It's a warm Sunday. Kurt just woke up and turned the curtains aside: families walked happily on the street, three kids that passed by were eating ice cream and laughing, even the birds didn't mind singing.

Still, Kurt felt like staying at home, stretching the perfectness of the day a little longer.

He was looking for something that he himself wasn't so sure what it was but he still kept passing between rooms searching for it.

'Oh, Finn's room' he peeked through the keyhole and saw that he was still asleep. 'I've gotta stop with this habit of peeking, it can turn out pretty bad' he ran up the stairs to the attic.

The only room that Carol allowed to be left messy…

High bookshelves loaded with books and statues were gathering dust, folded carpets that had no use right now, old board games and the thing Kurt was unknowingly looking for – an easel and a color palette.

He decided to take them down to his room because it was too hot to work in the attic.

He put down the easel between his bed and his closet, locked the door and set his imagination free.

Kurt hadn't painted for a long time, so he slowly tried to remember the techniques that he once learned.

The first three Layers were just a mess, colors from all kinds that had no connection and didn't make a picture, but on the third he started drawing some dim lines of black and brown.

Each smear he did with his paintbrush felt as if the whole room is gaining its colors, he continued to connect the lines without planning into details, letting himself to dive in.

A second Kurt appeared from inside the painting, just as he wanted, but the drawing was much happier than its creator.

He drew himself in a black ballet body stocking with fabric shoes and a tie. He tried to draw a teacher standing behind him and helping him to grasp his right feet with his hand but the teacher really looked Blainish, with deep powerful eyes, smooth hair and a tiny heart melting smile.

At first he wanted to delete the teacher figure, making a white background instead, but he couldn't.

"Kurt! Can you come here for a sec?" his father yelled from downstairs.

Kurt opened the door and leaned forward "Just a second Dad!"

Instead of redrawing, he hid the painting inside his large closet hoping that the colors will be dried on the canvas.

He took off his pajamas and wore short pants for the first time this year.

While he went down the stairs he could smell the breakfast that Carol made.

Finn was there too, sitting at the dining table, finishing his scrambled egg.
'How long was I locked up there?'

"Hi Kurt" Finn greeted him as he took his plate into the sink "gotta run" he grasped his bag and opened the door "see you later"

"Kurt, it 12 am, are you sure you don't want to eat something before lunch?" Burt asked worryingly.

"I'll make myself a peanut butter sandwich, is that the reason you've called me?" he seemed a bit confused.

"You know exactly what I wanted to talk to you about" he said while Kurt took the peanut butter jar from a shelf and spread it on two pieces of Toasted bread.

"If it's another one of "the talks" I'm leaving" he said while pointing the smeared knife at his dad as a joke.

"No, it's not" Burt smiled humbly "Sit down. There are two things I need to ask you"

Kurt pulled a chair while Burt put the breakfast leftovers in the fridge and joined him.

"First thing you should know. Or maybe you already do know" he corrected himself. "Blaine was here last night. He asked me if you're home-"

"Oh" Kurt didn't know what to say.

"-While he was holding a bouquet of red roses that he was planning to give you"

Kurt Blushed "That's…" he sighed "that sounds serious" he leaned back on his chair, still examining the situation, considering what's the right thing to say.

"I can see you're a bit surprised" Burt set loose a little smile "You don't feel the same way for him?"

"I..I don't know" Kurt wasn't able to tell his father the truth, the pictures of Blaine clutching another man were still tangled deep in his head, attached in too many ties with other events of the last few weeks.

"I understand that you're a bit confused about him since you're sort of best friends in school, but maybe it's best to talk with him and explain how you feel"

'What can I tell him? That he broke my heart?' Kurt thought to himself. 'I can't believe he's trying to buy me back with red roses…he knows me too well to conquer my soul, and he'll succeed sooner or later'

"Kurt? Are you listening to me?" Burt raised his voice to penetrate into Kurt's thoughts.

As Burt gazed at Kurt's gloomy eyes, he felt that something's definitely wrong here, but Kurt wouldn't be the one to talk to him about it.

'It looks like he's holding up his eyes from pouring up here' Burt admitted to himself while thinking of a way to cheer up the boy.

"O.K , now let's talk about something nice" he said, still staring at Kurt's eye, trying to follow them to get to his thoughts. "We're throwing a surprise party for Finn's birthday on Sunday, and we need your help"

"I thought his birthday is on Wednesday" Kurt muttered.

"Exactly, that will be the surprise"

Kurt raised his head from the table with contentment "you want me to organize the decorations?" his eyes glittered.

"You said it, I was hoping you and Carol could go today to do all the shopping, And I'm relying on you that you'll do all the phone calls to his friends from that school club of his"

"Sure, I'll take care of everything!" he giggled shyly while tearing up a piece of paper and making a to-do list: people ,food, accessorize, activities..

'I'll make something epic.'

****

Mark, I hate doing this through a text message but you're not answering the phone, I have to

'No, it's too cruel to break up with someone on SMS, even for me..' he thought and deleted the whole bundle of words

'I'll call him one last time' he decided, but again no answer. Blaine cleared his throat and forced himself to leave a message.

"Hi, you're not answering your phone" he tried to sound as usual, not giving in that something's wrong. "So… I just wanted to tell you that we need to talk. Please call me back"

One last phone call to make: the hardest one. Blaine really didn't want to do it on the phone, but he knew that meeting him will only make things worse.

"Hi, Paul!" he said in his regular perky tone

"Hey, Blaine, what's going on?" he asked.

"Nothing special. How was your weekend?" Blaine wanted the breakup to be as easy as possible, and he was still considering the words he should use.

"You mean how was the pool party that you were supposed to be in yesterday? Because it was quite boring without you, I admit it" Blaine could hear him sigh.

"Paul, I want to ask you as a.. a good friend of yours, are you seeing other men?"

"Why? Are you in for serious commitment and all that other bullshit?" he sounded annoyed.
"No, I mean…not exactly. I..I like you Paul, very much, but I'm not sure where this is going.." he said with all the hesitation he could muster.

"Well, you can have doubts, I guess… It's O.K, just answer me this one question, or maybe actually two: one, are you having a good time with me? And the second, do you think I'm good in bed?" he paused, giving Blaine time to think about it.

"If you'd asked me, I would have answered yes for both of them. I love you" Paul whispered.

"I..I.." this is going to be harder than he expected.

"O.K Paul, I'll just have to spill out the truth. I do have a great time hanging out with you, all those nights when we were walking around drunk in the middle of the night with no purpose..." The memory flashed in his head, wounding him.

"And I think we have a unique chemistry in bed, even though with every men it's different somehow, you were special to me, and I was dazed by the way you made me feel each time" Blaine lowered his voice, trying to prevent himself from breaking. "But we both know that it has nothing to do with…love"

"You're in love with someone else? Because I don't mind if want to be with someone else too. We're both sharing ourselves, you know.."

"Yes, I know. But I fell for someone who's so tender and sweet, that I have to dedicate myself only to him…"

Awkward silence "I'm sorry."

"I see, just so you know, for you it might not have been true love, but for me, it was" Blaine didn't want to believe that.

"Paul, you are seeing men other than me, do you feel true love with them too?"

Blaine knew he was right, but it didn't make the situation better, Paul hung up.

'If only a person could know whether he's doing the right thing or not. That's the real problem, there is no "right thing", nothing's right for all of us'

He lied back on his bed, thinking about the other men he's been with: did any of them had feelings for him? What kind of feeling is it when you can as easily be replaced with another?

***

Dear Diary,

Today's the big day!

In the last few days I've learned that the best way to overcome my feelings is to help someone else. I think that Finn will be very pleased when he'll see all the time and efforts me and Carol put into this.

We decided to celebrate in our house, while my Dad and Carol will go to the theater, I've already invited everyone from glee club and arranged some nice party games just in case. The Karaoke never fails, since you know, they're a glee club.

I also had some amazing "bonding time" with Carol when we bought the food and some other decorations, I've never imagined that shopping with her could work out, she actually believes in shopping for fun.

A message flashed on Kurt's computer screen while he was still writing.

'It's Thomas' he glanced at the message.

"Are you here?" he wrote.

"Yes, what's going on?" Kurt replied and read what he wrote in his Diary while waiting for Thomas to respond.

"I just found out the truth about Tracy, wanna come over and hear?"

Kurt didn't really feel like leaving his room right now and was thinking about refusing.

The screen flashed again.

"Maybe you could give me some advice and you'll tell me what's going on with you"

Kurt glanced at his watch, it was 6:40pm, Finn's surprise Party is at 8:30.

"I'm a bit busy today, but you're lucky that you live near me and that I'm curious what's going on with you too!"

"I'm making coffee for myself, do you want one too?" he wrote, but Kurt was already on his way down the stairs.

No one was in the house right now. He locked the door from the outside and crossed the road.

After knocking twice he realized that Thomas left the door open for him.

'The apartment still messy' it was like revisiting the memory of day he met him.

"Kurt! Make yourself at home, I'm coming right away! Sit on one of the couches"

Kurt removed the dirty clothes from the couch to the coffee table and sat down.

Thomas gave Kurt his Mug of coffee and sat on the other couch without moving the mess that was on it.

"You know, our hangout two days ago made me feel so relieved. It was like, three hours without thinking about Tracy and the engagement and everything. Except for the part you were acting strange and you didn't want to explain yourself, well I'm waiting. Pour it boy"

"No, we don't have much time today, first you tell me what happened with your ex-girlfriend!" he said with excitement and took a sip from his coffee, it was sweeter than he expected.

"Okay, but we're not done with you" he warned him.

"Since, of course, Tracy didn't want to tell me herself her reasons for blowing up our almost-engagement, I asked a few common friends of ours to help me find out what happened, and today one of them called me." He placed his empty cup on the table.

"And?"

"Most stupid reason ever, believe me. Her best friend told her that I'm cheating on her"

"Is it the one she's staying at her place right now?" Kurt remembered their last chat about it.

"Yes, that annoying bitch. Apparently she found out that I want to propose to Tracy and she decided to blow it all up" Thomas played with his fingers, emphasizing his stress.

"Are you most positively sure you didn't cheat on her? That might include any interaction with another girl, that her friend might interpret as cheating" Kurt explained.

"That really doesn't make sense! I see girls all the time at work, I can't avoid them, and I don't want to" he yelled "I don't want to get back with her anyway. It's too late now. I'm just curious why does her friend hates me so much that she decides to lie and ruin my life"

"You're a great guy. If Tracy doesn't realizes that herself, and she rather believe her friend then you should probably move on" Kurt suggested and checked his clock, it was 7:15.

"That's O.K Kurt, there is no one ultimate solution for all of this, I just wanted to share, that's all" he leaned back on the couch.

"Now the hug thing, did you see the guy you love that day? Do tell" he demanded.

"Well, apparently he was following us the whole time, and I wanted him.." Kurt stopped and tried to clarify it for himself "I wanted to prove him something'' Kurt admitted.

Kurt didn't want to get into more details than that. He got up and turned towards the door.

"I really have to go now, I don't wanna be late. Be sure to keep me posted with any news from her" he turned the key to open the entrance door.

"Sure, thanks for coming! It was really nice having you around, we'll stay in touch!" Thomas waved goodbye as he picked the coffee mugs to the kitchen.

"Bye Thomas!"

"Goodbye Kurt, have fun!"

As Kurt stepped into the lawn of his house and searched for his house keys he saw his cellphone glowing 'Another message from Blaine'

'Are you here?' the message read. Kurt said to himself that he'll answer him later, but he never did.

***

Tina, Artie and Mike arrived first. They had promised that they'll be here early to help him organize.

They started by moving the dining table out of the way, so they'll have more free space, while Tina brought five more chairs from the second floor into the living room.

The three guests started inflating balloons and argued if they should hang them up while Rachel arrived and started giving everyone commands.

"That's O.K Rachel, we're already done with the decorations" Kurt lied "but I can really use your help in the kitchen" he said and dragged her far from the others.

"We have here five kinds of pizzas and only one oven to bake them. If you want to help, put two of them in each time and make sure that you don't burn them" he said and ran outside the kitchen to help the others.

When he came back, Sam was already in his living room, checking the book shelves that were there and Tina was greeting Mercedes at the door.

The girls hugged tightly and then both of them went to help the boys with the balloons.

The realization suddenly fell on Kurt, he missed the glee club, true, he stayed in touch with most of the girls, and he had Finn's singing on a daily basis while he was showering, but it was still very different.

He thought to himself that the reason may be that in Glee he felt more like a team player, and in Dalton he's still kind of "the new guy" that needs to find his place.

Kurt felt a heartwarming emotion grasping him when he saw that there was a huge pile of presents covering up his own gift for Finn.

'I wonder how Finn will feel about it' he was excited than ever but mostly proud of himself that he organized the whole deal.

The time flew when Kurt was busy talking to his old school friends. Kurt noticed in his watch that Finn should arrive any minute with the rest of the gang that had to drag him back home with a lame excuse.

It was all perfectly coordinated and when he turned off the lights everyone waited for Finn's entrance to yell surprise for him.

Kurt noticed that his step brother looked pretty stunned when everyone hugged him and wished him a happy birthday.

Quinn, Puck, Santana and Brittany were all standing behind Finn, waiting for him to enter, and then ran towards the food like everybody else.

The hours passed so fast, and around midnight Kurt's parents entered silently, without disturbing the Karaoke marathon, waving to everyone and then going upstairs to their bedroom.

***

"Kurt!" Finn called him while he was pouring himself a drink.

"Thanks for setting everything up, I know you did most of the work here, and was really an awesome surprise" Kurt was smiling, happy to know that his efforts were truly appreciated.

"Listen" Finn approached Kurt's ear and whispered "I thought you should know that I just saw Blaine outside our house"

"What?" Kurt said in a voice faint than a whisper. He knew he should have answered his message.

He closed his eyes worryingly because he really didn't want to deal with this issue right now, when he was exhausted from all the arrangements he made today.

"Kurt" Finn continued "He's freezing outside, don't you think we should let him in?"

"Do you want him in your party?" Kurt asked in a defiant tone.

"I don't know, it's kind of the end of it" Finn looked around him : Tina, Mercedes, Artie, Mike and Sam already left, Rachel was still looking for a Barbra Streisand song in the Karaoke Program, Brittany and Santana fell asleep on each other, and Quinn and Puck were immersed in a quiet conversation.

A loud voice brought Finn back from his thoughts "Do what you want, Finn, it's your party" Kurt sent him a reluctant gaze and went up the stairs.

Finn decided that it's best to hint everyone that the party is over: He thanked them all separately for coming, and implied that whoever insists to stay will be forced to help clean everything up.

Everyone rushed outside, except for Rachel who hesitated and looked as if she was never planning to leave, but when she saw that Quinn is approaching Finn for a tight hug, she said a weak goodbye and left.

"Do you wanna stay for the night?" Finn suggested to his girlfriend.

"I don't mind" Quinn smiled at him as they went upstairs.

***

Kurt opened his window and looked down: Blaine was definitely there and he was holding a big black object that Kurt couldn't make out in the dark.

It was a different Blaine. Kurt spotted a shy smile that didn't suit the charismatic man he knew at his first day at Dalton, he seemed fragile and truthful, not the Blaine that was consistently happy about everything.

The wind blew fiercely that night and he was forcibly trying to fix a little curl in his hair.

Kurt closed his eyes and laughed 'how things have changed' he thought. Not too long ago, he felt that he should be running after Blaine in order to win his attention but now, Blaine wants him so badly that he is willing to stand outside, in the cold and wait for an invitation from Kurt.

'Or maybe..' another idea spread in Kurt's mind "Maybe he's just looking for the right moment to apologize?'

"Kurt! Kurt!" Blaine yelled recklessly "I knew you'd be in your room" he looked up "I know you're avoiding me, I got it, but I'm still not moving from here until we finally get to talk"

Blaine looked a bit pale at the light of the street lamp, and apparently he took the black weird shape out of its case: a wooden mandolin that he held with both hands.

"It's a bit late, but since you didn't invite me to your party, I'm just gonna stand here and sing something for you" he shivered "I've combined two of your favorite songs"

He started by playing his mandolin and sang softly, like he only wants Kurt to hear him:

"I wish we could talk
About the things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history"

In the chorus he couldn't whisper anymore because he had to belt out the notes, but Kurt had to admit to himself that it enchanted him, he stared reluctantly at Blaine, concealing his confusion.

"The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That's his destiny"

Blaine Pulled on the last "y" syllable and played with his mandolin an instrumental bridge that combined the two songs.

"Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise" he continued lightly like he's inviting Kurt to enter into a dream.

"I must think of a new life
And I mustn't give in"

Blaine continued his serenade while looking into Kurt's bright eyes, as if he's trying to soften him.

"When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin"

"Kurt, I want to be yours" he moved his lips without pronouncing the words, but Kurt understood everything, and held himself from shutting the window right now.

"I love you. Please come here so we can talk" Blaine pleaded with eyes full of regret.

"I'm not sure about this, I just… can't believe you" Kurt answered and tossed himself on the bed, plunging into thoughts.

Blaine's song reached him through the open window, filling his mind with memories of them together from the past and also imaginations and fantasies from their future.

"Burnt out ends of smoky days
The stale cold smell of morning
The streetlamp dies, another night is over
Another day is dawning"

It was inevitable.
Soon enough Kurt found himself running downstairs while the lyrics are still reaching into him in the darkness.

As he opened the door he saw Blaine putting aside the mandolin in its case. Kurt left the door opened and approached him.

"Touch me" Kurt held Blaine's hand, and felt like the entire universe was turning around them, a surge of energy burst into Kurt's body that moment, giving him the ability to truly believe for a second that everything's just perfect.

"It's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun"

Kurt packed up Blaine's mandolin, closed the clasps and picked it up.

At last, since Kurt was standing so close to him, panting, Blaine was able to whisper the ending of the song.

"If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is
Look, a new day. Has begun"

"Come on in" Kurt muttered still holding Blaine's hand and then pulled him inside without waiting for an answer.

They both went upstairs, totally aware of what's going to happen now, but still holding their tongues.

***

Kurt sat down on his bed and motioned for Blaine to do the same

"What do you want?" Kurt sighed.

"Kurt. Has anyone ever told you that you have amazing eyes?"

"Yes. You"

"I'm attracted to you, Kurt" there, he said it right away, leaving him helpless.

Kurt had a lot of dreams about Blaine ever since the day he met him and in all of them Blaine told him that he loves him, could this be another dream?

"Why?" Kurt asked, trying to lead Blaine into a trap.

"I feel like I want to keep you close to me and to protect you" he confessed.

"I don't believe you" Kurt said again, even though he wanted believe him.

"You have such amazing qualities, Blaine, and such strong character. You're charismatic you have hundreds of friends" he stressed out the last word as if he's hinting "Why me?"

"Everything is easy for you, Blaine, too easy to be real"

"Kurt I want you to forgive me for every harmful thing I might have said the other day. I didn't want to hurt your feelings. I know I shouldn't have insisted on such a stupid thing. Please forgive me"

He shut the door so he wouldn't wake up the others and shouted "You still think I'm so damn naïve, huh?" Kurt returned to his place and continued

"Why aren't you telling me the truth about what you really want from me. I have a feeling it's not exactly my personality you're attracted too" Kurt was about to break.

"You better leave Blaine. It was too obvious to you that I was in love with you that you decided to exploit it to your own favor" tear ran down his eye.

"Kurt, I can't believe that's what you make of me. I like you and I'm not pushing you into anything against your own will! If that's what I made you feel then I'm begging you to forget about that."

"You just don't get it Blaine. You forgot yourself what you told me on the first day we met? You said you're a virgin..you lied" he concluded.

Silence.

"I had to…lie" he lowered his voice as if he's very ashamed "I wanted you to like me"

"But you're right. I don't deserve you. Kurt. You were so sincere with me from day one and I just…" he picked up his bag and went towards the door.

"Wait!" Kurt sighed "That's just not fair towards you to end it this way. You've helped me with Karofsky, now it's my chance to support your back, but not as your boyfriend or anything like that" Kurt clarified to Blaine but also to himself, he finally understood that Blaine was much more than a good friend, he was the only one to understand him in his lowest moments of life.
He didn't want to ruin that.

"Come here" Kurt tugged him into a hug "We were best friends, and we can get back to that point, if you can promise me that our friendship will be based on trust" he gave Blaine a serious 'I'm-not-joking' look.

"Well, I'm ready for that. Just tell me what you want to know about me, today I'm not keeping anything from you"