eyes and thought in the silence that was gathered between them for the moment. He inhaled and exhaled then opened his eyes. He touched his hand to his forehead and began to speak. He sounded tired and made himself not sound annoyed. "Go sit in the living room. I'm going to make some tea. Do you want some?" If we're going to talk. We might as well talk. He wasn't ordering Vin this time by telling him to go in the living room, he was merely giving Vin a chance to calm down.

"Yes, please. Can I help?"

"No. I'll take care of it. Chamomile, right?"

"You know what tea I drink, when I'm…?" He trailed off.

Kurt sighed, disbelieving that Vin had to ask. "You lived with me for a month and I tell you I love you; don't you think I'd know what kind of tea you drink when you're upset or stressed out?" Kurt suddenly was reminded of Blaine and how Blaine knew that Kurt liked tea with lemon when he was stressed. He wondered if Vin knew too. By the surprised tone that Vin had when he found out Kurt knew his tea preference made Kurt guess that Vin did know his.

"You're much better at this than I am." Kurt wasn't sure what Vin meant, but stayed silent. "I'll just go sit in the living room."

Kurt made the tea in silence and tried to think of what to say. The whole Blaine thing had been glossed over and swept under the rug during their discourse that Kurt was beginning to think that Vin thought Kurt meant that Blaine only kissed Kurt tonight. He had said that they were even now, but he knew that was far from the truth. Georgie kissed Vin, and if Vin were telling the truth, Vin didn't kiss Georgie. Blaine kissed Kurt and Kurt kissed him back, not just tonight, but several times before. They were certainly not even. Kurt thought about how he had been lying to Vin for a while now. Should he have the right to be angry? Maybe now was as good a time as any to come clean. He decided that Kurt's form of lying and Vin's form were two different things. Kurt kissed another man, but Vin lied about his life since the day they met. He wanted to say that Vin's lie was worse because now he wasn't sure which person was the real Vin. The Vin he thought he knew and had feelings for, or the Vin who treated him like crap and took him to a swinger party that he used to attend regularly?

He brought the streaming mugs of tea into the living room and sat on the other end of the couch, angling himself to face Vin.

"You have every right to be angry with me," Vin started. "I should have told you when we started being exclusive what my real life was life."

"You think?"

Vin took a sip of his tea and looked deep into the liquid, remembering something. He looked back up at Kurt, putting his mug down. "I started coming to New York About three times a year to get, what I thought this thing was, out of my system. I didn't want to be gay. I knew I was, but I also knew my family and I couldn't be me and be their son."

Kurt stayed silent because he knew that saying anything in opposition to this particular topic would only be cruel. Kurt knew he had is easy having a completely loving and accepting family. He blew on his tea and took a sip, feeling the heat go down his throat.

"When I was in college I heard about some guys in a GSA going to New York City and I sort of gathered up the courage to go and I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. You get here, walk out of the Port Authority and everything is like arriving on Elis Island for the first time, you know? You feel like your wildest dreams have come true." Kurt did know. He felt the same thing the first time he stepped foot onto NYC concrete. "For the first time, I could be me and the only people who cared were other people who were attracted to me. I went to the bars and men looked at me the way I always wanted to be looked at and I could look back without being in fear. I went to bath houses and men fought over me." He looked surprised. "Actually fought… over me.

"I never told anyone because my parents were alumni and donors and I didn't want it getting back to them. Instead, I dated girls and then would take my college breaks in New York. It was all I looked forward to. Then college ended and I went back home to Vermont and got a job at the middle school. New York was still a secret thing and I went alone. I still didn't tell anyone I was gay until the father of a student approached me during a student teacher conference. He gave me his card and told me to call him because he knew. Man, he looked right at me and he just knew. He said 'Do your coworkers know?' I was so taken aback that I didn't know if I was angry or relieved because I hadn't told anyone.

"I called him a week later and he took me out to meet some people. That's where I met another guy who invited me to the parties."

"The one you took me to?"

"Yes." He reached for his tea again, but pulled his hand back. "I didn't know. I was so nervous the first time I went. After the bathhouses and the dance club back rooms, I thought that was what being gay meant. It was just sex, right?" He finally paused hoping to get a reaction from Kurt.

"What?" Kurt asked.

"I was hoping you might have some opinion on the matter, so far."

"I have lots of opinions, but none of them are appropriate to say. I'm not going to shit on your coming out story, no matter how misguided it was. Everyone's different and everyone's scared, but not everyone had it as easy as I did, so I can't really judge. There weren't any gay role models to look to, but you have being gay wrong."

"I know!" Vin emphasized. "That's where you entered my life. "I had no idea what it meant to be gay until I met you. I only saw one gay couple in my life and even then, it was much later."

Kurt wanted to role his eyes. It was like he was talking to someone who was clueless about themselves. "Being gay isn't a lifestyle choice. There's no right or wrong way to be gay, but thinking that there is only one way based on secret orgy parties is wrong."

"I know. I know that now. I thought that being gay was only about sex. I was sort of brought up to think that. I mean, I know that being attracted to and having sex with men makes me gay, but I didn't know that I could just be me."

"What do you mean?"

"When I met you… You were just… I don't know how to explain it. Unafraid, I guess. I invited you back to my hotel room and you asked me out for coffee instead. It wasn't about sex. It was about a connection. You didn't want a quick fuck or anything like the other men I'd met or been with. You wanted to talk and ask questions. I'd never experienced that before. You, unabashedly just wanted me, the person. When I started to compare my secrecy to you and your pride about who you are I," Vin took a breath and licked his lips. "I couldn't bring myself to admit that not only was I hiding, but I made it so no one was looking. I was in a game of hide-and-go-seek where no one was the seeker."

"Why? Why couldn't you have told me? Instead, you wove this lie of a life and made me think that you were someone you're clearly not. Am I some judgmental person who wouldn't understand that?"

"No. You're not. It wasn't you. It was me. I was ashamed. I'm still ashamed."

"So which Vin is the real you?"

"This one." He tried to take Kurt's hand in his, but Kurt shied away from his touch. He wasn't ready to be that forgiving. "All that back there in Vermont, it's a farce. It's a cover so no one would know that I was huge homo. You don't get it yet. I became a whole new person when I met you. Not the person I wanted to be, but the person I was always meant to be."

Kurt held in a scoff. He heard this line before. Then the same person who said it left him for someone else a few months later. "You think I haven't heard that before?"

"I mean it."

"I'm sure the last guy who said it to me meant it too. He also meant it when he said it to the person he left me for. You and I have lived two very different lives. I can't teach you how to be in a relationship and I can't teach you how to be yourself. I came out in a small town very similar to yours and I was bullied and mocked every day. I get that I had a support system to go home to and you didn't. Really, I get it, but that doesn't give you the excuse to treat me like I was nothing. If I was so special to you, then you should at least have been cordial. Did you know that there are straight guys who are nice? You took the persona of someone who was mean. Not to mention that dropping a bomb on your family the way you had planned it, is a complete dick move. Whether your parents are supportive or not, they deserve more than that and they certainly deserve more than a last minute informative comment about you moving to New York. I don't know how you got yourself into this, but you are an entirely different person than I thought. I don't like that person. Not even close. That person has no respect for anyone. Not his family, not his friends, not even himself. And I don't know if I can believe that this Vin is the real one."

There was a long pause as both men took in what Kurt just said. Kurt was trying to register what just slipped out of his mouth. What was he saying? What did it mean?

"So… if you can't believe that the person who would drive hours to admit that he was wrong and beg for forgiveness isn't the person you fell in love with, and if you don't like the other Vin… where does that leave us?"

Kurt inhaled and exhaled through his nose. Was he actually going to say it? Could he even say it? "I don't know."

"Please Kurt. Don't do this. Please. Baby, please. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I know you are… and so am I."

"No. Don't. This can't be over. Please, Kurt. Please. Baby, please. I love you."

"I know, but-"

"No. I-I need you. I can't go back to who I was. I need you. I need us. You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I can't go back to being miserable. I love you so much. Please, Kurt. Don't. Don't end this. I'm so sorry. I know I made a mistake. Please. I can make it better."

"How, Vin? How? I don't know what to believe anymore."

"Believe in us. We can be happy. We'll be together and happy. I need you. I love you. I made a mistake. I can't do this without you."

Kurt stood up.

"Where are you going?" Vin asked with a tear stained face.

"To bed. It's late and I can't think anymore. We need to sleep on all this and revisit this in the morning."

"Okay." Vin faked a weak smile because he was thanking the heavens for little miracles. He made his way over to Kurt and embraced him. This time Kurt gave him a weak hug back. He didn't squeeze, but put his arms around Vin's shoulders.

Vin's hands started roaming around Kurt's back and rubbing the fabric that clung to his skin. Shortly after Kurt felt Vin's lips on his neck and Vin pressed himself closer. Kurt backed up. "Wait. W-what are you doing?"

Vin took a step closer and put his hands on Kurt's hips. "I want to show you how sorry I am."

Kurt started to feel his skin crawl and all he could think of was Georgie and the other creepy men at the party. "I believe you're sorry. You don't need to show me."

"Please, Kurt? I need to be close to you. I need to know that we're going to be okay." He moved closer again.

Kurt backed up once more. "No. I believe that you're sorry, but we're not having sex tonight. I can't. Not this time. We're not sweeping this under the rug by fucking like we do with all our other fights. I'll get you some blankets. You're sleeping on the couch."

"But-"

"No, Vin. I'm telling you no and you need to respect that. I wasn't ready to talk to you yet, but you forced me to. Now, I'm not ready to get back into bed with you. That's something I won't budge on. You're sleeping on the couch and after we talk over breakfast tomorrow, you're going home."

"You're kicking me out?"

"Yes. Give me the night to think. We'll talk in the morning, make some decisions, and then we'll give each other some time and space."

"But I don't want space. I want to be here with you."

"And I want a boyfriend who doesn't lie about having a double life. It's just the way it is. If that's not something you want to do, then you can leave now and we'll be done."

Vin didn't even have to think about which to choose if those where his options. Stay; discuss relationship. Leave; end relationship. It was a no brainer. "I'll sleep on the couch."

"I'll go get blankets for you."

Kurt tried to sleep. He tossed and turned and thought about Vin and thought about Blaine. He thought about Vin's tears and his pleas. He thought about kissing Blaine and how Vin didn't mention anything about it. He thought about everything. He thought about how he almost broke up with Vin.

What was it that was keeping him with Vin? Was it guilt? Comfort? Right now he wasn't sure. He felt sorry for Vin and his past, but felt that it was no excuse for not telling him. He didn't know if he was being a hypocrite for being so angry over a lie when he lied to Vin about Blaine. He was still so angry, but he was tired and exhausted from the whole day. If only he could sleep.

By morning Kurt had barely slept at all and found that Vin had done the same. They both sat at the kitchen table with a muffin and a cup of coffee. Like the tea from the night before, both items were barely touched, if at all. They decided that things needed to change and they needed time to think things through and left it at that. They weren't broken up. There were tears and more pleading from Vin. When it came down to it, Kurt couldn't break Vin's heart. He couldn't do it. He couldn't tell someone that he cared for that their pleas of 'I need you and I love you' weren't enough. But what was enough? He hoped time would tell.