July 20, 2012, 8:51 a.m.
Did You Miss Me: Chapter 4
M - Words: 1,974 - Last Updated: Jul 20, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 11/11 - Created: Jun 10, 2012 - Updated: Jul 20, 2012 328 0 0 0 0
~Henry Miller~
“He held my hand while I sang. It was such an open and unguarded moment. It was as though he were saying that I moved him. I moved him so much that he had to reach out and touch me.” Kurt cradled his phone in both hands. He stared at it as if it held all of the answers to life’s burning inquiries. He waited for any sound to come out of the speaker. When none came, he continued talking.
“You have to tell me what to do! You have a way of looking at life that is honest and to the point. I trust you. So, what do you think I should do?”
The person on the other end of the phone exhaled softly. “Dude, the next time I see you I am so kicking your ass. Kurt do you know what time it is?”
“You have the rest of your life to sleep. Right now you have to help me Finn!”
“Okay, okay. Calm down Kurt. Listen man, you are one of the most honest people I have ever known. Why are you willing to compromise that now? There has to be a reason. So tell me this, why is this guy that you’ve only known for like an hour, so important?”
He had so many answers to that question. Kurt didn’t quite know where to begin. He wanted to say that when he was with this stranger, he didn’t feel like a stranger. When he looked into his eyes he could see a thousand happy tomorrow‘s. When he held his hand his skin burned with possibilities. Just the idea that he might see him again made him feel like he wasn’t alone, even if he was.
He really didn’t know how he could explain any of that to Finn. So he didn’t try. “Let’s just say that I have a second chance at finding the love of my life. I don’t want to let him get away again.”
“Wait, again? Dude are you talking about that guy at Scandals? What did you call him?”
“Sweet and sloppy.”
“Kurt that happened years ago! And you can’t let someone get away when you never had them. I cannot believe you’re still dwelling on that. You can‘t make life decisions based on a chance meeting that happened when you were a teenager.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three years ago:
“Mercedes, we have to go right now.”
“But Kurt, it’s drag queen Wednesday!”
He grabbed her hand and pulled her away from a Lucy or a Reba, he couldn’t tell. “Come on, Karofsky is here and I have to leave!”
“Okay, okay! Slow down Kurt!”
He was in such a rush trying to make his way out of Scandals that he ran right into a Cher and got a face full of Cosmo. His eyes were stinging but he didn’t care. He blindly made his way out the door with Mercedes in tow. They made it across the parking lot to his car before she grabbed his arm and made him stop.
“What was that about? Kurt, tell me why you look so terrified.”
His eyes were tearing, he didn’t know if it was from the alcohol bath or something else. “Please,” he whispered. “Can we talk about it tomorrow? I just need to go home.”
“Get off of me Sebastian!”
Kurt turned toward the sound of the yelling in the otherwise quiet parking lot. He could barely make out two figures. The shorter man was pushing a taller man away. He stumbled and fell. The taller of the two stumbled to the door of the bar and looked back.
“You need to grow up! I foresee a lot of lonely nights in your future if you’re just going to be a cock tease. That bashful school boy thing will only take you so far, superstar.”
The pushy one went back into the bar leaving the other boy still sitting in the parking lot.
“Hey, are you okay?”
The drunk man looked over at Kurt and called out. “This has NOT been the best night of my life. But tomorrow will be better.” He slurred.
Kurt laughed. His problems temporarily forgotten. “I wouldn’t count on that. Believe me, been there.” He called back.
“Right. The puking. After the puking it will be better! Gotcha.”
Kurt leaned to the side and whispered out of the side of his mouth. “Mercedes, I can’t see a thing. Is he cute? Please tell me he’s cute.”
“Oh believe me honey, he is beyond cute and bordering on o-m-g.”
“How old?”
“Our age I think.”
Kurt turned his blurred gaze back to young man. “Hey you! Do you need me to call a cab? My friend and I can stay with you until it comes. You know, if you’re worried about that guy coming back.”
“That’s nice of you, but my brother is on his way to get me.” He pushed himself up. “Don’t worry about that guy, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me anymore. Which is shocking right? I am a really likable guy! By the way, you are very pretty and I love you! You are my knight in skin tight armor.”
Kurt and Mercedes were both laughing now. “And you are a very sweet and sloppy drunk!”
“True! And you love me for it, don’t you?”
Kurt rolled his still stinging eyes and grinned. “Actually Mr. Sweet and Sloppy I think I do love you.”
“Then come over here and meet me properly. Give me your number so we can meet for coffee sometime and live happily ever after. We can make art and help people!”
Kurt laughed and stepped forward. A hiss from Mercedes stopped him.
“Kurt what do you think you are doing? You can’t go over there and give your number to some random drunk stranger. Boy, you know he’s not even going to remember this tomorrow.”
“But what if he does? He’s sweet and funny and I think I could really like him.” He turned back toward the drunk teen.
“Hey what’s your name?” Kurt asked.
“Give me yours and I’ll give you mine.” He laughed at his own joke before making a grand flourish with his hands and bowing. “Sir Knight in the skin tight armor, my name is….”
A car came to a screeching halt right in front of Kurt’s sweet drunk. Kurt could just make out the figure of a man jumping out of the drivers side.
“Hey squirt! Are you okay? Here, get in the car. You are so lucky I’m in town. Dad would kill you if he saw you like this.”
Kurt started running toward the car but it was too late.
“You didn’t tell me your name!” Kurt yelled as the car passed by. He watched as it drove away taking his sweet flirty drunk with it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Finn what am I going to do? Do I tell Blaine the truth now and risk loosing him before I even have a chance to know him? Or do I wait and tell him after we know each other and risk loosing someone I care deeply for?”
“Go home Kurt.”
“So, you’re saying I should go back to New York?”
“No Kurt. I think you should check out of your hotel room and go home. Go see your dad. I get the feeling that you think this person could be the last man in your life? Maybe the first man in your life might be able to help you more than I can. Go talk to Dad.”
Kurt squeezed his eyes shut and let his head fall back on his seat. “Maybe you’re right Finn. Maybe I do need to go home for a little while.”
“Good, I’m glad.”
“Thanks Finn. Bye.”
“Wait, Kurt! You never told me whether you decided to meet that guy for coffee.”
Kurt looked up through his car window at the storefront of the Lima Bean. “I’m seriously considering it.” He slipped his phone into his pocket and got out of the car.
He hadn’t even debated whether or not he would show up today. It had been a long time since he had awakened excited about his day. Kurt could barely remember the last time. Maybe when he was actually in high school? He would often wake up excited about a competition or the solo he would be singing that day. Or in anticipation of seeing his latest crush in the hallways. But it had been awhile. Lately his life was just school, work, and home. Lather rinse repeat. But this morning? He had jumped out of bed as soon as the alarm sounded. He gazed at the outfit he had so lovingly picked out the night before. He couldn’t wait to start his day. Even with the worry of the unknown, the pangs of guilt over his deceptions, he was excited. This is what life should feel like. Exciting and anticipatory. A longing for a journey into the unknown. Feeling joy just from the possibility of seeing him. Blaine. He realized that in that moment he did feel like a teenager again.
Kurt ordered his coffee and found a table by the window. He was just about to settle in when he heard the door chime announce a new arrival. He had built this moment up inside his head so much overnight. He fully expected that when Blaine entered the coffee shop he would do so surrounded by heavenly light and accompanied by trumpets. Instead, Kurt took one look and giggled. He did a mental check of the calendar. Nope, he thought, not the Fourth of July. So the white pull over, blue bow tie and red pants were not a patriotic homage. It was just Blaine being Blaine. And he kind of loved him for it.
Without thinking about it Kurt just smiled and opened up his arms. Blaine’s already thousand-watt smile grew impossibly brighter as he slipped into Kurt’s embrace. They held each other as if they had known one another forever. After a moment he felt Blaine stiffen slightly in his arms. He turned his head and Kurt shivered slightly at the warm breath tickling his neck.
“Kurt, I can’t do this.”
“Right, sorry!” Kurt pushed himself away. “Teacher, student, I get it. We don’t want anyone getting the wrong impression, right?” He patted his back in what he hoped conveyed an ‘aw shucks pal!’ attitude. He gave Blaine a slight shove in the direction of the counter then sat down. While Blaine was ordering his coffee, Kurt tried to use that time to calm himself down.
When Blaine returned Kurt didn’t even give him a chance to sit down before he launched into a nervous apology. “I’m sorry about that hug. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I would never want to do anything that would cause you trouble.” He began to squirm when his words were met with silence. “Mr. Ander… Blaine?”
“Do you like me Kurt?” His eyes were wide and pleading.
“Of course I like you.”
“No. I meant, and I apologize for using a ten year old girls’ vernacular, do you like me like me?”
He would have laughed at that if he didn’t feel so guilty about putting that look of worry on his face. He doesn’t feel the same and he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings, Kurt thought. He decided that he needed to let Blaine off the hook.
“I do,” he said truthfully. “But, I’ll get over it,” he lied. He reached out and patted the back of his hand. “Don’t worry about me Blaine. I’ve been through the crush thing before. I am full of hope though. Hope that one day it won’t just be me feeling this way. Someday, someone will look at me and think to himself…”
“Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you forever.”
Kurt’s breath caught in his throat when Blaine’s hand turned in his until it was palm up and squeezing back. “Blaine, what?”
“It’s not just you Kurt.”