Chapter Thirty-Three – Choke

Kurt had been in the auditorium practicing Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Music of the Night” for two hours now. Tina was playing Christine to Kurt’s Phantom; she was exhausted. Her enthusiasm had diminished to next to nothing but she didn’t have the heart to ask Kurt if they could call it a day. He was really nervous about his audition. Artie was there too, helping with the fog effects. Blaine was in the audience, watching Kurt practice. He never tired of watching his boyfriend perform. They finished the song, which in Blaine’s mind was perfection. He jumped to his feet, applauding loudly.

“Fantastic!” he exclaimed. “I loved it!”

“I don’t know,” Kurt said uncertainly. “My entire future is riding on this audition. It has to be absolutely perfect. What if I sequin my cape, or I sing it in German, or if I did it in the nude?”

“What?” Blaine said, trying to fight back a chuckle.

“I’m serious! I’ve always been ahead of the curve and my audition needs to reflect that. It’s too safe, too predictable, too boring. I’m bored!” Kurt was beginning to panic.

“Calm down, baby, breathe. You’re overthinking this,” Blaine told him.

“My foot’s asleep. Can I walk it off?” Tina interrupted them.

"Sure, just don’t go too far,” Kurt said with a wave of his hand. As an afterthought he added, “And thanks.” He turned back to Blaine. “I need to start from scratch. I need something fresh and edgy, something completely unpredictable.” Kurt paused, thinking. “Or maybe I just need more candles.”

“God, no! No more candles,” Blaine said, looking around the stage at the hundred or so candles that were lit.

“It’s useless. I’m never going to be accepted to NYADA,” Kurt said miserably as he sat on the edge of the stage, swinging his legs. Blaine walked up to him, standing in between Kurt’s legs. He took Kurt’s hands in his, squeezing them.

“You are going to be perfect. You’ve spent so much time practicing, you just need a break. Come on, let’s get you home.” Blaine pulled Kurt off of the stage and into his arms. Kurt rested his forehead on Blaine’s shoulder. Blaine held him a while longer before pressing a kiss to Kurt’s hair and taking a step back. “Come on.”

Kurt took Blaine’s hand, allowing him to lead him out to the parking lot. They drove to Kurt’s house, greeting Burt and Carole before heading up the stairs to Kurt’s room. Once in the room, Kurt collapsed onto his bed.

“Are you okay?” Blaine asked.

Kurt felt the mattress dip as Blaine sat beside him. Kurt rolled onto his back, looking up at Blaine.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been so anxious in my life. All of my dreams are riding on this audition,” Kurt said.

“Everything’s going to be okay,” Blaine tried to reassure him.

Kurt pushed himself off the bed, going over to his iHome. He scrolled through his song list before selecting the one he was looking for. He moved back to the bed as he sang.

So far away from knowing where I’m going,

I’m trying hard to find out who I am.

They all say that I don't know what I’m doing.

I say they don't hardly understand.

Kurt was afraid. He didn’t know where life was leading him, where he would end up. Kurt had spent so many years trying to discover who he was, and he still didn’t know. Not knowing where he was going made the search even harder. No one understood. They didn’t seem to think he knew what he was doing. And maybe, he didn’t.

Why can't they remember,

What I'll never forget?

How these dreams can come undone,

When you're young.

Everyone thought Kurt was taking this audition too seriously. They had all forgotten this audition determined whether he was accepted into NYADA or not. If he didn’t make the cut, Kurt’s dreams would collapse.

You give what you give ‘cause they make you,

Trapped inside a place that won't take you.

And they want you to be what they make you.

It's already over and done,

When you're young.

Kurt had never fit in. He had been hoping NYADA was the one place where he would be accepted. No other place wanted him. The only time Kurt had ever been accepted, flaws and all, was in glee club. And now that it was ending, Kurt needed to find a new place to be himself.

Everything seems perfect.

Everything's OK.

It will all get better now.

At least that's what they say.

But I don't see it coming.

Blaine was constantly reassuring Kurt that his audition would be perfect. He said everything would be all right. It was the same thing since he had been diagnosed with depression. Everyone told him things would get better. And just like it had been then, Kurt didn’t see any of those things coming true.

You give what you give ‘cause they make you,

Trapped inside a place that won't take you.

And they want you to be what they make you.

It's already over and done,

When you're young.

Blaine knew Kurt was nervous. He knew how much this audition meant to Kurt. Blaine was afraid the pressure would prove too much and Kurt would relapse again. Each time he tried to reassure Kurt, he was also reassuring himself. He had to have faith in Kurt, no matter what.

Days never seem longer.

They say it's better this way.

I hope one day I am stronger than I feel.

And I hope that it feels different than today.

Kurt felt weak and imperfect. He always strove for perfection, but this audition made that search worse than ever. Blaine always said he was strong and his past proved that. Kurt hoped one day he would feel the same way.

You give what you give ‘cause they make you,

Trapped inside a place that won't take you.

And they want you to be what they make you.

It's already over and done.

It's already over and done.

It's already over and done.

When you're young.

Why can't they remember,

What I'll never forget?

How these dreams can come undone,

When you're young.

Blaine pulled Kurt into his arms, pressing a kiss to his lips. As they broke apart Blaine said, “I wish there was something I could do.”

“So do I,” Kurt replied.

“Boys, dinner!” Burt called from downstairs.

Kurt brushed his lips against Blaine’s once more before pulling him to his feet.

“We better go before Finn eats everything,” Kurt said as he walked towards the door.

“It’s probably too late,” Blaine said, following his boyfriend out the door.

K/B

The next day, Kurt drove home alone. Blaine had driven himself to school that day so he could spend some time with the glee guys in the weight room after school. Between that and homework, Kurt didn’t expect to hear from Blaine until their nightly conversation before bed. Kurt worked on his homework, finishing it just before dinnertime. He ate quickly, anxious to get to back to his room so he could practice some more for his audition.

Kurt worked through the song for several hours. He decided to run through it one last time. Everything flowed smoothly until the end. He sharped the last note. Kurt threw his sheet music into the air. He paced his room, trying to calm his racing mind.  It was useless. His anxiety only increased. Unable to think of other options, Kurt entered his bathroom.

K/B

Blaine settled into his bed after a tiring day. He grabbed his phone off of his nightstand before relaxing against the pillows. He dialed Kurt’s number from memory. Normally, Kurt picked up immediately as this was their nightly ritual. But that night the phone continued to ring until finally Kurt’s voicemail picked up. Blaine sat up in bed. Something was wrong. He frantically dialed Kurt’s number again as he sprinted down the stairs, not stopping to put on a shirt and shoes. Blaine was out the door, keys and wallet in hand, before Kurt’s voicemail could pick up.

Blaine backed his car out of the driveway, speeding down the road to Kurt’s house. His thoughts were racing as he drove. Blaine pulled up in front of Kurt’s house, almost forgetting to cut the engine in his haste. He sprinted up the stairs, letting himself into the house. Burt and Carole had already gone to bed, turning off the lights in the house. Blaine felt his way to the stairs through the darkness, hurrying up to Kurt’s room.

Kurt wasn’t in his bedroom. Blaine immediately started towards his bathroom. The door was closed but a light shone through the crack at the bottom. Blaine twisted the knob, thankful that the door was unlocked. Stepping into the room, Blaine sighed in relief as he caught sight of Kurt. He was sitting on the floor, staring at the razorblade he held in between his thumb and forefinger as he cried. He had yet to hurt himself.

Blaine dropped to his knees by his side, taking the weapon from Kurt. He put it on the counter, pulling Kurt into his arms.

“Blaine?” Kurt sobbed against Blaine’s chest, breathing in his comforting scent.

“Shh, you’re all right, baby. I’ve got you. I’m here now,” Blaine said, pressing a kiss to his hair. He rocked him gently as he began to sing.

Well, I know the feeling,

Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge.

And there ain't no healing

From cutting yourself with the jagged edge.

I'm telling you that, it's never that bad.

Take it from someone who's been where you're at.

Laid out on the floor,

And you're not sure you can take this anymore.

Blaine knew Kurt’s anxiety had been building for several weeks now. But after he had binged so bad the week before, Blaine had hoped Kurt would be able to fight off the urges. Thankfully, Blaine found him in time and was able to stop him. He knew Kurt felt like he was holding on by a thread. Kurt had watched the thread fray until he couldn’t take it anymore.

So just give it one more try to a lullaby,

And turn this up on the radio.

If you can hear me now,

I'm reaching out

To let you know that you're not alone.

And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell,

'Cause I can't get you on the telephone.

So just close your eyes.

Oh, honey here comes a lullaby.

Your very own lullaby.

Tonight, Kurt had chosen to give up. Blaine wished he had kept trying, but he would never say that to Kurt. He didn’t want to make him feel even worse than he already did. Blaine just wished Kurt would hear him when he told him everything would be all right. Kurt wasn’t alone in this, but Blaine couldn’t make Kurt see that.

Please let me take you

Out of the darkness and into the light.

'Cause I have faith in you,

That you're gonna make it through another night.

Stop thinking about the easy way out;

There's no need to go and blow the candle out.

Because you're not done;

You're far too young;

And the best is yet to come.

All Blaine wanted was to show Kurt the light that waited for him outside of the darkness. He knew Kurt could make it through this week without cutting. He had faith in him. But Kurt didn’t have the same faith. Instead of meeting his pain head on, he had decided to take the easy road and use the razor to run away from it all. Blaine wasn’t willing to let Kurt give up. He would get better in time. Blaine wouldn’t watch Kurt lose himself to his illness. Kurt had his entire life before him.

So just give it one more try to a lullaby,

And turn this up on the radio.

If you can hear me now,

I'm reaching out

To let you know that you're not alone.

And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell,

'Cause I can't get you on the telephone.

So just close your eyes.

Oh, honey here comes a lullaby,

Your very own lullaby.

When his phone call had gone unanswered, Blaine knew immediately that something wasn’t right. Fear gripped him like a vice and refused to lessen its hold. Images of Kurt unconscious on the floor in a pool of his own blood haunted Blaine’s vision. Seeing that horrific scene once had changed Blaine forever. He wouldn’t allow it to happen a second time.

Well, everybody's hit the bottom.

Everybody's been forgotten.

Well, everybody's tired of being alone.

Yeah, everybody's been abandoned.

And left a little empty handed.

So if you're out there barely hanging on. . .

Blaine knew Kurt hadn’t been able to withstand his emotions anymore. All too often in his young life, Kurt had felt forgotten, abandoned, and alone. Those emotions haunted Kurt every day. And when those combined with his uncontrollable anxiety, it was too much for Kurt. He couldn’t hold on anymore. He let go.

Just give it one more try to a lullaby,

And turn this up on the radio.

If you can hear me now,

I'm reaching out

To let you know that you're not alone.

And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell,

'Cause I can't get you on the telephone.

So just close your eyes.

Oh, honey here comes a lullaby.

Your very own lullaby.

Oh, honey here comes a lullaby.

Your very own lullaby.

Kurt had relaxed by the time the song was over. That is, he was until Blaine stood up. His eyes widened and his heart pounded in his chest.

“Where are you going? Don’t leave me!” Kurt scrambled to his feet, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s neck and burying his head in his shoulder.

“Relax, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere except to get you into bed. Come on,” Blaine said, guiding Kurt into his bedroom with a hand on the small of his back.

Kurt climbed into bed, watching Blaine with wide eyes. Blaine knew Kurt was waiting for him to leave, but he meant it when he said he wasn’t going anywhere. He slipped under the covers next to Kurt.

“Hold me?” Kurt asked in a small voice.

“Of course, love,” Blaine replied instantly, pressing a kiss to Kurt’s forehead.

Kurt rolled onto his side, only relaxing his tense muscles when Blaine spooned up behind him. Blaine wrapped an arm around Kurt’s chest, pulling him back closer until his back and pressed flush against Blaine’s naked chest. Kurt drew comfort from the feeling of Blaine’s bare skin against Kurt’s own exposed flesh. Kurt linked his fingers through Blaine’s, moving their hands to rest over Kurt’s heart.

“I love you,” Kurt whispered into the darkness.

"I love you too,” Blaine answered.

“Forever?” Kurt asked sleepily, but he wouldn’t succumb to his exhaustion until he heard Blaine’s answer.

“Always. Forever and for always.”

Kurt smiled, snuggling his head deeper into the pillows. He fell asleep almost instantly, safe in his lover’s arms.

K/B

Blaine awoke early the next morning. The sun was rising as the moon retreated back into the heavens. But the sun, the moon and all the stars in the sky could not compare to the beauty lying before him. Kurt had turned sometime in his sleep so he was facing Blaine. His hair was tousled from sleep and he had the most serene expression on his face as he slept. Blaine longed to stay here with Kurt forever, but his stomach was demanding food. Not having the heart to disturb Kurt’s peaceful slumber, Blaine pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Kurt smiled in his sleep, burrowing further under the covers.

He rummaged through Kurt’s closet until he found the simplest shirt Kurt owned. Blaine smiled when he recognized the shirt, white with bold black letters spelling out ‘LIKES BOYS.’ Blaine remembered Kurt telling him about the New Directions’ performance of ‘Born This Way.’ Blaine pulled the shirt over his head, sighing happily as Kurt’s scent completely enveloped him. He settled his gaze over Kurt’s sleeping form once more before slipping out of the door without a sound.

The house was quiet as the other occupants continued to sleep. Blaine set about cooking breakfast, humming to himself as he worked. He was so focused that he didn’t hear Kurt enter the room. He moved the frying pan of scrambled eggs (made solely from egg whites for Kurt’s approval) off of the burner when he felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind.

“I woke up and you weren’t there,” Kurt pouted, resting his head over Blaine’s shoulder.

“I didn’t want to wake you,” Blaine answered. “I knew you’d be hungry when you woke so I came down here to make breakfast.”

“Have I told you you’re the perfect boyfriend?” Kurt spoke into Blaine’s ear.

“Not lately.” Blaine shivered as Kurt’s hot breath tickled his skin.

“Well you are,” Kurt said. He moved his mouth to Blaine’s neck, trailing his lips over the sensitive flesh.

“Don’t start something you won’t finish, Hummel,” Blaine said huskily as he flipped a pancake.

“Who said I wouldn’t finish it?” Kurt murmured seductively against Blaine’s skin.

Kurt thrust his hips forward, sucking at Blaine’s pulse point. Blaine groaned when he felt Kurt’s erection pressing against him. He pushed back against Kurt, causing the other boy to moan softly into his ear. Before things could escalate, Kurt heard movement down the hall. He jumped back from Blaine, quickly moving to sit at the table. Blaine laughed as Kurt awkwardly crossed his legs, stopping when Kurt shot him his best bitch glare. Carole entered the kitchen, already dressed for work. She paused when she saw Blaine.

“I didn’t know you were here, Blaine,” Carole said as she moved to pour herself a cup of coffee.

Carole moved to the refrigerator, selecting her favorite French vanilla creamer. Kurt poured himself a cup of coffee, taking down a second mug for Blaine. Blaine took the mug from Kurt thankfully, pecking his cheek before he took a quick sip of coffee. He swallowed before turning to Carole, “Kurt had a bad night last night. You were already asleep when I got here and I didn’t want to wake you.”

“You know you’re always welcome here, sweetie. I’m incredibly thankful for all that you’ve done for Kurt,” Carole said with a smile. There was an awkward pause before Carole spoke again. “You didn’t have to cook breakfast, honey.”

“I know, but I wanted to,” Blaine said as he moved the last pancake onto a plate.

“It’s very sweet of you. Thank you,” Carole said, giving him a quick hug.

They sat down to eat breakfast, chatting about school and glee club. Burt and Finn joined them before long. After they were done, Blaine put his and Kurt’s plates in the dishwasher. Carole insisted on cleaning up as Blaine had cooked so he followed Kurt upstairs to get ready for school. Kurt disappeared into the bathroom. When he came back into the room, Blaine pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before slipping past him into the bathroom. Kurt was standing in front of his closet when Blaine reentered the room. Blaine opened a drawer in Kurt’s dresser, pulling out the clothes he kept there for occasions such as this. Kurt pulled a white dress shirt out of his closet, laying it out on his bed. He pulled his pajama top over his head, turning to Blaine as he began to button up his shirt.

“I can’t perform Phantom for my audition. It’s too safe. I think I’m going to sing ‘Not the Boy Next Door.’”

“What?” Blaine exclaimed, spinning around to face his boyfriend. “You’ve been practicing ‘Music of the Night’ for months!”

“I know, but I need something unexpected for this audition,” Kurt said as he moved to his vanity to style his hair.

Blaine sighed. He knew there was no talking Kurt out of something once his mind was made up. “You’re going to astound the judge, no matter what you sing.”

“You really think so?” Kurt asked.

“I know it,” Blaine said. He pressed a kiss to Kurt’s lips, knowing his words were true.

K/B

After first period, Rachel cornered Kurt at his locker. The girl wasted no time getting to the point, exclaiming, “This is insanity!”

“Wait, why are you talking to me?” Kurt asked. “I thought you were saving your voice for your audition?”

“I vowed not to speak to you unless Wiliam and Kate got pregnant, Liza passed away or one of us was in grave danger,” Rachel reminded him.

“Tell me Liza’s okay,” Kurt said fearfully.

“I just talked to Blaine. He told me about ‘Not the Boy Next Door.’ You cannot sing that for your NYADA audition!” Rachel spoke quickly.

“I need to be excited about this and this is the first time I have been during this entire process,” Kurt said passionately.

“It’s controversial, Kurt! You can’t repeat those gold pants!” Rachel argued.

“That song won Hugh Jackman a Tony,” Kurt reminded her. “NYADA is a Broadway school.”

“You haven’t rehearsed it enough. I’m singing ‘Don’t Rain on My Parade’ because I’ve been singing it since I was two-years-old! This is the biggest moment of our lives, Kurt. We can’t be taking risks,” Rachel said overzealously, her hands flying through the air as she spoke.

“Isn’t this the exact moment to be taking risks?” Kurt countered.

“Kurt, I have to be honest with you,” Rachel paused. “I think this is self-sabotage. You’re afraid you’re not going to get in so you’re looking for something to blame in case it doesn’t work out.”

Kurt thought for a minute, shutting his locker. He turned to Rachel and asked, “Do you really think I’m doing that?”

“I believe you don’t think you’re good enough, but you are, Kurt! ‘Music of the Night’ is your ‘Don’t Rain on My Parade.’”

“I’m torn. I’ve been practicing Phantom for three months.”

“I believe in you and I believe in that song, so much that I’ll be your Christine,” Rachel offered with a smile.

“You will?” Kurt asked stunned.

“I will,” Rachel confirmed.

“Okay, I’ll do it!”

“NYADA’s not going to know what hit them!” Rachel exclaimed, hugging Kurt tightly.

Kurt watched her walk down the hall, unsure if he was doing the right thing. While Rachel would make the perfect Christine, he wasn’t certain he was right for Erik. But he had been rehearsing for months. He had to play it safe.

K/B

The next day passed entirely too quickly for Kurt. Before he knew it, he was standing in the wings of the auditorium, waiting for the judge to arrive. He was pacing nervously when Rachel joined him, dressed and ready to portray Christine Daaé.

“Kurt, you know they say knowledge is power,” Rachel began hesitantly. “Well I got some last minute intel on our NYADA judge. I don’t want to make you more nervous than you already are, but it’s Carmen Tibideaux.”

“What?” Kurt asked in horror as the woman in question entered the auditorium. He watched as Will hurried behind her, carrying her bag. “She’s one of NYADA’s most successful alumni!”

“Kurt Hummel,” Tibideaux called out.

“You’re going to be amazing,” Rachel said reassuringly. “I believe in you and no one can sing this song better than you can!”

“Even Michael Crawford?” Kurt asked.

“Go get it,” Rachel ignored him, pushing him onto the stage.

Kurt cringed when his voice came out more high-pitched than normal as he introduced himself and announced which song he would be performing. He could tell Tibideaux was less than enthusiastic about the song choice. He made a split second decision, calling Tina, Brittany and Mercedes on stage. He launched into ‘Not the Boy Next Door,’ giving the best performance of his life.

The performance was over in what seemed like seconds. The entire thing was a blur to Kurt. He stood nervously in center stage, waiting for Tibideaux to pass judgment.

“You know Hugh Jackman won a Tony for his portrayal of Peter Allen? Hugh trained with me over the summer I was at the Sydney Opera House,” Tibideaux paused. “I am certain he would be just as impressed with what you did with that song as I am. A bold choice, young man, I congratulate you on taking such a risk.”

“Thank you!” Kurt said breathlessly. “Thank you!”

He hurried off stage, joining Blaine, Finn, and Will as Rachel was called out onto the stage. Blaine kissed his cheek quickly.

“You were phenomenal,” he whispered.

“Thank you.” Kurt beamed, turning his attention to Rachel.

They listened in horror as the unthinkable happened. Rachel fell apart. She started over, only to have it happen again. She pleaded for another chance but Tibideaux spoke resolutely, “This audition is over.”

Tibideaux stalked out of the auditorium without another word. Rachel dissolved into tears as her legs gave out. The four men hurried to her side. Rachel pushed Finn away when he tried to embrace her.

“Please, I want to be alone,” Rachel said before she ran out of the room.

K/B

Kurt was unable to talk to Rachel until the next morning when he found her at her locker. Her phone had been turned off when he had called her the previous night. He strode up to her, hoping she wouldn’t push him away.

“Carmen Tibideaux is a total bitch. She should have let you start over,” Kurt said passionately.

“She did,” Rachel said sadly.

“I mean again. You nailed the beginning of that song. I wouldn’t be surprised if you got in on that alone,” Kurt told her.

“Kurt, we both know what happened. I had my chance and I choked. I choked on a song I’ve been singing my entire life. You were amazing though,” she added. “You were. You went with your gut and you were better than you’ve ever been. You, Finn, and Blaine are going to be great in New York together.”

“You’re coming too,” Kurt said. “Of course you’re coming too.”

“Can we please not talk about this anymore?” Rachel pleaded.

Kurt sighed, pulling her into a hug. He kissed her cheek before saying, “I love you, Rachel Berry.”

“I love you too,” Rachel said as she pulled back. She closed her locker before walking away. Kurt watched her go, wishing he knew a way to fix everything.

K/B

Kurt’s OSU audition was after school in the auditorium. Blaine went with him, hugging him tightly backstage.

“You’re going to be amazing,” Blaine assured him. “You blew Carmen Tibideaux away. This will be a cakewalk.”

Kurt’s name was called and he walked out onto the stage. Blaine hurried down to sit on the front row. Kurt drew in a deep breath.

“I’m Kurt Hummel and I will be singing ‘You Raise Me Up’ by Josh Groban,” Kurt looked at Blaine as he spoke.

Blaine sucked in a quick breath. Kurt had kept his OSU audition song a secret, saying he wanted it to be a surprise. Kurt smiled at Blaine as the music began to play.

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;

When troubles come and my heart burdened be;

Then I am still and wait here in the silence,

Until you come and sit awhile with me.

Blaine was everything to Kurt; his rock, his love, his soul mate. Kurt owed Blaine so much, and this song was for him. Every time Kurt felt too exhausted to go on, when he just wanted to give up, Blaine was there. He would support Kurt no matter what, helping him find his feet again.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

You raise me up to more than I can be.

With Blaine by his side, Kurt felt invincible. As long as Blaine was by his side, Kurt could do anything. He could climb the highest mountain. He could face the toughest storm. As long as he had Blaine, Kurt would be all right.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

You raise me up to more than I can be.

All too often Kurt felt weak. But Blaine made him strong.  Blaine believed in him no matter what, even when Kurt didn’t believe in himself. Blaine never gave up on him and didn’t let Kurt give up on himself. Kurt fought back his tears as the New Directions filed out behind him, dressed in deep blue robes with gold trim. He continued to sing as his friends’ voices rose up to join his.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;

(Up! Stand on mountains!)

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;

(Stormy seas!)

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

(I am strong! Ooh!)

You raise me up to more than I can be.

Tears were streaming down Blaine’s face as he listened to Kurt sing. His eyes were glued to Kurt. When Kurt had kept his song choice from him, Blaine had never expected this.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;

(Up! Stand on mountains!)

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;

(Stormy seas!)

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

You raise me up to more than I can be.

You raise me up to more than I can be.

Kurt wiped the tears from his eyes, smiling lovingly at Blaine. He knew, no matter what happened; if he got into NYADA or OSU, they would be okay. They had each other, and they always would.

K/B

“You were amazing,” Blaine repeated for the thousandth time once they were in his room.

Blaine hadn’t been able to focus as the judge spoke to Kurt. All he could think about was his lover singing this incredible song to him. As soon as the judge left, Blaine kissed Kurt passionately. He suggested they go to his house as his parents were out of town; Kurt readily agreed.

“I’m glad you liked it,” Kurt said softly.

“I loved it,” Blaine said before kissing Kurt with all the love he felt in his heart.

They divested each other of their clothing, falling onto Blaine’s bed in a tangle of limbs. They lost all other thoughts as they focused on loving each other and being loved in return. The room was filled with pleasurable sighs and moans. They cried out each other’s names, breathing heavily as they came back down to earth.

“I love you,” Blaine spoke, lifting his head from Kurt’s chest. He trailed kisses up Kurt’s neck and across his jaw to his lips. He kissed him slowly, gently, lovingly. When he pulled away, he ran a hand through Kurt’s hair, bringing it down to rest on his cheek. Blaine gazed deep into his lover’s eyes, smiling as he said, “I’m going to marry you one day.”

“I know,” Kurt said simply.

Blaine smiled, kissing him again.

“I love you,” Blaine repeated after he finally pulled himself away.

“I love you too.”

“Forever?”

“Always.”