I watched as the drops going at 5 drops per minute fell into the kitchen sink which was 2 1/2 years old. I found it quite relaxing hearing the water droplets drop one after the other with a reasonable gap in between each one. I did that for a while before my best friend Gracie walked into the kitchen, She placed her hand in front of me so I would be the one to hold her hand. I looked up at her and assessed her outfit. She was wearing a light blue dress with 123 white flowers printed all over it, 62 on the back and 61 on the front side of the blue dress. She really did look pretty, I like it when she look's pretty. Cause she is much more confident and she really does glow. When I say she looks pretty I don't mean I would want to date her or anything. She's a girl and I don't like girls the way I should. I like boy's more, even though I find it hard to tell whether they like me back or not. Gracie said that was normal for people to feel this way. Especially after my last relationship.

I had a boyfriend a few months ago, but he's in prison and he did really nasty things to me. Dad say's he wants him dead because of what he did to me. After he was locked away in a prison in Chicago I felt much safer. When everyone at school knew about it they all would bombard me with a load of questions or sympathetic gestures and I would often run away from school and last week my dad decided I was going to move schools so I could have a fresh start. He had signed me onto the list for The William McKinley waiting list and I got in straight away for my above average grades. Everyone tells me I'm smart, and I like it when they say those sorts of things. It makes me happy inside and I tend to feel better throughout the whole day. My favorite subject is Music because I know 1,200 songs off by heart. I play piano as well as sing and can also play the harp to a certain extent and guitar. Dad taught me a bit of piano and I enjoyed when he did that, It was my mum's piano so it reminded me of her when I played. My mum died when I was 8years 5 months and 11 days old, I am now 16 years 10 months and 23 days old. I've missed her since she's died. I loved her and dad, but now Gracie is the only female person in my life right now.

I love Gracie, she has been my best friend for 3 years 7months and 11 days. I always look up to her, even thought I'm 3 months and 14 days older and 2.88 inches taller than her. She teaches me things that people in normal public school don't teach you. She taught me that when people's mouths are turned down at the edges slightly that they are upset about something and that I should ask if they are OK. She also taught me that when the edges of the mouth turn upwards that they are happy. I like it when my dad looks like that, I like it when he smiles. I try and smile sometimes but I don't feel happy so It's pointless trying to smile.

When I woke up in hospital 3 months ago my dad's face was just like it is when you are upset but his face was red and watery. He'd been crying. Gracie told me that crying can sometimes mean complete happiness, laughing too hard, extreme coldness, or the most common; incredibly upset. I've not seen my dad cry since my mum died and her funeral. That was a while ago now and I still feel sad about it. But that, I know is normal. I asked my dad in the hospital why he was upset and he told me that David was in prison because he raped me. He'd been a terrible boyfriend; he would shout at me and not tell me what he felt, which he promised he would do. We promised each other we would tell the other what we were feeling but when he shouted he wouldn't tell me. He would be too busy shouting. The third time he shouted at me for forgetting to check under his pillow for his phone he hit me. He then called me an idiot which I didn't like so I stopped talking to him. That just made him even angrier and he hit me more and more. He would do it every other day for a month. At the end of that month he went to prison. We'd been going out for only 3 month 7 days and 6 hours. He was my first boyfriend and I will never see him again. I know I should be angry at him but I can't be. I can't be angry at his because I don't remember being raped, my dad told my the doctors found different drugs in my system which I had no idea about.

"Hey Kurt, what's wrong?" I heard Gracie ask me. I took her hand slowly from the table and cradled it in my hands.

"Can you be more specific?" I asked her. I didn't know how to answer that question. There wasn't anything at all wrong with me so I was confused

"What do you feel Kurt?" She asked, this time I understood her and kissed her hand making her emit and strange sound.

"I feel nerves, but what was that noise you made?"

"I giggled, It meant I was happy and slightly giddy that you kissed my hand. It was sweet" She smiled and I attempted to smile back because the nerves I felt had disappeared. Gracie giggled again and held out her hand again for me to take, and I did. She dragged me into the hallway and picked up our bags. She was going to this new school with me because she said she could help.

"FINN!" She shouted suddenly and I whipped my head round so fast I heard 4 joints in my neck crack. She only smiled in return and gestured towards Finn who was sat in the 3 year old living room with his $5.99 red earphones in. I listened to the beats and he was listening to Elton John. I didn't know he liked Elton John at all, I'd ask him about it later. After a few more moments Gracie went over to him and yanked the headphones out of his ears. She looked cross but I knew she wouldn't hurt him, she would never hurt a fly.

"Finn we need you to drive me and Kurt to school. It's his first day and all" Gracie explained. Finn nodded in defeat and grabbed his old Adidas bag from behind the door of the cupboard under the stairs.

"Let's go then kiddies!" He exclaimed and I smiled. Gracie whispered something in my ear but I didn't hear so I ignored her. She knows sometimes I don't like whispering so she didn't bother saying whatever it was again.

Once in the dusty car with about 121mph I started to feel the nerves come back. I looked to Gracie for help and she held out her hand. I didn't know when people were scared but she was bloody good at it.

"So Kurt. Um..Burt made me promise not to mention about Karof-David OK? and I promise I won't" He told me and I patted him on the back like I saw him and dad do.

"Thank you Finn"

"No problem"

Nobody talked from then on because I hate it when people are talking in a car where I can hear all the other things going on outside. I like the sound of the engine of the car because it's a low hum and it relaxes me slightly. However I hate the sound of beeping horns and door's slamming shut. If I hear more loud noises I start to get confused. I can hear all these things but I can't make them out at all. Gracie says that I should have at least 2 hours a day alone in my room. My dad noise proof the windows and the walls are extra thick so my brain can shut off at night. Sometimes I can hear people shuffling outside my door but that's OK, because I know that it's either dad, Carol, Gracie or Finn. And I trust them all. It took me a while to trust Carol and Finn but I had to because my dad loved her and I wanted my dad to be happy. Carol is amazing and she understands me just as much as Gracie because she's a nurse at the local hospital. Finn however was a struggle to get a long with. He wasn't aloud to move in because he was unconsciously loud with all his play station games and Xbox marathons with his friends. He had to make a lot of sacrifices for me and that's when I realized he was OK and a great step brother. Even Carol and dad had to sacrifice their dream wedding with a small and short ceremony with only us and Gracie. I love Carol and Finn now, they have done so much for me and I can't believe how they cope but they do, for me.

"Welcome to McKinley Kurt" Finn exclaimed opening my door and pulling me from my thoughts. I didn't even know we stopped until the engine cut out.

Gracie held out my bag and I placed it on my shoulder blade where I knew it wouldn't dig in.

"Kurt can I link my arm with yours?" Gracie asked and I nodded, She looped her arm around mine and I liked it. It took only a few months until I allowed Gracie to make any physical contact with me, now I'm thankful I did. She is so kind with me and It makes me feel like a regular teenage boy when I hold her hand and smile at her. I really do love her.

We walked into the school building and all eyes turned on us, I felt very sick and I knew my face was pale by now. There was so much noise but Gracie had shown me a tip on how to make all of it blend into white noise. It's like when the vacuum is on and you cover your ears with your hands and then take it away. After a while it isn't an annoying loud noise but white noise. I like white noise. I noticed the bulletin board which was full of all these different clubs, but only 3 caught my eye; the cheerios, which was the school cheer leading club. I love athletics because I like to run and I have to keep my shape. One of the others was the boxing club; When I was 10 I felt the bullying became incredibly bad and I didn't know Gracie then. It was only 2months and 42 days after my mum died and I felt nothing but numb and angry. When I started boxing I felt all the anger seep from me into the punches and it was so therapeutic. The last club was called glee club, I knew I had to join some sort of musical club since I knew so much about it. I could play piano perfectly and knew 12,00 songs and all the lyrics. I could also play the harp and guitar. The glee club at my old school stopped because of insignificant funds so the fact they had a glee club that last year came 4th at Nationals is definitely something I would like to do.

Gracie and I walked along the hallway with Finn walking behind us until we came to a sudden halt as soon as we heard a slam of a locker. I was finally back into reality and looked at the small disheveled boy lying in a heap on the dirty ground. His face was blank and didn't show any emotion what so ever so I asked Gracie how he felt.

"He doesn't want to show anyone because he's embarrassed" Gracie whispered, and for once I knew why. I used to get in trouble all the time at school for saying rude things that I didn't know was rude. When Gracie found me she told me everything that I should or shouldn't say. She really was amazing.

"Hello, are you OK?" I asked the boy lying on the floor. He shook his head and started to get up.

"No I'm not. Thank you though" He sighed and reached out his hand "I'm Blaine" He looked at to me and was silent, I knew I was supposed to speak but I didn't want to say something rude. After a while Finn cleared his throat and I turned to face him.

"Blaine, Kurt doesn't touch people he doesn't know. See you in glee though tonight" Finn explained, the boy "Blaine" nodded and went off in the other direction. We stood in silence before I just really needed to know

"Finn, why was he pushed over?" I gushed. I heard Finn sigh and rub the back of his neck, I knew this meant he felt nervous so I said please, cause when I say please he tells me anything I want to know. Gracie told me that, she says he would be so easy to blackmail.

"Kurt, this school has a problem with gay people. They don't like that and treat them badly." Finn explained and I felt my heart drop, but It didn't because that isn't able to happen.

I then saw Blaine come back towards us in a rush but he looked a little different. He was dripping with what seemed to be a drink of some sort, it was bright red and looked sticky and uncomfortable. He grabbed a bag from his locker and pushed open the door labelled 'boy's bathroom'. If that was what happens to the people who are gay in this school I am most definitely not telling anybody. How can I if people will push me and touch me with their hands. No. I can't and won't, no body can force me out of the closet at this school.