After that incident, Kurt could never seem to find ways to communicate with Blaine anymore. Rachel refused to play the messenger for him (besides, she wasn't even sure if Blaine wouldn't stop talking to her the moment she mentioned Kurt's name because that obviously was what it had come down to) and he no longer had the opportunity to search McKinley for him. He avoided Kurt's house and Kurt just didn't know what to do with himself anymore.

First of all, he wasn't even sure what had caused Blaine to pull away like that. He'd never mentioned the actual cause for the abrupt end of their friendship. Yeah, it had something to do with Cooper, but that was about everything he got out of their last catastrophic conversation. And then there was the fact that even the week they hadn't talked to each other hadn't prepared Kurt for the painful feeling of loss that was the mere notion of not having Blaine around, perhaps never again.

One would think he'd prepared himself better than this... After all, their whole relationship was built on the fact that Kurt was supposed to be the one to help Blaine leave this world for good. He shouldn't be this dependent on his friendship and he certainly shouldn't feel this helpless and lost and empty without him. Because there was no way he could ever keep Blaine to himself, even if they both wanted to.

Matter of fact was that it hurt regardless of what Kurt tried to tell himself he should feel, though. He would give everything to get Blaine back into his life, even if it was only temporary. He had felt it before but only now that he was faced with the reality of losing it did he realize how much Blaine's friendship had come to mean to him. Although the fact that he was hopelessly in love with him probably didn't help matters along.

The days between the end of school and Christmas Day were spent in painful confusion and more emotions than Kurt knew how to deal with. One moment he would be angry to the point of furious, at himself, the world, fate, Blaine. Sometimes even Burt's comforting words and helpless tries to make him feel better did nothing to soothe that anger. He'd positively burst with aggressive energy, cleaning the house for hours, stress-baking, running. Whatever he could possibly think of.

The next moment, though, he'd be horribly depressed, weighed down by the knowledge that he would lose Blaine anyway, whether he got him back now or not. He'd curl up on the couch or his bed with ice cream and cry into the blankets while watching sad movies or trashy reality TV. When Burt was lucky, he'd get a weak, grateful smile for his efforts when he finally got home from a long day at work. If not Kurt would just ignore his existence when he was in one of his moods.

The fact that Kurt basically spent his days all by himself, left to his musings and not much else, didn't really make things any better. Rachel hadn't come by to talk to him once and Kurt wasn't sure if it was because she felt guilty that she couldn't/wouldn't talk to him about what was going on with Blaine or if it was because she was just as fed up with him. Who knew, maybe she never wanted to talk to him again as well, for no obvious reason.

It's the evening of the 25th when Kurt first got the idea. He'd been sitting in an armchair staring out of the window while Burt slowly fell asleep on the couch while watching some movie or other Kurt couldn't really bring himself to pay attention to. Upon watching the snowflakes slowly making their way down to the ground, he was struck by the realization that in this very moment, Blaine, Rachel and Sebastian where sitting somewhere in the deserted halls and rooms of McKinley, maybe not even together but on their own, forced to spend the holiday with no one for company but each other and a school building empty of life at its best.

Watching his father sleep peacefully on the couch, a plan started to form in his head. As much as he couldn't stand Sebastian and was anything but sure about his current standing with either Rachel or Blaine, Kurt didn't wish any of them a lonely, spiritless Christmas as he pictured theirs to be. True, he wasn't really religious, but for him, Christmas was a holiday for the family. Not important because of presents or something written down in a book centuries ago. But because of the memories he'd made with his mother, with both of his parents, back when happiness hadn't been as rare as it was these days in the Hummel household. There had been a certain atmosphere to it and ever since his mother had left them, Kurt had tried his best to recreate it.

Granted, his efforts had waned a bit these last few years, as the relationship with his father got more complicated. But that was the course of life. It didn't mean that Burt loved him less or that Kurt loved his father less. It just meant that things weren't as easy as they had been when he'd been a kid. Growing up was difficult and it rendered a lot of things that used to be simple and easy a lot more complicated.

Sometimes, though, all these new experiences also made things clearer. Like now. The - potential - loss of Blaine brought back so many memories of losing his mother so many years ago. The pain had dulled so much and everything had been changing so fast that sometimes, Kurt just needed to stop and be smacked in the face with the realization that he did have one parent left and that he should savor every moment with his father, even if he wanted to snap at him or could think of nothing but leaving this town behind as quickly as possible.

Thus, he'd talked Burt into turning down all and every demand for an appointment the following day so they could enjoy Christmas Day together the way they hadn't been able to for years. But tonight he'd let his father sleep. They had tomorrow. Tonight was reserved for other people - people who sort of were his responsibility no matter how much they hated or avoided him. And he wasn't about to leave them alone to spend Christmas Eve on their own in a snowed-in, deserted high school. Carefully, draping a blanket over Burt's snoring form, Kurt tiptoed down into his room - where he'd stored all the left-over Christmas decoration until they'd pack it all up again after the holidays, knowing that if he wasn't in charge Burt would probably get out the tacky cut out reindeers he'd made when he was five or drown the living room in tinsel - picked up the items he felt were necessary for his mission and sneaked out of the house.

Breaking into McKinley was actually even easier than he had thought it would be. It wasn't all that hard to overcome the voice in the back of his head that scolded him for breaking the law after he'd walked almost an hour in the biting cold and the act itself didn't pose any difficulties, either. Rather it got Kurt seriously worried about the questionable security of his school. It took him less than five minutes to pick the lock of one of the side entrances and quicker than he'd hoped for he was roaming the empty halls, trying to catch a glimpse of Rachel or even Sebastian. He wasn't sure if he was ready to confront Blaine should he run into him.

After a few minutes of fruitless wandering, Kurt decided that it wouldn't hurt to give the auditorium a quick look. Both Rachel and Blaine tended to be there quite often in order to sing and if they had decided to celebrate together, it would make a much better meeting point than the empty classrooms. He was about to just walk in through the front doors when he heard Rachel's voice.

"No, seriously, Blaine. Just tell us why you didn't want Kurt to find out about Cooper. I mean, he didn't seem upset about it or anything and to be honest, I'm sick and tired of avoiding him over some problem you have with your brother. I'd like to spend Christmas with my best friend, you know," she huffed. Obviously, that wasn't her first try to get Blaine to talk.

"What, you don't want to spend the holidays in an empty, filthy public school? You surprise me, Miss Berry," Sebastian muttered under his breath, sitting on Blaine's other side, all three of them dangling their legs from the stage.

"You're not helping, Sebastian. And you know very well that that isn't what this is about. If you have nothing else to contribute to the conversation then maybe you should just leave," Rachel hissed at him, leaning over Blaine to get into Sebastian's personal space.

"Guys," Blaine sighed, obviously exasperated, grabbing both of them by the shoulder and pushing them back into their original sitting positions. "Could you please stop bickering for five minutes."

Sebastian and Rachel just stared at each other with narrowed eyes for a few minutes, but neither of them said a word and finally, they turned to look away and motioned for Blaine to continue.

"To answer your question, Rachel... I might be a bit embarrassed over the actual reason I got so mad at Kurt for finding out..."

"Just get it out, squirt. You're being overly dramatic." Sebastian playfully elbowed him in the ribs and Blaine offered him an actual smile, albeit a weak one. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and started to speak, his friends hanging on his every word.

"Okay... Remember that you asked for this. And that I'll be cross with you for quite some time if either of you starts laughing at me for this." He paused for a moment as if expecting them to say something in response but they just stayed silent. "Fine. I guess I should go back a bit in time for the story to make sense....

"First of all, you need to know that Coop is a lot older than me. And when I say a lot, I mean a lot. As in, we're more than ten years apart. So when I grew up I naturally looked up to him. He was my hero and no one's criticism hit me as hard as his. But when I was a kid he was already a teenager and no fifteen year old wants his baby brother to follow him around all the time. So naturally, he pushed me away. I didn't understand why he did at the time and things have always been really tense between us since then.

"When I became older and brought friends home, Cooper would always charm them. He'd never heard of the word 'privacy' or at least that's how it would appear. He always came walking into my room when someone was over and well, what can I say? He was the cool older brother and most of the time, I ended up losing friends to my big brother whenever I brought them home.

"It only got worse with time. When I was fifteen Coop was already wreaking havoc in L.A., starting on his first few minor roles. Whenever he'd come home for a visit it would always end up in tears for me. He continued charming all my friends, who didn't waste a second thought on the slightly nerdy dork of a younger brother when there was the cool, attractive aspiring actor around to talk to, and every word exchanged between my brother and my father used to be an argument so the atmosphere at home didn't really get any better when he came to visit.

"Basically, I grew up to resent my own brother. Every time he'd come home he'd be able to show some kind of success and no matter how little my father thought of his choice of career, everyone else was all over him for it. I was always pushed to the side, deemed unimportant next to him. And maybe... Maybe I didn't want Kurt to find out about Cooper because... Nothing against the two of you, but Kurt is the best friend I've ever had. He just gets me in ways no one else ever has and... I've been afraid that all our conversations would turn around my brother if he found out."

After finishing his speech, Blaine fixed his eyes on a spot on the floor, not daring to look up and see his friends' reaction just yet.

"And when you walked in on me and Kurt cooing over Cooper-" Rachel whispered, guilt written all over her face. Blaine just nodded. Before any of them could say more, Kurt decided that it was time to make his presence known. Clearing his throat more loudly than strictly necessary, he stepped out of the shadows he'd been hidden in up until now, gently putting down the bag he'd carried with him before he turned to face the three ghosts in front of him.

Rachel took one look at his expression before smiling at him and hopping off the stage, grabbing Sebastian's sleeve on her way down.

"Hey, what-" but Sebastian's protests were cut off by Rachel pulling him rather forcefully out of the auditorium while Blaine and Kurt remained frozen in their spots, eyes locked and unshed tears glistening.

"I think we have to talk," Kurt finally whispered into the heavy silence between them, slowly making his way down the stairs, hoping Blaine wouldn't run like he had the last time.

He didn't, and when Kurt sat down next to him on the stage, he turned towards him, offering him a barely there smile. "That we do."