Now & Always
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Now & Always: Chapter 35


E - Words: 996 - Last Updated: Dec 26, 2012
Story: Closed - Chapters: 38/? - Created: Oct 01, 2012 - Updated: Dec 26, 2012
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Kurt hung up the phone and rubbed his eyes. He was exhausted. It was 9:30 in New York and he was already eager to go to bed.

Isabelle had a keen eye for fashion, but had found a lull in her career. Because of this, she was slowly stepping away from her role and pushing people on her team to fill the void and utilize their own talents and skills to better Vogue as a whole. When he took on his role at Vogue, he knew that he wouldn't just be Isabelle's assistant. She was grooming him for something greater – he could tell from the first minute that he met her and she held him in high regard. He was thrilled that someone trusted his opinion and saw his potential, but he realized that sometimes that feeling of competence came at a high price.

The price was sleep.

Kurt was putting in a lot of extra hours to ensure that things ran smoothly and he even took extra time to work on some passion projects that made it into the online publication. He was thrilled for the exposure, but working 12 to 14 hour days for nearly five weeks straight were starting to take their toll. He still managed to look put together each day, but he spoke less – thinking of pithy things to say proved too exhausting most of the time – and he barely got more than 5 hours of sleep a night.

Since he had returned from Lima, Kurt had been in a whirlwind full of fashion shoots, photo spreads, writing copy, and coordinating travel schedules for Isabelle's upcoming trip to Paris. Each experience had been great and he was learning so much from Isabelle and the other people at Vogue, but he recognized that living and working in New York City was so much more exhausting than he expected. And it wasn't just people at Vogue – it was everyone. The few friends he'd made within the industry and a few others he'd met through Rachel or other friends all said the same thing. They worked 10 to 12 hour days and went home beat nearly every weeknight. The work/life balance was something that didn't happen much for 19-year-olds fresh to the Big Apple – living for the weekend took on a new meaning.

Tonight was a rare night where Kurt made it back to his apartment by 8pm. Isabelle had left for a store opening in Chelsea and the rest of the office knew to duck out soon after she left, understanding that if she wasn't there, no one would really miss them. He was so worn out; he didn't even put the Chinese take-out container in the microwave and ate cold fried rice directly from the box. With a giant wooden spoon. He was perfectly happy to mindlessly watch reruns of anything if it meant he could turn his mind to mush and just forget about work for a while. Rachel was still practicing at school, so he wanted to take advantage of the rare quiet lull in his apartment. But even trying to move from the bed to the couch to watch TV felt too labor intensive.

He knew that he was wearing himself out and he hated how it made him almost too tired to talk to Blaine sometimes. Although they would talk every night, they would merely go through what happened that particular day - what songs Blaine practiced in glee, what funny things happened in the office, what offensive outfits they'd seen on people. They rarely had their movie nights over Skype and they certainly never had time to delve into their feelings about things – how Blaine was feeling about his dad's job and how Kurt was feeling overwhelmed at work rarely crossed their lips.

Kurt was glad that Blaine had called him that night to talk about the fight he had with his parents. It made him focus on the fact that although he liked what he did and though his job was important, he really needed to be there for Blaine. His boyfriend was dealing with a lot back home, apparently more so now that he and his family might be moving to Missouri, and he promised himself (and Blaine) that he would support and love him. In Kurt's mind, that should be his full-time job.

Their whole fight just a few weeks ago was a direct result of both boys feeling lonely and abandoned – he knew he couldn't continue on that path because it might cause them to break up for good if it ever happened again.

As Kurt lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, he decided to put a plan into action. First of all, he needed to try to establish some type of balance at work and do his best not to spend more than half of his day staring at his computer screen. He didn't want to be the first one there and the last to leave; he needed to make a set schedule and stick to it. He didn't want people to expect that he'd stay in the office from 8am until 10pm every night.

The second part of his plan would be to work out times he would set aside for himself. Whether it is having a movie night with Blaine or giving himself time to read a book, he needed to have time to breathe. It would be a hard promise to keep since his schedule could fluctuate at the drop of a hat, but if he was intentional about his "me time" and shared this personal expectation with Isabelle and even Rachel, he might be able to have a better, less exhausted self in the long run.

But the last step would have to take place next week. For this part of the plan, he needed to do something for Blaine. Kurt smiled as the thoughts ran through his head before submitting to sleep with Blaine's honey eyes in his mind.


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