“Hey guys!” Finn waves as we join the others at our lunch table. He sits next to Rachel, pecking her lips, while I try to find a spot as far away from her as possible. She keeps glaring at me because of the musical thing, somehow thinking that if she stares long enough and hard enough it’ll convince me to audition. I’m getting sick of it.

“Kurt, did you know Finn is also auditioning for West Side Story?” Rachel smiles, “We’ve been practicing on his dancing and singing and I really believe he’s got a good chance.”

I roll my eyes.

“Kurt, are you joining too?” Joe asks, everyone else also looking at me.

“Uhm, no. I don’t think I will.” I mumble.

“Kurt, I don’t get you. This is your last time to shine, your last chance to be on the stage and show everyone what you’re made of, the real you.”

“I think everyone already knows.” I say, rolling my eyes.

“KURT, for God’s sake!” Rachel slams her fist on the table, “Why are you being so stubborn?”

“Rachel, drop it!” I snap, “Maybe I don’t want to do this because last time I showed everyone ‘the real me’ it didn’t end well!,” and I'm using air quotes now and I HATE using that bunny-ear-in-the-air-move, “Maybe because last time I got bullied like crazy and had the crap beaten out of me! Maybe because last time is something I’m still trying to process!” I say raising my voice.

Everyone’s eyes are on me now. Rachel’s mouth dropped, her eyebrows are raised. Finn looks at me in shock, Joe has his fork up in mid-air, frozen in his movement. I don't even dare to look at the others on our table, knowing they’d all be having the same expression on their face. I have to get out of here. Now.

“Excuse me.” I snap, picking my tray up and dropping the leftovers in the bin. I can feel everyone’s gaze still on me, I really wish they’d stop with that! I paint another smile on my face just for the sake of it, and stamp through the hallway to the toilets.

Thank God, there's no one here.

I close the door, wanting to lock everyone out of my life so desperately, catching my breath. I can't do this, I am not strong enough to do this. I’m so tired of fighting. I’m so sick of pretending to be strong, I’m not strong. Clenching my fists, swallowing down roughly. Everything is coming back to me and I feel so sick. The smell of a boys’ restroom isn’t particularly helping and the nausea fully kicks in.

The sound of my coughs echoes off the walls, I turn on the water to splash some on my face and rinse out my mouth. Gripping the sides of the sink, my breathing shallow. I bite the insides of my cheek trying to keep myself from crying, the battle in my head reaching a highpoint. My knuckles are turning white from the force I'm putting on them. I look up, meeting my own eyes in the mirror, my face pale. Feeling my heart pound in my chest and my breath uneven. “Man up!” I spit at my reflection.

“I heard talking to yourself is considered as the first sign of insanity.” A strong, low voice chuckles behind me. I see his reflection in the mirror, he's standing right behind me, coming out of one of the cubicles. “What are you doing here?” I hiss.

He looks around him “It’s the restroom, have a guess...” He smirks. I frown, there's something about this bloke that I really can't stand. Maybe it's his smug face or the fact he caught me in here when I thought I was alone.

“Why don’t you get lost?” I spit.

“Woah, seems like you have more balls than I gave you credit for.” He laughs.
I roll my eyes at him, turn off the water and make my way to the door.

“I’ll be seeing you around then... Hummel.”

I freeze for a second, how does he know my name?