Chapter 7.

A week had passed and if Kurt had thought things were bad, he found out that things, in reality, were even worse. He’d texted Blaine a fair few times on Tuesday but had stopped when he hadn’t gotten a reply after his 8th attempt. Any attempt Kurt had made to approach him had been ignored, and Blaine always left immediately after school. Kurt couldn’t help but feel like he had really ruined it with the one guy he really felt something for.

His feeling got confirmed when he entered the coffee shop on Saturday morning and noticed how Blaine hadn’t said a word to him apart from the few standard lines he had to say to customers: “Can I help you?”, “Your order will be ready in a minute”, “Thank you for coming to Lima Bean”. Blaine hadn’t made any eye contact but even then Kurt could see that his face was torn up with pain.

For the whole time Kurt sat in the coffee shop, Blaine hadn’t given him any attention. Eventually Kurt couldn’t take it anymore and had left the earliest he’d ever done. The moment he got home, Kurt searched through his CD’s, he had to make it up to Blaine. He was going to apologize over a song on Monday, now he just had to find the perfect one. That couldn’t be so hard, right?

**

“Kurt darling! How lovely to see you!” Mrs Lopez pulled him into a hug, “we missed you last week.”
“I do apologize. I had to help my dad with some business things.”
The rest of Sunday dinner went by as it always did. Filled with delicious food and drinks, then one of Santana’s family members –this time her nana- grabbed his hand and dragged him on the dance floor for some salsa.

Kurt felt a little better, the Lopez family was a warming and welcoming family and they had successfully cheered him up a little. Also, it helped that he was feeling quite confident about the song he was going to sing to Blaine tomorrow.

“Dad, I’m home!” he frowned when no reply came, “Dad?” he checked the kitchen and then the living room, noticing a note on the table. Like lightning his good mood had disappeared and got replaced by utter loss and sadness. The note fell slowly to the floor as his grip on it had loosened.

Dear Kurt,
I’m off to Chicago for a few days. Your nan is really ill. I’ll call you tomorrow.
Love, Dad.

**

Blaine was stacking his books alphabetically on the shelve. It had become his last resort to keep his mind occupied. His phone buzzed and as hurt as he was, his heart still skipped a beat when he saw the text was from Kurt. “Blaine, you have every right to hate me but could you come to my house? Please.” Underneath it was Kurt’s address, it was only a few streets away. Blaine bit his lip, the jealous bitter voice in his head said, why not go to your girlfriend, Santana, but there was something about the text that made Blaine’s heart beat a little faster.

Kurt had his knees pulled up, his arms wrapped around them, supporting his head. His eyes ached from crying, his mouth felt dry, his phone limp in his left hand. He’d felt even worse when Blaine hadn’t even replied to him. He knew the chance of Blaine showing up or even replying had been small.

He heard a ringing in his ears and closed his eyes, trying to drown it out. His hands clenched his chest. The last time he’d felt this horrible was after his mum’s funeral. He just couldn’t stand the thought of losing more family. He let out a choked sob. “Kurt?” the voice was merely a whisper, “I, er...the backdoor was open...” Blaine mumbled when Kurt still didn’t reply.

He gasped as Kurt finally looked up, meeting his gaze. He didn’t need to think about it at all. He ran to Kurt and wrapped his arms around him. Kurt, who had thought he had no tears left, cried even louder. He cried about his nan, he cried because at times like these he missed his mum, he cried because a big part of his life was a total lie, he cried because he had hurt the only thing that ever was real and he cried because, against all odds, Blaine was there.

When it felt like he had kind of calmed down, he closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing. For the first time he was starting to get aware of what was going on around him. He felt Blaine’s breath on the back of his neck and the slow rising of Blaine’s chest. He felt Blaine softly rocking him as he stroked his back with his thumb. When he felt like he had somehow calmed down, he looked up. It’d gotten dark outside and Kurt wondered how long they’d been sitting like this. Blaine met his gaze and shot a supportive smile as he asked, “How’re you feeling?”

“Thirsty.” Kurt replied and swallowed roughly.
“If you tell me where to find it, I’ll bring you some water.”
“Kitchen, glasses are in the top left cupboard.”
Blaine nodded, got up and spoke, “I’ll be right back. Kurt, it’ll do you good if you wash your face. Trust me. It helps.”
Kurt nodded and watched Blaine leaving the room before he stumbled his way to his bathroom. He looked like a mess. He wiped his eyes and splashed some water on his face. It did make him feel a bit more alive, he’d give Blaine that much, but it didn’t help at all against the tight feeling in his chest or the anxiety in the pit of his stomach.

Blaine beamed at him as he entered his room again. He handed him the glass of water and put the bottle on Kurt’s nightstand. “Thanks,” Kurt said before he gulped it down. Blaine watched Kurt in silence. When he’d walked through the living room in his search for the kitchen, he’d come across the note that  Kurt’s dad had left him. He had lost his own grandmother and could imagine how Kurt must have been feeling. He wanted to give Kurt as much space as possible but the one question burned on his lips and when Kurt’s eyes met his again, giving him a little smile, he wasn’t able to stop the words from falling from his lips, “Why me?”. However, the moment he asked, he felt bad.

Kurt sat down on the other side of his bed and sighed, “You’re the only one I could turn to.” He explained and felt slightly exposed having to admit it.
“Santana?” Blaine asked and then felt bad again for just letting the words slip out instead of thinking of what he’d say first.
“It’s complicated, “Kurt mumbled and lay down on his bed. Blaine knew that was all he’d get for now. In a moment of courage he went to lie down next to Kurt. The two of them stared at the starry ceiling.

“You’ve got the whole milky way here.” Blaine whispered with a smile. He wasn’t quite sure why he was whispering but something inside told him he should.
“My mum and I did this when I was around eight,” Blaine could hear in the slight crack in Kurt’s voice that it was an important memory and he found out why when Kurt continued, his voice sounding sad, “when she died, I added a star for her.” He pointed to the biggest one of them all, “right above my head, because I know she’d be watching over me”. Blaine didn’t know what to say. He knew that nothing he’d say could heal Kurt’s pain. Without giving it much thought, he slid his hand in Kurt’s, lacing their fingers,” I’m sorry”, he whispered.

Kurt knew he’d never be able to explain to Blaine how much his little gestures helped. His right hand was slightly tingling because of Blaine’s touch. Blaine’s warm hand in his own, their palms were a perfect fit. Just like last time he noticed how, when holding Blaine’s hand, his palms wouldn’t go clammy like they did with Santana. As he glanced at the alarm clock he noticed that it was nearing midnight and even though he didn’t want the night to end, he didn’t want Blaine to get in trouble either.

“Wouldn’t your mum be worried?”
Blaine shook his head, “I told her a friend was in need.”
“I didn’t think you’d show up,” Kurt admitted.
“I had my doubts at first,” Blaine confessed, “but something about your text made me change my mind.”
“Why?” Kurt said, honest surprise in his voice, “you had every right to hate me.”
Blaine sat up and Kurt followed his actions, their hands still tangled, “I never hated you Kurt. I couldn’t hate you even if I wanted to. I was just...hurt.”
Kurt looked at their entwined hands and back to Blaine, the hurt somehow still visible in those amber brown eyes. The usual light golden syrup colour was now much richer gold, darker due to lack of sleep. Time with Blaine always seemed to move too quickly and now wasn’t much different.

Kurt sighed at the situation he’d gotten himself in, “Blaine. Santana and I...it’s not’s real,” he sighed, “it’s complicated,” and he quickly tried to explain the deal between him and Santana. Blaine didn’t say a word the whole time, only a few times Kurt noticed something flash in his eyes, gone as fast as it came, too quickly for Kurt to read it, “and then all of a sudden you popped up,” Kurt said slowly coming to the end of  his story, “and I had never expected that I’d feel anything like what I feel for you until after high school. I just never thought it’d happen so soon and now... I just don’t know what to do.” He sighed, “I can’t just...I can’t do that to Santana.” Kurt felt his chest tighten again, he had no way out. Whatever he’d do, he would hurt someone he cared about.

Blaine looked at him and there was a certain calmness in his eyes that made Kurt feel it’d be somehow all okay, “I can wait, Kurt.” he whispered and traced a finger over Kurt’s cheek. The touch light like a feather, “I’d wait forever.”
Kurt shook his head, “I don’t want to wait.”
Blaine smiled a little before leaning in and kissing Kurt. His lips softly brushing Kurt’s at first, awaiting Kurt’s reaction and when he felt Kurt kissing him back, he leant in even more. Blaine lifted his free hand to cup Kurt’s neck, deepening the kiss. A soft moan formed at the back of his throat.

Out of all the scenarios, a kiss was the least Kurt had expected. He was pleasantly surprised to find that unlike Santana, who always tasted like sweet cherry, Blaine tasted completely different. He couldn’t quite place it, it wasn’t like any flavour he’d known before. If he really had to compare it with something he’d compare it with that special coffee Blaine had shown him the week before, but even that didn’t come quite close enough. He smiled a little as he realized that Blaine just tasted like nothing else but simply himself. Blaine. And it was better than he could ever have imagined.

The kiss came to a natural end and their foreheads were resting against each other as Blaine nuzzled his nose. Kurt felt slightly out of breath and a little too hot for the time of the night. He felt an emptiness wash over him at the thought of Blaine going home. “Could you stay?” he asked, his voice slightly trembling, “please.”
Blaine looked at him with soft eyes and smiled.