Chapter Fifteen:  Summertime Blues

"I'm going to miss you." Blaine kissed the top of Kurt's head where it rested on his chest, breathing in his scent. He knew it would be a long time before he could hold him like this again.

"I know. I'm going to miss you too. But we'll have Skype dates whenever you aren't busy and we'll call and text every day." Kurt propped himself up on one arm to look down at Blaine. "You're going to have an amazing summer."

"It would be even more amazing if you were there to share it with me," Blaine answered. He wrapped a hand around the back of Kurt's neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Kurt smiled against his lips; taking that as encouragement Blaine opened his mouth, his tongue darting out to beg for admittance. Kurt obliged, gasping when Blaine's tongue stroked his. With his tongue in Kurt's mouth, it was hard for Blaine to think of anything except for that moment and the boy lying on top of him. When they finally pulled apart for air, the persistent thought that had been plaguing him all week reentered Blaine's mind. I should just cancel and spend the summer with Kurt.

"Don't even think about it, Anderson." Kurt could tell by the look on Blaine's face that he was again reconsidering his Six Flags gig.

"Why is it you can read me so easily?" Blaine asked with a smile.

"Because I'm in love with you," Kurt answered, bringing their lips together once more. Hearing footsteps down the hall, Kurt pushed Blaine away. He whispered, "My dad's coming."

Instantly, both boys fell back against the pillows, pretending to be asleep. Sure enough, Burt walked through the open door a moment later. He shook his head in amusement when he saw the two boys, seemingly asleep. He turned the light off before he left the room, leaving the door open.

"Don't you feel bad lying to him?" Blaine whispered in the darkness.

"We aren't lying to him. We're just pretending to already be asleep so he won't make you move to the couch." Kurt cuddled into his side, pressing his nose against Blaine's neck.

"True, but you know he wouldn't let me sleep in here if he didn't think we were already asleep." Blaine ran a hand up and down Kurt's back, absentmindedly. "We're lucky enough that he let me spend the weekend here before I have to leave."

"I know, hence the pretending. It's his own fault anyway. We fell asleep yesterday before he could make you go sleep on the couch and he didn't wake us up; I wouldn't have thought of this if not for him."

Blaine chuckled. "I suppose I should stop complaining and count my blessings, huh?"

"Yes, you should." Kurt pressed a kiss to Blaine's neck. "Will you sing to me?"

Blaine smiled. "Of course, love."

Kurt snuggled deeper into Blaine's arms, not knowing when he would have the chance to hear his boyfriend sing to him again. He was going to enjoy every last moment until Blaine had to board that plane. Blaine pressed a kiss to the top of his head before he began to sing.

It's the way that you blush when you're nervous.

It's your ability to make me earn this.

I know that you're tired, just let me sing you to sleep.

It's about how you laugh out of pity,

'Cause let's be honest I'm not really that funny.

I know that you're shot, just let me sing you to sleep.

Kurt moved his arm to wrap around Blaine's waist, holding him tightly. He let Blaine's clear voice wash over him. He didn't know how he would make it the entire summer without Blaine there to hold him tight and keep him safe from himself.

If you need anything, just say the word.

I mean anything.

Rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in,

And plant my lips where your necklaces close.

Blaine raised a hand to run through Kurt's hair. Normally he was not allowed to touch the chestnut perfection as Kurt spent so much time sculpting it, but tonight everything was different. Tonight was the last night Blaine would hold Kurt in his arms until he returned towards the end of August.

It's those pills that you don't need to take,

Medicating perfection, now that's a mistake.

I know that you're spent, just let me sing you to sleep.

It's your finger and how I'm wrapped around it.

It's your grace and how it keeps me grounded.

I know that you're weak, just let me sing you to sleep.

Kurt wished Blaine wasn't leaving. He wished they could spend every night in each other's arms. But he knew once they graduated and went to New York that would be their reality. They would fall asleep together each night and wake up together each morning. And every night he would ask Blaine to sing him to sleep.

If you need anything, just say the word.

I mean anything.

Rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in,

And plant my lips where your necklaces close.

Blaine was worried that Kurt's loneliness would kick in while he was gone. He knew Burt would take care of him, but that had not stopped Blaine from asking Finn to keep an eye on Kurt. He just hoped Kurt would keep his promise to call whenever he had any urges.

While you were sleeping I figured out everything,

I was constructed for you, and you were molded for me.

Now I feel your name, coursing through my veins.

You shine so bright it's insane; you put the sun to shame.

Blaine knew, without a doubt, that Kurt was it for him. There would never be anyone else that made him feel as deeply as Kurt did. He had never known you could love someone so deeply until he met Kurt. They had only been together for two months, but it seemed like so much longer. That was hardly surprising considering all that they had been through together.

If you need anything, just say the word.

I mean anything.

Rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in,

And plant my lips where your necklaces. . .

Kurt's body completely relaxed as he fell into a deep sleep, wrapped in the arms of the boy that he loved. Blaine continued to sing softly as he listened to Kurt's breaths even out.

If you need anything, just say the word.

I mean anything.

Rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in,

And plant my lips where your necklaces close.

Blaine pressed a soft kiss to the top of Kurt's head, careful not to wake him. He was worried about what their summer apart would do to Kurt, but he had to trust that Kurt would call him if anything arose. Blaine knew it would be hard, but he knew they had been through much worse.

K/B

The next morning, the boys woke early so Blaine could make his flight. Kurt hugged Blaine tightly outside the gate. He faked a smile, not wanting Blaine to know how upset he was that he would be gone the entire summer. If Blaine knew, he would stay and Kurt could not let him pass up an opportunity like this for him.

"You promise you'll call me whenever you have any urges?" Blaine asked for the third time that morning alone.

"Yes, Blaine, I promise." Kurt sighed with frustration.

"I'm sorry; I don't mean to be overbearing. You know I worry about you." Blaine took Kurt's hands in his.

"I know you do and you know I wish you wouldn't," Kurt said.

"I can't help it. I only worry because I love you so much," Blaine told him.

Kurt couldn't help but blush. "I love you too. And that is why you need to go to Illinois and have fun."

"Because you love me?" Blaine asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Exactly. Otherwise, you'd stay here for the summer and Finn would kill us because of the annoying love sick looks we give each other."

Blaine laughed. "I suppose you're right."

"I'm always right." Kurt smiled. "Now go, before you miss your flight."

Blaine tilted his face upwards, smiling when Kurt bent his head and brushed their lips together gently. When they pulled apart, foreheads pressed together, Blaine murmured, "I love you."

"I love you," Kurt answered.

Blaine beamed, never tiring of hearing those three little words fall from Kurt's lips. He squeezed Kurt's hands in his before he grabbed his carry-on bag and walked through the gate. Kurt watched him go, wishing just once he could let himself weaken enough to ask him to stay.

K/B

Two weeks passed uneventfully. Kurt could feel the depression seeping into his veins, but he did his best to ignore it. He had kept his promise and anytime he had an urge he would call Blaine. He had gone an entire month without hurting himself. Blaine had been ecstatic, so proud of his boyfriend. He promised they would celebrate when he returned home. Kurt had done his best to sound cheerful during the conversation, but a part of him thought he wouldn't make it until Blaine came home.

Kurt filled his first two weeks of summer vacation with homework. He kept his mind as busy as possible so he could not possibly think about anything else, especially how much he missed Blaine. Burt noticed this and his worry for his only son increased. That was why he asked to speak to Kurt after dinner Friday night.

"What's going on, Dad?" Kurt asked, getting up to put his plate in the dishwasher.

"I want to talk to you about Blaine," Burt said, watching his son walk slowly back to the table.

"What about Blaine?" Kurt raised an eyebrow, already suspicious of his father's intentions.

"How long have you two been going out now?" Burt questioned, chewing on a toothpick.

"Three months tomorrow. Why?"

"Exactly, you've been dating for three months. Don't you think you're taking things too fast?"

"Dad, we haven't done anything!" Kurt blushed to his roots.

"As happy as that makes me, I think you need to slow things down. I understand you think you're in love with him-"

"I am in love with him! And he's in love with me!"

"You're only seventeen, Kurt-"

"Are you saying you weren't in love with Mom when you were seventeen?"

"That was different." Burt fumbled for a leg to stand on.

"Why? Because we're two guys and not a guy and a girl?" Kurt sprang to his feet. "Why can't you just be happy for me?"

"I am happy for you, Kurt! I just don't want to see you get hurt. You've been through so much already. This is high school. Romance doesn't last very long," Burt said.

"That's where you're wrong," Kurt said. He left without waiting to be dismissed.

Once in the safety of his room, Kurt began to dial Blaine's number. He was halfway through before he remembered Blaine was in the middle of a performance. Kurt began to pace his room, turning quickly after several strides. Somehow he ended up outside the door to his bathroom, staring at the entranceway. Kurt knew he should go to Finn or call Rachel, but he couldn't bring himself to bother either of them with his depression and loneliness. This was his problem, not theirs.

Kurt could feel the blade calling him, and he was useless to resist. He took a step into the bathroom, then another and another until he was standing in front of the medicine cabinet. The door was pulled open and the razor removed from its hiding spot. Without a second thought, Kurt pressed the blade against the flesh of his stomach. He pushed the sharp edge into his skin, pulling upwards as he went. The skin opened up and blood bubbled out. Kurt sighed with relief. It took him a full minute to realize what he had done.

Furious with himself, Kurt rinsed the blade clean before returning it to its hiding spot. He knew he should throw it away but he couldn't bring himself to do so. He turned his attention to his bleeding stomach. He cleaned it with hydrogen peroxide before covering it with gauze and medical tape. When he was done, Kurt returned to his room, sitting on the edge of the bed. He didn't move, waiting for Blaine to call him like he did every evening. When he did, the first words out of Kurt's mouth were "I'm so sorry."

Blaine didn't need to ask what he was sorry for. He knew the second the words had left his boyfriend's mouth. Blaine frowned when he heard Kurt crying through the line. He shushed Kurt, wishing he was there to hold him close.

"It's okay, baby. Shh, don't cry. I'm not mad. Can you tell me why?" Blaine asked.

Kurt explained about the fight with his dad, and the depression and loneliness that had been eating away at him. Blaine sighed unhappily.

"I should come home."

"No, don't! I'll be fine! I won't do it again, I promise." Kurt couldn't let Blaine come home early because of him.

"Are you sure? I can just say I had a family emergency; no one will have to know the truth," Blaine said.

"I'm sure. You can't pass up this opportunity for me." Kurt shook his head vehemently, even though he knew Blaine couldn't see him. "So tell me, what it's like?"

Kurt listened as Blaine talked about the theme park. He let his mind wander after a few minutes, knowing he could not slip up again. If he did, surely Blaine would be on the next plane home. No, he had to find strength some other way.

"Kurt?" Blaine asked.

"What? I'm sorry, I zoned out for a second." Kurt was jolted from his thoughts.

"It's okay. I asked if you were going to Rachel's sleepover with the girls."

Kurt frowned. He knew instantly that Blaine had been speaking with Finn. Rachel was hosting a slumber party for the girls of New Directions and had extended the invitation to Kurt. Kurt had declined instantly, knowing he couldn't risk it with his nightmares.

"Kurt?" Blaine repeated.

"No, I'm not going," Kurt answered quickly.

"Why not? It would be good for you to get out of the house. Finn says you've barely left your room all summer." Blaine knew they were heading towards dangerous waters. This conversation could end two ways: with Kurt hanging up in anger or agreeing to go to Rachel's slumber party.

"What if I have a nightmare?" Kurt asked, hating how scared his voice sounded.

"None of the girls will care if you have a nightmare . . . well, Santana might."

Kurt laughed.

"Look, just sleep next to Rachel so she can wake you up if you have a nightmare. But you don't have them every night so you might not have one then."

"Okay." Kurt sighed.

"You'll go?" Blaine asked.

"Yes, I'll go. Though I should probably be a bit more concerned that you're asking your boyfriend to spend the night alone with six girls."

"Very funny." Blaine laughed.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Kurt hung up the phone as he lay down in bed. He felt the gauze of the bandage pull at his cut and frowned. After checking to make sure his door was still shut, Kurt pulled the bandage off. He swore when he saw the wound had been reopened and was bleeding freely. Just then, Finn burst into the room without knocking.

"Kurt, have you seen my-"

"Shit! Finn, get out!" Kurt glared at his stepbrother.

Finn stood frozen in place, shocking to see Kurt shirtless and bleeding. Kurt was always careful to make sure no one saw him without a long-sleeved shirt so they couldn't see all his scars. Now Finn had burst into the room and not only seen his scars, but what he had done to himself an hour earlier.

"Kurt, did you-"

"Out, Finn!" Kurt cut him off, not wanting to answer the question. Finn already knew what he had done. He wasn't that stupid.

"No, not until you answer me."

Kurt felt tears welling up behind his eyes. He ignored Finn, walking past him to get to his bathroom. He pulled a fresh piece of gauze out from under the sink, pressing it hard against his wound. He hissed at the pain, continuing to ignore Finn when he followed him.

"Kurt, I thought you were stopping. . . ." Finn said awkwardly from the doorway.

"Don't, Finn. Please, just leave me alone." Kurt begged.

"No, not when you're like this. Just tell me what happened. Why didn't you come to me? You should have come to me instead of doing this." Finn made an offhanded gesture towards Kurt's bleeding stomach.

"I know what I should have done, Finn. But I didn't and now we're here so just please, drop it." Kurt pulled the gauze away to see the wound had stopped bleeding. He grabbed a clean piece and placed it over the wound, holding it in place with medical tape.

"I'm sorry," Finn said after a while.

"It's okay." Kurt sighed unhappily. "I just want to go to bed. We'll talk in the morning."

"Okay," Finn agreed. He left the room reluctantly, knowing he couldn't force Kurt to talk to him before he was ready.

Kurt turned his head into his pillow, screaming into it. He hated himself for what he had done. Finn was right. He was supposed to be getting better, not staying the same. Kurt rolled onto his side, pulling his knees up to his chest. He let his tears fall until he finally found peace in sleep.

K/B

The next morning, Kurt had to force himself to leave his bed. He knew Finn would be waiting to talk to him, so he took his time with his daily routine. After ninety minutes of stalling, he couldn't put it off any longer. Kurt descended the stairs, walking into the kitchen with his head held high. Finn was sitting at the kitchen table, devouring a bowl of cereal. He looked up when Kurt walked in, allowing his spoon to fall back into the bowl.

"Good morning," Kurt said once it was clear Finn was not going to speak.

"Morning," Finn replied. He watched as Kurt sliced a bagel and popped it into the toaster. Kurt turned to lean against the cabinet, facing Finn. "Look, about last night . . . I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you to talk."

"You're right. You shouldn't have." Kurt agreed. He turned his back to Finn, pulling his bagel out of the toaster when it was done. He spread cream cheese over both halves before taking it to the table and sitting across from his stepbrother. "But you were right too. I should have come to you last night."

"Why didn't you?" Finn asked after several awkward minutes of silence.

"I didn't want to burden you with my problems," Kurt answered, biting into his bagel.

"What? Dude, you know you can come to me any time. I want to help you," Finn said with surprise.

"I know, Finn. I'm sorry. Can we just drop it? I need to go call Rachel." Kurt pushed away his half-eaten bagel and retreated back to his room before Finn could say a word. Finn watched his stepbrother go, waiting a full minute until he reached across the table and took the discarded bagel. Upstairs, Kurt lay back on his bed, dialing Rachel's number.

"Hey, Rachel," Kurt greeted when the girl answered the line. "Is it too late to RSVP to your sleepover tonight?

Rachel squealed in excitement, forcing Kurt to move the phone away from his ear. Tentatively, he moved it back so he could hear what she was saying. "What made you change your mind?"

"Blaine," Kurt admitted. "Listen, if I do come will you sleep beside me? The nightmares have been worse lately and I don't want to worry the other girls."

"Of course, Kurt, whatever you need. I'm so glad you changed your mind." Rachel continued to discuss what their plans for the evening were, Kurt only half listening to her.

After the phone call to Rachel, Kurt spent the rest of the day in his bedroom. Around six he left for Rachel's house. He did his best to push past his depression and have a good time. Kurt participated in the facials and girl talk, but his heart wasn't in it. He was relieved when they finally decided to end the night with a movie.

Kurt had put his sleeping bag between Rachel's and the wall, trying to distance himself from the other girls. He was one of the first people asleep. Rachel watched Kurt carefully, listening to his calm breathing. She fought sleep for a while, not wanting to miss it if Kurt began to have a nightmare. Her eyelids were drooping and she was beginning to drift off when Kurt whimpered in his sleep. Rachel was instantly wide awake.

Sitting up, Rachel turned towards Kurt. He was writhing in his sleeping bag, tears streaming down his face. He was still asleep. Rachel shook his shoulder gently, whispering his name. Thankfully, Kurt woke immediately. He sat up, looking around in fright. His eyes met Rachel's as he got a bearing on his surroundings.

"It's okay. You're all right." Rachel pulled Kurt into her arms. His head rested against her chest and she could feel his tears soaking her shirt. Rachel stroked his hair, whispering to him, until he finally stopped crying.

"Thank you," Kurt whispered as he pulled away.

"What are friends for?" Rachel smiled as she lay down in her sleeping bag. "Get some sleep, Kurt."

Kurt nodded, looking around to see if his nightmare had woken any of the other girls. Mercifully, the other girls were all asleep. Kurt puzzled over Quinn's absence for a moment. No one had heard from her all summer. Kurt shrugged it off. She was probably busy with her mother. He lay back against his pillow, allowing slumber to pull him under.

K/B

June turned into July but Kurt was wishing it was August. He missed Blaine so much it was becoming unbearable. He didn't realize how much he depended on his boyfriend until he was gone. Kurt tried to distract himself, but it was getting harder to do as he had already completed all of the homework that had been assigned over the summer break. So when Mercedes had called, he had jumped at the chance to spend time with his friends. That was until Mercedes mentioned a pool party. He instantly made an excuse about his father needing him to work in the shop and ended the conversation as quickly as possible.

Finn and Rachel walked past Kurt's open door the afternoon of the party. Finn stopped, puzzled to see Kurt writing at his desk, his back to the door. There was no sign of a bathing suit; instead, Kurt was wearing black skinny jeans with a long-sleeved purple shirt and a black vest. Finn stepped into his stepbrother's room, pulling Rachel with him.

"What're you doing?" Finn asked.

Kurt jumped, spinning around in his chair. He glared at Finn, clutching a hand over his heart. "Jesus, Finn! Don't you know how to knock?"

"Sorry, the door was open." Finn gestured with the hand that wasn't clasped in Rachel's.

"That doesn't mean you can just barge in here whenever you like. Open door or not, it's still my room." Kurt frowned in frustration. No matter how many times he told Finn to knock, the boy could not seem to comprehend the act.

"I know. I'm sorry. Why aren't you in your bathing suit? Mercedes's party starts soon." Finn apologized quickly before the argument could escalate.

"I'm not going," Kurt answered. He turned his back on the couple, picking his pencil up. He still had to complete 'Pip Pip Hooray', a musical about Pippa Middleton.

"Why not?" Finn asked. Rachel remained silent, knowing Kurt was already angry. She didn't want to make things worse.

Kurt sighed deeply before he spun around to face his stepbrother. He looked him in the eyes as he said bluntly, "You've seen me without a shirt on."

"What's wrong with – oh." Finn looked away awkwardly as comprehension dawned on his face. Rachel bit her lip as she realized what the boys were discussing. She decided to take matters into her own hands, pushing Finn out the door. "What're you doing?"

"I need a minute alone with Kurt," Rachel explained before shutting the door against Finn's protestations.

"What do you want, Rachel?" Kurt asked in exasperation, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You don't want anyone to see you in a bathing suit because of your scars," Rachel stated.

Kurt sighed. "And your point is?"

"I just want to help you, Kurt. No one would care about your scars, but I know I won't be able to convince you otherwise so I'm not going to try." Rachel took a few steps towards Kurt.

"And just how are you going to help me?" Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow.

"We can't make your scars disappear but we can cover them up." As she spoke, Rachel pulled a small container of foundation out of her purse. She held it out towards Kurt. "It's waterproof so it won't be able to wash off."

Kurt's face lit up. He took the foundation from her, sweeping the girl into a hug. "You're a genius!"

"I know." Rachel laughed. She left the room so Kurt could change and apply the makeup.

When he was finished, Kurt opened the door to see Finn and Rachel waiting for him. Finn gawked at his stepbrother. Where before there had been a multitude of scars now there was nothing. Finn opened and closed his mouth several times, not sure what to say. Kurt saved him the trouble.

"Ready to go?" he asked brightly. Kurt was out the door before Finn or Rachel could comment. They smiled at each other before they followed him to the car.

K/B

July passed quickly, but not quick enough for Kurt. He spent as much time as possible with his friends, trying to get his mind off of Blaine's absence and his loneliness. But as August dawned, nothing could distract Kurt from his problems.

Kurt awoke from a nightmare, gasping for breath. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he threw back the covers and hurried to his bathroom. Feelings of loneliness and despair overtook him as Kurt pulled open the door to his medicine cabinet. He grasped the razorblade in his hand, bringing the sharp edge down to his stomach. Without a second thought, he pushed in. Reveling in the pain, Kurt watched his blood flow out, taking the bad feelings with it.

Kurt bandaged his wound, feeling guilty. He knew he should have called Blaine, but lately talking had not been helping him. His therapist said he was doing good with his recovery, but Kurt didn't believe her. The medication helped, but not all the time. And where it failed, the razor never did. Kurt sighed unhappily as he crawled back into bed. Only two weeks until Blaine would be home. Kurt hoped his depression would disappear with his boyfriend's return.

K/B

The days flew by and before Kurt knew it, he was driving to the airport to pick Blaine up. He was so anxious to see his boyfriend and hold him in his arms for the first time in months that he didn't drive around looking for a parking spot. Instead, he parked in the first one he saw and hurried into the airport. Kurt was early but he hadn't been able to stay at the house waiting until it was time to leave any longer.

Kurt went into the waiting area and sat down, expecting to wait. He was pleasantly surprised when five minutes after his arrival, Blaine's flight was announced early. Kurt jumped to his feet and hurried to the baggage claim area, where they had agreed to meet. He had not been standing there long when he saw Blaine. A lump formed in his throat at the sight of his boyfriend and Kurt had to remember to breathe. Unable to stop himself, Kurt ran into his arms.

"God, I missed you." Kurt sighed happily as Blaine held him tight. He pressed his face into the curve of Blaine's shoulder, breathing in his scent.

"I missed you too." Blaine smiled. He pulled Kurt into a secluded alcove, making sure they were out of eyesight. His lips crashed against Kurt's. The kiss was filled with desire and months of longing as Blaine pushed Kurt against the wall, pressing their bodies together. When they pulled away they were breathing heavily. Blaine looked sheepish. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

The pair had agreed to take things slow in their relationship. Blaine knew how quickly things could get out of hand when Kurt's body was pressed against his. Kurt blushed before he replied, "Don't be. I quite enjoyed it."

Fully aware of just how much they both enjoyed it, Blaine pulled his body away from Kurt's though every fabric of his being was demanding that he ground their hips together. Blaine took Kurt's hands in his, holding Kurt's arms out to get a good look at him. Kurt's face was flushed and his lips were swollen from the kiss. He was skinnier than he had been before Blaine's departure which he blamed on the recurring nightmares. Blaine's eyes raked over Kurt's thin form, frowning when they reached his exposed forearms.

"Are you wearing makeup?" Blaine asked in confusion.

"Yes, I am," Kurt answered easily.

"Why?" Blaine's eyebrows furrowed.

"New Directions went swimming over the summer and I wasn't going to go because I didn't want anyone to see my scars. Rachel suggested makeup to cover them and I've been wearing it ever since," Kurt explained.

Blaine raised his eyes to Kurt's. The hazel depths were so filled with love that Kurt almost gasped. Blaine squeezed his hands before he spoke. "You are so beautiful. Inside and out, scars and all, you are beautiful. You don't need to hide behind makeup or long sleeves. This is part of who you are, and you're perfect to me."

Kurt blinked back tears. "I love you so much, and I love that you feel that way. But other people won't."

"Screw other people, Kurt. They don't matter. You and I matter and everyone else can just shove it. Everyone has scars. Even I do," Blaine told him simply.

"You do?" Kurt asked in surprise.

"I do." Blaine nodded. "I'm surprised you haven't noticed before. I have several from the night I was attacked." Blaine raised his left wrist and ran a finger along a faint scar on the outside of his wrist. "I have this one here from when they hit me with a serrated pipe." Blaine ignored Kurt's gasp of horror and continued. He pulled up his shirt and revealed a clump of darker scars near the waistband of his jeans. "And this is where they threw me onto a broken beer bottle in the parking lot."

Kurt's finger traced the scars on Blaine's abdomen, feeling the muscles twitch under his touch. He lifted his head to look Blaine in the eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I assumed you'd seen them. It's not like you haven't seen me shirtless before. And honestly, I forget they're there most of the time. They don't bother me. When I do see them I remember what I went through and that without that experience I would not be who I am today." Blaine let his shirt fall back into place when Kurt pulled his hand back. "I love you. You don't have to hide from me."

"I love you too," Kurt answered. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You didn't do anything wrong." Blaine pulled Kurt towards the baggage claim. They picked up Blaine's bag and headed to Kurt's car. Traffic was nonexistent so they reached Blaine's house in record time. As usual, no one was home.

Blaine dropped his bag on the floor of his room before collapsing on the bed. Kurt laughed, stretching out beside him.

"Did you miss your bed?" he asked with a smile.

"You have no idea." Blaine's answer was muffled by his pillow. He lifted his head and looked at Kurt. Kurt shifted under his gaze, feeling like he was being examined. "How are you really?"

Kurt sighed, he knew this conversation was coming but had been hoping to delay it with their reunion. He drew in a deep breath before he answered truthfully. "I've been depressed, and really lonely. I tried to distract myself while you were gone but after a while everything stopped working. Talking didn't even help anymore. It didn't matter if I was with my family or with New Directions, I felt completely alone." Kurt looked down at his hands as he made his next confession. "I cut twice."

"I know, love. You already told me. And I'm still so proud of you. We both knew this wasn't going to be easy, but you made it an entire month!"

"Before I screwed up," Kurt added.

"You didn't screw up. You slipped up. I know you felt alone, but you are never alone. I promise, no matter how much you feel it, you are never alone. I am always here with you, even if I can't be physically. I will always be here for you, Kurt. I love you." Blaine kissed away his tears before repeating, "I love you."

Kurt gave him a watery smile as he answered, "I love you too."

"Come on, I have a surprise for you." Blaine stood up, pulling Kurt to his feet. Kurt followed him down the stairs to the baby grand piano in Blaine's living room.

Blaine settled himself on the piano bench, motioning for Kurt to join him. Kurt sat on the edge of the bench, not wanting to get in the way. Blaine placed a hand over Kurt's and squeezed it gently before he spoke. "I wrote this for you while I was in Illinois. It took me the entire summer to finish it. I love you, and I mean every word that I'm about to sing."

Blaine moved his hands to the piano keys as he began to play.

I've been alone,

Surrounded by darkness.

And I've seen how heartless

The world can be.

And I've seen you crying.

You felt like it's hopeless.

I'll always do my best

To make you see.

Kurt watched Blaine's fingers as they stroked the keys. He couldn't believe Blaine had written a song for him. The boy continued to amaze him every single day. Kurt couldn't believe how lucky he was to be loved by such an incredible person.

Baby, you're not alone.

'Cause you're here with me.

And nothing's ever gonna bring us down,

'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you.

And you know it's true.

It don't matter what'll come to be,

Our love is all we need to make it through.

Kurt listened to the words as Blaine sang to him. The music itself was beautiful, but the words touched Kurt so deeply. He knew Blaine meant them and he wiped away his tears as they fell.

Now I know it ain't easy,

But it ain't hard trying.

Every time I see you smiling,

And I feel you so close to me.

And you tell me,

Baby, you're not alone.

'Cause you're here with me.

And nothing's ever gonna bring us down

'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you.

And you know it's true.

It don't matter what'll come to be,

Our love is all we need to make it through.

Blaine knew they had fallen in love fast, but that did not mean what they felt wasn't real. He had never cared about anyone the way he cared about Kurt. He had never loved someone as deeply as he loved Kurt. And he was going to be there for him for the rest of their lives.

I still have trouble.

I trip and stumble,

Trying to make sense of things sometimes.

I look for reasons,

But I don't need 'em.

All I need is to look in your eyes,

And I realize.

Blaine lifted his eyes to Kurt's. Kurt was smiling so widely it looked painful.

Baby, I'm not alone.

'Cause you're here with me.

And nothing's ever gonna take us down,

'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you.

And you know it's true.

It don't matter what'll come to be,

Our love is all we need to make it through.

Oh 'cause you're here with me.

And nothings ever gonna bring us down

Cause nothing, nothing, nothing

Can keep me from loving you.

And you know it's true.

Ooh, it don't matter what'll come to be,

You know our love is all we need.

Our love is all we need

To make it through.

The instant Blaine removed his hands from the piano, Kurt flung himself into Blaine's arms. He kissed him passionately. When they pulled apart, they kept their foreheads together.

"Thank you so much," Kurt spoke softly.

"I meant every word, Kurt. You're never alone because you have me. No matter what."

"Forever?"

"Always."

K/B

There was only two weeks left to summer break and Kurt was helping Blaine finish his last second homework in Kurt's bedroom. Blaine had disappeared into Kurt's bathroom, but he thought nothing of it. He hadn't cut since Blaine's return and he had nothing to hide from his boyfriend. Or so he thought.

"What is this?" Blaine asked as he came back into the room.

Kurt looked up to see what Blaine was talking about. He was surprised to see his boyfriend holding his bloodstained ace bandage at arm's length. It had been under his sink, out of sight.

"It's an ace bandage. Why are you going through my stuff?" Kurt asked.

"I was looking for toilet paper. Why is this covered in blood?" Blaine demanded.

"I didn't always have time to clean up, so I used that," Kurt explained awkwardly.

Blaine dropped the offending object on the floor before he walked over to Kurt, pulling him to his feet. He chose his words with care before speaking. "You shouldn't be keeping these things around, Kurt. They'll just tempt you and you don't need that. You've come so far in the past few months." Blaine took a deep breath before continuing. "I think you should throw everything away."

"I-I-I can't." Kurt stumbled over the words. "I can't."

"Yes, you can. I know you can. Please, do this. For me?" Blaine pleaded.

Kurt looked deep in Blaine's eyes, reading him like an open book. Kurt found himself nodding before he could think of what was happening. Blaine led him into the bathroom.

"I'm right here. You can do this," Blaine told him supportively.

With Blaine's encouragement, Kurt removed all of the razorblades, gauze, hydrogen peroxide, Neosporin, and medical tape from his bathroom. He let Blaine lead him down the stairs to the trashcan. They threw the objects away. Kurt knew he should tell Blaine about the blade hidden in his messenger bag, but he couldn't. Even if he wasn't using it, knowing that he had the option made it easier sometimes.

"I'm so proud of you." Blaine held him close once they were back upstairs.

Kurt smiled weakly, feeling guilty for keeping one blade secret. He pushed the feeling away, grabbing Blaine's hand. "I've been wanting to ask you something."

"You can ask me anything. You know that," Blaine said.

"This is going to be our senior year. I want it to be perfect. I want to be able to spend it with you."

"You want me to transfer."

"Yes." Kurt nodded.

Blaine sighed heavily. "I would love to be able to see you every day again."

"But?"

"But I'm afraid. I know Dalton is sheltered, but it kept me safe when I needed it the most." Kurt's heart dropped. Blaine squeezed his hand. "I'm not saying no. I'll think about it, okay?"

"That's all I ask." Kurt lifted his eyes to meet Blaine's. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet. Even if I do decide to transfer I'll have to get my parents to agree, and you know how my dad is."

"Still, thank you for even considering it."

"Anything to make you happy. You know I love you." Blaine brushed his lips against Kurt's.

"I love you too."

"Forever?" Blaine asked with a smile.

"Always." Kurt kissed him deeply, knowing it was true.