Whether it was one minute, one hour, or ten hours before Kurt and Blaine let go of one another, neither knew. In Blaine's arms, listening to him sob "I'm sorry" over and over, Kurt couldn't stop himself from saying "I know. I know."

In truth, he did know. Kurt did know that Blaine was sorry, but he was saddened to find that collapsing into Blaine's arms didn't have the effect he thought it would. He expected for all the bad feelings to disappear; for them to be over it all and get back to where they left off over a week ago. They didn't disappear, he wasn't over it, and they couldn't rewind a week of their lives. So, he backed up, looking apologetic.

Blaine let him lean back, but kept hold of his face, touching his skin with his fingertips. He saw the look on Kurt's face and read it wrong. He didn't see an apology, he saw a heartbreaking "finally."

Before Kurt knew what was happening, Blaine's lips where on his. They were hard and forceful, full of desperation, and pressed against Kurt's. Shocked and surprised, Kurt curled his body backward with his hands raised to his shoulders as he stepped back a few paces. His natural reaction made him feel even more guilty because there never was a time since they met that he didn't want to kiss Blaine until just now.

Blaine looked at Kurt, his thoughts chaotic. "What's the matter?" he asked, out of breath, sounding truly concerned.

Kurt was at a loss for words. He couldn't bring himself to say 'I can't,' but he also couldn't feel right if he let Blaine keep kissing him like nothing was wrong. He bit on his bottom lip. "Do you want to come inside?" he asked.

"Okay."

Blaine followed Kurt at a close distance, trying to hold back the urge to grab his hand. "No one's home?" he asked when Kurt shut the door.

"No. I don't know where anyone is. Finn is supposed to be grounded and Dad is probably still at the shop and I have no clue where Carol is. I just got back."

"I know. I was waiting." Blaine's head sank when he thought of what he saw when Kurt came home. Zach was holding him, touching him, being close with him like they'd always been that close. He knew he had no right to be jealous because they weren't together, but secretly he screamed in his head: that should be me!

Kurt knew what his last comment meant. I saw you with Zach. He overlooked the thought. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Sure." Blaine followed Kurt into the kitchen and sat at the kitchen island. Kurt poured water from their Brita pitcher into two glasses and sat across the island from him. "I'm sorry I kissed you. I thought… I don't know. I guess I just wanted to do that for so long and I got overwhelmed. I shouldn't have done that." He thought of Zach and Kurt again.

"No. You shouldn't have."

"So, nothing's changed then?"

Kurt stared for a moment and then reached into his bag that was on the floor and took the disc out, placing it on the island. Blaine looked at it wide eyed. "How did you get that?" he asked quickly, knowing exactly what it was.

"Trent. He saw me in the coffee shop today and gave it to me."

"Why?" Blaine said through his teeth. He hated that disc. It was a disc that changed everything.

Kurt exhaled noisily. "He was mad at Thad for making it and wanted me to find some sort of peace or perspective."

"And have you?"

"I haven't watched it yet. I just got it."

Blaine couldn't look Kurt in the eyes. His breathing became heavy. "Kurt I need to tell you something."

"I know."

"No. It's really important that I say it because it's something that I should have said a long time ago."

"No," Kurt interrupted. "I know. I know what happened. I know you were drugged. Trent told me."

Blaine eyes welled. "He told you?"

"Yes. When he gave me the disc." Kurt gulped and took a sip of water. "Blaine, I'm so sorry for not letting you explain. And I even more sorry that happened to you. I don't know what else to say except I'm sorry."

Blaine scrunched his face, trying to hold back tears. He'd been waiting to hear this from Kurt for ages now. He didn't need to hear that he was sorry, just that he knew, it was only icing to hear him say he was sorry when Blaine felt he didn't need to be. He was having a hard time looking at the slender boy in front of him. He looked broken, but strong; stronger than Blaine had ever thought he was. "C-" he licked his lips and started again. He was fidgety. "Can we just-" he paused. "be done with this part? Can't we skip it? Fast forward to the part where I'm standing in the rain with a radio over my head and apologizing until you take me back?"

Kurt really wanted to say yes, but his brain reminded him that Blaine cheated and Kurt wasn't obligated to take him back. "No." He said it softly, almost soothing, not harsh.

Blaine closed his eyes, finding it harder to hold back his tears. He was sure Kurt could see the gloss in his eyes. He sniffled. "Is it because of Zach?"

"No," he emphasized.

"I saw you with him today."

"I know you did. I'm sorry if that hurt."

"Are you two together?"

"No."

Then came the question Kurt never saw coming. "Do you want to be?"

Kurt froze. He never thought about it before because up until a few weeks ago, Zach was annoying. Now he was his closest confidant, but it still remained that Zach was straight and he never considered it. He was Zach, a friend. That was all. "Not in the romantic sense," he finally answered.

Blaine took in Kurt's answer before asking another question. "In a s-sexual sense?"

"N-No!" Kurt was shocked that Blaine made that leap, but he wanted to make sure Blaine knew he was being truthful. He took another sip of water, his mouth feeling dry, and began explaining his relationship with Zach over the past few weeks starting with how many times Zach told Kurt how sweet Kurt and Blaine were together. "Zach was there for me when no one else knew how. He treated me like a person who needed to get past this and breathe, than treat me like someone who could break. I wasn't a doll to him. I was real and he was a friend. He is a friend. You can hate him for what he did a while ago, but he's been nothing but supportive since then. He screamed at me to get out of my own way and talk to you."

"So he's not trying to make you his?"

Kurt was slightly bothered by his last question, but still remained calm. "How many times do you have to be told? He's straight."

"Oh." Blaine didn't have another question to ask so he stared at his glass of water that he hadn't touched.

Kurt didn't know what else to say at the moment. The mood was tense and awkward. He improvised conversation to lighten the mood. It didn't work. "How was your weekend with your Dad?"

"We talked a lot. It was great," he answered with no enthusiasm.

"It doesn't sound great."

"Forgive me. I'm a little preoccupied. I'm not really focusing on my relationship with my father right now."

"Maybe you should."

Blaine rubbed his neck. "I've always wanted a dad like yours and now that I'm getting one, I can't help, but think about the last piece missing in my life."

"Blaine…"

"Why?" He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Why can't I kiss you?" He tried to cover Kurt's hand with his, but Kurt flinched his hand away and grabbed his cup as if he meant to. "Why can't I touch you?"

Kurt stuck his tongue between his teeth before speaking, looking Blaine directly in the eyes. He put his glass down and touched the disc that still sat between them. He slid it in Blaine's direction. "That's why." He shook his head as he thought, pursing his lips. "I haven't even seen it and it's all I can think about. When I was in New York, I stayed up late crying and thinking about how much I missed you. Then, after talking to Trent and then seeing you… I thought being in your arms again would somehow fix everything. But it- it just didn't, Blaine. There's still only you in here." He covered his hand with his heart. "But I can't forgive you with a flick of a switch. YOU broke up with ME. You acted like I was nothing and then we were nothing. Just like that. You still cheated. It still hurts."

"But I -"

"I know. And I'm so sorry that it happened to you, but Trent told me the effect Ecstasy has on people and it didn't force you to have drugged out sex with James. You had other options. You had choices and you chose to be with him."

Blaine sat with a straight face, but tears streaming down his cheeks and running off his jaw line, some continuing down his neck.

"I can't forgive that right now. Maybe over time, but I'll need time in order for that to happen."

"Okay," Blaine agreed instantly as he nodded his head. "I can do that. I'll do anything. I know I have to earn you to deserve you. Just know that I'm going to work really hard to make us okay again."

"I know you will. I want us to work, Blaine. I just need time."

"Does that time include space too?"

"For now. I'll let you know when I'm ready to spend time together again."

"Okay." There was a minute when Kurt and Blaine stayed silent and just stared at each other, watching the words "I love you" and 'I'm sorry' flicker in both their eyes. Blaine stood up. "Walk me to the door?"

"Sure." Kurt took the disc and put it back in his bag so he wouldn't forget it on the island counter.

They got to the door and Kurt opened it for Blaine. "How was Nationals?" he asked before stepping over the threshold, not really wanting to leave.

Kurt semi smiled with closed lips. "We took home a third place trophy."

Blaine made the same face as Kurt, genuinely happy for him. "That's great. Really great. I'm ecstatic for you."

"Thank you."

His face went back to somber, knowing he had to leave now. "I love you, Kurt."

"I know you do." He gave him a reassuring half smile. "I always knew."

Blaine tucked his lips in his mouth for a moment while he stared into Kurt's eyes and swallowed the again rising lump. He leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Kurt let him without flinching for backing away. "Bye."

"Goodbye, Blaine," Kurt said softly. He watched the depleted curly topped boy get in his car, turn his head back, and wave before driving off. Kurt waved back. Once the car was out of sight, Kurt shut the front door and let the tears come. He wished he didn't feel this way. He was conflicted again. Shoved between two opposing wants. The want to forget what happened and, as Blaine said, be over it already was half of his inner battle. The other half was the want to take things slow with Blaine, rebuild what they had lost. He knew jumping back into something with the love of his life would be disastrous. He'd never be able to trust him again, he'd forever be jealous and remind himself of what happened until it destroyed them. He knew he made the right choice, but felt awful about it. It was the right choice, but the hardest to make. We'll make it through this, he thought. I know it.

The tears kept coming and he pulled his phone out of his pocket, not knowing what else to do.

K- Lady Antebellum

Z- Michael Jackson… lol I don't get it.

K- Need You Now

Z- I can't make it over right now. I'm making dinner with my mom. Why don't you come over here? I make a mean meatloaf.

Kurt wanted to smile and cry at the same time. He felt like Zach was already holding his hand. He didn't even question why I needed him. Just like that 'come on over.' No questions asked.

He sent a text to his Dad's phone. K- I'm eating dinner over Zach's house. Then sent a reply message to Zach. K- I'll be right over.

Z- Shania Twain

K- Huh?

Z- : ) Come On Over