June 1, 2012, 8:59 p.m.
Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder: Chapter 72
E - Words: 1,551 - Last Updated: Jun 01, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 86/86 - Created: Jun 01, 2012 - Updated: Jun 01, 2012 256 0 0 0 0
Kurt gasped and sat up in his bed. His heart was beating fast. It took a second to realize that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. "Just a minute," he called out. He looked over at his clock. 8:26 PM. He'd been asleep for a little more than a half hour.
"It's me," said the voice from outside the door.
Kurt put his hand on his chest, steadying his breathing. It was a dream. Not real. He swung his legs off the bed and when he stood up he came to a realization. In the dream, after Zach kissed him, dream Kurt realized that it wasn't what he wanted. Way to go, subconscious, thanks for telling me that after I acted like a selfish prick earlier. He opened his door and Zach was standing in his doorway. Kurt gulped hoping that his dream wasn't really a premonition.
"Are you okay?" Zach asked. "I know I asked earlier, but I wanted to make sure."
"Um," Kurt ran a hand through his hair. "Not really, but I'll be fine eventually… I hope."
"Want to talk about it?" Zach took a step closer.
Kurt took a step back. "Not really. Maybe tomorrow or something. You know, I actually have somewhere I need to be." Kurt side stepped to get around Zach. "I have to go."
"Kurt, can I talk to you for a second?" Zach asked stepping in Kurt's way of the door.
"I really-"
"I know, this will only take a second. Please?"
Kurt blinked his eyes, his heart still beating quickly. "Erm, okay."
"Can we sit?"
Kurt sat in a chair as far away from his bed as possible. After his dream he was really nervous to be in close quarters alone with Zach. Zach pulled Kurt's desk chair out and sat across from Kurt, looking like he had something important to say.
"Wait. You're not going to tell me you have feelings for me, are you? Because if you are, we can't be friends."
Zach started laughing. "Wow. I think I really need to explain myself." He laughed some more. "I think you're making things up in your head, but that's my fault."
"Please stop laughing," Kurt urged, confused.
"I wanted to apologize about last night at my house." Zach tousled his own hair, scratching his head. "I was worried that I gave you the wrong impression. I was really emotional about my brother because I'd never spoken about him to anyone except my parents and a therapist. It felt really good to get it out and it overwhelmed me to tell you the connection I made between you and my twin. I got the impression that it made you uncomfortable because you left my house so quickly afterwards."
Kurt gulped, slowly becoming relieved, but also growing embarrassed. "So, you don't have feelings for me? You weren't thinking about kissing me after you cried on my shoulder?"
"No. I mean, I like you, as a friend and a person."
"Oh my god. You don't have to let me down gently! I'm relieved. I thought you wanted to kiss me yesterday in your bedroom. I freaked. Then I thought you asking me to the Spring Carnival was supposed to be a date or something."
"Oh man! No. Sorry. I wanted to go and I like hanging out with you. If you want to know a secret, I wanted to ask Quinn, but I heard she's taking some guy named Nick from the Warblers."
Kurt thought for a minute and remembered Nick trying to tell him something weeks ago about Quinn. Was that what he was trying to tell me?
"So, I made this whole thing up in my head?"
"Wait! You said yes when I asked you to go to the Carnival with me. Does that mean that you said yes to a date with me?"
"I did, but I was really confused." Kurt was eager to hide the truth of the situation to avoid further humiliation.
"You don't have feelings for me, do you?" Zach was completely serious, but his expression was warm and trusting.
Kurt though back to his dream when he was frozen in place and only thinking Fuck. "No. Definitely not." He smiled. "It's just… you're so affectionate with me and you were giving off vibes."
"I'm sorry. This wouldn't be the first time someone thought I was gay. Can I use the excuse that I've spend most my life in Europe? Men are different there. In friendly company, some men in certain countries kiss each other on the cheek as a greeting. Others aren't opposed to hugging and nudity doesn't bother a lot of people because it's part of society really." He shrugged his shoulder. "Look at their art and beaches. It's not a sexual thing, just a different way of life than here." He paused. "The hand holding I have no excuse for other than I held my brother's hand and you needed reassurance and support."
They sat in silence for a second, taking in everything the other had said.
Zach continued. "I think what blurred the lines between us was that you are used to people being repelled away from you. Not too many people touch you at McKinley. The fact that I did, made me something different."
"I was really beginning to think you were at least bisexual."
Zach chuckled. "No. Straight as an arrow. Curt was the gay one."
"You're twin brother was gay?" Kurt was shocked.
"It's not uncommon in identical twins." Zach kept talking like the topic was no big deal. "I actually went through a confusion stage a few years ago because I saw my brother kissing another boy. I became confused because since we were the same, my young brain thought that if he liked boys then I must too… My mistake." He smiled. "Is this what you were stressed about earlier?"
"Part of it."
"What was the rest?"
"I feel like an idiot for the rest and it's a long story."
"Blaine?"
Kurt sighed. "Yeah. We kissed and then I basically told him that I thought we should see other people for a while."
"That wasn't very nice."
"I know."
"Why'd you do that? I thought you wanted to be with him."
"I do. As I said before, I was confused. And now I feel like a giant douche because he agreed to everything I asked for."
"Can I be honest?"
"Sure. Everyone else is."
"I think you made a mistake and didn't really know what the repercussions were because you have stars in your eyes whenever Blaine is around."
"I do?"
"Yeah. Even when you were upset or mad at him, you still lit up like a Christmas tree. I knew all along that you were in love with him. Hell, you still have your bracelet that he gave you on. I've been saying that for weeks now. It may go with every outfit, but really it just goes with your heart. As long at you had that around your wrist, it was like he was holding you hand and not me."
"So what do I do?"
"Talk to him. Apologize. Beg for forgiveness. You know, I bet he doesn't even know that what you did was wrong."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because he's seventeen and a teenager just wants what they want and doesn't care about the rest."
Kurt sighed again. "How do you know so much about so much?"
"It's easy to be objective when you're not the subject."
"Thanks, Zach."
"You're welcome. I'm sorry this took more than a second. Where is it you have to be?"
"At first, nowhere. I was trying to avoid you. I might have ended up at Mercedes' house."
"And now?"
"Dalton."
Zach smiled. "Good. I won't keep you."
They stood up and as they walked out into the hallway, Kurt remembered back to a conversation they had yesterday in Zach's living room about when Kurt doesn't need Zach anymore. "Hey. Beautiful weather we've been having?"
Zach smiled again and understood immediately what Kurt was trying to say. "The best. No rain. Sunny days and warm air. I got this new game that I'm stuck on for my Xbox."
"I hate video games," Kurt said with his head down, but a grin across his face.
"I hate talking about the weather."
Kurt looked up, still smiling, happy that Zach understood that this was Kurt's way of telling Zach that he didn't need him anymore. "I'll see you tomorrow, Zach."
"Oh! Wait." Zach touched Kurt's arm to stop him from running down the stairs ahead of him. "If you still want to go to the carnival with me, you should invite Blaine and some of the Warblers. We can make it a group thing."
"That sounds great. Hopefully he'll forgive me enough to want to go."
"I'll send out positive thoughts in your direction."
"Bye, Zach."
Kurt ran ahead of Zach and zipped past the living room so his dad wouldn't see him. He grabbed his shoes and car keys and ran out of the house to the car. He put his shoes on in the driveway and pulled his phone out of his pocket.
K- Finn, don't tell dad I left. I'm going to Dalton. Emergency. Don't know when I'll be home tonight.
F- Do you know how much you owe me for the past couple months?
K- I'll do whatever you want
F- I'll make a list.
K- Done.
F- Have fun
He started the car and he drove off into the almost fully set sun. I really hope sun down isn't the universe telling me something about Blaine and I. "Come on fate… Don't let me down," he said allowed.