When Kurt came home after he'd parted from Blaine he just wanted to drop onto his bed and cry and forget about the world. Forget about the fact that he was the one who would make sure that he'd never see Blaine again, never feel his warm touch or hear his soothing voice again.

There was only one thing keeping him from doing just that - or a certain someone, to be more exact. Of course Rachel sat in his kitchen, waiting for him, a knowing expression on her face. Feeling too resigned and fed up with the world to even try to avoid her Kurt just - very uncharacteristically - slumped into the seat opposite from her. Sighing, he buried his head in his arms, trying his hardest not to burst into tears at the kitchen table. That would be plain pathetic.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Rachel whispered, hand carefully resting on his arm as if she expected him to lash out at her. Kurt couldn't reproach her for it. He didn't even know how he was going to react to anything himself anymore. His life had been turned around completely and up until now he couldn't honestly say that it was for the better.

Kurt raised his head hesitantly, gathering the courage to look at her without breaking down. He didn't fully succeed but at least he was looking at her. The tears running down his cheeks were negligible.

"Oh honey. What is happening with you?" Her gentle words and the way she caressed his cheek with the back of her hand reminded him so much of his mother he couldn't help but start to outright sob.

"I don't know," he choked out inbetween sobs strong enough to wrack his whole frame and steal his breath. "I just... Why do I have to be the one to drive him away from me?"

Within an instant, Rachel was at his side, wrapping her arms around him and holding him together as he fell apart. Her cold touch was strangely comforting and Kurt clung to her as if his life depended on it. Maybe it did. He felt he was going insane with everything happening at once. He wasn't even 16, for goodness' sake. The things he felt for Blaine would be confusing enough on their own without him being a ghost who'd died ten years ago. Without the fact that Kurt was supposed to help both him and Rachel without really knowing what he was doing. Without him being tormented at school every single day.

Rachel just held him, whispering soothing words into his hair and slightly rocking him back and forth until he had calmed down enough to breathe again.

"Sorry for that," he hiccuped, slowly pulling out of her arms. "I should be taking care of your problems, not the other way round."

"It's okay," she assured him, smiling gently. "I get it. Life is hard for you and you're still so young, I don't even know how you handle all of that. Just to make sure we're on the same page... this is about Blaine, isn't it?"

Kurt just nodded, staring holes into the kitchen table. "How did you know?"

"I've been talking to him and he told me how you offered to help him, too. He sounded so enthusiastic and he couldn't shut up about you. And he told me you'd been having coffee right before you went home yesterday so I sort of assumed it anyway. As far as I'm aware you're not getting on well with anyone in school and I wasn't under the impression that you got along well with Sebastian, so that left Blaine. It also explained why you didn't want to tell me," she explained, still gently patting his hair.

"You're not going to judge me?" Kurt whispered, afraid of the answer. It just felt so good to have someone to talk to. Someone who he didn't have to hide anything from.

"Of course not, honey. It's very understandable. I mean, Blaine is a very dashing young man, ghost or not," she assured him. "What are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing," Kurt replied with a sigh. "Because it does matter that he's a ghost. He deserves more than to be tied to this life when he shouldn't even be here anymore. I'll do everything I can to help him move on. My feelings don't change anything, Rachel. They shouldn't."

"But maybe they do." Kurt turned to look at her, not sure what she wanted to say. Rachel just smiled at him. "What if he's feeling the same way about you?"

Kurt just stared at her, trying to wrap his mind around the idea of Blaine being attracted to him in some way. He honestly couldn't imagine it. "Rachel, that's ridiculous. What even made you think that?"

"Why would that be ridiculous? You're adorable, incredibly nice and very stylish," she insisted.

"Now you're just trying to buy me," Kurt laughed, shaking his head. "Rachel, I'm pretty sure Blaine doesn't have feelings for me. And even if he did they would change nothing. I wouldn't want him to be stuck here because of me."

Rachel grinned at him. "I'm not trying to buy you. You're the first person to actually be friendly with me since long before I died. And you have remarkable fashion sense. From what I gathered in our conversations Blaine is at least a little bit smitten with you. You'd be worth sticking around for, you know that, right?"

Kurt swallowed hard, trying to suppress a new bout of tears. "I really want to hug you right now. Can I?" he asked, voice thick. He didn't want to exhaust her. Being solid for long spans of time wasn't a walk in a park for a ghost.

"Always," was all she said, spreading her arms wide so he could settle in them.

"So you won't mind if I whine to you about this all the time?" he whispered into her neck, the cold of her arms around him feeling comfortable, safe.

"Not at all," she laughed into his hair. "As long as you promise to put up with my more... theatrical moods."

"Always," he whispered back, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Maybe things would be okay. He could do that. He could accompany Blaine tomorrow and do his job. As long as he didn't think too hard about the fact that he'd have to lose Rachel as well, in the end.