Sept. 5, 2012, 8:26 p.m.
I Hate That I Love You: Chapter 4
E - Words: 2,690 - Last Updated: Feb 17, 2023 Story: Closed - Chapters: 15/? - Created: Jun 25, 2012 - Updated: Feb 17, 2023 945 0 1 0 0
hopefully your still enjoying. thanks again for reading.
To say the backstage was chaotic was an understatement. It was full of models, photographers, journalists,
and celebrities. It felt like the whole fashion industry was at Kurt’s show.
Blaine and Wes decided to head backstage after they had both gotten over the shock of seeing Kurt
again. They both didn’t know what to say to each other, so they just sat there until Wes suggested going
backstage and maybe trying to talk to him.
When they got there, they immediately saw Kurt surrounded by people. Again Blaine was still in
disbelief that his best friend was standing there in front of him.
“This is so weird” Wes had broken the silence as he also stared at Kurt.
“He looks really good” Blaine didn’t know what to say, but Kurt did look really good. He always
thought Kurt was gorgeous, but three years had only made him more breathtaking. His skin was still
perfect porcelain, and his hair a little shorter, but still a rich chestnut. His body still had a soft delicacy
but was more muscular, his shoulders and arms broader.
But what Blaine notice the most was the way Kurt carried himself as he talked to the photographers. He
had an air of confidence and superiority that he had never seen in Kurt.
“Hello, are you two fans of the designer?” a silky voice with a British accent came from behind them.
They both turned around to see it was the woman they had seen with Kurt on the runway. She was tall,
taller than Kurt, she was wearing a tight blue dress and her auburn hair was tied in a soft bun on top of
her head which only made her look taller next to himself and Wes. The woman was gorgeous.
Blaine looked over at Wes, who had practically started drooling over the woman. Blaine elbowed Wes so
he could close his mouth.
Blaine decided to answer “yes, the show was wonderful”
The woman smiled at Blaine and extended out her hand. ”Rebecca” Blaine took her hand and shook it
“Blaine, Blaine Anderson”
Rebecca’s eyes widen for a second. “The Blaine Anderson, I loved your album”
“Thank you, it’s always nice to hear that”
“Well it is quite excellent” they both stood in silence for a moment.
”do you know the designer?”
“Well actually…”
“KURT!” they both looked around and saw Wes heading towards Kurt, before Kurt had time to react, he
was being lifted into a bone-crushing hug by Wes.
“OH MY GOD, WES PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!” Kurt was yelling a Wes, but you could hear Kurt’s
laughter as Wes spins him around.
Both Rebecca and Blaine had walked over to the commotion, Rebecca with an amused but confused
look on her face.
“Kurtie, I missed you so much!” Wes had still not let go of Kurt.
Kurt laughed as he hugged Wes back. “I missed you too Wes”
“Wes I think you can let him go now before you suffocate him” Blaine chuckled as both looked over at
Blaine standing next to Rebecca.
Wes let go of Kurt and straightened his jacket as Kurt did the same with his shirt.
Both men looked at each other for a moment before they spoke.
“Hi” Kurt spoke first.
“Hey” Blaine didn’t know what else to say. They hadn’t spoken in three years and ‘hey’ was the best he
could come up with. They continued to stare at each other; the moment was over when they were
interrupted by Wes hitting Kurt with his planner.
“WHAT THE HELL WES!” Kurt tried to shield himself a Wes continued to hit him.
“That’s what” SMACK ”you get” SMACK ”for just leaving” SMACK “and not staying in touch” SMACK!
“Ouch, that hurt,” Kurt said as he rubbed the spot on his arm Wes had hit.
“Well I’m a little hurt also, Kurt,” Wes said a little sad.
“Can someone tell me what’s going on, I’m a little confused, should I call security Kurt?” Rebecca finally
spoke up as she watched the exchange.
“Rebecca do not worry, I know this goofball.” Kurt smiled at Wes
“Rebecca this is Wesley, and this is Blaine, we went to high school together,” Kurt said.
“Yes we had the pleasure of meeting a moment ago,” she said with a smile.
A girl with short brown hair came behind Rebecca and whispered in her ear and then walked away “well
it seems like I am needed in the dressing room” she looked at Kurt “I’ll make sure everything gets back to
the studio.” She gave Kurt a ‘we will be discussing this later look and turned to Blaine and Wes “well
gentlemen, it was nice meeting you, hopefully, we will be seeing each other soon”
“I hope so too” Wes took her hand in his and kissed it lightly, startling Rebecca before she blushed at the
gesture.
Both Kurt and Blaine rolled their eyes at Wes attempt to flirt with Rebecca.
“Well, uhm, so, yes, nice to meet you,” she said a little flustered.
“Nice to meet you too,” Blaine said as she went over to Kurt and kissed him on each cheek before she
headed toward the dressing rooms.
“I think I’m in love,” Wes said as he stared at the door Rebecca had disappeared to.
Both Kurt and Blaine laughed at Wes as their friend look longingly at the space Rebecca had disappeared
to.
They both realized that the other was still there, and felt the awkwardness again. Blaine wanted to hug
Kurt so bad like Wes had done, but he wasn’t sure it was a good idea.
Wes was brought back from his trance when his phone started ringing “hello? Yes, this is him….yes; hold
on let me go outside…” Wes looked at Kurt and Blaine “sorry I need to take this, I’ll be right back.” With
that, he exited the tent and went outside,
Blaine and Kurt were now standing alone in awkward silence before Blaine decided to break it.
“So, I loved the show…” Blaine couldn’t come up with anything to say other than that, he didn’t
think ‘so you disappear out of my life for three years and then I had to find out you back in New York by
running into you at your fashion show’ would go over really well.
Kurt looked like he became tense after Rebecca and Wes had left, any hint of humor or happiness gone
in an instant. ”well, I worked hard on it.”
Blaine was a little hurt that Kurt was acting so cold towards him, after years of them being so close and
comfortable with each other , they never had trouble having a conversation, but that was before their
friendship had gone to hell.
Blaine rubbed the back of his neck, a habit he had when he was nervous. He didn’t like feeling like this in
front of Kurt, but he didn’t know how to act.
“How’s James?”
Blaine was surprised by the question and looked up at Kurt.
“He’s doing well” Kurt looked at him like he was expecting a different answer, he looked disappointed.
“I’m glad to hear”
Before Blaine said anything else, they were both ambushed by photographers taking their picture. Both
startled, they stood there as the cameras were flashing.
Kurt smiled at the cameras as he put his arm around Blaine’s shoulders and turned him to face the
cameras.
“Blaine, did you like the show?”
“Kurt! Over here!”
“Are you excited about how the show is being received?”
‘’do you two know each other?”
As the cameras kept flashing both began to be interviewed by various magazines and media outlets.
Blaine was asked about music and Kurt was asked about his show.
The questions came and smiled as they took their picture, Blaine wrapping his arm around Kurt’s waist
startling him for a moment as the cameras kept flashing.
Blaine felt good holding his friend because it had been a long time since he was able to do it.
After a while, Kurt led them away from the cameras as they started to take pictures of some reality show
person Blaine thought he recognized.
“So that was fun,” Kurt said as he let go of Blaine’s arm.
“Really? because I hate it” he smiled at Kurt “but it was a lot better with you there”
Kurt gave him a small smile. “Well it’s the price you pay for fame, isn’t it?”
“I still can’t believe you’re here” Blaine blurted out.
He looked into Kurt’s eyes to see any kind of reaction, but he found none, his eyes stunning blue,
but the usual spark and brightness were still gone.
“Well I just got back from Europe; I’ve only been in New York for a few weeks.”
“Are you going to be here for a while or are you leaving after fashion week?” Blaine asked, hoping that
Kurt wouldn’t be leaving so soon.
“I’m not, I’m opening a fashion house here in New York, and so I’m back in the city.”
Blaine was relieved that Kurt was staying in New York, so he thought maybe he had a chance to fix their
friendship and get his best friend back. He didn’t know how Kurt would feel about it, but he had to try.
He decided that maybe starting over was a good idea.
Blaine was about to ask Kurt if he was free so they could get coffee and maybe talk, but was interrupted
as a tall blonde man came behind Kurt and wrapped an arm around his waist “are you ready to go?” he
said in a low Australian accent. Blaine recognized him as the model he had been ogling at the beginning
of the show.
Blaine tried not to be surprised, he didn’t even think that Kurt might have a boyfriend, or maybe even a
husband. He tried not to feel jealous, but he couldn’t help the feeling in his stomach as he stared at the
arm around Kurt’s waist.
“I am,” Kurt said in a calm voice. Blaine looked up at Kurt, hurt that his friend was already willing
to leave, when they had barely had time to speak to each other.
“You’re leaving already,” Blaine said a little disappointed.
Kurt gave him a shrug “I have to go, but call me and we can have lunch or something and catch
up”
“Ok”
“Ok, I’ll talk to you later, nice seeing you Blaine” with that Kurt turned and left with the blonde model.
Blaine couldn’t believe Kurt was acting so indifferent towards him like he didn’t even know him… like
the ten years of friendship, they had meant nothing to him.
Wes came back still with a smile on his face “where’s Kurt?” he looked around looking for his friend.
Blaine sighed heavily “he left”
“What!? Why? What did you do Blaine?”
“What? Why do you think I did anything?”
“Well I don’t know, the last time you talked to Kurt, he ended him moving to another country”
“Wes, it wasn’t anything…you know what? I’m not going to stand here and explain it to you… he left
with some model, he said to call him so we can set up a lunch, that’s all he said.” Blaine said a little bit
angry at Wes and his assumptions.
“God, just… relax, I’ll get his number and give it to you.”
“Thanks”
“That’s why I’m such an awesome manager”
Blaine rolled his eyes at him “whatever Wes”
-----------------------------------
Blaine sat in the back of a cab as he headed home.
All his thoughts were on Kurt.
He thought maybe Kurt hated him. That’s why he was less than enthusiastic at their reunion.
Blaine didn’t think it could hurt that much.
Blaine remembered their conversation outside the hotel three years ago; maybe Kurt hated him
because of that.
Blaine had gone back into the reception doing everything he was supposed to do. Still in a daze about what
had happened outside.
Wes had seen him when he came back in and took him to the bathroom, where he proceeded to
break down and cry, telling Wes he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. When Wes finally was able
to get him together, he told him to do what he thought was best. He had married James for a reason, so
he either was going to try to be happy with him or forget about Kurt. That may be time apart was what
they needed.
At the time Wes didn’t know about Kurt leaving for Paris, so he thought he was going to be able to talk
to Kurt and calm him down, but he had never gotten the chance to do so.
So Blaine went on his honeymoon and tried to push Kurt out of his thoughts and enjoy his first few
weeks as a married man. When he got back he tried to contact Kurt, but by then Kurt had deleted his
online accounts and had changed his phone numbers. Both Wes and Rachel had tried for weeks to get a
hold of him, but they couldn’t. they had even talked to Burt to see if he had any way of contacting Kurt
but all Burt told Blaine was ‘I know it sucks kid, but Kurt needed to clear his head, he’ll be ready when
he’s ready.’ But after the first year Blaine had given up on all hope that Kurt would ever want to speak to
him again.
He was angry at first, feeling blindsided by Kurt’s revelation. Of all the years they were together he had
never said or did anything that made Blaine think Kurt was in love with him, but the more he thought
about it, the angrier he got at himself for not realizing it.
But by then he had been too late.
He stayed in his marriage because he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t just leave James, his husband
that had done nothing but love him and take care of him since the day they had met.
He didn’t want to hurt James and he didn’t know where Kurt was, so Blaine did the only thing he
thought he could do to cope. He wrote.
He completely concentrated on his songwriting. When he had finally signed at a label, he spent long
hours writing and recording, until finally, he was able to release his first album.
When it came out Blaine was nervous, James had not heard any of the songs until his album was out.
That’s when they started to have problems.
James had never questioned why Kurt had left, but Blaine had a feeling that he knew the exact reasons
why.
The album was just a confirmation of it.
How can I forget your love
How can I never see you again
There is a time and place
For one more sweet embrace
And there was a time when it all went wrong
I guess you know by now
That we will meet again somehow
i will be updating on friday, maybe even erlier depends on my schedual.again thanks for reading.the song used was "How" by Regina Specktorits a lovely song go check it out!
Comments
This is so good, I love it! I feel sorry for Blaine, I hope he and Kurt talk soon and sort things out :(