The halls of the school building seem darker than usual and I can feel people’s eyes on me again, their judging glares. School had felt like a happier place before but now...now the sun seems to have disappeared. It’s as if all the light has gone now and what makes it even worse is that my ‘lost sun’ is coming around the corner right now. I freeze. Rachel comes to a stop and looks at me, looking from me to Blaine and back.

“I can’t do this.” I whisper. I notice how he stops when he spots me and then comes my way with a quickened pace. I swallow, I want to run.

“I’ll talk to him.” Rachel says, making her way to Blaine. I watch them from a distance. I can’t hear what they’re saying but Blaine’s face kind of speaks for itself. I find them arguing at first but his face drops and I notice how he looks my way. Our eyes meet and I feel a shot of pain going through my body; I look down. Rachel puts her hand on his shoulder and I see her mouthing an “I’m sorry.” But he shrugs it off and walks away.

I feel so empty.

Rachel looks at me when she’s back and squeezes my hand. I can do this. I just need to try and stay away from Blaine. That’s the best option for the both of us. Shouldn’t be too hard, right?

Turns out... it is.

Staying away from him sounded easier in theory than it actually is. We have quite some classes together, to be honest almost all of them, so trying to stay away from him is like trying to not see animals when going to the zoo. Every time I entered the classroom and he was already there, he’d look at me; heartbroken. I always tried and pretended not to notice it but I usually failed. By the end of the week I had learnt my lesson. Now, I always make sure I’m one of the first ones in class so I could just look away whenever he entered the room, too.

It’s weird though. It felt like: time had passed and people moved on, well...everyone else but us.

-

“Kurt...it’s been a month now.” Rachel whispers.

“What’s your point, Rach?” I snap.

“Nothing. I just...er...I hate to see how you’re still beating yourself up over it.” She says taken aback by my harsh response.

“How would you be if you and Finn broke up, eh!?” I say nastily, jumping up. We’re at Rachel’s house and have been working on homework. “Do you really think you would walk around happy when you broke up with the most important person in your life?!”

Her eyes grow big at how I’m acting. I don’t care. “No.” she admits.

“Thought so.” I roll my eyes.

“But you broke up with him, remember.” She says, cautious.

“I know.” I sigh, “And you know well enough why I did it! Do you think that makes it any easier?! It’s not like I wanted to, Rachel! I still love him!” I bury my face in my hands in desperation, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. It’s just putting salt on already very infected wounds.

“Kurt...”

“NO! I’m done talking about this.” I snap, “You know why and I don’t want to talk about it anymore. It hurts too much. As my friend, I would’ve expected you out of anyone to understand!” I grab my bag and throw my stuff in it, “I’m going home.” I snarl.

“Kurt...please.” she begs, but I’m already on my way out.

I storm over the streets, I needed to let out some steam. I’m so sick and tired of every conversation, Rachel and I have, ending up being about Blaine and I. She knows bloody well enough why I did what I did and I don’t get why she keeps going on about it! It’s not like I haven’t been beating myself up over it enough. I don’t need her help for that. My phone rings, it’s Rachel. “What?” I sigh, answering the call.

“Kurt, I’m sorry.” She says. It’s all she says but I hear in her tone of voice how much she means it. I take in a deep breath and try to compose myself.

“It’s fine.”

“I can hear in your voice it’s not.” She says, “where are you?”

“I’m only just around the corner.”

“Come back, please? Let me make it up to you?”

“Rach...”

“Please! I promise, I won’t mention Blaine or anything Blaine related.”

I think it over, I do need her, I do need a friend around. Finn’s too busy stressing about football and I don’t want to bother him with my stuff. And Rachel has always been my best friend. “Alright.” I sigh, going back in my tracks, “I’ll be a minute.”

“I love you!” she whoops, “I promise you, I’ll make it up!”

“Sure.” I chuckle, rolling my eyes.