Saturday afternoon

He couldn't move. Blaine sat straight up. His mouth was open, emitting shaking breaths. His eyes stayed fixed on the screen watching two people kissing; two people he knew; one was James, the other was himself.

At the five minute mark, Blaine had his hands in his hair, watching James begin to take movie Blaine's clothes off. "You should keep your hair gel free all the time. It's so curly and awesome. You're clothes are so soft," James stated dreamily."

He begged for movie Blaine to stop James, but it didn't happen. Movie Blaine didn't stop James; movie Blaine kept kissing the Collin Ferrell look-a-like.

At ten minutes Blaine could feel tears rolling down his eyes as both boys in the movie were completely naked, James backing movie Blaine onto the bed, Blaine's bed. He watched James kiss and lick his way down movie Blaine's body until he stopped at the curly haired boy's erect cock and took him into his mouth. Blaine was feeling light headed. He thought he was going to pass out.

At seventeen minutes movie Blaine stopped James momentarily and they appeared to be talking. Blaine realized he had the mute button turned on and he turned it off. He turned the volume up slightly and heard his own voice saying "Wait. We can't. I can't. This it wrong. I love Kurt."

"And what do you think Kurt is going to say or do when he finds out that you cheated on him?" James said calmly.

"But I didn't mean to. I didn't know it was you."

"How is that even possible?"

"I don't know. I don't know. I don't know how I even got up here. Shit my skin's on fire."

James laughed deviously and lowered his head back down onto movie Blaine. Movie Blaine moaned in pleasure, clearly unable to control himself. "You feel soo good against my skin." James sucked some more.

"No. Stop." James lifted his head off of Blaine at his command.

"Blaine. The second Kurt find's out, he's going to leave you. You're already doing it, why stop? It's not like it could get worse. You might as well enjoy yourself." He lowered his head again and after a few plunges of his head, he removed movie Blaine from his mouth. "Doesn't this make your skin feel better anyway?" He ran his hands down Blaine's entire frame. "To be touched? It takes the needing feeling away, doesn't it?" Movie Blaine closed his eyes and nodded. "It feels good doesn't it?" Movie Blaine nodded again. "Wouldn't it hurt for me to stop?" James stopped rubbing and movie Blaine's entire body flinched.

"Mmhmm." Movie Blaine licked his lips and started rubbing his own chest. It didn't look like it was serving his intended purpose because he looked anxious.

James stood up and took a step back. Movie Blaine looked up at James, he was trembling. Blaine looked at his own face on the screen carefully, hating what he was seeing. He saw movie Blaine's face weighing the options in his head as if there were more options than Stop, think of what you're doing to Kurt. With twenty minutes left to the movie, Blaine lost hope that this would end the way he wanted: movie Blaine to beat the shit out of James and throw him out the window for destroying any and all trust Kurt might have had for him. He knew what movie Blaine's choice was.

"Please," Movie Blaine begged.

"Please what?" asked James with a cheshiring grin.

Movie Blaine stood up and moved to James. The two were mere inches apart. "Please let me fuck you."

James grinned wider. "Would that make you feel better?"

Movie Blaine breathed hard a couple times, feeling James' hand cup his neck, almost in a romantic fashion. "Yes."

Blaine was able to tear his eyes away in time to see his trash can next to his desk. He heard the two boys in the movie crashing down onto the bed. He threw up in the trash while he listened to the mingled sounds of James and movie Blaine's moans.

The movie had ended and Blaine was still dry heaving into the trash can. The smell of vomit filled his room. He curled himself on the floor and balled his eyes out. "How?" He cried. "I don't understand. How could I do that? Why?"

It took exactly five minutes of him being on the floor like that to go from crying mess to angry. He took the disc out of his laptop and barged out of his room. He ran upstairs to the third floor and started pounding on James' door. "James. Open."

"Come in!" James yelled from inside the room.

Blaine slammed the door open, causing it to crash against the wall loudly. "Why did you do this?" he demanded, holding the disc up.

James smiled. He's smiling? "Hello, Lover."

Blaine threw the disc at him. "God fucking damn it, James! Tell me! Why?"

"Well, gee, Blaine. If you watch the movie again, you'll see that I didn't do all that much. You did quite a lot; you're very enthusiastic."

"Fuck you!"

"Again?" he raised and eye brow and grinned.

"Ahhh!" Blaine screamed. He made a motion to move, his fists clenched.

James put his hands up in a surrendering move. "If you hit me, I'll get you expelled." His voice was surprisingly calm.

"I'll tell the cops you're in possession of child porn. We're both minors, you know."

"That won't stop Kurt from knowing what his perfect boyfriend did."

Blaine froze. This is where he knew James had the upper hand. He had knowledge and proof. All he had to do was show it to Kurt. Blaine imagined the look on Kurt's face if he were to find out. He couldn't handle that face. Kurt doesn't deserve to ever have to make that face. He sighed and calmed his voice. "What do I have to do in order for you to not tell Kurt or anyone else, but especially Kurt."

"Oh! That's simple. I've already thought of it. I would like for you to break up with Kurt."

"What? No."

"Then I'm telling him."

"No. Isn't there anything else?"

"There is no way for you to win, Blaine. I tell Kurt and he dumps you. He somehow finds out, days, months, years later, he dumps you. Your fantasy romance with him won't last now that you've done what you did. You'll feel too guilty and tell him yourself. Can you guess what the outcome to that will be?" He paused to let Blaine process the information coming to him. "It's better for Kurt to be in the dark. If you break up with him now, he may never know. He'll never have to be in that much pain."

Blaine wanted so badly for James' words to be untrue. He wished that he believed that he could tell Kurt himself and somehow convince Kurt that he didn't remember it, he wasn't himself, he was more sorry than anyone could ever be, and if Kurt didn't leave him, he'd promise to spend the rest of his life proving how sorry he was. But devastatingly, he knew that's not how it would go. He'd tell Kurt, and Kurt would leave, hating him forever. James was right. "How do I know you'll keep your promise?" Blaine asked.

"Because I know that if I don't you'll run me right to the police."

"Okay. How long do I have?"

"Monday."

Sunday

Blaine tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep. All he could picture was the movie, James' conditions to not telling Kurt what happened, and how on earth he could ever think up a way to break up with Kurt. He couldn't imagine a life without Kurt now that he was in it. In order for him to go through with it, he had to keep reminding himself that breaking Kurt's heart was better than shattering it. He was doing this for the sake of Kurt. At least, that's what he was telling himself.

By morning, he was going over in his head how he could possibly make a break-up speech believable. They were so happy the morning before and there was nothing about Kurt that bothered him to use as an excuse. He couldn't be mean because he couldn't add one more thing on top of hurting Kurt, but he couldn't be weepy either because he knew Kurt would try to talk him out of it, and Kurt always got what he wanted. Maybe I have to be mean. Blaine thought. Being mean meant that he could say anything and Kurt would have to accept it. He'd have to think up something so hard hitting that Kurt couldn't respond quick enough and he could make his get away.

Blaine stopped his thinking. His acting skills weren't good. If he wasn't playing romantic or crooner, he felt his acting abilities were useless. How could he keep a straight enough face to say anything, let alone think something up. I can't break up with him. He won't buy it because I'll fall apart before I get the chance.

James stopped by before lunch and asked Blaine to join him in the caf� down the street. Blaine went, hoping that James would tell him that he changed his mind and he didn't have to break up with Kurt.

That wasn't what happened.

Instead, James wanted to discuss how Blaine was going to break up with Kurt and make it believable enough to make sure Kurt doesn't stalk him to try to get them to reconcile. Blaine insisted that Kurt wouldn't do that, but James went on talking anyway.

"You could always tell him that you and I are together and if he doesn't believe you, come find me and make out with me in front of him. That would do the trick nicely."

"Yeah, if you want me to throw up in your mouth."

"You weren't complaining the other night. Before the camera started rolling, you told me how great a kisser I was."

"I detest you. Let's get that straight. You're lucky I haven't murdered you yet. Jail would be a better sentence than this."

"Come on. You saw the movie. That was one of the hottest fucks I've ever had. I should tell you that I'm clean, by the way. I assume you are as well, having been only with Kurt, the virgin fairy."

"Clean?" Then it dawned on Blaine what he meant and it had nothing to do with a shower. He hadn't seen that part of the movie, he only heard it.

"Yeah. I don't have any STDs or anything."

"Don't tell me I wasn't wearing a condom."

James chuckled. "Didn't you see that part?"

"No. I was too busy heaving my guts out into the trash."

"You should watch it. It's hotter than porn."

"You filmed us having sex… it is porn."

"Still. You should watch it though."

"I'm all set. I'd rather not have that in my head. I'm good with just knowing" He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I take that back. I wish I didn't know."

They sat in silence while Blaine broke his bagel into a million pieces, not able to eat anything, and James ate a Panini.

"Can I ask you a question and get an honest answer back?"

"Sure, Lover."

"Please don't call me that. How did we get to my room?"

James wiped his hands and mouth after putting his sandwich down and grinned. "You told people you were headed to your room, but you were so messed up that you were headed in the wrong direction. I followed you and when I asked where you were going, you said to Kurt. I told you Kurt was in your room just to get you from not getting in your car and before you made it to your room, you were all over me. Though you kept calling me Kurt, which was gross."

"That's impossible. I would never mistake you for Kurt."

"Just like you would never cheat on him?" Blaine's heart sunk deeper. "You know, the part that worries me the most is that you are so worried about HOW it happened and not the WHY."

"What do you mean?"

"You don't remember you telling me that your skin was burning? You didn't pay attention to anything, did you? I think you must have been high or something. You were acting like you were on a bad trip. You touched me like you were sucking my soul out of my skin with your body and you freaked the fuck out when I stopped touching you. I only left when you finally fell asleep. You're lucky. I'm usually not a cuddler. I think cuddling is gross, but I wasn't going to complain because you let me suck your dick again and you jerked me off while I did it. You have really sweet cum. Most of the guys I've been with have really bitter semen, but yours was really worth the mouthful."

"There was more?"

"Well, yeah. The camera stopped rolling, but we didn't. I have to say that my only disappointment of the night was that you wouldn't let me fuck or finger you. I think you might have said something like "Not yet." I kept thinking that you were just playing with me to torture me, but you kept saying it over and over and seemed to be getting madder every time I tried or brought it up. Man, I lost track of how many orgasms I had that night. We were at it for hours."

"Why did you do it? You know I don't have feelings for you. I don't even like you as a person. If you knew something was up, then why do it?"

James chuckled again. "You're such a girl. Kurt must have rubbed his vagina off on you."

"Okay, you can stop with cutting him down now. You already have me breaking up with the only person I've ever loved, call him Kurt and nothing else from now on. You owe me that much."

"Fine. My point is that I never wanted to be your boyfriend. I'm not a feelings type of person. I just wanted to get in your pants. It was so worth it. Now I can move on with my life because nailing you was all I could think about since I saw you."

"Do you not think about other people? You used me and you're torturing Kurt for it."

"Do you? You teased me the first day we met, making me think I could have you, then rub Kurt," James emphasized Kurt's name, "in my face. Not to mention you busted my lip and he acts like he's better than me."

"That's because he IS better than you and you deserved to be punched in the face for what you said about him."

"They're just words. I'm sure he gets things like that all the time and is used to them."

"You're disgusting."

"Then why are you here, huh? Why'd you come out with me if you hate me so much?"

Blaine really thought about how to answer his question. "Because I can't face my friends right now and when I'm alone, all I want to do is go to Kurt, but I can't do that. I don't know, maybe because the person I feel the most comfortable around is the only person who is as awful and dirty as I feel."

"Ouch."

"Is there anything, anything I can do to make this go away? I know you don't care about feelings, but I don't know how to live without him. I always make everything about him, but the truth is, I'm only happy when I'm making him happy. I love him, and I don't care if it's some teenage thing. I just need him by my side. Please. Please don't make me do this."

James stuck his bottom lip out. "Aw. Tears." Blaine wiped his eyes with his fingers. "I'll tell you what. I'll let you keep Kurt and I promise to never say a word to him or anyone else, if you come back to my room and fuck me like you did Friday night. Wait! I take that back. I would very much like to fuck you instead."

"I- I haven't. I can't."

James picked up on the meaning behind the stutter immediately. "You've never- nothing? Ever?"

"No. That's probably why I kept saying 'not yet.' I hadn't even let Kurt do it, though he's tried to seduce his way into fingering me." Blaine immediately wished he hadn't said the last part.

"I haven't had virgin ass in a while. I think I would like that as my new condition. You can keep you secret and the video will go away, if I can fuck you." Blaine couldn't find the words the answer. His mind went blank. "It's a conundrum, isn't it? Having sex with me just to keep your boyfriend from knowing you're having sex with me."

Now Blaine understood why movie Blaine was having a hard time weighing his options. He was choosing between two evils. He didn't want to lose Kurt, he couldn't, but he couldn't force himself to lose his last shred of virginity to James. That was supposed to be meant for Kurt. Then he heard a little voice in his head; a voice of reason. He's going to find out eventually, somehow. His conscience was right. Kurt would know one day. This is the kind of secret that never stays hidden. He couldn't do this to himself to hide something that he was sure wouldn't stay hidden for very long.

Blaine stood up from his chair and eyed the caf� exit. "Are we leaving?" James asked, his voice full of assumption.

"No," Blaine said curtly. "I'm leaving; you're staying."

"Will I be seeing you later?"

"If you do, it will only be in passing."

"You know what this means, right?" James asked with his eyebrows up.

"Yeah I do," Blaine replied with his eyes down. "I'm breaking up with Kurt tomorrow." He sniffled once, put his hands in his pockets and walked out.

Blaine got back to his dorm and looked at his phone. He'd had it on silent since last night. The missed call list was at three. They were all from Kurt. He also had four texts. They were also from Kurt.

8:00 AM: K- Good morning. I miss waking up next to you. I woke up with wood this morning and you weren't here to take care of it : ( Thanks for a great afternoon yesterday. Love you xoxo

9:50 AM: K- You must be in the library with your ringer off. Call me when you get a minute. I have a question for you.

11:00 AM: K- Okay, I can't wait. Dad's taking Carol out for dinner tonight so that leaves Finn and I to fend for ourselves. How about I take you out for dinner to rest your brain?

The last one came while he was out with James.

1:15 PM: K- Wow. I don't think we've ever gone this long without speaking since we met. Everything okay? Love you

Love you. Blaine thought. He practically heard the high pitched voice saying it as if he were in the room. "I love you too." He hit reply on the last text and slowly punched the keys with his thumbs, dragging out the moment. B- No matter what happens, just know that I love you very much. I always will.

K- Is that a yes or no to dinner?

B- It's a no. I'm sorry.

K- Don't be sorry. You're busy. I understand. I love you.

Blaine closed his eyes, feeling the tears slide down his cheeks. He opened them and hit reply a final time. B- I love you. He sent the message and squeezed his phone in his hand as he held back a scream. Blaine couldn't contain it anymore. He collapsed on his bed and shrieked into his pillow. He punched his mattress over and over. Only moments later Blaine began stripping his bed of everything, suddenly being able to smell Kurt on every blanket and sheet.

When he was finished, he continued on to ripping his clothes off, leaving him standing in his boxer briefs. He stopped moving. He stared down at his pile of clothes and bedding looking broken. He felt broken. Blaine sighed and laid down in the pile of Kurt scents. He rolled himself up and breathed in through his nose. He wasn't ready to let him go. "I'm sorry," he cried before taking in another breath. "I'm so sorry." Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Sleep finally found him wrapped up in Kurt's scent.

Monday

Kurt sat anxiously in his chair Monday afternoon in the choir room, waiting for the Warblers to arrive so and rehearsal could start. He kept staring at the door for Blaine to walk through it and take the seat next to him, greeting him with a kiss on the cheek and that smile that always made him melt.

"Are you cold, Kurt?" Brittany asked.

"No. Why?"

"You're shaking and you keep rubbing your hands together. I do that when I'm cold. I also put a sweater on, or burrow myself in a sleeping bag. I pretend I'm in the belly of a whale when I do that."

He looked at the blonde oddly, a face he was used to giving her after three years of knowing her. "Thanks Brittany. I'll try that next time." He looked back to the door.

After a weird day on Sunday, he was apprehensive about seeing Blaine. Saturday was fantastic, but Sunday was filled with ignored calls and text messages on Blaine's end. Kurt was hoping his feelings were all in his head, but a gut feeling was telling him something was wrong.

The Warblers filed in shortly after his conversation with Brittany. Blaine walked in talking with Jeff and took a seat next to the tall blonde boy without stopping their dialogue or looking up at Kurt.

Kurt narrowed his eyes in confusion as he continued to look at the back of Blaine's head. Wes and David, who were standing at the front of the classroom with Mr. Sheuster, looked from Blaine to Kurt and back again a few times, wearing a similar perplexed expression.

"Kurt are you okay?" Mercedes asked after Mr. Sheuster can Wes gave their closing remarks to signify the end of rehearsal.

"I don't know. Something's wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"Something's wrong with Blaine. He didn't sit next to me, like he always does, he barely looked at me at all, and there's something about his demeanor that isn't him. He's not himself."

"You said that you had a good weekend, right?"

"Yes. We had a great time on Saturday. I mean, he did send me a cryptic text message on Sunday and then didn't return any of my calls, but…" Kurt wasn't looking at Mercedes. He was preoccupied with watching what Blaine was doing.

"What did the text say?"

Kurt opened up the text message from his inbox on his phone. B- No matter what happens, just know that I love you very much. I always will.

"What were you talking about before it?" She asked, handing the phone back.

"Nothing. I sent texts and called him a few times, but he didn't answer any of my texts or calls until this one." He looked back to the group of Warblers and turned the conversation back to Blaine's current actions. "See, even now, he's not coming to say hello. He's corralled with that group over there."

"Those are his friends, Kurt."

"Correction. Those are OUR friends. And that's besides the point. You know Blaine. He ignores everyone else on the planet when he sees me. Right now he's flat out pretending I don't exist."

"Maybe you're reading too much into this. Just go talk to him. He's probably just playing hard to get."

"I hope your right." Kurt was confused. This was so out of character for Blaine. Blaine was peppy and exuberant. He was consumed by Kurt. The Blaine that Kurt was seeing right now was stuck up and reserved. "Here goes nothing."

Kurt got up from his chair and walked over to the group of Warblers by the piano. "Hey guys."

"Hi Kurt," Wes said cheerily.

"Dude," started Nick. "You need to spend more time at Dalton. It's not the same when you're not around."

Kurt eyed Blaine who looked down and seemed unaffected by what was being said. "Sorry, I tend to keep Blaine all to myself. You're right though. I do need to spend more time there." He bumped his hip with Blaine's. "As long as this guy let's me." He laughed nervously. "Blaine, can I talk to you?"

Blaine looked up at him with an expression that could only be described as an arrogant 'why?'. "Sure."

What is wrong with him? Kurt screamed in his head, feeling very confused. He walked him over to an empty corner of the choir room. "Are you okay? You're acting strangely."

"I'm fine. A little stressed maybe, but otherwise I'm fine." He said it like there really was nothing wrong. He was acting carefree, but to Kurt, there seemed like there was a disconnect.

"Is there anything I can do to help with your stress?" Kurt wished he could have made it sound more flirtatious because that's what he always does, but there was still something nagging him. Blaine was acting like nothing was bothering him, but this wasn't the Blaine he knew and loved. His heart was beating very fast now from nerves. He was worried about the curly haired boy in front of him.

Blaine licked his lips and rubbed the back of his neck, looking like he was thinking. "Uh, yeah. I think there's something you can do."

"Great. Anything. What can I do for you?"

Blaine looked into Kurt's eyes, his face holding what looked like a resolved face, a stone cold, serious expression. "You can stay away from me."

It took Kurt a few seconds to register what he was hearing. "What?" he asked for clarification. His eyes narrowing and his brow furrowed.

"You can stay away from me," Blaine repeated. "And if you want something else to do, you could stop calling me too."

Kurt stared at Blaine's face searching for any sign that this whole thing was a cruel joke that they'd be fighting about in five minutes. The corner of Blaine's mouth twitched slightly in an odd moment, but there was nothing else to Blaine's expression. He was serious. He was emotionless and matter-of-fact.

The tears weren't coming yet, but Kurt could feel them. "W-Why?" His voice was soft.

"I've been spending a lot of time wondering about a lot of things: Why do I miss out on a lot of things with my friends? Why does my father hate me? Why am I always so tired and just barely getting things done at the last minute? There's only one common denominator: you. I've gotten in more fights because of you than any other reason in my life. More recently, I spend more time in classes texting you than paying attention. It would only have been a matter of time before my grades started slipping. I've become so soft being under your spell that it's exhausting. This relationship is all about you and I need to spend sometime with me."

"I don't understand. We were so happy this weekend. You told me you loved me. You said it yesterday! And now you're…" He couldn't say the words.

Blaine filled in the blanks. "Breaking up with you." His mouth twitched again before his face went back to emotionless.

"But we love each other. I love you." He was becoming angry. He wasn't understanding any part of what Blaine was saying.

Blaine's face finally showed a crack. He flatted his lips and made his jaw crooked. There was a pause, for what Kurt didn't know, before Blaine straightened his jaw out again and spoke. "I don't care."

Kurt's heart was pounding out of his chest. He doesn't care? What the fuck happened to him? This isn't Blaine! He could feel his skin heating up and he was getting a little light headed. "You don't care? But we… you and I… what we did…" Kurt couldn't bring himself to say that they made love because the term included the word love and clearly Blaine no longer cared for that.

In a cool tone, almost happy, Blaine said, "Yeah, thanks for that. It was nice." Kurt wanted to slap him. "Come on. Who are we kidding? Kurt we're seventeen years old. Graduation is going to come and we're going to ride off into the sunset?"

The tall, slender boy gulped, trying to keep his body from shaking. He didn't know what to say. He was speechless. "It was fun while it lasted," Blaine concluded. When Kurt didn't respond, Blaine turned and started to walk to the door.

"Hey!" Kurt yelled, running back up to him. He had moved on to being furious. Blaine looked back to him. "What the fuck is wrong with you? This isn't who you are. Talk to me! Even if you don't want to be with me, you still owe me the truth." There was silence in the choir room. The remaining room of people had turned their attention to the two boys having a shouting match.

Blaine stayed silent, he was caught off guard. "Even if those reasons are true, this isn't my fault and you know it. Those are your problems and to blame me is the most cowardly thing you could ever do. You made your choices. And don't you DARE dismiss what we did as nothing more than fun. It was so much more. It ran deeper. I did nothing to deserve this and you're an asshole for thinking otherwise."

"What do you want from me?" Blaine's stone cold austere was beginning to falter.

"The truth."

Blaine took a deep breath and looked away before boring his eyes into Kurt's. "The truth is that I don't want you to look at me, to come near me, or speak to me. I don't want anything to do with you past this concert. As of right now, we're done."

"Blaine!" Kurt grabbed Blaine's arm as he tried to walk away.

"Stay away from me!" Blaine took his arm back and stormed out of the room, leaving Kurt standing among the open mouthed New Directions and Warbler members.