B- I'm really sorry, but I'm going to be late.

S- Aww : ( why?

B- I know we were supposed to have a lazy day together, but I need to get something done before I come over. I'm sorry for not texting you sooner. I know I'm supposed to be there right now. I'll definitely be there later.

S- Okay. No problem. Do you know when?

B- Um. Couple hours? I'll let you know if it's going to be later. I'm so sorry. If you have other things to do, don't worry about me. I don't want you to spend your day waiting around for me.

S- It's okay. Don't feel bad. It's fine. Things come up sometimes. : ) I think Nick is having a Halo party in his room. I'll go do that for a while.

B- Okay. See you in a little while.

S- 3

Blaine almost felt bad for delaying his date with Sebastian, but he had a good reason. After spending so much time with the Warblers and the kids from Glee Club, he had an idea.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Blaine was at the door of David, one floor up from Sebastian.

David opened the door. "Blaine, hey!" He opened the door wider and let Blaine into his room. "I didn't know you were going to be here today."

"Yeah. I'm supposed to be hanging out with Sebastian today. Kind of a lazy day where we do nothing, but watch movies and listen to music."

David's eyes did this weird thing where they flicked to the side and then stayed remote on Blaine without blinking. Blaine could tell he was thinking something and not saying it. "Is Sebastian not in his room?"

"He is, but I wanted to see you first." Blaine took a deep breath. "I need your help. Well, I was hoping for your help, I don't need it-"

"Blaine! You're mumbling and rambling; that's a combination that just don't go well."

"Sorry. Okay. Um. I've been spending a lot of time with the Warblers and the New Directions and you all keep telling me that I was and am a good singer. I've really been learning about how much power one song has on people when you're trying to get your feelings across. I want to surprise someone with a song and I was hoping you'd help me with learning it." Blaine's face looked like a puppy, but he didn't know it because he couldn't see himself.

David swallowed audibly and thought carefully about his next words. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Is this surprise song for Sebastian?"

Blaine didn't answer. He just stared straight ahead. He and Sebastian hadn't told the Warbles about their relationship yet because they were just starting out. He wondered where David got the idea in the first place.

Blaine's silence gave David his answer that Blaine wasn't going to answer. "Okay, never mind. Just- Both you and Sebastian are my boys and I love you both, but have you considered, maybe, ALL of your feelings?"

Is there some big conversation going on around me that I don't know about? Blaine wondered. He knew David was talking about Kurt, but had no idea how he knew so much about everything. He folded his lips inward and bit down, still not wanting to answer anything.

"Alright, I get it. It's none of my business. Let's go down to the Warbler room and we'll work on that song of yours."

Blaine and David worked on a song that Blaine picked out for two hours, finding that Blaine was still a natural at music as he was before the accident. Then he joined Sebastian for the rest of the day as promised.

They were sitting on Sebastian's bed, watching a movie and Sebastian's hand on Blaine's knee.

"Do you think that we should tell the other guys that we're together?" Sebastian asked.

"I think they already know," Blaine answered.

"They do?"

"Yeah, I was talking to David and he seemed to know already."

"When were you talking to David?"

"Before I came here."

"Oh. Well, it would makes sense that they know anyway. It's not like we were hiding that we flirted with each other."

"And we spend a lot of time together."

"Right."

"Is everything okay?" Blaine asked. Sebastian seemed a little on edge. He was hoping it wasn't because he delayed their date. The tone in his voice made him sound like he was anxious or worried.

"I guess I'm just tired."

"Oh! I'm sorry! Do you want to take a nap? I can go hang out with Nick until you wake up or until my mom picks me up."

Sebastian licked his lips and looked Blaine nervously in the eyes. "Or…" He slid his hand gently down Blaine's leg and back up to his knee. "…you can take a nap with me."

Blaine was suddenly able to feel his heart beating fast and hard. "L-like sleep? Together? In this bed?"

Sebastian leaned over and gently put his lips to Blaine's. "Or…" He gave Blaine another soft kiss. "We can-" He parted his lips and Blaine and Sebastian kissed each other warmly. "-find something else to do…" Sebastian didn't give Blaine much of a chance to respond before he was adjusting his body position and kissing Blaine hard on the mouth.

Blaine's heart was racing. Sebastian's body was warm and soft and he was a really good kisser. He liked kissing Sebastian, but he was nervous and he could feel his heart beating out of his chest. He felt Sebastian's tongue graze his and he quickly pushed Sebastian off of him and Blaine rolled off the bed. "I-I c-can't. I'm so sorry." Blaine started straightening his clothes. He looked apologetic and genuinely sorry for Sebastian.

"What's wrong?" Sebastian asked, slightly out of breath and scrambling to sit up on his bed.

"I- I can't. I can't do this. I'm sorry, Sebastian. I'm not," he paused and licked his lips, "comfortable."

"Oh. I see. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry. I don't want to pressure you. Maybe we can just lye here and watch the rest of the movie instead."

"Sebastian, I'm so sorry. It's not you. I have to go." Blaine turned toward the door.

"Blaine, wait."

"I-I'll call you tomorrow." He gave Sebastian a quick kiss and tore out of the room, not completely knowing where to go.

Blaine said he'd call Sebastian the next day. Sunday came and he didn't call. Blaine tried to use the excuse that since his brother and sister were home to visit him, he was giving all of his attention to them. He knew that was just an excuse because he didn't spend all of his time with them.

Claire asked about Kurt, as did Jared, Claire wanted to go shopping, but Beth quickly shook her head 'no' to get her to stop talking. Jared wanted the family to all go out to do something together and Blaine found himself happy, truly happy, for the first time in a long time. Sure, he was normally happy around Sebastian, but there was always the looming thought of Kurt and how he missed him in the back of his head. Spending time with his family as a whole unit and not once hearing them mention anything about Blaine not remembering something was comforting and he found that his brother was actually really funny. They'd all decided on an early dinner, then painting pottery at a place called "Color Me Mine." After that they all went out for sundaes.

He really couldn't have had a better day, he thought. He laughed so hard that his sides hurt and tears came out of his eyes. He was content in the silent moments and didn't feel that he needed to fill in the gaps. Everything seemed just so blissfully comfortable. He liked comfortable. He was tired of new.

But when he came home he looked at his phone that he conveniently left at home for the day, and saw two missed calls from Sebastian. He had also sent a text message.

S- Are we okay?

Blaine thought on that. He felt bad that he ran out on Sebastian they way he had. Although, he didn't know what got into Sebastian like that. They'd kissed before, but they'd never been as intense as they were. It scared Blaine. Frankly, it only made him think of Kurt.

He thought of one of the pictures that someone else had snapped of Kurt and Blaine kissing passionately as if no one was watching. Then he thought of the different possibilities he could have gotten into with Sebastian in his bed and that led to a thought of the picture of Kurt, half naked in his bed under a white sheet. He couldn't get Kurt out of his head. It made him feel even more guilty because he should be thinking about Sebastian. He liked Sebastian. Sebastian was his boyfriend.

He thought about what to say to Sebastian because he felt he owed it to him to give him an explanation. I have to say something. But I don't need to say anything right now.

B- Of course we're okay. I'll see you after school Tuesday, right?

Sebastian sent a reply almost instantly. S- Absolutely. I'll pick you up at three. I'm really sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have pressured you.

B- I told you. It's not you. I was nervous and not comfortable, but you didn't know that. We're fine now. I'm sorry for running away.

S- How about we stop apologizing for forget it happened?

B- Deal. See you Tuesday. : )

S- Call me tomorrow?

B- K. Have a good night.

S- You too. Sweet dreams.

He hated lying to Sebastian. They weren't okay. Far from it, but it wasn't Sebastian's fault. It really wasn't. It was Blaine's fault. If only he would have shown up on time for their date on Saturday and not ten minutes early.

If he was on time he wouldn't have heard Kurt's voice in Sebastian's room. If he was on time, he might not have been as nervous kissing Sebastian the way he was. Ten minutes. Just ten. If only he showed up ten minutes later than he had, he wouldn't have heard Kurt say that he loved him. Maybe things would be different than they are now. Maybe Blaine wouldn't be thinking about Kurt. Maybe he wouldn't be questioning his decision to stay away from Kurt.

Saturday

Blaine was just approaching Sebastian's dorm room when he heard someone yelling from inside. It wasn't Sebastian's voice, but Blaine was quickly able to tell it was Kurt's. He tucked himself close to the door and pressed his ear to the wood.

"You don't know him!" Kurt yelled.

"That's ridiculous. You haven't spoken in weeks and he and I talk constantly. I'm starting to think I know him more than you do," Sebastian answered in rebuttal.

"Really? You really think that? Okay," Kurt said with an attitude. Blaine thought that Kurt sounded confident. Like he was positive that no one could know Blaine better than himself.

"I'm not going to argue the point because it's not going to change the fact that Blaine is still my boyfriend."

"You don't know anything."

"I know that he likes me."

"I bet you don't know that his mouth waters when he smells coffee, or that he thinks his teeth doesn't feel clean if he uses any flavor of toothpaste other than mint. I'd be willing to pay money on the fact that you have no clue that the smell of a skunk doesn't bother Blaine in the slightest. Further than that, the combination of peppermint, almond, and green tea turns him on almost instantly, or that his toes curl and then go numb when he orgasms."

Blaine gasped and then quickly covered his mouth. His brain went back to his bedroom, the nightstand, and the drawer. Inside it were condoms. He once wondered who he had sex with. Now he knew.

"Did you know that he used to gel his hair to make it look straight because he used to get made fun of for how curly it was? Yeah. He got made fun of for a lot of things. He got made fun of enough that someone decided it was a good idea to kick the shit out of him for showing up to a Sadie Hawkins dance with another guy. Oh yeah, and he ended up in the hospital then transferred here. You're his boyfriend, so I'm sure you knew that."

Blaine zoned out for a minute or two. Kurt said more about Blaine's past in a one minute span than he had said to Blaine ever. It was a lot to take. He'd seen pictures of himself and always always he had his hair gelled. Now he knew why. He also remembered Kurt mentioning on a few occasions how much he liked it when Blaine didn't gel his hair. It somehow made Blaine feel warm inside that Kurt liked something that people made fun of him for. Sebastian spoke and Blaine was brought back to reality.

"If he wanted you in his life, wouldn't he being talking to you and not ignoring you?" That one hurt because Sebastian had it all wrong and the last thing he wanted Kurt to think was that Blaine didn't want Kurt in his life. It wasn't true. He desperately wanted Kurt in his life, but was trying to push him away because he didn't want to hurt him anymore.

"The fact that you think that's why we're not talking tells me that you have no idea what you're dealing with." Good, Blaine thought. So, he knows I don't hate him.

"We have a lot in common."

"You couldn't possibly know that because Blaine doesn't know that. He's been out of his house for almost a month. He couldn't possibly have experienced enough to know more than the basic things that he likes. Besides, if you knew anything about Blaine, you'd know that his interests change as quickly as fashion trends change."

"What do you care? You have a boyfriend. If you really cared so much then you would have waited for him instead of moving onto the next guy."

"What are you talking about? I don't have a boyfriend! I've been waiting until Blaine was comfortable to start wooing him again."

"That's not what Blaine thinks. He said you're with a tall blonde."

He started laughing. "Oh my God. I can't believe this is happening again. Zach is not my boyfriend. Zach is an affectionate, straight, friend of mine, who treats me like I'm his brother."

Blaine got lost in his thoughts. Kurt doesn't have a boyfriend? I was sure of it. I can't believe I had it wrong. I was jealous and got mad at him for nothing. Damn damn.

Blaine started paying attention again when he heard Kurt stop laughing. "He'll never love you." Blaine had an intake of breath. He didn't know if Kurt was right, but some part of him felt it was truth.

"Why? Because he can never love anyone other than you?"

Through this whole conversation, Blaine was in a state of shock, but nothing prepared him for what he heard next. "Because we're soul mates. He spent a lot of time telling me that. There's a pull between the two of us that nothing and no one can touch. I don't think a loss of memory would erase that. You can like him all you want, but I love him. I love him with every fiber of my being." Blaine almost fell over. He heard footsteps and he started to back away. The door started to crack open and he ran away. He ran upstairs because it was the only place he thought to go. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. It was like a mantra playing in his head on loop. Then when it slowed, it was replaced by He loves me. Fuck, what am I going to do?

Present day

He had spent an awful amount of time debating whether or not to delve through the pages of his journal. He sat on his bed and stared at the closed drawer. It was calling to him, as it always does. Blaine finally gave in and snatched the book from the night stand. He knew Kurt appeared in the journal about a quarter of the way in so he started there.

Page after page was of Kurt and Blaine getting coffee or seeing a movie or a play. Once in a while it would mention one of his friends going along with them, but mostly it was the two of them alone. It was endless descriptions of his clothes and funny things Kurt said. The more pages he flipped the more clear is became that the Blaine who wrote this was falling in love with Kurt, whether he knew it or not.

-I feel happy around Kurt. He makes me feel more comfortable than anyone I've ever met.

- He's a lot stronger than me, but he'd never admit it. Kurt is so brave with the way he lives his life.

-Kurt is the most compassionate person I have ever met. He's sensitive and strong, while still being bold and quiet. I never knew someone could be like that.

-Sometimes I wonder if Kurt's lonely. The way he looked at me and handled me after Jeremiah rejected me made me think that he wishes he felt about someone the way I felt about Jeremiah.

- I was completely clueless. I'm an idiot. Here I was fawning over Jeremiah, asking Kurt to help me, when all along, Kurt had feelings for me. He's so special to me. He's so strong, but I feel like when it comes to me, I could shatter his fragile heart with one look. I don't know if I want that power. I never want to break him. I couldn't bare to lose him if he started to hate me or lose interest.

- I feel like I'm seeing him for the first time. Kurt was singing today. Pavarotti died and Kurt was really upset about it. Something about the song and his performance moved me and I feel like I finally saw Kurt Hummel. He's beautiful and I wouldn't be who I was without him. There's a line "take these broken wings and learn to fly" that's what he's done for me. I was broken and pretending to be okay before I met him and then he helped me be happy and I was able to soar with him by my side. I thought Jeremiah or some other guys at school could fill the void in my soul, but it was Kurt all along. He was always right here and I just had this moment that was "Oh there you are. I've been looking for you forever." And I have. I've been looking everywhere for Kurt. I saw him crying and I just wanted to reach out and touch him. I wanted to wipe the tears away. I wanted to hold his hand. I wanted to hold HIM.

- A kiss. It began with a kiss. I can't stop smiling. I told Kurt how I felt and then I kissed him. I couldn't believe it when he kissed me back. I almost laughed when I heard how hard he dropped his hand to the table. I knew he felt the same thing I did. It was… kismet, destiny, meant to be. I know it sounds silly, but I'll never be the same because now I have Kurt by my side, holding my hand.

Pages and pages of days Blaine couldn't remember, but wished he did went by and soon he was able to see things that he didn't understand before more clearly. Blaine had written in detail, the first time he told Kurt he loved him and how he knew that's what it was; love.

Even more specifically, he wrote about the night he snuck out and Kurt pulled him out back behind a garden. Out of site and behind the shed. They kissed and touched; saw each other for the first time. Blaine wrote in great detail about what it was like to have Kurt make him orgasm twice. How it felt to see Kurt presented before him, "like the gift he is" and what it was like to be touched like that. "It was pure, raw, love and passion… and it was fun." Blaine laughed at the last part. -It was fun.

He started to skip over entries because he knew there was a lot to get through. There were countless entries of Blaine gushing over how wonderful it felt to make love to Kurt. Blaine couldn't help, but pay particular attention to those ones. He'd skip over ones that sounded like he was explaining a fight because he didn't want to find out that it might have been his own fault. Then he just skipped a head all together to the part where they were apart because he wanted to know why Kurt agreed to get back with someone who treated him so poorly when they broke up.

Surprisingly, Blaine had written little about it. One day he was brooding and broken hearted, then the next, he was gushing over how happy he was that Kurt took him back. What shocked Blaine the most was his tiny mention of all the collective things that kept them apart.

-We've been through so much in the past six months. But we've been through me cheating and him second guessing what he wants, but it still comes down to the distance between Dalton and McKinley. No matter what we do, or what happens, or how we feel, all we do is miss each other. We could be in the same room and I'll still miss the feel of his skin. When we're apart I miss the smell of his cologne and the lotions he puts on his face. I'm tired of feeling like this. I'm tired of feeling like I can never get close enough to him. I've never wanted anyone or anything like I want him. It's like an obsession. No. Like he's a part of me that I didn't know existed. When he's gone, I'm not whole. I'm just a shell without him. I could never want anyone more than the way I want Kurt.

"I cheated on him," was Blaine's singular response. He wondered if he didn't skip over the previous entries, he'd find out the lead up and why, but after a lot of thought, he decided that he didn't want to know why. Some things are better left forgotten, Blaine reminded himself. That was what Kurt told him the day he met James. He continued to read.

Page after page. Month after month. Kurt and Blaine were blissfully happy. Blaine couldn't stop his smiling and laughter at some places. He wrote about their summer and visiting Kurt on his nights and days off from working at a theme park called Six Flags; he wrote about sneaking out late at night and being dragged by Kurt, time and time again behind a shed; he wrote about naps in the sun, driving with no where in mind, just so they could listen to the same song on repeat and sing at the top of their lungs, and culminating that summer by moving to Lima. Blaine wrote about telling Kurt about his new house his family was moving into, which was only a couple blocks from Kurt's home and how he planned a picnic inside his new room as a surprise. He paid a lot of attention writing about surprises that he planned for Kurt. Always Kurt. Kurt was Blaine's world. He had other friends, but Kurt was always more important to write about.

Then, very abruptly, the entries stopped and the pages were blank. "The accident," he said aloud. He rubbed his head where he knew a scar remained underneath his hair. He thought of the information he had been given about that night and slowly the pieces of the puzzle came to him. He didn't remember, but he knew enough to figure out the truth. "Kurt and I were on a date with Mike and Tina that night. We were together. Kurt was given special privileges by my parents because he was my boyfriend. He never stopped loving me. He must have been in agony." Blaine palmed his face and ran his hands down his cheeks. "What have I put him through? He stayed this whole time, while I yelled at him and, oh god, I starting dating Sebastian after I told Kurt I had no interest in him. How did I not notice this sooner? I'm so stupid." He palmed his face again. "I have to do something. I have to make it right. He has to know."

Monday

"This past weekend was filled with a lot for me. Not all bad, but it was just a lot. I learned a lot about myself and I wanted to share that with all of you. Mainly Kurt." Blaine dared himself to look right at Kurt. You can do this, he told himself.

Kurt lifted his head and his stunned, wide eyes finally looked at Blaine dead on in the face for the first time in weeks.

Blaine continued as everyone else in the room looked back and forth from Kurt to Blaine, trying to make sense of what was happening. "I was going to sing Vindicated by Dashboard Confessionals, but…" He paused. What am I doing? he thought. He hadn't planned a speech and hadn't even thought of what to say when he came to this point. In a quick moment, he decided to address Kurt directly. "I read the journal, Kurt. I stayed up reading it until I passed out. I know now why I have to force myself to stay away from you. I know now why being around you is like breathing. You fought so hard for so long for us to be together; so we could be happy. And I can never say I'm sorry enough to make up for the way I treated you recently. I had it all wrong." I'm so stupid. He probably had no idea what I'm talking about. Blaine realized that he on the spot ramble was all over the place. He hoped if he started to sing the song, maybe Kurt would understand.

They stayed staring at each other for a couple seconds, Kurt still in a stunned silence. Blaine turned to one of the guitar players and signaled for him to start.

Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angryCall I'm desperate for your voiceI'm listening to the song we used to singIn the car, do you remember, butterfly, early summer?It's playing on repeat, just like when we would meetLike when we would meetI was born to tell you I love youAnd I am torn to do what I have toTo make you mine, stay with me tonightStripped and polished, I am new, I am freshI am feeling so ambitiousYou and me, flesh to flesh'Cause every breath that you will takeWhen you are sitting next to meWill bring life into my deepest hopes, what's your fantasy?What's your, what's yourI was born to tell you I love youAnd I am torn to do what I have toTo make you mine, stay with me tonightAnd I'm tired of being all aloneAnd this solitary moment makes me want to come back homeAnd I'm tired of being all aloneAnd this solitary moment makes me want to come back homeAnd I'm tired of being all aloneAnd this solitary moment makes me want to come back homeAnd I'm tired of being all aloneAnd this solitary moment makes me want to come back homeI was born to tell you I love youAnd I am torn to do what I have toI was born to tell you I love youAnd I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mineStay with me tonight

The music stopped and the song was finished. Blaine stood front and center of the room, the rest of his peers looking back at him in silence, and Blaine only seeing Kurt. He didn't know what he was expecting, singing a song to Kurt like this. A joyous moment maybe; an over dramatic moment maybe; but certainly he expected something. Not the nothing that actually came. Kurt looked back at him with tearless eyes that rimmed red. He's feeling something; that's for sure, but what? Blaine wondered. He watched as Kurt slowly looked away by dropping his head down and looking at his lap. He knew this was a long shot. I've hurt him so much. I should have just stayed away. He sat down in his seat and watched the rest of the class unfold the way it would have had be not done a thing.

When Glee rehearsal ended, he stayed seated, watching people mull around or leave, but waiting to see what Kurt did. During the coarse of the hour, he barely paid attention. He was waging a war in his head between his head and heart.

Head: Kurt hated it. You told him you loved him and he hated it.

Heart: He didn't hate it, he was taken by surprise and didn't know what to do.

Head: You have to keep trying. He needs to at least be aware of what you know.

Head: You hurt him. A lot. Then dated some other guy after you said you weren't interested

Heart: Kurt still loves you. He said so yesterday.

Head: He would have done anything other than sit there in silence. Forget it and move on.

Heart: No! Don't forget it! What was the purpose of this? Haven't you forgotten enough? Don't forget him. Don't even try. Fight until he says no. Fight until you know what he wants.

Blaine realized that his heart was right and his head was nothing more than doubt. He watched as everyone filed out of the room except a few of the musicians, and Kurt. Kurt hadn't moved from his seat and Blaine hadn't either. They sat I different rows with Kurt in the back.

There was silence at first and Blaine could hear his own breathing. "I don't know what to say," he offered, breaking the silence.

"The song was lovely," Kurt managed to say.

Blaine turned around and looked at Kurt for the first time since the song ended. "I'm sorry if it bothered you."

"It didn't."

"I can see how much I've hurt you." He swallowed hard. "I'm sorry. I don't know what to do." Blaine felt the lump rising in his throat and he looked down at his knees. He didn't look up, even when Kurt moved down to sit in the seat next to him and turned to face Blaine.

Kurt put his hand on Blaine's knee, daring to touch him. "I forgive you. You only did what you did because I kept you so far in the dark. I just…" Kurt swallowed and crossed his legs on the chair, folding them like a pretzel. Blaine finally looked up when Kurt's hand moved away. The gentle touch was comforting. Kurt started again. "I wanted you to know that I accepted you based on who you were at that moment and not because of who you used to be."

"I did know that. But why so many secrets? I look back now and see how much pain you were in, holding it all in. I would have listened. Even if I felt differently about certain things now, I still would have listened."

"I didn't want you to feel obligated to be in a relationship that you might not have understood. I thought that if I was presented as your best friend, then it might be easier for you to accept me in your life. Except it backfired."

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean?"

"I still fell in love with you. I was reading the journal and I saw how things can be the same as they used to be, even if I can't remember them. You're all I think about. You going to Sebastian on Saturday was the best thing that could have possibly happened."

"I knew you were outside the door!"

"You did?"

"Yeah. I walked out and smelled your cologne wafting like you just ran away. At first I was horrified, but then I thought it was a good thing because at least now you knew how I felt."

"I think I always knew, but was too oblivious and scared to admit it. Maybe because I knew that I loved you back. Really, Kurt. I'm so glad I made that journal before… you know. I might have been oblivious forever."

Kurt licked his lips and his expression changed. "About that. The journal. You didn't read it until last night?"

"No. I wanted to find things out for myself and not read them. But hearing you tell me that you loved me made me read it because I needed to know why- why do you look sad?" Blaine saw Kurt's face change and didn't understand.

"You only came to the conclusion that you loved me after you heard that I loved you and then read about how you used to love me…" He bit down on his lip. "As much as I want to believe you, I have that feeling that you fell in love with a book or the flowery romance couple inside the book."

"No! That's not it! I told you that I think I always knew. You have to believe me."

"I want to. So badly I want to." Kurt stood up and grabbed his messenger bag.

"Where are you going?"

"Home."

Blaine stared in shock. This was REALLY not what he expected. Kurt was heading for the exit. "What does it matter?" he shouted as he stood up. "What it does it matter when I figured out that I loved you? I figured it out, didn't I?"

"Did you?"

"Yes! I love you!" Blaine rushed up to Kurt. He wanted to kiss him so desperately.

Kurt turned his face away, knowing how close they were: kissing distance. "Does Sebastian know?" Blaine backing away a little, gave Kurt his answer. "It would make you a cheater. Sebastian's a nice guy. He doesn't deserve to be cheated on."

"I'll tell him. I promise. It's you I want. It always has been."

Kurt bit his lip. "Please don't make this harder for me."

"What's so hard about it? I love you! I know you love me too, you said it yesterday. We belong together."

"But you chose him. You pushed me away when I tried to explain and you chose him. You wanted him more than me. I'm not stupid. I'm having a hard time believing that when you say you love me, it may not be real. You figured this out after you read how in love we once were. How do I know that in a week, you're not going to figure out that all you still are going to want to do is yell at me and wish that you stayed with Sebastian."

"How do you know that in a month or a year, I'm not going to have done any of those things and still be madly in love with you?"

"I don't." There was silence again and Kurt turned to walk out again.

"You had so much fight in you when you spoke to Sebastian. Now what you wanted is staring you in the face and you're walking away? You're walking away from the person you called your soul mate?"

Blaine kept shouting things, but Kurt kept walking. He bit his lip and felt the sting of his tears running down his face and didn't turn around.

"If I said nothing about the journal, would you have believed me?"

Kurt was gone. Blaine stopped yelling. He was in an empty room. Where did I go wrong? he thought.

Head: Forget it. Sebastian is a nice guy and cares about you. Go back to him and grovel.

Heart: It's not over. You have to make Kurt believe you.

Head: He listened to you once, didn't he? See where following your heart gets you? Be logical. Kurt said no. It's time to move on.