I Hate That I Love You
gagaforklaine
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I Hate That I Love You: Chapter 8


E - Words: 1,823 - Last Updated: Feb 17, 2023
Story: Closed - Chapters: 15/? - Created: Jun 25, 2012 - Updated: Feb 17, 2023
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Blaine was a nervous wreck. He tried to calm himself in the cab ride over to the restaurant but failed to no avail. He was concerned to see Kurt again, he didn’t know what to expect. He hoped that they would have a nice dinner, catch up and maybe get on the road to being friends again. He missed Kurt; he missed talking to him, laughing with him.

He missed everything about him.

He had spent a better part of the afternoon trying to pick out an outfit. He knew Kurt was into fashion, so he didn’t want to show up in his usual jeans and shirt. So he finally ended up choosing some dark snug fitting pants, and a light lavender button-up with a dark purple tie. He forgoes his usual bowtie because Wes often called him “grandfather hobbit” which he resented. He had just gotten his haircut so he just put a little gel to control the curls.

So now he was standing outside the restaurant he was a few minutes early, he took a deep breath to calm his nerves and headed inside.

The hostess greeted him and told him that his table would be ready soon, and asked him if he wanted to wait at the bar, he said thanks and headed over and had a seat. He ordered a drink and waited. The bar was quite crowded so he hopes their table would be ready and that Kurt would be there soon.

He was disrupted from his thoughts he heard a loud musical laugh that he recognize and looked over to the other end of the bar. Kurt was leaning sideways with his elbow resting on the bar facing away from him. He was currently talking to a very handsome man with brown eyes and dark hair. The man was smiling at Kurt, obviously flirting with him. Blaine could feel a pang of something he couldn’t describe bubbling inside him as he saw the man laughing at whatever Kurt had said.

“KURT!” he yelled his name to get his attention, then he felt a little embarrassed as some of the patrons looked at him oddly at his random outburst.

Kurt looked around when he heard his name and finally spotted Blaine. His blue eyes met his hazel ones, He smiled and gave him a little wave. Blaine grabbed his drink and started to head toward him. He saw Kurt leaning over to the man’s ears and whispering something, the man blushed looking a little flustered. The man handed Kurt a card he took it placed it in his shirt pocket, winked at the man, and headed towards Blaine. The man shamelessly stared at Kurt as he walked away.

Again Blaine ignored the feeling inside him toward the display he had just seen, and wondered about the model Kurt had left with the last time he saw him, he thought maybe it was his boyfriend. But he guessed he was wrong. He decided to push his feelings away, to not ruin his mood, and smiled as Kurt approached him.

Kurt looked perfect like he always did. He was wearing black dress pants a white button-up with a grey vest and a skinny tie. His head of chestnut hair was perfectly styled as always. Blaine felt a flutter in his chest as looked at Kurt.

“Hello”

“Hi”

They both stood in front of each other as they took the other in. they smiled at each other for a few moments before the hostess interrupted them, and took them to their table.

-----------------------

After they had both ordered their food and decided to split a bottle of wine. They sat in awkward silence. Blaine didn’t know how to start. There was a giant pink elephant in the room but he didn’t know if he should bring it up if that was going to make things more uncomfortable and awkward.

So he decided on small talk.
“So how have you been, we didn’t get to talk last time.” He hopes that was at least a start.

Kurt looked up, clearly lost in his thoughts before Blaine spoke “oh, I’m doing good, how have you been?”

“Good also, just trying to stay busy…” he hated the awkwardness, conversations between them were never this hard and Blaine hated it before they were able to talk for hours about everything.

“I would say you’ve been far from busy, mister I’m a superstar now,” he said teasingly.

Blaine blushed; he still thought it weird to consider himself a superstar even with all his success.

“Speak for yourself. I’m sure you’ll be dressing New York’s most elite soon”

Kurt laughed “hardly, even if I’m quite fabulous,” he said with a cocky smile.

Again they sat in silence before their food was brought out.

“So did you live in Paris the whole time you were gone?” Blaine asked as he tried the conversation going.

“yeah, I did visit a lot of places but Paris was my home, I loved it there, and I miss it, but it's good to be back in New York though, I guess this has always been my real home”

Kurt answered as he cut into his salad.

Blaine nodded as chewed on his salad.

“So how did you get your big break? I mean I always knew you make it, but how did it happen?”

Blaine smiled at the compliment “well I did a lot of small venues, and then I met with this producer Kevin at a party James took me to. We immediately clicked and he asked me to send him some demos, he liked it so we started working together, I wrote some songs for some other artist and then he decided it was time for me to take out my album” he shrugs “it did better than I ever expected it to”

Kurt raised an eyebrow at him “don’t sell yourself short Blaine, you’re talented and I’m not surprised the rest of the world saw it too”

Blaine could feel his heart fill with pride with what Kurt said, it meant the world to him.

“Umh, I…thanks that means a lot to me” they both smiled at each other as they continued to eat.

“Did you listen to the album?” he said hopefully.

“No, I haven’t gotten a chance to”

Blaine’s mood fell, Kurt hadn’t listened to it. It hurt more than it should of.

After that their conversation flowed effortlessly. They talked about their jobs and what they had been doing; they talked about their families and what they had been up to. Kurt found out that cooper had gotten married to a nurse he met when he had ended up in the hospital after he tried to jump off one of the fire escapes in his building because he and Wes and David were drunk. They both laughed, Kurt, saying he could picture cooper drunk and trying to hit on a nurse with a broken arm and ankle.

After their laughter subsided, Blaine felt happy that they were able to talk like they used to when they were best friends.

“I missed this” Blaine blurted out.

Kurt’s eyes looked at him like a deer caught in headlights; before he looked down to avoid his gaze. Blaine could feel the tension rolling off Kurt with his simple statement.

“I know this is hard, but I wish I could be like it used to be between us,” Blaine said.
Kurt stared at him for a second before he took a sip from his wine and sighed heavily “I doubt it could be like that.”

Blaine looked at him in surprise, the coldness in his voice making Blaine feel like a child asking if they could be friends again and being turned down. He decided to take a chance.

“I just wished things between us would have ended the way they did. I thought when I came back we could have talked about it, but you left and I had no way of finding you” he said sadly.

“It ended that way because it had to. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, but at the time I was worried about protecting mine” he said simply.

“I…I understand, but I wished you wouldn’t have just cut me out of your life” he wasn’t sure now if it had been a good idea to bring it up. He hated not knowing how everything was going to turn out.

“well we have to do what we must be happy, you got married and I saw a better future, I left what was unimportant, it was getting in the way,” he said with a shrug of his shoulder, his icy tone still in his voice.

Kurt’s words stabbed him in the heart; he was implying that their friendship hadn’t been important. He thought about all the moments he had shared with Kurt throughout their friendship. All memories that Blaine kept close to his heart. They had meant nothing to Kurt. He was feeling a little betrayed. He couldn’t possibly mean it. He thought it was

Kurt’s way to protect himself. He had built walls and Blaine was not going to let him hide behind them, but he thought this wasn’t the moment to push further. If this dinner went well then he would have the opportunity to get Kurt to open up later.

“I understand, don’t worry about it. It’s just me and my wishful thinking, you know how I am, I get sentimental.” He gave Kurt a forced smile hoping he couldn’t see how hurt he was.

Kurt looked at him for a moment; Blaine could see his eyes turn blue/green shade. Blaine knew he was getting upset and possibly mad. So he decided to drop the subject.

“So have you seen Rachel?” Blaine asked a little more cheerily.

Kurt took another sip of his wine “yes, I did she came to the studio to find me.”

Blaine smiled picturing Rachel storming in and demanding to see Kurt. “Dramatic as ever huh?

Kurt smiled “yeah something never change”

They both finished their meals and decided against dessert. They talked about random things, not bringing up anything personal anymore.

They paid and both were now standing outside the restaurant saying their goodbyes.

“It was nice to see you, Blaine,” Kurt said formally.

“It was nice to see you too; I meant it when I said I missed this”

Kurt just nodded.

“We need to do this again call me if you want”

Blaine could tell that Kurt wasn’t entirely comfortable being around him, he could tell by his voice and his demeanor. He decided to take a risk. He leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his cheek.

“Goodnight Kurt”

He didn’t wait for his reaction, he just turned around and started walking down the cold and empty New York Street and headed home. Unaware of the photographer standing across the street.

End Notes:

so next update will be next week.on a side notethere will be smut in future chapters (not anytime soon though ;( just to warn you guys. thats why its a M rating.in other exciting news. 


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please update soon! i freakin love this :)