CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

MONDAY, DECEMBER 3

I just got an embarrassingly large flower arrangement at my apartment. –K

My, my. Why would that be? –B

I have no idea, but apparently some weirdo is pretty happy to have spent a month in my presence. –K

Man, that guy is really lucky. –B

He really is. –K

And the guy he's gushing over is so humble. –B

Of course he is. –K

But seriously. Happy one month, Blaine. The flowers were really sweet. –K

I tried. I hope they're okay. –B

They're beautiful. And quite festive. Poinsettias are underappreciated in my opinion. –K

Agreed. And I figured those were better than roses. They're too predictable and you, dear sir, are anything but predictable. –B

I hope you're okay with that. –K

More than okay. –B

...

I'm pretty sure I'm going to get fat now. –B

Why's that? –K

Apparently some hottie left me a giant basket of cookies for me at reception and I have now eaten 8 of them. –B

Blaine! I just dropped them off! –K

So they're from you?! ;) I know, but they smelled really good and I didn't want the guys to see me with them so I ate some. –B

Why didn't you want them to see your cookies? –K

Because I don't want to share. –B

Haha. Didn't your parents tell you that sharing is caring? –K

I don't share. Not when it comes to you. –B

Or cookies. –B

:) So I guess you liked them? –K

They're spectacular. Did you make these? –B

I did. They're my signature white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. I only make them on special occasions. Today seemed appropriate. –K

You just wanted to outdo my flowers didn't you. –B

These were baking well before I got your flowers, but I think I did all right. –K

Definitely. My weakness may be pie, but cookies are a close second. Well, third really. –B

Third weakness? If pie is one, how are cookies third? –K

Pies are second, cookies are third. –B

What's number one? –K

You'll find out some day. –B

Spoilsport. –K

Voice Message Received at 8:07pm

"Hey Blaine. It's Jeremy. The guys and I are headed out for the night and we're going to grab some dinner but you disappeared after your phone call so I hope everything is all right. Zach and the guys seem bummed that you don't appear to be joining us tonight, but we'll see you tomorrow. Either way, hope everything is cool and have a good night!"

Voice Message Received at 9:39pm

"Kurt, it's San. I just wanted to make sure you and Blaine were still alive. I saw him practically running out of the studio off somewhere with a dopey grin on his face and I figured you had something to do with it. If you're with him, can you tell him to call me? His baby band that he's working with keeps calling to make sure he's alive but he has his phone off so I can't get ahold of him. They're driving me crazy and I need to get them off my back. Hope you two are having fun. Let me know if I need to send over condoms. Adios."

Voice Message Received at 11:23pm

"Kurt, it's Blaine. You just left my apartment and I think you have your phone turned off which means that you're going to get this incredibly cheesy message. I just wanted to say tonight was great,reallygreat. And this past month with you has been wonderful. I still can't believe you wanted to go to Cosi for our one-month anniversary but I'm glad we went in the end. Those s'mores were good! Anyway, sorry to ramble on your voicemail but I had a really great time and thank you for being willing to spend the last month with me sticking around. I-I... I'll talk to you later. Bye."

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 4

Voice Message Received at 12:15am

"Lauren, it's Kurt. Oh my GOD tonight was amazing. I'm sorry that I'm calling you so late, I know you're probably sleeping or something but I had to gush to someone and since you're my girl, I thought I'd try to see if you were awake. Also, have I mentioned that Blaine is the sweetest guy ever? And also how he's the best kisser? Seriously, the BEST. And when I dropped him off at his apartment tonight we totally ended up drinking a bottle of wine, spent forever making out and I am fairly sure I have a massive hickey. Is it weird that I'm not embarrassed by that? Because I'm so not.

And I almost started to undo his shirt but his freaking phone rang and totally ruined the moment. Which is okay I guess since I needed to go and he has to work at 9 tomorrow, but god, making out with him is... yum. And it was his band trying to get ahold of him because he didn't go out with them for dinner. Obviously he was doing something better! I mean, not doing... he and I weren't... God, how long is this voicemail? I think I am still feeling the adrenaline and alcohol and I'm talking too much. Hope you enjoy this little message and I suppose we can have a full debrief about this tomorrow. Mwah!"

Voice Message Received at 10:02am

"Kurt, Lauren here. Do you realize that you left me one of the longest voicemails in my life? Either way I was cracking up almost the entire message and I honestly hope you remember leaving it for me. I can't wait to hear more about how you have a 'massive hickey' and I wonder if you have a matching set since I'd guess that you'd try to reciprocate on your little necking session. Let's be sure to chat tonight."

Voice Message Received at 6:13pm

"Blaine, you seriously are making me look bad. Lauren called me to tell me all about how sweet and adorable you were with Kurt for your anniversary and now I feel like I'm paling in comparison as a boyfriend. You're lucky we're friends otherwise I'd be pissed.

Oh, and Kurt has been as high as a kite since yesterday so whatever you did, good job. And nice job on that hickey – or at least I imagine there's one there since Kurt is wearing a scarf and it's way too warm for one. As his quasi-brother I should be chastising you. But as your bro, have a virtual high five. Later, man."

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 8

KURT

With Christmas around the corner, our performances at work were becoming a little more sporadic with the holiday hours kicking in. This meant that our evening shows started later, which brought both good and bad things with it. The good thing was that I could spend more time with Blaine before shows. The bad thing was that I couldn't talk to him afterward since we wouldn't be done for the night until after midnight and Blaine needed to keep up his sleeping schedule. He had been really busy with work lately and I knew he really enjoyed his work, but it was also taxing.

With the weird hours and our mismatched schedules, I wanted to surprise Blaine with an impromptu lunch at his apartment. I figured he and I could decide on what to eat and go to the store and grab everything before making the meal together. I partially wanted to go with this route because I wasn't sure what Blaine would want to eat since the warmer weather eliminated the need for soups or hearty meals, but I also wanted to make Blaine actually use his kitchen. He had a perfectly good refrigerator and stove yet I don't think he'd used it in years.

I arrived at Blaine's apartment at 11 with the hopes of surprising him. I buzzed the intercom, but got no reply. After another three times, I concluded that Blaine wasn't home.

Weird. Maybe he's running errands or something.

I sighed and realized I should have probably called before making the trek to his apartment but thought it would be better if he didn't suspect anything. I reluctantly grabbed my phone from my pocket and went to my favorites and clicked on Blaine's name.

Yes, he had been upgraded to my favorites – primarily because I called him every day. Seriously, if you looked at my call log I either called him or... nope, just him.

I pressed the received to my ear as the ringing began. After two rings, I was met with a rather unexpected sound.

"Huh-hello?" Blaine said, out of breath.

"B-Blaine?"

"Oh... uhhh, hi Kurt," Blaine nearly moaned.

Dear Jesus, what was he doing?I thought to myself.

"I-I'm sorry, did I catch you at a bad time? You seem like you're in the middle of something."

"Oh, uh, no," he replied, sounding a bit more composed. "Sorry, I was running in the park but I'm on my way back to my apartment. I usually run the whole way back but I suppose I should walk if I'm talking to you."

I laughed. "You couldn't resist this weather, could you?"

He chuckled. "Definitely not. It's 58 degrees in December. I don't think that's happened the entire time I've lived in New York."

"It certainly is rare," I concurred. "So you're on your way back to your apartment?"

"Yeah, I should be there in a minute or two." He paused and took a deep breath, as if regaining his normal lung function. "What are you up to?"

"I'm just enjoying the weather as well, though I'm definitely not running right now," I conceded, not willing to admit that I was standing outside of his apartment.

"I don't blame you. Between the run and the weather, I'm feeling incredible today."

I giggled. "Well that's good." I heard the faint sound of a car honking in the background on Blaine's end; Blaine must be on his block now since I could hear the car in question honking down the street from where I was standing.

I decided to sit on the stoop outside of his apartment and wait – hiding me from his view. I didn't want to spoil the surprise by having him see me before he was walking up to his apartment; I was a man who needed an entrance. Besides, I loved seeing Blaine's surprised face, it was cute.

"I'm about to walk into my building, so can I call you—" I heard him say down the sidewalk before I ended the call. "—After I'm in my apartment?" he questioned into his receiver even though I'd hung up and could hear and see him in person.

"Of course," I said as I could hear Blaine stepping closer to where I was hidden. I still couldn't see him and I wanted to stay seated until he was standing in front of me.

His steps hurried a bit since I think he realized that my voice wasn't coming through the phone anymore but he couldn't figure out where I was coming from. "Kurt?" he asked but I remained seated in my spot.

I shoved my phone in my pocket and looked up and saw Blaine's running shoes in front of me. "So you found—" I said before my voice died in my throat.

Oh. Sweet. God.

Blaine was not wearing a shirt.

I repeat, Blaine Anderson, my exceptionally sexy and apparently incredibly toned boyfriend, is not wearing a shirt. His abs were defined but not overly muscular and were set perfectly nestled between the light patches of body hair that lay on his chest and the sliver that seemed to dip below his shorts. Despite the fact that it was winter, Blaine seemed to maintain a sort of glowing tan that I was somewhat envious of.

But the best parts about shirtless Blaine obviously were his abs. And the way that his hipbones gave a perfect v-shaped line that would lead all the way down to his...

Holy shit. Holy shit.

If Blaine had not turned me on in the past, hedefinitelydid now.

God, I was gay; soastoundinglygay.

And I think I'm drooling. Okay, okay. Pay attention. Blaine is saying something.

"—Can't believe you're here, it's a nice surprise," I heard Blaine say. I hadn't really processed whatever he was talking about nor had my eyes gazed further north than the incredible abs in front of me. I knew he was in good shape – that much I could tell from hugging him and from our make out session on Monday. But seeing it in person and so close to me was something else.

Instead of agree with whatever he was talking about, I surged forward as I stood and wrapped my arms around his shoulders and gave him an unrestrained, open-mouthed kiss. I could feel Blaine's shoulders tense under my grasp, but he retaliated with his own heated kiss.

I didn't even care that he was probably feeling sweaty but he was sohot. And even though he'd spent who knows how long running, he still managed to smell pretty good. Once he wrapped his arms around my waist, I wasted no time and practically shoved my tongue into his mouth. It probably was a bit too forceful and some of the drool I had from seeing Blaine like that probably transferred bit, so it was probably a really wet kiss but I didn't care.

This man was my boyfriend and I needed him to know how much I appreciated him,allof him.

I shoved Blaine against the brick railing for the stairs and I heard Blaine groan at the way his back was grating against the brick wall, but that only made me push harder.

Our tongues mixed and I was clutching onto his slightly wild hair as I struggled to breathe through my nose why sucking lightly on his tongue. I could feel Blaine's hands clutching onto my un-tucked shirt and I could feel the whisper of a finger on the skin of my back which had become exposed with Blaine's tugging. His skin on mine set me on fire and I tugged a little harder on his hair, causing an illicit moan to come from my boyfriend's mouth.

The jingling of keys behind me made me realize that we still were in public but I didn't want someone walking into their apartment to ruin the moment we were having. I suppose it didn't need to end – it just needed to move locations, locations that were much moreprivate.

I detached my lips from his in order to allow my mouth to go exploring on his neck. He gasped as my lips grazed his cheek, then the spot on his jaw just under his ear. I smiled as I looked down and saw the lingering mark I had made on Monday night – it was small and slightly faded – but I felt a sense of pride putting it there and knowing the noises he made that night were coming from him now. I kissed a trail to the faded mark and whispered, "let's go inside," while he nodded profusely against my shoulder and started digging in the pocket of his basketball shorts for his keys.

I stepped back to let him pull his keys out only to be in awe of the sight in front of me. I figured his appearance had gotten a bit jostled around while he was running, but I was fairly certain the crazy hair and reddened lips had to do more with me than his exercise routine. This unkempt version of Blaine was somehow even hotter than shirtless Blaine and it took all of my restraint to not attach myself to his face again.

He finally unearthed his keys and he calmly advanced to the door to unlock it. I heard the lock click and he pushed the door in and held it open for me to walk through. I nodded in thanks as I swept past him only to feel his arm latching around my waist and I felt a wet kiss on my neck where my t-shirt left my skin exposed. I moaned softly as he pushed us toward the elevator and he used his other arm to reach forward and push the elevator button three times, as if the motion would help it arrive sooner.

Perhaps it was luck or Blaine's persistent pushing but as soon as he pushed the button, the elevator opened and our legs moved in sync into the elevator. Blaine turned toward the buttons inside and pushed the one for his floor, his hair tickling the back of my neck as he moved.

I giggled at the contact but spun around to face Blaine once the door was closed and resumed kissing his neck. He tilted his head to the side and opened up the wide expanse of skin, which I quickly took into my lips as I planted kisses on all the skin I could find.

"Kurt..." he whispered as I found a particularly sensitive spot on his neck. One of my hands found its rightful place in his hair while the other skimmed the skin on his chest and neck. His hands lingered on my hips, tugging at the bottom of my shirt as if it were his lifeline while twisting the cotton around his finger.

The elevator dinged as it opened and removed us from our trance as I relinquished my hold on Blaine's neck in order to make our way toward his apartment. It felt like night and day as the warmth of Blaine's body left mine and our only connection point was through our linked hands.

Once we left the elevator, it felt like something had shifted. The heat and lust that was evident downstairs and even in the elevator had dissipated slightly – though some of the tension was still there. But he wasn't reaching out to touch my or maintain contact aside from our fingers. It was as if he was stilling himself for something as he walked down the hall with his eyebrows gathered, one hand rubbing his neck and the other holding my hand.

And I wasn't pushing physical contact either. Every part of my body was rebelling against me; eager for me to push myself against Blaine so he could feel how much every muscle and appendagewantedhim. But somehow our arrival onto his floor made the situation more real; that we could make out without time limits and just let things progress.

Yes, we had made out in his apartment earlier this week and it was divine. But deep down we both knew that Blaine had to get ready for work the next morning and I still needed to go home and I hated trying to flag down a cab late at night.

But that wasn't the case today. We could make out for hours... or not make out for hours and let things go further. I definitely wanted things to go further, I was practically crying at how much I was restraining myself right now. Yet deep down, a part of me was still really nervous about it. I had some sexual experience but I was still nervous about engaging in sex since I'd only had sex with one guy and it didn't even happen that often.

He took a deep breath as he stood in front of his apartment door and struggled to open the door. I took the opportunity with the space between us to gawk at his silhouette – I still couldn't believe that this guy was my boyfriend.

He pushed open the door and gestured for me to walk ahead of him. I took a few steps into his apartment and I heard the door close behind him. I turned toward him, ready to advance and start kissing him again as if it was second nature, but Blaine stopped me.

"One second," he said as he ducked past the divider in his studio toward where his bed was. I stood awkwardly just inside the door by where his kitchen was, not sure what to do. Should I follow him into his bedroom area? Should I sit on the couch?

I had my answer in a moment as Blaine emerged from his sleeping space with a t-shirt on. I immediately frowned at the sight, not wanting to give up my spectacular view.

"We need to talk," he stated plainly as he motioned toward the couch. I'm fairly certain my eyes were bugging out of their sockets as I dwelled over where this could possibly be heading. Was I a bad kisser and he wanted to break it off? Was I being too forceful? I could understand if I had surprised him – the same thing had happened to me once. But the circumstances here were totally different than what happened to me at McKinley.

"Oh god," I muttered and cautiously moved toward the couch.

Blaine looked at me with questioning eyes before his own bulged with surprise. "Oh, god, no. It's nothing like that. I'm not breaking up with you or anything."

"Oh thank god," I breathed as I relaxed a bit into the couch. "I though I was a bad kisser or something and this was your way of being nice and stopping me."

He grinned. "You're definitely not a bad kisser, at all. It's not possible." I laughed. "But it is about kissing. Well, sort of."

I looked at him, confused. "What do you mean?"

He sighed as he sat next to me and grabbed my hands and pulled them between us. "God, this is so awkward," he resigned as he let out a soft chuckle.

"You saying that out loud is definitely not helping," I noted.

"Okay, okay." After another deep breath, he continued. "I know we haven't been together long, but I just wanted to talk to you about being more... physical."

"Okay..."

"I can't lie, what happened downstairs was really hot. Like, incredibly hot." I giggled as he persisted. "But I didn't want it to go any further - at least not now; not today. Which is why I had to stop it once we got on the floor. I knew otherwise one thing would lead to another and I didn't want that."

"That's fine with me, and I'm really sorry if—"

"Kurt, stop," he insisted. "I want to hear what you have to say – really – but I need to think this out since it just kind of came to me while I was on my run today and what happened now kind of reinforced that. I want to spew it all out and then hear your opinion." I nodded in agreement and he continued.

"I'm not incredibly... experienced when it comes to physical stuff. I'm a really tactile person, but I'm also the kind of person that once I cross a certain physical threshold, it's hard for me to hold back. But it's not because I don't have willpower and can't restrain myself, but it's because I only do those things when it means something; it's the only time I've ever progressed things physically in the past.

"I can count on two hands the number of people I've kissed and I'm proud of that. I've just been really insistent that anything... sexual... means something, because I don't just go down that path without it leading to something more. I don't want you to think that you somehow owe me something in order for that kind of stuff to happen, but I wanted to let you know that I just... can't."

He looked down at his feet as he finished speaking and I was blown away. It really took guts to be so bold like that. And for a guy – gay or not – to put the breaks on sex was practically unheard of. But I really respected him for valuing himself –allof himself – in the way that he did. It was something a wise mechanic from Lima, Ohio had always wanted for me and something I had forgotten a little along the way.

I squeezed our joined hands and Blaine looked into my eyes; his were full of doubt and fear and I hoped mine were full of kindness and were no longer full of lust – although not all of me had forgotten that I was very turned on from our earlier session. "I want it to mean something too," I agreed, and I truly did. "I'm sorry if I got a little... out of hand. I think it was a mixture of me not seeing you since Monday and the fact that, well, you're really hot..." He guffawed at that, "but I won't do that again."

"It's not that I don't want you to stop, Kurt," Blaine admitted. "I mean, I do for right now. But Idefinitelywant to. God, I want to – but not today and not like this. I just... know my heart needs it to be this way."

My two heads were in disagreement on Blaine's statement to wait, but my heart agreed – now was not the time. "You're right." His shoulders relaxed slightly and he seemed much more at ease now that the discussion was out of the way. "But I can still kiss you, right?" I asked.

Blaine roared with laughter. "Of course! I certainly don't want that to stop. But let's just... keep things relatively PG-13 for the time being."

"PG-13? Really? What does that even mean? And why are we defining ourselves by MPAA standards?"

He chuckled. "How about no hands below the belt?" I nodded in agreement, though that definitely meant that I would be taking care of myself for a little while longer. It wasn't something I was ashamed of, but it was something most male twenty-somethings would hope to have "handled" by someone else by that point in their lives.

But I would wait – Icouldwait, as long as Blaine was at the finish line.

God, when did my brain become so cheesy?

"Come here," I said as I leaned back on his couch. Blaine scooted over and rested his head on my shoulder and I dropped mine to lie on top of his. Our still joined hands were woven tightly between us and I took in a deep breath, taking in the scene that I was a part of.

"Why'd you come over anyway?" he questioned softly as he lazily drew shapes on the back of my hand with his thumb.

"Oh, I totally forgot." He snorted when I admitted it and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "I have a show tonight at 8, but I thought we could spend some time together before then – maybe make lunch and just have a lazy Saturday? I know you've been really busy and things are getting hectic with the holidays, so I thought I'd optimize the time now."

"That sounds really nice," he said.

As soon as he said it, his stomach grumbled and I couldn't help but laugh. "I think your stomach agrees."

He chuckled. "Sorry, I didn't have much for breakfast and the run took a bit out of me, so I'm hungrier than I thought I was."

"No need to apologize. We can go to the store right now and decide on the menu and have everything made and devoured within the hour so you won't wither away," I joked.

"That would be great, but can I take a shower first? I feel like I smell."

I giggled. "I didn't think you smelled, but okay."

At Blaine's mention of a shower, my mind started to wander. It was going down a really nice path, but one that was not in the PG-13 realm we were trying to keep our relationship in. I realized that thinking about him taking a shower was not exactly helping my desire to uphold his request to not progress things physically. I can't help it that I'm clearly an abs man and I was still reeling a bit from earlier. I needed to take a break from him – just to clear my head... the one attached to my neck, that is.

"How about this," I proposed. "Why don't you take... a shower... and I'll go grab coffee and we can meet at the market that's down the block from here and pick out a menu for tonight?"

"That would be great," he said as he sat up from his seat. He turned and gave me a kiss on the cheek and stood and I quickly stood as well. I was also getting hungry now that it was nearly noon and my internal clock sometimes demanded that I eat at regular intervals or else I become crabby.

Blaine made it to the door a few steps ahead of me, so he held it open as he waited for me to collect my keys that I had left on the small table by the door. "How long do you think you'll need? I don't want to loiter around the grocery store – I swear, they think I'm trying to steal something every time I'm in there for more than 3 minutes."

He laughed. "15 minutes should be enough. By the time you get your coffee, I should make it there just around the time you'd get there so I'll help keep you safe from their prying eyes."

"Sounds good," I said, turning to leave the door.

"No sir," Blaine said as I stepped into the hallway. I turned back around with questioning eyes.

"What?"

"You forgot something."

I padded myself to check for my keys, wallet, and cell phone. "No I didn't."

"Yes you did," he said with a grin as he stepped forward and gave me a kiss on the lips. He lingered for a few seconds – just long enough for me to get lost in the feeling of his lips – before the pressure released and he was standing close to me. "Now you've got everything," he whispered.

I blinked my eyes open to see Blaine's cheerful smile lighting up the hallway. "You're such a cornball," I said as I rolled my eyes.

"You love it," he teased.

"Mmmhmm," I said as I walked down the hall, not willing myself to turn back and look at my boyfriend – afraid that doing so would cause me to linger longer than I had already. "15 minutes!" I exclaimed as I pushed the button for the elevator.

"Yes dear," he replied as he shut his door.

...

"Nonfat caramel latte for Kurt," the barista bellowed as I was playing with my phone. I slipped the phone into my pocket and took the warm drink into my hands. I probably could have gotten something seasonal with cinnamon or gingerbread, but the warm weather was screwing with my mind's ability to partake in the festive drinks.

I grabbed the coffee from the counter and shuffled over to sweeten my brew even more. While I stirred in more Splenda, I thought about a lot of things – but mostly Blaine. I must have done something amazing karma-wise to luck out with a guy like Blaine. And it wasn't just because he was attractive, though he had proven that was the case. But he was more than that.

He was incredibly kind, he was intelligent and passionate, he wore his heart on his sleeve and was honest to a fault, and he was a great friend and confidant. It wasn't just like I hit the jackpot with the way he looked; I hit the jackpot with all of him.

I knew him talking to me about how he hoped to progress things physically had been awkward for him, but I was really thankful for it. In my past relationships we hadn't taken the time to talk about what we wanted – physically or otherwise – and we just went with a "let's see where this leads" attitude. That frame of thinking hadn't gone over well in the long run, but in looking back, it might have been because we weren't forced to be honest with each other.

I liked the honesty that being in a relationship with Blaine seemed to promise; it felt like we were in a real, adult relationship rather than being a high school romance or a blindsided college fling. It was real;wewere real. And we had the potential to be something greater someday.

That thought alone was kind of daunting but at the same time I wanted it more than anything. In my online profile, I'd spoken about how I wanted a partnership and that was definitely true. But I think deep down, I never really thought it would happen for me. But how that I was in something – a new something, but something – that promised something fantastic, the idea of partnership for forever really appealed to me. Especially if it was with a guy like Blaine.

Who knows - this time, I could have found The One.

I let the thought of Blaine and calling him my partner ruminate as I took the two coffees in my hand and headed toward the store.

BLAINE

I was thankful that Kurt suggested that we meet up at the grocery store. I needed a few moments to compose myself – and to shower, of course.

Kurt had really surprised me today in more ways than one. The fact that he showed up at my door for an impromptu lunch was incredibly sweet, but the fact that Kurt had been so... forward... really surprised me. I certainly wasn't complaining; Kurt taking charge like that was incredibly hot.

But in the end I was glad that I stopped things before we started really going at it with each other. Holding myself back was probably the hardest thing I'd done in a long time – no pun intended – but knowing how attached I got emotionally once I had sex with someone made me take a pause and step back.

Trying to convey that to Kurt was terrifying. A guy that wasn't wanting to have sex right away probably made me seem a little weird, but in the end he ended up being incredibly understanding and even agreed with me that this was the best route for us.

Could he be any more perfect?

I took the 15 minutes I had promised Kurt to shower quickly and mentally force back images of Kurt taking control of my lips and how I had inadvertently discovered that Kurt was pretty muscular under those shirts of his.

After I re-dressed and brushed my teeth for good measure, I was out the door in exactly 13 minutes and jetted down to the store to meet up with Kurt. When I walked up outside, Kurt was holding a two cups of coffee, one of which he extended out to me as I approached.

"I grabbed you one as well since I figured you probably could use the caffeine boost as well," he said before he took a sip from his own coffee.

"Thanks," I said as I held my coffee to my lips and took a gulp. I was surprised. "How did you know that I like the cinnamon blend?"

He shrugged. "I took a guess. Since it's the holidays, I thought you might enjoy one of their seasonal blends. I also felt weird not ordering a holiday-themed drink for myself, so I ordered one for you instead."

"Well, you got it dead on – it's my favorite. Other than the pumpkin spice, of course."

"Of course," he said with a wink. He took another sip before discarding the empty cup into the waste bin. "So, did you think of what you might want for lunch?"

"Not really. I'll leave it up to you since you're the chef here," I chuckled.

"Oh no, sir. We are going to make whatever we have together. And you're going to finally use that kitchen of yours."

"We should probably take pictures and send them to my mom – she'd never believe that I actually cooked using an oven rather than a George Foreman."

"Photographic evidence can be arranged," he said with a wink. He grabbed my hand and linked his fingers with mine. "Come on, I'm starving."

...

After walking around the store for a few minutes, we decided on a caprese salad with grilled chicken. It was probably more of a spring or summer dish, but this weather threw off the traditional winter menu either of us would have normally gone with.

Kurt had taken charge once we got into the store – mainly because apparently I wasn't very good at picking out produce – and I was happy to fall in line and learn from him about the many tip and secrets to picking out the best of the bunch. He tugged me along as he explained everything to me, and I couldn't help but be mesmerized by him. We walked around the store as Kurt chatted about how to find the best deals and the importance of becoming friends with the grocers since they would tend to lead you toward the hidden gems in the store.

"Blaine, can you go check out the cheeses and see if they have a mozzarella we can work with?"

"Of course," I said, squeezing Kurt's hand to release our grasp. Rather than let go, he pulled me a bit closer and gave me a light peck on the cheek. I flushed at the contact but disentangled my hand from his and proceeded to the dairy section.

After about a minute of looking around – remembering what Kurt said about how to pick the best cheese – I meandered back to the produce section to see my boyfriend deep in thought over the selection of spinach. He held two bundles in his hand and was looking intensely at the leaves as he fanned them out in front of him.

I didn't want to interrupt him so I just stood back and watched him, as he seemed to whisper to himself about the produce in his hand. How did he take something so... boring and make it into a learning experience? How did he make everything he touched seem to glow? Whether it was looking for food in the grocery store or the way that he seemed to make everyone smile, he was a perplexing and incredible guy.

He stuck his tongue out a bit and licked his lips as he laid down one of the bundles and put the other in the basket. The motion caused my breath to hitch; the slight red peeking out between his lush lips seemed to short my brain. It was cute – how his tongue mimicked that of a kitten with its little licks to moisten his lips – but it was also somehow incredibly hot as well.

Apparently the noise from my held breath caused Kurt's attention to focus on me. Once he saw me, the smile on his face brightened the entire store. "What are you looking at?" he joked as he moved down toward the tomatoes.

I smiled in return but soon my feet stopped moving as a realization crossed my mind.

I'm looking at the man I love; my brain seemed to answer in response to Kurt's question.

I nearly choked at the thought.

IloveKurt.

I wasin lovewith Kurt.

And I realized that I was in love with him as he picked out spinach. At the grocery store. Wasn't I supposed to realize I was in love with him over some incredibly romantic dinner at a fancy restaurant after some sort of mind-blowing show or something? The fact that I realized I was in love with Kurt over something so mundane made the situation rather hilarious.

I started laughing, understanding that I seemed like a crazy person for breaking into uncontrollable giggles in the middle of the store, but I didn't care. I knew I was developing those feelings before, but now they were set in stone.

I love Kurt. I was in love with my boyfriend.

"What's so funny?" Kurt questioned, looking slightly uncomfortable at my laughter.

I walked over to him and wrapped my arm around his waist and kissed his jaw. "Nothing. Just thinking of something funny," I replied.

"You're ridiculous," he said as he rolled his eyes, but wrapped his own arm around my back. "Come on, just a few more things then we can head home."

His statement brought a huge smile on my face for two reasons. One, he just referred to my apartment as home. Sure, he probably didn't mean for it to slip, but it was nice for him to refer to my apartment as somewhere that he would call home.

But the second reason it brought a smile to my face is that someday, I hoped he would actually call it home. Maybe not that apartment, but somewhere that we lived – together. One where we could spend rainy afternoons in watching trashy TV and eating takeout, or days preparing for dinner parties for friends, or nights spent in between the sheets – whispering sweet nothings to each other after we were sated for the night.

I wanted it all with him. And hopefully – if he loved me in return – we could one day have it all. Together.