Kurt managed to get some sleep that night, but not enough to wake up when the alarm clock rang. He woke up to Pavarotti's singing, after 20 minutes of over sleeping.

He wiped his eyes and quickly started taking off his clothes.

"Oh, Pavarotti, what would I do without you?" he said still half asleep while dressing up "I'll just finish dressing up and then I'll feed you" he said while pulling up his pants. Pavarotti shrieked in agreement.

Kurt ran to his desk and threw recklessly all the textbooks that were on it and then hurried to apply some moisturizing cream on his face. Like every morning, he hummed a song for Pavarotti and then waited for him to answer, but instead of an answer, Kurt heard a small rustle of metal.
Kurt turned to his right. 'Pavarotti?' No answer. He opened hysterically the cage and tried to touch him softly and see if he moves. Oh no! he gasped.

How did that happen? he thought while climbing down the stairs and running to grab anything from the kitchen.

"Hi dad, can I please take the car today? I'm gonna be late for school"
"Sure, don't sweat it," Burt answered "how was the party last night?"

"I'll tell you all about it later, I don't want to be late" he grabbed two slices of bread from the countertop and ran outside the house.

"Ok, have fun at school" he yelled as Kurt closed the door and tapped on the remote control to open his car before he jumped inside the black Jeep.

Kurt felt awful on his way to school, Pavarotti's death made him feel as ten times as vulnerable as ever. For the first fifteen minutes of driving he was able to keep himself from crying, but as the realization fell on him, he decided to let himself unload his sorrow.
He cried until his eyes were red, he wasn't able to breathe from his nose and he had a serious headache. He pulled his car aside after he was out of the highway. He didn't care anymore that he was late for the Warblers' morning rehearsal.
He had settle down so he'd be able to concentrate on driving. Kurt returned to the road, this time calmer, with only little sobs from time to time. He knew he wouldn't be able to hide his sorrow from everyone else, so no point in trying.

***

Although Blaine was one of the most popular men in Dalton, there was one thing that still scared him – total rejection from someone he truly cared about.

It was already afternoon, and he was on his way home after the Warbler's rehearsal.

"What's that?" Blaine entered the room hesitantly to pick up his stuff.

"Oh! I'm just decorating Pavarotti's casket" Kurt said concentrated, barely moving his eyes from the case.

"Well, finish up. I've got a great song for us and we should practice" He said with all the enthusiasm he could muster, he loved the fact that he could turn his nervousness to positive excitement.

"Oh! Do tell!" Kurt was cooperating just as he wanted him to.

"Candles by Hey Monday" Blaine said, trying to pretend that he actually cares about the song.

"I'm impressed! You're usually so Top 40," Kurt started imagining both of them dueting on that large stage in front of the hundreds of viewers, thinking how amazing it could be, but something even bigger crawled into his mind at that time.

"Well, I wanted something a little more emotional"

I'm getting close to it. Blaine thought. It's going to happen as soon as my mouth will start moving faster than my mind.

"Why did you pick me to sing that song with?" Both men's heart's started raging and pulsing. Kurt knew that he didn't ask the question innocently and that Blaine's now sitting too close to him to give up.

Now's the time. Blaine sighed and closed his eyes, trying to turn off the doubts that lingered in him.

"Kurt, there is a moment when you say to yourself, oh there you are, I've been looking for you forever"

He's realizing, he's realizing. Blaine's heartbeat said with every stroke. He took Kurt's hand and placed it under his.

"Watching you do blackbird this week, that was a moment for me, about you"

He's letting out a little smile! He wants it too! I hope I'm right this time. Blaine thought

"You move me Kurt, singing this duet would just be an excuse to spend more time with you"

Blaine, I've never seen you so romantic before, you're talking about me like I'm the only person that matters in the world. You're on the verge of crying just because of what I mean to you. I want this, yes. I knew all the time that I was meant for you

I'm panting so heavily I'm almost suffocating, but that's 'it'. Blaine approached Kurt's lips as if they were his air supply.

So this is how it must feel to be tenderly kissed, my life were worth living just to remain here and absorb you with all my senses. Kurt thought while his lips were calming Blaine's, helping him to shed all his pressure.

Air.

"We…we should practice" Kurt thought that Blaine blushed like a little boy who got caught in act and he wanted to fix that impression.

"I thought we were" he still gasped but was ready for more.

Again, the feeling that all of his senses are merging into one little spot containing the entire world in it, and that everything else is so small that it doesn't really matter.

The sensation that nothing in the world can make him feel this way except for Blaine.

"So...um, do you want to work on the song?" Blaine suggested again.

I want this to never end. Kurt thought and then said "sure, let's think about how were splitting the song..."

"Oh, sure..umm.. split it how you like, but I want you to do the opening sentence"

"Why?" he asked curious

"Because you can actually sing it in the original key" he said in a tone of 'isn't it obvious?'

"I'm not going to sing it in the original key! It will be ridiculous; I'd sound like a girl"

"You're right" I wasn't really paying attention to what I'm saying, I was only thinking about how my mouth is warm from your kissing.

"Yes. And YOU won't be able to sing it at all" he jeered "I suggest lowering it at least two or two and half tones down. Want to start?"

"Sure, just a sec. I want to check that it's real" he said and kissed Kurt again.

Neither one of them wanted to let go, because it was exactly what Blaine longed for and it was precisely what Burt described to his son a few weeks ago; it meant something, something so strong that if it could last for a week, it would be enough for a lifetime of happiness.

"I'm still here" Blaine whispered more to himself than to Kurt and petted Kurt's cheek as he let go of his mouth "let's finish singing and then we'll make out as much as you want" he explained slowly and romantically.

Kurt held Blaine's palm between his hands "Touching you makes me feel so warm inside."

"Just wait and see, romance boy, it only gets better," he whispered in his ear, making Kurt shiver in excitement.

***

The doorbell rang.
"Kurt! Did you invite someone over?" Burt yelled from the living room

"Yes dad! I'll be down in a minute!" Kurt called back. He brushed his hair one last time and ran to the stairs.

"Who did you invite home in such a late hour, Kurt?" Burt said distrustfully.

"Just a friend dad. Don't be so harsh on me!"

"That Blaine again?" Burt guessed and Kurt's first thought was 'When should I tell him about Blaine? I need to prepare him for this'

Kurt opened the door "Hi Thomas come in! Meet my dad" He closed the door and followed Thomas into the living room "Dad this is Thomas, he's our neighbour"

Burt gave him the look of 'are you together?' and Kurt quickly shook his head embarrassed and took him upstairs. On his way up Kurt thought that Thomas looked different; sulky and stressed. Like he didn't catch enough rest.

"Well, um this is my room," Kurt opened the door to show him "but it's really boring here, want to go upstairs? we can sit on the roof… Yeah, I know it sounds dangerous. But it's not really" he joked.

"That's ok, I'm fine with that"

They both climbed up to the attic and took the ladder leading to the roof.

Kurt sat on the top of the trap door they climbed through, and motioned Thomas to do the same.

"Come on! I can't hold the pressure anymore. What happened?"

"She called me" he rubbed a hand on his beard bristles and continued "she told me that she wants to meet me and… talk. I lingered a bit on the line, unsure what should I say. I mean, the last time we talked before that she hysterically yelled that she hates me and that I've caused her to lose trust in people"

Kurt nodded as he continued "I asked her if she still believes that I've cheated on her and she thought for a bit and started spilling everything." While Thomas talked, Kurt imagined the whole scenario:

"Thomas" Tracy sighed into the phone. She was alone at her parents' house with all her luggage still in crates and suitcases "Martha was my best friend since we were like, four. I've never doubted anything she has ever said to me and I was sure she was right about us too" she said in an apologizing tone, trying to appease Thomas "We were trying to move on with our relationship too quickly. Of course I wanted that too, I was in favor of living together, but I did regret later paying the price." She opened one crate that contained books and pulled it to her old room to place it back on her bookshelf. "What do you mean? Regretted what??" Thomas did a special effort to keep calm and gentle because he could hear in her tone that she wanted to burst in tears.

"Ever since we were in high school we've always planned to go to college together and live in the same dorms, you know?" She noticed the dust that piled up everywhere in her room and started cleaning it off with her bare fingers before placing the books "I knew that if you're planning to move to New York and study there for seven years, I'll probably have to...break the bond I have with her"

"So it's my fault" Thomas turned off the T.V in his living room and leaned back on the long couch "I was taking our relationship too seriously and it was a mistake...to move  like that...when my words regarding New York were the last thing you wanted to hear...but why didn't you say anything?" It was early in the morning and Thomas had to get dressed for work, but he couldn't do anything else as long as that conversation is still on.
"Look, I wish things were that simple, let's just meet and talk about everything? I'm pretty sure you're mad at me for everything and you have the right to do so, but please let's just see each other one more time before I'm making my decision if I'm staying in Ohio or not" she returned to the kitchen and prepared herself a bowl of cereal and milk. "It's O.K by me if you think that everything's my fault, but...I want to explain everything to you before you tell me that you never want to see me again" Thomas was still very confused, and he was far from being that peremptory to 'burn the bridges' between them, even though, he thought to himself, she had the nerve to do it to me.

"Fine" he was too exhausted to continue discussing that and was also about to be late for work. He and Tracy appointed to meet that afternoon in Hoover park, just near her parents apartment.

"And what happened afterwards?" Kurt asked, still immersed in the envisioning of the ex-couple.

"I had a terrible day at work, I couldn't concentrate at all and made stupid mistakes. Got the boss yelling at me after just one hour" Kurt saw he said that with relief, like he's all over that, and was pleased to see that he had grown stronger.

Thomas continued while they were still in the exact same position, only Kurt was looking down at the trapdoor and Thomas was looking at the stars "We walked around the lake and talked, and she told me that she hates New York, and she wants to go to college somewhere closer to home. It's totally impossible for me to go to medical school elsewhere"

Kurt started looking at the stars too "I think she couldn't find the right time to tell you. And she feared your reaction to that...might look like she doesn't support you. Sometimes happiness collides with what you want, and there's nothing to do about it but compromising"
"Why can't she learn to be a teacher in New York?" He mumbled to himself.

"Because she didn't want to break the bond with Martha?" Kurt suggested.

"I'm not sure it has something to do with Martha, they are not talking with each other anymore, you know?"

"Martha had a...secret reason for wanting to live together with Tracy. After 17 years… she developed an interest towards her"

"Oh! I see! She wanted her for herself!" Kurt finally felt like the puzzle was complete.
"She's loved her since high school, and she still does" he said with compassion, feeling sorry for her more than worried.

"It wasn't exactly the friendly thing to do, to lie about me in order to convince Tracy that she's an option too, but she 'had to know', had to hear from her that it could never happen."
"So how did she react?" he asked in a bubbly tone.

"In the beginning Tracy didn't want to tell me about it, but when she explained all that to me I knew that something must have happened"

"They hooked up right after she broke up with you?"

"N-No! Not right after.. I mean, they went to the pool together every morning, had lunch every day and went to sleep in the same room, I'm guessing that one night she found herself being touched by her 'friend' that wants to be everything but friends!"

"You don't sound too frustrated about it" Kurt smiled.

"I don't know what to think, but it could have been worse. At least now Martha won't ask herself every morning 'what if?' what if Tracy IS like me?"

"So Tracy left her?"

"Well, yeah. She finally understood that she can't fully trust Martha or believe to everything she says. She packed up all her stuff and called me"

"So..." Kurt sustained the last vowel. "Are you getting back together?" he said with excitement.

"I liked the old Tracy" he said while looking down to his shoes "the one that didn't yell at me like I'm a criminal, so I don't know yet...and now we want different things so.."

"You really should decide about it together, I mean, if you're still thinking of getting back together. I thought you were pretty serious." Kurt raised his eyebrows to stress his point. "Maybe you can make a list of all your plans and goals and see on what you can compromise" he looked into his eyes, trying to grasp his reaction.

"You mean that if she doesn't move to New York with me then it's… over?" he hesitated over the word 'over', like saying it might make it come true.

"I suppose. Long distance relationships just lead to cheating so save yourself the bother" he smiled.

"Maybe we need more time alone," he thought about it "what about you and Blaine?"

"We kissed!" Kurt said exuberantly, his eyes gleaming with joy.

"What? When? How come you're not telling me something huge like that?" he resented.

"Because it was today! He just came up with a combination of the most romantic words that made him absolutely irresistible" Kurt licked his lips.

"I'm so happy for you!" he said while still being confused.

"If you still love Tracy, be romantic and gentle with her. Don't be too harsh with her 'cause girls are very sensitive about cheating and all that. Try to understand her!" he snickered, changing completely the gloomy mood of their conversation.

"Thanks for the tip, I want to see things from her point of view, but I really can't. We'll need to have this talk tomorrow and decide if we're going on our separate ways..."

"You should!"

Kurt changed the subjects: "Want to see pictures of me and Blaine?" he opened his cellphone and started browsing it. He blushed and apologized as he had shown him something he didn't mean to "We did a video of our kiss". "Oh, here. That's Blaine" he let him hold the phone and examine him "looks like a great guy"

"He is" Kurt said with the serenity saved only for those who were lit up by their true soul mates. And yet, he knew that perfect pieces of life like this one don't last forever. Kurt was definitely standing on guard, all the time, to destroy even the smallest thing that would try to separate him from Blaine's warmth. He wanted to believe in love for eternity, even though he never knew of such a thing outside fairytales.

***

***
It was obvious for them both that their first actual date is going to be at The Lima Bean. Blaine ordered an apple cider and Kurt chose a cup of tea. They sat down one in front of the other, holding hands over the table and waiting for their drinks to cool a bit. Kurt felt the freedom beating inside him and unexpected warmth filling his lungs.

'that's how it feels when everything…' he started thinking to himself when Blaine broke their silent smiles with the exact same thought:
"Finally something feels right here" He exclaimed and Kurt nodded in agreement.

"Maybe we just had to wait for the right moment for it to happen for us?"

"Probably," Blaine conceded "but I've been telling you all along that you're perfect to me" he played with his teaspoon with the little slices of apple and ate them one at a time.

"And I'm still waiting for you to tell me about all your other adventures..." Kurt leaned forwards curiously.

"Why is it so important for you to know?" Blaine retorted back.

"I want to know everything about you, to understand you better"

"Fair enough, but don't you think I should be hearing some of YOUR silly life stories too?" Blaine raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't have to be about other men! Just...something about you"

"Well, there was this one time that I bought a special edition Marc Jacobs coat for  2,000 bucks using my dad's credit card and-" Kurt tried to make it sound like a naughty act.

"That's…a different type of crazy" Blaine interrupted "this doesn't count. Don't you have anything…serious?" he tried to push Kurt out of the comfort zone.

Kurt leaned his elbows of the table "Come closer!" he said in a mysterious tone "You know I've actually had a pretty..adventurelss life …but I can tell you about one time in my life where I dared to do something insane.. I mean...it can't really compare to what you've probably done-"

"Ok, tell me already!" Blaine was confused and excited and finished his cider in two sips.
Kurt tried to talk, but the words refused to come out. He decided to move even closer to Blaine, taking the chair with him "just don't tell anyone about this...I mean.. NO ONE knows about this"

"I won't!" Blaine indicated that he is willing to keep his secret and approached with his ear to Kurt's mouth.

"Not even my dad" Kurt muttered and whispered in his ear "It's one of the most personal things I can possibly tell you so...please.." he lowered his voice and spoke slowly "I have a tattoo that no one knows about"

'What?' Blaine didn't expect that 'How could that be? I saw him in his swimsuit and didn't notice anything-' "Can...I see it?" Blaine asked eagerly, trying to sound calm.
"I promise to show it when we'll be in a more appropriate place" he bestowed Blaine with a tiny smirk that turned him on.

"What kind...?" Blaine kept playing restlessly with his teaspoon. "Is it a picture?"
Kurt shook his head and pulled his own beverage from the far end of the table.
"So?" Blaine kept insisting on more information.

"It's a word" He wasn't sure about telling at first, but now Kurt enjoyed taunting his boyfriend like that, placing his hands on different body parts and letting Blaine's imagination go crazy.

***

It took them a few days to get used to being together, to call each other nicknames, and at some point regionals seemed like a dim meaningless memory that's so small next to their first kiss.

"Do you know how to make Ravioli?" Kurt asked as he let Blaine into his house and closed the door.

"No idea" he said frankly and hanged his blazer on the coat rack.

"Great then, I'll teach you" he grinned and took out from the fridge four eggs "We'll start with the dough"

"I'll be back in a minute," Blaine walked towards the corridor "just have to go to the bathroom"

"The door to the right" Kurt pointed it for him.

Kurt took out the flour from the cabinet, oil and salt from the shelf and a glass of measuring. He poured everything to a bowl and started mixing it. After a few minutes he called him: "Blaine! You're missing out all the fun!"

"I'm coming!" his voice echoed in the small room.

'I can't believe that I miss him when he's only in the next room, what's wrong with me?' he thought while putting the egg shells in the trash.

Blaine opened the bathroom door and joined him. Blaine seemed impressed as he gazed at Kurt preparing the ingredients.

"When I'm content, I usually cook to express how I feel" he explained.

"Wow! That means we're in for something delicious, did I make you that content?" he teased him.

"Might be," he shrugged and stirred the bowl for the last time "now let's make the filling" he put the unprepared dough in the fridge.

"Are you ok with Spinach and Ricotta? What do you like inside?" Kurt inquired.
Blaine had no idea. "I have to admit I've never tried it before, but yeah, sure! Let's go for it!" he kept staring curiously at Kurt's cooking.

"Go take out the cheese from the fridge, I'll bring the nutmegs"

"Sure" Blaine picked up ricotta and mozzarella, and cut a piece from each to place in the plate while Kurt climbed up to reach the highest shelf with the nuts.

After the filling was ready, they had to wait another fifty minutes for the dough to be ready.

Both of them washed their hands and then Kurt invited his boyfriend to sit with him in the living room.

"So...do you like cooking...in general?" he asked just to break the awkward silence when they sat on the couch with their knees touching.

"Yup, especially when you're the chef" Blaine petted his hair softly.

Kurt leaned on Blaine's shoulder "Do you think it's a good thing that every time you're coming closer to me, I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack?" he had to be honest with him or Blaine would have noticed it himself.

"I don't know, sometimes your heart beats so loud, I can hear it better than my own" Blaine gently touched Kurt's nose with his, trying to reach his mouth from there, and Kurt gave in. He moved slowly on Blaine's lips, taking time to feel how soft and perfect it was. For a moment there, they both felt more than just connected, they were two lips converted into one human being.

Kurt detached himself and moved his head to lie on Blaine's knees and then looked up "What do you want to do now?"

"Be with you" he leaned forward and looked in his eyes.

"Well, it's not such a bad idea to just stay here like this" he turned on his side, facing Blaine's belly. Blaine took advantage of this position and gently touched Kurt's hair and then he started caressing it slowly.

A few minutes later something in the mood changed. If Kurt could choose never to bring this subject up, he would have done it, but he didn't have any choice. "Can I tell you something? But only If you promise you won't be angry at me" Kurt wasn't sure about bringing that up at all right now, it could spoil their romantic dinner.

"What is it?" Blaine sounded worried.

"I'm officially moving back to McKinley next term."

"What?" Blaine's expression was frozen, he knew Kurt was thinking about it, but he never thought that it's really going to happen.

'Why didn't he consult with me first? Or at least let me know that he wants to go back?'
Kurt tried to explain "Karofsky promised to leave me alone as long as I'll keep his secret, something weird with Santana blackmailing him…" Kurt looked at Blaine's eye, right above his and added "You don't sound too keen about it, and I understand why..." he lowered back his head as if he's apologizing for choosing this.

"I...I'm just surprised. That's all… that's great news" He tried to fake it.

"You don't want me to leave, do you?" he leaned his head on Blaine's belly and heard how heavy his breath became, it was like he's struggling inside himself with with his feelings.
"I feel like crying" Blaine's tone has changed. "I was counting on you to lead the upcoming projects of the Warblers. Next year, Wes, Thad and David won't be there to lead our club and I hoped it would be you and me, council members..." Blaine shifted his position on the couch, moving Kurt to sit next to him.

"Sorry for destroying that dream of yours... I just… I feel so terrible now. It probably looks like I'm moving from the loser's team to the winner's"

They both sank in silence again. Blaine tried to arrange his thoughts. He wanted to support his boyfriend's decision, but was still thinking of how to convince him back in Dalton.
He had no choice but to encourage him even if he hated the idea of him leaving "You're not doing it because you want to win... You miss your old friends, I just... what's gonna happen with us?"

Kurt sighed. "I..I know I'm disappointing you now and I've totally ruined the romantic mood" He took Blaine's two hands and tried to retrieve the ambience from before.
"A little bit" Blaine shrugged

"I mean, it's not like we're never gonna see each other again" he tried to cheer them both up although he was still feeling worse every second.
"We'll see each other, but not every day" Blaine said in a whisper.
"That's true," he sighed "and I haven't spent a day without you for a long time" he moved back up to place his head on Blaine's shoulder. Blaine tilted his head as well "it's gonna be tough"

Blaine got up and stretched himself "I'm not sure if I'm mad at you or just disappointed, but I just…" he turned around in the room, trying to find himself. "I kind of can't find the words, maybe I'll just…" he put on his hipster glasses, took his blazer back from the coat rack "just say it in another way" he prepared his voice from afar and started singing for him, still standing confused near the door.

"What is this feeling, so sudden and new?" he had to let his anger out somehow "I felt the moment I laid eyes on you." He pointed at Kurt. "My pulse is rushing, my head is reeling, my face is flushing, what is THIS feeling" He slowed down, giving Kurt time to join in.

"Fervid as a flame, does it have a name? Yes! Yes! " they combined their voices together, while Kurt taking the higher part in the duet.

"Loathing! Unadulterated loathing! For your face, your voice, your clothing" Blaine let the fact that he's going to be far from Kurt most of the week nourish the harsh words, while he was still keeping a small grin on his face, to show Kurt that there's nothing strong enough to change how he really feels for him.

"Let's just say - I loathe it all!" Blaine imagined Kurt back in McKinley and him back in Dalton. He'll have friends there, but it would never be the same.

"Every little trait, however small makes my very flesh begin to crawl with simple utter loathing" Kurt joined in naturally in the song. There were a few frustrating things he wanted to sing about. Kurt was sure relieved he's leaving Dalton. Aside from Blaine, he didn't have any friends there and he felt like the only reason people interact with him is because Blaine's there too.

"There's a strange exhilaration in such total detestation It's so pure, so strong!"

'I love how his eyes gleam and glitter when he's passionate about something' Blaine thought.
At the same time Kurt thought about Blaine's singing lips, uttering one word after the other. 'I want to take a picture of his smile and hang over my bed…. who am I kidding?! I want to hang it in my mind, to pull out whenever I need it - just like opening a drawer.'

"Though I do admit it came on fast still I do believe that it can last
And I will be loathing, loathing you my whole life long!" Kurt thought to himself that only a couple who's so in love could have acted out such passionate hatred in the song. Apparently most of the anger comes from the fact that Blaine cares for him that much. He could feel Blaine's energy reaching inside into him, detaching him from a whole human being, to pieces of incompleteness that only he can perfect.

They're so close now. Kurt's waist touching Blaine's, their shoulders sensing the other man's warmth. The last line of the song was not just a strong line, it's a statement, and when Blaine belted 'my whole life long' he really felt it. He wanted Kurt close to him like that, until the very last day of his life.

Blaine lied back on the couch and before he knew it Kurt was lying right on him, "my whole life long" he repeated the line and tugged him into a hug, Blaine responded with a soft kiss, but this time Kurt was much more than warm, he felt like Blaine's burning all his senses with his passion.

He realized that even though the song softened him a bit, Blaine was still very vulnerable. Kurt started thinking to himself that he made a stupid choice. Who cares about other people in Dalton? And it wasn't that bad to see Rachel and Mercedes after school, big deal, they're not that important as Blaine. But he chose to leave Blaine there and now he has to stand up for what he has decided.

When Kurt returned to McKinley he remembered why he wanted to leave so bad. The situation with Karofsky was far from being over