June 1, 2012, 8:59 p.m.
Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder: Chapter 7
E - Words: 1,263 - Last Updated: Jun 01, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 86/86 - Created: Jun 01, 2012 - Updated: Jun 01, 2012 382 0 0 0 0
The night was going smoothly and both boys seemed to have forgotten all about the tearful episode that happened earlier and curled up on the petal covered duvet on the floor. They had broken out the chocolate covered strawberries and Kurt giggled at the clich� way Blaine tried to tease him with feeding him a strawberry then taking it away right before he had a chance to bite down.
"Tell me something," Kurt began.
"Anything."
"When you first told me that you wanted to be with me. You said it was my singing Blackbird that made you realize your feelings."
"Yeah."
"Was that it?"
"What do you mean?"
"You've heard me sing tons of times. Why that time? There had to have been other things that made you think there was something here."
Blaine smiled and averted his eyes. He was a little embarrassed to admit his girlish crush was less than manly. "There were a lot of things actually. They're stupid though. You don't want to know them."
Kurt didn't miss the childish way Blaine tried to hide his face. This made him want to know the answers even more. "Spill it! Anything that forces you to make that face is well worth the listening time."
Blaine rolled his eyes and sighed as he tried to muster up the courage and remember all the details. "Okay. Well, for starters, at first sight of you, my first thought was: Hello Beautiful. I was almost mortified at myself for having that reaction. Then, when the Warbler's sang Teenage Dream I wanted to kick my own ass when I realized I had been singing to you the entire time."
Kurt was shaking. He was trying to hold in laughter with every any and all strength he could find. The only thing he could manage as conversational non-comital noise was "Mmhmm."
"I felt that I needed to include you in everything I did when you transferred here. I explained that away as wanting to make you feel comfortable and welcomed, but really it was because I wanted you near me. It only amplified when I overheard Thad mention to Jerome that you were cute and wondered what it would take to get you back to his room."
Kurt didn't find this funny. He never told Blaine about the few instances he'd had where Thad had made him extremely uncomfortable. His facial expression changed dramatically.
"I have to admit that hearing that was kind of the last straw because I suddenly became angry with him and then I realized that I was jealous. I didn't want other people fantasizing about what was mine. Then you sang Blackbird and I saw all the passion come out of you through the song and I realized that you weren't mine. Not really anyway. I saw myself in the words you sang and I knew. I knew I could never be whole without you to complete me and I couldn't not say something and let some creeper like Thad try to seduce you-" he stopped himself when he saw Kurt's revealing expression. "-and now that you're stunned into silence and your eyes grew twice their size I can see that he already has tried something." Blaine was babbling.
"Not exactly. I mean, he's hit on me a couple of times-"
"A couple of times?"
"Or, you know, a few."
"A few?"
"Blaine, what do you want me to say? I turned him down and rejected him every time. You can't blame me for his taste."
"You're right. I'm sorry." He paused. "But I feel that I should point out that even though you would be considered high end as far as boyfriend's go, he doesn't have taste." Kurt made a face. He wasn't sure if he was being insulted. "He kind of goes for any guy with a pulse."
"Did he go for you?" Kurt asked shyly.
Blaine stayed quiet and just stared.
"What?" Kurt asked. It was a loaded question. It was one of those that Blaine understood to mean 'Tell me' and 'I'm about to get insanely jealous whether you tell me or not.'
"Shortly after I transferred here, Thad sort of took a liking to me. I hadn't had much experience being around other gay men and I certainly had never been hit on by one." He paused, staring blankly as if looking through the pillow to the left of Kurt. "I liked his attention. It made me feel desired, something I hadn't felt before. I wasn't sure how I felt about him. Looking back now I know that it was just the attention I liked and not him."
"What kind of attention?"
Blaine decided to just come out with it and not drag it out any longer. "We fooled around a bit, but I moved too slow for him, so he got bored and moved onto the next conquest. To be honest I was glad for him to find someone else." He looked back up at Kurt whose expression hadn't softened. If anything, it looked pained.
"Define 'fooled around,'" he said.
Now Blaine understood what was bothering him. It wasn't the kind of jealousy that came when you find you're not the only one, it was the kind that came when you realize that you hadn't gotten there first. "Um. Kissing mostly. Touching. That sort of thing. The touching thing only happened once and that was the last time. I wasn't comfortable."
"How did he touch you?" Kurt didn't bother asking if Blaine touched him back, he'd rather not know, but for some reason unbeknownst to himself, he felt that he needed to hear this. Even though he hated thinking that someone else experienced Blaine before him. Kurt's only other experience with men was Karofsky forcing a kiss onto him, but he didn't count that so much. As far as Blaine was concerned, Kurt was pure. That's how Kurt saw Blaine; too beautiful for anyone to touch so he must be as inexperienced as he was. Plus Blaine told Kurt that he'd never had a boyfriend. Kurt was na�ve. He assumed no boyfriend meant no experience.
"Kurt I don't want to talk about this. You're getting upset and I'm uncomfortable with this topic."
"Please? How?"
Now, Kurt's face softened. It wasn't gentle or happy, really. It looked pleading. Blaine took a deep breath and stumbled through his words. "He put his hand down my pants and sort of, I don't know, felt around?" His face turned red with shame. "Can we change the subject now?"
"I'm sorry," Kurt said. "Thinking about you with someone else makes me self-conscious."
Blaine moved to sit next to Kurt. "Then don't think about it. You're perfect the way you are."
"That's not it. I worry that when we do get to that point of… physicality… my inexperience will show and you'll be turned off."
Blaine swiftly pulled Kurt onto his lap and locked his lips with Kurt hard. In a quick burst of confidence and want to squash Kurt's fear, he kissed his boyfriend feverishly, the kind of kiss he knew made his pants tighten.
Kurt responded just as Blaine had hoped. When he broke from the kiss he delicately brought one of Kurt's hands down to the crotch of his pants.
Kurt's eyes went wide with shock and excitement. Instead of a smile, his mouth lolled open. He could feel Blaine's semi hard erection and held his breath.
Blaine's breath was ragged and his vulnerability caught up with him as he held Kurt's hand on the bulge under his denim. "You couldn't turned me off if you tried," he whispered in his ear. He removed Kurt's hand. "Breathe," he cooed.
Kurt let out a deep exhale. "I believe you." He said it simply, not knowing what else to say.