Blaine

Blaine went to work on Wednesday for his usual shift and as he passed by the box office he noticed that Kurt wasn't in it. The young college girl, Pepper, was sitting at the desk arranging programs. He didn't know Pepper very well and didn't want it to seem weird if he asked where Kurt was, so he just kept on walking. Kurt hadn't turned up at all that day for work and Blaine wondered if Kurt was sick. He thought about calling him, but remembered that they were taking an unofficial break from each other and put his phone back in his pocket.

During intermission for the show, some of the crew and orchestra members asked Blaine if he wanted to hang out with them after work. They were going to a place called Cabaret. Blaine laughed before he told them that he knew Cabaret well because he used to work there, but thought about it and decided to go. He hadn't done anything recently that didn't involve his roommates or Kurt and thought he was due a night out. His only problem was that Landon, the flirtatious guy that was always eyeing him in the orchestra, was among the people going.

After work, he went home, and changed his clothes to something he hadn't worn in a while. He grabbed a pair of light blue jeans that weren't too tight or too baggy, but really showed off how perky his ass was. Then he put on a tight blank tank top, a white button down shirt that he kept un buttoned, and topped the look off with a while gold chain. He decided that his hair was still presentable and finely coifed from before work. He splashed on some cologne and headed back out. He met everyone outside of Cabaret, where a handful of them were smoking cigarettes. They went in as a group and headed for the bar first. Blaine hopped halfway onto the bar and greeted Santana with a kiss on the cheek because it had been so long since he'd seen her. She offered to give him the first drink free and he gladly accepted.

After a half hour, he had to admit that he was actually having fun. It was nice to go out and have some drinks and laugh with a different crowd for a change. He did feel that he'd been avoiding Landon because he didn't particularly want to deal with his attention, but when a barely twenty-one year old violinist, named Charles, batted eyes at him, Blaine sweetly smiled back, but didn't give the boy much more attention than that.

He spotted the Barbara Streisand girl that he used to see there all the time and remembered her as being Kurt's sister in law. He'd only met her a couple times when Kurt used to come every night with her. It wasn't enough to be able to say that he knew her, but it was enough to say they were acquainted. He glanced around and for a second, thought that maybe he was there with Rachel. Blaine excused himself from his group for a second and went over to Rachel's table.

"Hi," he said cheerily. "Rachel."

Rachel looked up and smiled. "Blaine! Hi! It's been awhile. How are you?"

"Good. Is Kurt with you?"

Rachel looked a little puzzled. She thought Blaine and Kurt were like best friends now. Surely he would know where Kurt was. "Um. No. Kurt's in Vermont with Vin. Didn't he tell you?"

Blaine faked a smile. "Oh. No. We haven't had a whole lot of time to catch up these days," he lied. "Oh well. I'm sure he's having a good time." They conversed for a few seconds more before Blaine rejoined his friends.

He tried to pretend that he wasn't a little jealous and upset because twice last week, he over heard Kurt on the phone with Vin at work and they were arguing about something involving Puck and another thing he didn't try to catch. He didn't get it. Last week fighting, this week visiting and probably meeting Vin's family like Kurt told Vin he would. He downed the rest of his drink, ordered another, and finished that one quickly. The more he tried to forget, the less he was able to and the more he tried not to focus on the fact that he was mad that Kurt was with Vin, the more it became apparent that Blaine was actually mad that Kurt wasn't with him. He drank some more and it was during the announcer's break that he saw Blaine and went up to him with a gleeful smile.

They chatted and the longer they talked, the more Blaine's alcoholic buzz started to kick in. He remembered from his college years that drinking while he was angry was not the best policy because drunk and angry Blaine turned into someone that Blaine never wanted to be again. He wanted to remain sweet, bashful Blaine and playful, non cocky Blaine. Drunk and angry Blaine would eventually turn into drunk and horny Blaine, which meant he would be asshole Blaine. He hated that version of himself.

But he was mad, not at Kurt and not at Vin. He was mad at himself for being so mad. He knew he had no reason to be upset, except for the sole reason that Vin had Kurt and he didn't. He thought he was doing fine. They parted ways as friends, though Blaine hid his pain well, they were civil at work and friendly, and he was good about not staring anymore, though he caught himself from time to time. The truth was that he missed Kurt more than he could say and he just wanted to forget. For one night, he wanted to forget everything. One night where there was no emotional attachment to anything or anyone and no giddy, romantic fantasies that he was now figuring out would not happen. He didn't want to love tonight. He wanted to forget. So he drank.

When Cabaret closed, Blaine insisted on going dancing. A handful of the group decided to go and the others were tired and wanted to go home.

"You work at Jericho, right?" Landon asked.

"Yeah," Blaine answered.

"Good, so you can get us in without a cover charge at the door?"

"Probably. Let's go." They all caught cabs, stuffing as many of them as they could into the least amount of vehicles.

It wasn't a long ride before they were all dancing to the thump thump of the music and drinking more and more. Blaine's vision was starting to spin. His plan to drink himself into oblivion was working. He felt nothing. Well, he felt no emotions. He did however, feel the hands and bodies of those pressing themselves to him as they danced. He often had no idea who he danced with and he didn't particularly care. As a consequence of the dancing and the many men grinding against both sides of his body, he was increasingly growing more aroused. He didn't have plans to go home with anyone or end up in the backroom like so many others. He'd go home eventually and jerk off, then probably pass out.

Blaine was beginning to feel dizzy and left two men who were pretty much dry humping him and kissing each side of his neck. He stumbled over to the bar and walked around behind it. He didn't care that he wasn't working. The bartenders knew him. One of them was Matty. Matty stopped him.

"Dude, what are you doing?"

"On my way to blacking out, I think."

"That's not exactly something to aspire to, man." Matty quickly filled up a cup with water. "Drink this."

Blaine gulped down the whole cup. "Bleck! This doesn't have alcohol in it."

"Would you be able to taste it otherwise by now?" He filled up another cup.

"I don't want it."

"Drink it or I'm locking you in the office until my shift is over and taking you home myself."

Blaine immediately gulped the water down. "I have to pee."

"Use the staff bathroom."

"Why?" Blaine slurred.

"Actually, no. Go use the customer bathroom. Maybe some lucky guy will relieve whatever you have pent up over Kurt and we'll be cleaning you off the wall instead of someone else."

The sound of Kurt's name had a slight sobering effect on Blaine. Whether it was Kurt's name or the water he just drank, he wasn't sure, but the room stopped spinning. He was still very drunk, but his vision was clearer. He felt the anger rising again. Only this time it was drunken anger. Non-sensical anger. He wanted to forget again. He knew Matty would make sure that he didn't drink more unless it was water. He turned and stumbled out back to the staff bathroom and used the restroom. When he came back he saw a bartender that was fairly new and Matty was gone. He said that Matty went to go get ice and Blaine asked for two shots. The bartender gave them to him and Blaine downed them before Matty had time to come back and see.

What Matty had said was still in his head and he couldn't get it out. Relieve whatever you have pent up about Kurt. Kurt. Kurt. Relieve whatever you have pent up. He went back to the dance floor and within seconds he felt hands from behind him roaming his body and a groin grinding against his ass to the beat of the music. Blaine leaned back into the body and tilted his head back onto the shoulder behind him. His body felt so warm with the alcohol coursing through him and he was so horny now. He felt lips brush his skin and then fingers tickling the back of his neck to get a grip.

Then those lips were on his and he stopped caring that he was trying to be good. Good Blaine didn't have Kurt and Good Blaine was pining for a man who wanted someone else. Good Blaine was in pain and lonely. Good Blaine was unnecessarily emotional. Good Blaine was now gone for the rest of the night. He turned his body, facing the person he was kissing and arms wound round his neck and waist, pulling Blaine against him. When they parted Blaine opened his eyes and through his drunken haze, he saw the face of Landon. His first instinct was to be pissed, but then it quickly passed when he felt Landon's hand palm him on the outside of his jeans.

"We should take care of that," Landon chimed with a velvet voice.

"I can't fucking stand you."

Landon chuckled and leaned in to kiss Blaine's neck. He nibbled Blaine's ear lobe before whispering, "Who said anything about standing?" He pulled back and cheshired when Blaine turned his face into Landon's and let his lips drag against Landon's jaw line. "As long as you end up on your back or on your knees, I'll be happy."

"You're lucky I'm drunk enough to black out."

"What was that thing you said to me once? Only in my dreams?" He palmed Blaine again.

"I guess dreams do come true to persistent jack-offs." Blaine cupped his hands onto Landon's ass and rolled his body to the beat of the music. "Mention this to anyone and I'll deny it."

"Trust me. Everyone thinks you're wound so tight for Hummel that I wouldn't believe me if I told myself."

"Can we not do the chit chat? The longer I stand here talking to you, the more my buzz wears off."

"Then let's get some booze into you." They walked up to the bar and Blaine held back so Matty wouldn't see him. Landon ordered two tequila shots and handed one off to Blaine. They tossed them back and Landon kissed Blaine with a lemon in his mouth. Blaine pulled the lemon out of his own mouth and kissed Landon again. "Back room?" Landon asked.

"No. Roof. Come on." Blaine grabbed Landon's hand and towed him around back as he looked around for the guys who were working that night. He didn't want to be seen. He wouldn't have gotten in trouble or anything, but he didn't want evidence that this was happening.

They rushed up the stairs toward the offices and passed Blaine's boss, who was currently being blown by one of the go-go dancers. They slipped right passed them without being noticed. The key to the roof was hanging on a nail next to door marked "roof access" and Blaine snatched it and quickly unlocked the door, putting it back on the nail before glancing around behind him again to make sure no one was behind them.

There was another staircase to go up and Blaine propped the door at the top of the stairs, knowing that it would lock behind them. The last thing he wanted was to be locked up on the roof with Landon when he sobered up. He was hoping that he'd drank enough to forget this was even happening. He knew he was angry and jealous and lonely and, yes, sad even. These were the only justifications he could give himself for mindlessly going up to the roof of Jericho with Landon and fucking him senseless. He wanted to feel close to someone for a few moments and Landon was offering. Why not, right? Landon didn't seem like the monogamous type, so what was the harm?

Blaine kept walking until he reached the bordered ledge and looked over the lip of the brick wall that came up to his mid abdomen. Landon did the same. "You afraid of heights?" Blaine asked.

Landon took out a small vial from his pocket and tapped out a small amount of powder onto the skin between his thumb and index finger. He sniffed it into his nostrils and blocked his nose for a second. He smiled. "Are you kidding? I love being up high." He wore a sarcastic expression and brought Blaine to his mouth.

Landon's mouth was hot and tasted like alcohol. He kissed Blaine hard and heated. Blaine noted in his mind that Landon was a messy kisser and didn't know if it was because he was drunk or if he just really was a sloppy kisser. He pushed the thought from his mind and ignored the insane amount of alcohol-swollen tongue that was lapping at his own. Their hands were all over each other; grabbing and petting, fisting and scratching.

Blaine heard the clinking sound of Landon's belt and Landon pushed Blaine down to his knees.

Blaine caught a glimpse of Landon's cock and quickly decided that it wasn't anything impressive. Average sized, yet perfectly formed, to say something positive. Honestly, he was just happy to be detached from Landon's mouth. He looked up at Landon from his knees. "I don't blow drug-ees without protection." It wasn't the nicest way to say it, but, fuck, Landon sniffed whatever the powder was up his nose without asking Blaine if he cared. Their inebriated agreement had nothing to do with being nice.

Landon didn't care that Blaine called him a drug-ee. In fact, the harshness of Blaine's drunken attitude was a bit of a turn on. He liked cocky, demanding Blaine better than bashful, boring Blaine. He pulled out a flavored condom from his back pocket. He had taken a couple from the fishbowl at the bar when he ordered a drink earlier. He had hoped it was Blaine he'd be using them with, but honestly, he was so horny that he would have fucked almost anyone there. "Lucky you." he peeled the top off the wrapper with his teeth and handed the rest of the wrapper to Blaine. He made his eyebrows jump flirtatiously. "I came prepared."

Blaine plucked the rubber from the foil and put it in his mouth. Gross, he thought, watermelon. He had to pick that one?

Landon watched carefully, his eyes becoming more and more lust blown, as Blaine rolled the condom on with his mouth. He sucked and sucked, rubbing various places on Landon's body as he did so, until he began to feel Landon's stomach tighten. "Don't come yet," Blaine ordered when he took he mouth away.

"Wasn't planning on it," Landon responded with a smile and a wink.

"Got another?" he asked in reference to a condom.

Landon chuckled and pulled another condom from his back pocket. It was the only other one he had. "Am I returning the favor?"

"I'm sure you'd like that, but no."

Landon put two and two together rather quickly for a drunk person. "I don't bottom. I only top."

Blaine chuckled and plucked the condom from Landon's fingers. "Not anymore." He grabbed Landon and spun him around, facing the walled ledge. He bent him over and started kissing and rubbing his back and ass, grinding his clothed cock into Landon's ass now and then.

Landon moaned, still enjoying himself thoroughly and not even caring that he was going to be fucked and it would probably hurt a little. He would rather have been the one to pound himself into Blaine, but he wasn't about to complain. Fucking Blaine was bragging rights as far as he was concerned and he wanted Blaine naked since the second he saw him. "Fuck. Uhng."

"What was that?" Blaine asked playfully as he took his hardened cock out of his pants and rolled the condom on.

"Shit. Fuck. I have a thing of lube in my front pocket. Fuck me. Just fucking fuck me." He moaned again.

"So impatient."

"Fuck you. I want you in my ass now. Uhng. Fuck."

"So much for only being a top." Blaine reached forward and slipped his hand into Landon's right, front pocket and nibbled Landon's ear when he leaned forward. He took out a small packet of lube that Blaine knew to have come from one of the fishbowls downstairs in the bar. He coated himself with a sheen of the slick liquid and wasted no time pulling Landon's pants down.

"Fuck me. Now. Uhng. Fuck me."

Blaine didn't want to be bothered with much more foreplay and really just wanted to get in and get out. Landon clearly didn't care about tenderness and the courtesy of prepping with Blaine's fingers, so Blaine eased himself in slowly without warning. "Holy shit, you're tight!"

"Uhng. Shit shit shit. Fuck you're huge."

Blaine slowly pulled back and thrust back in to the hilt. "Lucky you," he said, repeating Landon's phrase from earlier.

It wasn't long before the sound of slapping skin was heard and Landon was practically screaming in pleasure. If it weren't for the thump thump sound from the Jericho music, people on the street would have surely heard him. Blaine found that Landon liked being pounded hard and definitely was not a soft lover. He wasn't short on swear words and compliments about how big Blaine's dick was and how amazing it felt inside him. He'd scream "harder" and Blaine obliged by thrusting faster and slamming his dick into Landon's ass harder or squeezing whatever skin he was holding tighter.

By the time Blaine came into the condom, Landon had already exploded into the condom that Blaine had put on him in the beginning and had scrape marks on his legs from the brick he was pushed up against. They were both sticky, sated, and sweaty. Blaine pulled out and took the condom off. He tied off the end and dropped it on the ground. It was littering, but he didn't have anywhere else to put it and didn't want to walk back into the bar with it in his hand. Landon did the same and tucked himself back into his pants.

"That's what I've been missing?" Landon asked while out of breath. "Shit. What took you so long?"

"Look, I'm not into pillow talk so can we take this back downstairs?"

"Fuck, Blaine," Landon said with a smile. "I don't know what happened to you, but whatever it is, I could do this all day." He was talking like he wasn't even listening to Blaine.

"I need a drink. Or five." Blaine started to turn and Landon caught him by the waist and pulled him back, kissing him deeply.

"I knew that goody-two-shoes act with Hummel was all an act."

"Can we not talk about Kurt? I just fucked you and I'd like to not mix the two worlds. Actually, can we not talk about this either… like ever? It's not my shining moment."

"Go ahead. Keep talking. I have a thing for guys who talk like pricks. If this is how you talk all the time, sign me up cause I would love to do that again. The asshole vibe is well worth the trouble if it means I get a repeat of this."

"Don't hold your breath." Blaine turned back and left the roof with Landon following him to return to the bar. He was sure he smelled of sex or something, but no one said anything and he continued to drink far into the night and dance until he blacked out.

He woke up the next morning in his own bed, not remembering how he got there, but happy that he was alone, because out of everything he did remember, he remembered having sex with Landon, the world's biggest creep at work, and remembered bringing out the worst part of himself: the person he used to be before he knew what love was.

Blaine tried to move, but every part of his head and body ached. He groaned in pain. That's when Nick came in his room with a glass of water, a plate of crackers, and aspirin. "You have no idea how much I love you right now," Blaine groaned out, happy to see the bottle of aspirin.

"So, you wanna tell me why Matty called me at 2 AM to help drag your ass home?"

"Not so loud."

"Oh, I carried you in like a back-pack last night and stuck my fingers down your throat so you'd puke in the toilet and not while you slept. I'll talk however I want because you fucking deserve it. You better be praying that you never lose me as a friend because I'm a fucking good one."

"I know man. Thanks. I'm sorry. Really."

"So what the fuck happened? Didn't we just have this discussion not long ago about why you don't get drunk that much anymore?"

"I was trying to forget about Kurt."

"Oh here we go." Nick dropped himself down onto Blaine's bed and rolled his eyes.

Blaine crinkled his eyes shut. "If I wasn't afraid you'd drop me as a friend, I'd say 'Fuck you.'"

"Good thing you're afraid."

"Yeah. I was just so sick of feeling the way I do. Kurt is perfect for me and, yeah, he comes with baggage, but who doesn't? I can't explain what I feel when I think about him. I'm drawn to him and I can't shake him off no matter how hard I try. I just wanted to forget for one night. I wanted to forget what being alone and unwanted feels like."

"Did it work?"

"Yeah. For about two seconds. Then I wake up and now I have a whole new set of problems."

"Like what?"

"Like having to make it up to one of my best friends for taking care of my drunk ass. Like realizing that I'm a fucking idiot for having sex with someone I can't stand last night."

"Wait, what?"

"I don't want to talk about it. I'm not happy or proud, but Matty would be; so whatever."

"Dude, you're driving yourself crazy. It's not healthy and it's not somewhere you want to be. You don't wanna be that guy anymore."

"I know."

"You're Blaine Fucking Anderson, okay? With or without Kurt, you're a good guy with good morals and good intentions. You're not the guy you acted like last night. If you need to be emotional, be emotional. Do whatever it is you have to do to get over this and be you again."

"I don't know how to get over this, over him. And the truth is that I don't know if I want to. I'm still holding onto the hope that Kurt will just rush straight back to me and say 'I'm so sorry. I made a mistake. You're the one I've wanted all along.' I know it's stupid and fairytale-ish, but some part of me still wants that."

"Do you? Do you really want to be the second choice?"

"I don't see it that way. He's scared. He's just as scared of this as I am and he's pressured about Vin and feels guilty about cheating on him and having feelings for another guy at the same time. Vin isn't exactly a choice in my mind. Being with Vin is settling and that's sad. Being with me is a choice because he'd have so much to lose if we didn't work out."

"Why would he lose more with you than with Vin?"

"Because we're more. I know he feels it too."

"How come you never told Kurt this?"

"Because he's a choice too. I've already chosen him. These over-dramatic emotions and actions are just consequences of feeling what it's like to lose everything I've ever wanted and needed."

Nick sighed through his nose, not knowing how else to help his friend. He handed Blaine two aspirin and the glass of water then made him eat four crackers. "Go back to bed. I'll wake you up when it's time to get ready for work."

"I owe you."

"I know."

"Thank you."

"You can thank me when I come to you with relationship trouble and you have to listen."

Blaine laughed, then quickly grabbed his head. "Laughing hurts."