Kurt had been feeling under the weather ever since their visit at the children hospital.

His mind just didn't seem to remember the steps he was supposed to do and his heart just didn't feel it when he sang the song.

So the day before the performance, he went to his coach Leona and told her what was going on.

She was reluctant when he asked her about picking another song but in the end she understood and told him to better not disappoint him.

Kurt promised her he wouldn't and started going immediately going through the right song.

He knew it would be a gamble because there was no time to get training again and get to  learn new steps but it would work. He just knew it would.

Blaine let his hand wander through Kurt's hair from where they were laying on the couch.

It was still early in the morning but they had to leave earlier today to the studio as it was show day.

“You sure you want to do your new song,” Blaine wondered as his finger started twirling a piece of hair.

“Yeah,” Kurt said quietly, “I'm sure about it. It just didn't feel right. If I have to go home for that, than I won't at least regret it.”

Jeff scoffed from where he was sitting next to Nick at the kitchen island. “Please, don't leave us yet. We won't want to hang out with moping Blaine,” Jeff smirked.

Blaine threw a pillow towards him as he rolled his eyes, “very funny Jeff.”

He turned back to Kurt and let his fingers wander over his cheek, “he is right though, I would miss you.”

Kurt smiled softly towards Blaine, carefully taking the hand that was now tracing his neck in his, “and I would miss you too. I would come to every show though and support you guys!”

“You better,” Jeff said with his mouth full.

Kurt pulled up his nose a bit in disgust as Nick rolled his eyes and gave Jeff a napkin.

Blaine just cuddled Kurt a bit closer and pressed a kiss on his forehead, “whatever you'll do, you will be amazing.”

Kurt just closed his eyes and let himself fall in the moment. Hoping he would still be able to cuddle Blaine no matter what the end of the show tonight would decide.

Olly smiled widely as he took place on the stage, “good evening everyone! Tonight we only have 8 candidates left which means it's the light night where 2 candidates get to leave the show! But before we get to that we hope you enjoy the evening.”

The crowd started clapping. “The group had a very special week and we made sure they would tell you all about it but how about we first take a look about what they did.”

The room became dark as the video started playing. The candidates could for once watch from the backstage room and they all gathered around the television screen.

A small video was played with footage from their day at the children hospital. It was a mash up of fragments with all of them like how they entered the hospital and how they posed for pictures and signed stuff for the children.

Olly came back in view and all the candidates started taking their places at the backstage.

“We hope you have an amazing evening. Let's welcome our candidates,” Olly said as he waved towards the side and started making his way off the stage.

Music started playing and the lights dimmed as Luke made his way on the stage. He stood in the middle and took the microphone between his hands as he closed his eyes and let the words fall from his lips.

youll never enjoy your life
living inside the box

Sebastian meanwhile made his way on the stage and stopped right next to him.

youre so afraid of taking chances
how you gonna reach the top

Mercedes and Luna walked on the stage. Mercedes was the first to sing the lyrics

rules and regulations 
force you to play it safe

She nodded to Luna who took over flawlessly.

get rid of all the hesitation 
its time for you to seize the day 

Kurt, Ashley and Roy came up from one side as the Warblers came from the other side. The group spread around the stage as they started singing in harmony.

instead of just sitting around 
and looking down on tomorrow 
you gotta let your feet off the ground 
the time is now

im waiting 
waiting 
just waiting 
im waiting 
waiting outside the lines
waiting outside the lines
waiting outside the lines

The warblers made their way behind the judges as Blaine, Jeff and Nick started to sing together.

try to have no regrets
even if its just tonight

Kurt wasn't sure but when they looked around, Kurt was sure their gaze stayed on him a little longer than on the rest.

Ashley took over and made her way to the side on the stage, looking straight in the camera.

how you gonna walk ahead 
if you keep living behind 

Kurt smiled as the camera zoomed in on him as he pointed towards it and started singing the next lyrics with a soft smile on the face.

stuck in my same position
you deserve so much more

Roy took over the last verse.

theres a whole world around us 
just waiting to be explored 

The group started doing the choreography they had learned as they all sang together.

instead of just sitting around 
and looking down on tomorrow 
you gotta let your feet off the ground 
the time is now

im waiting 
waiting 
just waiting 
im waiting 
waiting outside the lines
waiting outside the lines
waiting outside the lines

youll never enjoy your life 
living inside the box 
youre so afraid of taking chances
how you gonna reach the top

The crowd started applauding in earnest when the group met in the middle and did a groups hug. Well most of them did.

They waved one last time to the crowd before they made their way off the stage.

Kurt had just enough time to give Blaine a thumbs up before he had to make his way towards the backstage as he was the first candidate to perform tonight.

Kurt left his stuff at the backstage and almost ran towards the room where they could all watch the show.

He took a seat on the couch and to his relieve he was just in time for the introduction clip.

Blaine, Jeff and Nick sat next to each other on the couch as they waved to the camera, “hello everyone. We made it another week,” Jeff said proudly as Nick rolled his eyes playfully.

Blaine chuckled, “this week we got the chance to perform at the children hospital.”

Nick grinned widely, “and we loved performing for everyone. We know some of you are watching right now and we want to let you know we had a blast and we'll be coming back!”

Jeff and Blaine both nodded their heads when Nick spoke the words.

Jeff grinned as he threw up his hands, “so now we have to get ready for the performance so you get to see a few clips of us singing at the children hospital.”

Nick slapped Jeff on the head as he started pouting, “dumbass they know we record this before.”

Blaine just started laughing and took the camera in his hand, “forget about those two. Enjoy the performance!”

The video clicked to a short mash up of videos. There was a part of Blaine sitting on the bed with the little guy and learning to play the guitar and footage of the guys, including Kurt, taking pics with children while Jeff and Nick did weird faces.

It was funny to watch and Kurt could see why they had so many fans, not that he had any doubt.

The others finally made their way at the backstage room, Mercedes wearing a knowing grin but she only winked.

Kurt knew one of these day he would need to talk to her but for now he knew she would keep their secret safe.

The little clip stopped playing and the screen showed once again the studio.

Everyone stopped talking and started watching the screen.

On the middle of the stage stood 3 drums and Kurt frowned a bit. Blaine hadn't told him about this.

Jeff, Blaine and Nick stood behind the drums, each wearing sleeveless hoodies and ripped jeans. The hoods were up for all of them and the music started filling the room.

When the first notes started entering the room, Kurt knew this would be great.

They started drumming on the same time as Blaine put his hood down with one hand and started drumming with Nick and Jeff while singing.

Im waking up to ash and dust
I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust
Im breathing in the chemicals

Blaine took a loud breath and they all stopped drumming for a bit. The crowd was already going crazy.

Im breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus
This is it, the apocalypse
Whoa

Jeff and Nick joined in during the bridge.

Im waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my system blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, Im radioactive, radioactive
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, Im radioactive, radioactive

Jeff took over the next part, rapping it instead of singing.

I raise my flag and dye my clothes
Its a revolution, I suppose
Were painted red to fit right in
Whoa

Nick took over the next part, also rapping it.

Im breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus
This is it, the apocalypse
Whoa

Blaine started joining once again as they all started doing tricks while drumming.

Im waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my system blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, Im radioactive, radioactive
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, Im radioactive, radioactive

The whole room went quiet as they all stopped drumming. Blaine started singing powerfully in the microphone as Nick and Jeff made their way towards Blaine.

All systems go, the sun hasnt died
Deep in my bones, straight from inside

They all started drumming on the same drum while switching sticks in between. It was very good if you asked Kurt, and also quite sexy.

Im waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my system blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, Im radioactive, radioactive
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, Im radioactive, radioactive

They all took their drum sticks and went to the side of the stage, giving a few lucky fans one of their drum sticks.

Kurt was sure some of them would never let go of it.

The guys made their way towards Olly who was smirking as the crowd kept on applauding.

“Now that was an amazing performance guys,” Olly grinned as all of them got a normal microphone.

Blaine tapped on it playfully before he answered, “thank you Olly. We really had a blast performing.”

“Let's hear what the judges think about it,” Olly said as he waved towards the judges.

Leona started waving her papers to her like she was having it too hot, “now that guys was a performance. You can't do that to the girls.”

They all started chuckling as Nona took over, “Leona is absolutely right. I'm sure we'll see you guys next week!”

Dean nodded his head, “you guys are bringing something new and fresh and you are our only group left. If it wasn't illegal I would be betting my money on you guys for the finals.”

Jeff whooped and gave Nick and Blaine a high five.

Even Michael seemed ok with the performance, “I think it was smart to play the drums on the stage. It fitted perfectly for the song.”

The guys smiled widely as they turned to Olly before they had another applause and made their way of the stage while waving to the fans.

Kurt smiled proudly as he watched Olly come back on the screen. At least one of them would be safe tonight.

Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand once more before he made his way towards the backstage. He took his microphone and put his earpiece in as he walked around a bit, letting his mind calm down.

He was nervous for tonight. Not because he had rehearsed it so less, no that wasn't the problem.

He was nervous because he didn't know how the crowd would react.

Would they ever grow tired of hearing him sing personal songs or was that just what they liked about him?

He didn't know but the song he was going to sing tonight was probably the most personal song he had sung on the show.

It was a song he had heard on the radio a few years ago when he started appreciating music. It had reminded him of his mum and he had rewritten is to match his situation.

It was the first time it was going to be performed. The first time his dad was going to hear it.

It was safe to say it made him feel very nervous.

The crowd shouted to get his attention and waved him over.

Kurt could hear himself speaking as he waited at the backstage.

“Hi everyone. As you guys probably know by now we went to the children hospital. I hold so many good memories of the visit but there is one I will remember forever,” he heard himself say as he took a deep breath, “there was this girl called Lora. She is a strong little lady who is battling cancer right now. She is so brave for fighting it and keeping positive. Lora reminded me about my mom. Unfortunately she did lose the battle. Ever since our visit, my mind has gone back to my mum over and over again and it made me second guess my song. So yesterday I decided to do what felt right and change my song. Tonight I want to sing a song to my mum because she has been on my mind all week. This one is for her.”

The crew didn't put any after footage on it as it didn't seem appropriate so Kurt was called on the stage and took a seat behind the piano once again.

Oh if you could see me now
Oh if you could see me now

It was February fourteen, Valentines Day
The roses came, but they took you away
Tattooed on my heart is a charm to disarm all the harm
Gotta keep myself calm but the truth is youre gone
And Ill never get to show you these songs
Mum, you should see the shows that Im on, 
I see you standing there next to God
Always singing along, yeah arm in arm
And there are days when Im losing my faith
Because the Woman wasnt good she was great
Shed say music was the home for your pain
And explain, I was young, she would say
"Take that rage, put it on a page
Take the page to the stage
Blow the roof off the place"
Im tryna make you proud
Do everything you did
I hope youre up there with God
Saying thats my kid

I still look for your face in the crowd
Oh if you could see me now
Oh if you could see me now
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow
Oh if you could see me now
Oh if you could see me now

Kurt opened his eyes for a moment as he started playing the keys. He smiled softly as he though back about the memories he did have.

If you could see me now would you recognise me
Would you pat me on the back or would you criticise me
Would you follow every line on my tear stained face
Put your hand on a heart thats was cold
As the day you were taken away
I know its been awhile but I could see you clear as day
Right now, I wish I could hear you say
I think too much and I don't have too much trust
But if you cant see me now that shits a must
You used to say I wont know I will until it cost me
Like I wont know real love till Ive loved then Ive lost it
And if youve lost a sister, someones lost a mom
And if youve lost a dad, then someones lost a son
And theyre all missing now, and theyre all missing now
So if you get a second to look down at me now
Mum, Im just missing you now

I still look for your face in the crowd
Oh if you could see me now
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow?
Oh if you could see me now

I still look for your face in the crowd
Oh if you could see me now
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow?
Oh if you could see me now

Oh... 
You could see, you could see me now

Kurt let out a long breath as he wiped away a lonely tear and made his way towards Olly while the crowd clapped quietly.

“That was really brave thing to do you for you, Kurt to sing a song that personal to you,” Olly said as he wrapped him in a sideway hug.

Kurt smiled softly, “I hope one way or another she did see it and enjoyed it.”

They turned towards the judges as Leona started talking first, “I have to be honest here. When you came to me and told me you didn't feel the song and wanted to chance it yesterday, I was beyond worried. But you blew me away Kurt. I'm very glad I let you change it. I see now why you wanted to change it and I think it was the right choice.”

Kurt nodded his head gratefully as he watched Leona stand up and walk towards him on her high heels before she wrapped him into a hug, “I'm so proud of you,” she said in his ear before she let go and made her way back to her chair.

Dean looked towards Leona as he started talking, “I'm also glad you let him change it. Kurt I think you perform your best when the song means something to you and that's who you are as an artist. I'm sure you will inspire many more with what you do.”

Kurt smiled gratefully as he looked towards Michael, “I think you did a good performance. Well done Kurt.”

Kurt nodded towards him. Knowing Michael was the toughest of all of them.

Nona smiled towards him, “I think she is proud Kurt. Wherever she has been watching.”

Kurt swallowed the lump in his throat as he smiled towards her as well, “thank you.”

Olly asked him if he wanted to add something more but Kurt shook his head, “no not really. I just want to thank Leona once more for letting me pick another song. I'm glad I didn't disappoint you.”

Leona put her hand over her heart dramatically, trying to lighten the mood a bit, “you wouldn't dare.”

Kurt let out a soft chuckle, “I'm glad you are my coach.”

A few people in the crowd awed as Kurt waved towards them all once more and made his way to the backstage, ready to get back to Blaine.

Blaine was already waiting for Kurt in the hallway, linking the backstage room with the room where all of them watched the show.

Kurt let himself be wrapped into a tight hug as he let himself fall into the warmth he has grown to love.

“You were amazing up there Kurt. I'm sure she is very proud,” Blaine whispered softly as he pressed a kiss against his hair. “and so am I. How did I get so lucky to find someone like you?”

Kurt looked up and cracked a half smile as he shrugged, “I guess we both got lucky, didn't we?”

All reservations left Blaine as he leaned forward and kissed Kurt's lips softly, “I guess we both did.”

It was that time of the show again where all of them would stand in a row next to each other with their coaches standing behind them.

Kurt always felt nervous when he stood there, never knowing who would go home.

Olly got the envelope with the names that would be going through and opened it slowly. So far Leona was the only team left with all her group members still left but Kurt was sure things were going to change.

Olly took out the paper and started reading the names carefully, “all names will be announced in no certain order. Let's start with the first one for tonight.”

The lights dimmed and all of them started looking around nervously.

“The first candidate that will made it to our fourth live show and to our last 6 candidates is,” he started. The room grew quiet and it seemed to last forever, “Luna congratulations!”

Luna let out a squeal and hugged her coach Dean and Mercedes before she ran towards the backstage.

“We already made one candidate very happy. Our next Sensation to go through will be,” Olly said as he let another long pause. “Kurt Hummel.”

Kurt let out a long sigh, happy that he had taken the risk and made it to another week. He couldn't help it as a tear escaped his eye and started rolling down his cheek. Leona started chuckling as she saw it and put her hands on his shoulders, “You did amazing this week Kurt.”

They hugged for a moment before Kurt joined Luna. Luna wrapped him into a hug and didn't lit go as they watched anxiously who else would go through.

Much to Kurt's dismay, Sebastian had made it to another week and to his surprise Luke did as well. Which meant that Leona would hold another week as coach with all her candidates left.

It also meant that right now the warblers, Ashley and Mercedes were the only candidates left on stage which meant Kurt would have to say bye to at least one of his friends.

He was sure he almost squeezed Luna her hand as he waited on the answer in fear.

“Our last candidate to make it to our 4th live show will be,” he started. The pause seemed to last on and on and Kurt held his breath as he waited for the name to be called.

Quietly crossing his fingers of his free hand behind his back.