Blaine was standing in his boxer briefs waving his hand under the shower stream to test the temperature. He was swaying along with his hand movements.

Kurt gulped at the sight of Blaine: rippling muscles from the neck down, defined everything, and the greatest shaped ass that always remained hidden under uniform trousers. Kurt had always thought that Blaine had gone tanning to give him the beautiful color his skin exhibited, but looking at him now, he saw it was natural and probably the sexiest thing he'd ever layed eyes on. He exhaled and there was a tremble in his breath. He cleared his throat. "Blaine. I brought these in for you." He tried his utmost to keep his eyes up and on Blaine's face. He gulped again when Blaine turned his way, completely showing off the front of his body. Thad was right, he thought as he caught a glimpse of Blaine's hip muscles that formed the top of a V and disappeared into his boxers.

Blaine stayed silent. He simply smiled. He made a move to retrieve the items Kurt brought him, but Kurt stepped towards him. "No, you're not that steady on your feet." Kurt approached him and Blaine placed his hands over Kurt's who was still holding everything.

"Thank you," he said. Blaine looked tenderly into Kurt's eyes.

"You're welcome." Kurt's heart was pounding. This was the look that he'd catch Blaine giving every now and again. It's what gave him hope they would end up together one day. "I'll…I'll just be in your room. If you need anything… just holler." Blaine put everything in the sink to their right without so much as flinching away from Kurt's face. They were inches apart from each other and Blaine was almost naked. Kurt breathed heavily, still trying to keep his eyes up. "O-okay. I'll be going now."

"Wait." Blaine gently grabbed Kurt's hands. Then there is was, the pained face again. Kurt turned to puddy because of that face. He'd do anything to make it go away if it meant making Blaine happy again.

Blaine brought Kurt's hands up to his mouth and kissed both of them. He opened one palm up and place it on his own cheek and nuzzled it with his eyes closed. Kurt closed his eyes too and sighed. His heart was sinking. Blaine was being so sweet and warm. He'd forget this all in the morning, Kurt was sure about that, and they'd go back to normal, Kurt's love going unrequited. "Blaine," he said, hushed.

"Stay with me." He was pleading, but not asking.

"I can't," Kurt replied with somberness in his voice.

"Why not?" Blaine asked in the same tone.

Kurt's eyes bored into Blaine's whose were not open, but had sadness to them. "You won't remember this in the morning, so it makes this easier to say." Blaine crinkled his forehead, but still retained the look in his eyes. Kurt swallowed hard. "I would give anything to have you asking me the stay, and looking at me the way you were when I walked in, and kissing me, but I would give much more than that to have you do it sober." He took his hand back from Blaine's face. "Take your shower, you'll feel better. I'll be in your room when you're done."

"Why don't you want me?" Blaine's eyes teared and Kurt's breath caught, wanting to cry himself.

"You'll never know how much I do want you, Blaine." He started to turn. Blaine grabbed his hand again.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Just take your shower."

"No, it's not okay. I'm hurting you. I can see it. Everyday I can see it. I don't know how stupid I am for not telling you a long time ago that it's taken every ounce of will power I have not to grab you, and hold you, and kiss you, and never let you go."

Tears dropped from Kurt's face freely. "What do you want from me?"

"Don't cry. Just don't cry." With that Blaine leaned in and kissed Kurt with a passion he'd never felt.

Kurt gave in and let Blaine kiss him. It was warm and inviting. There was sense of electricity about the way Blaine held him and put pressure on his lips. Kurt opened his eyes for an instant and saw Blaine's shut tight.

In an abrupt maneuver, Blaine pulled himself from Kurt's lips and tucked himself into Kurt so that no part of their bodies weren't wrapped up in each other. "I'm so sorry," he cried. "I've wanted to kiss you for so long. I'm sorry. Kurt, I'm so sorry."

Kurt remained silent as he listened to Blaine's sobs and apologies. As much as these moments should have brought him joy because he wanted them so badly, they only brought him pain. He felt like he did when Karofsky kissed him, cheated. This wasn't supposed to happen this way, he thought. He's supposed to be sober and nervous to tell me how he feels, not sad. Our first kiss is supposed to be surrounded by happiness, not apologies. Kurt waited until Blaine stopped shaking with gasping cries. Blaine's grasp on Kurt's body loosened some and Kurt pulled away, still looking at the tear stained face of the boy he loved and keeping him at arms length.

"You look tired," he said.

Blaine sniffled. His eyes were closed. He looked like he fell asleep on his feet. "I am. I'm so tired."

"Okay. Let's get you off to bed then." Kurt got under Blaine's shoulder and wrapped his arms around his body in two places. He took the stance he did when he was bringing Blaine up to his room and slowly walked him over to his bed. While still holding on, he managed to turn down Blaine's bed.

Blaine slumped himself down on the mattress. "Lay on your side, Blaine." Blaine did as he was instructed. He was limp like a rag doll, but still capable to moving himself. Kurt took Blaine's body pillow and tucked it behind Blaine's back so he couldn't roll back. He pulled the covers up to Blaine's shoulder and just as he was about to move away Blaine grabbed his hand. "Stay," he said.

"I'm not going anywhere," he meant it; in more ways than one.

"Don't let me forget in the morning."

"Forget what?"

"What I told you in the bathroom." Kurt didn't answer. "Promise me," he said.

"I promise." It was that moment that Kurt decided to lie. He wouldn't tell him what they shared that night or confess his feelings for him until Blaine came to terms with his own. He had resolved to keep the events of that night hidden until Blaine remembered. Kurt had little hope that Blaine would remember, but a little goes a long way.

Blaine fell asleep almost instantly. Kurt walked back into the bathroom and turned the shower off. He grabbed a throw blanket that was on the foot of Blaine's bed and curled up on an armchair in the corner and fell asleep with the taste of Blaine still on his lips.

"I don't remember any of that," Blaine said barely audible.

"No, you wouldn't, would you? You woke up in the morning and the first thing you said when you saw me was 'what happened?' and 'how did I get here?'" There was a somberness to Kurt's voice, but there was a hint of matter-of-factness to it. He had come to terms with the disappointment he felt when he realized the kiss they shared the night before might be the only one they ever did and that Blaine might never know that Kurt knew how Blaine felt, but couldn't understand why he wouldn't end his suffering by letting himself fall for Kurt. Was Kurt so wrong to fall for?

Blaine's eyes welled with tears. "You held this memory in? Why didn't you tell me?"

Kurt lowered his face. He wasn't sure why, but he felt ashamed. "I was used to you rejecting me. I thought that if you didn't remember then it was one thing that I could have just for me, but if I told you and you disregarded it, then it would have ruined us." He looked back up. "I just wanted a piece of that night to be real so badly."

Blaine kneeled and offered his hands to Kurt. "Come here." Kurt kneeled and collapsed into Blaine's arms. "Just because I don't remember it, doesn't make what I said any less true." He held Kurt tighter. "That part I said about never wanting to let you go… I still feel that way. You walk into a room and all I want to do it grab you. When I know you have to leave, a lump starts to rise in my throat and all I can think is 'how am I doing this time after time?' It kills me to no end to think you held this inside, thinking I could only love you if I were drunk." He pushed the fragile boy far enough away so that he could see his face. Blaine made Kurt look him in the eyes. "You mean the world to me. I am empty without you. That is something I will never forget. Got it?" Kurt nodded and collapsed back into Blaine. "I'll never let you go," he said into Kurt's hair.