March 7, 2014, 6 p.m.
Let me fall asleep: Chapter 3
T - Words: 1,798 - Last Updated: Mar 07, 2014 Story: Complete - Chapters: 24/? - Created: Nov 04, 2013 - Updated: Nov 04, 2013 124 0 0 0 0
“Hi.” Kurt found himself leaning casually in Blaine's doorway again.
“Kurt!” Blaine beamed the moment he saw Kurt's face, “come in.”
Kurt walked in and took a seat next to Blaine's bed. “How are you?” he asked, wondering why all of a sudden he felt so self conscious, so awkward.
“I'm good, thank you very much. How're you?” Blaine sat up but he looked more tired than usual, his eyes not having the usual light in them.
“Alright, bit nervous about how my dad will cope once we're back home.”
“What is it your dad has, if you don't mind me asking?” Blaine asked in a low voice, looking at him with measuring eyes. Kurt swallowed, he had never told anyone else before. But Blaine had something about him, a certain kind of presence that made you feel like you could tell him anything and he wouldn't judge. There was softness and tenderness in his features that made you want to tell him everything that was on your mind. Kurt swallowed roughly “My dad has a drinking problem.”
“Oh?” Blaine's tone wasn't judging but held more of a questioning concern in it.
“And I don't really know what he thinks but sometimes I feel like he thinks of the hospital as his safety net. And not only does it bother me that he thinks it's okay because we can afford it, it also makes me extremely sad that I keep having to see my dad in this state.” Kurt felt like he had said too much and looked at his hands. When Blaine said nothing, he panicked that he had said too much but still didn't look up, not wanting to see Blaine's face. Knowing that he couldn't stand seeing judgement, incomprehension or maybe even disgust on that beautiful face of his. Only when he could feel Blaine's hands on his own, he looked up. “I'm so sorry to hear that. But Kurt, it doesn't make you a bad person. It just makes you human and a caring son.”
“Then why do I feel so guilty for feeling the way I do.” He sighed, slumping down.
Blaine brushed his thumb across the back of Kurt's hand. “Because you want your dad to be better but it's nothing you can help him with.” Blaine locked eyes with Kurt and his expression was so soft and gentle that it made Kurt's heart melt.
“Thank you, Blaine.” Kurt mumbled and felt Blaine give his hands a little squeeze.
“I think you should go to your dad.” Blaine shot him a supportive smile.
“I think you're right,” Kurt nodded, not actually wanting to leave. He liked being around Blaine but he knew his dad would be waiting for him, “thank you, again.” Kurt got up slowly and as he grabbed the doorknob he turned when he heard Blaine call his name. “Yes?”
“Do you think you could maybe come back tomorrow?” Blaine blushed, “I would like to see you again.”
“I'll see you tomorrow Blaine.” Kurt smiled and closed the door behind him when he left.
“Hey dad,” Kurt smiled seeing Burt out of bed and fully dressed, “you ready?”
“Yes. I can't wait to get out of here.” Burt patted his back and grabbed his suitcase, “let's go Kurtie!”
Blaine sighed when Kurt closed the door behind him. It felt weird that for the first time since days that door was closed again. The only reason he'd left his door open was so he could see the eccentric boy walking past his room. He'd seen Kurt once in the hallway and ever since then he'd left his door open, in the hope that he would see Kurt again. The boy with the extraordinary eyes hadn't let him down and Blaine had been happy to find out that Kurt walked past his door every day around the same time. And then out of nowhere, just a few days ago, he had found Kurt outside his door in the hallway. His heart had taken a leap at the sight of the beautiful stranger and he knew from that moment on that he wanted to see him more often, that he needed to know more about the boy. Kurt had not let him down and even though their meetings were short, he always ended up needing more of Kurt's presence. He was even considering opening the door of his room again, just so he could see Kurt walk past one more time –with his dad. Only the knowledge that he'd see Kurt tomorrow again, kept him from stalking the hallway.
“Home sweet home.” Burt smiled and threw his key on the side table, Kurt behind him carrying his bags. “Thank you, Kurtie. Come here, I'll take these from you.” he took the suitcases and Kurt closed the door behind them. “I'll go put these upstairs.”
Kurt nodded and watched his dad go up the stairs and heard the creaking of the landing as Burt walked to his room. He sighed and looked around, the room was quite a mess even though he had tried to keep it as tidy as he possibly could. The main thing standing out was the cupboard in which Kurt knew his dad kept his liquor storage and he was annoyed at himself for not having thrown it all out before his dad's return. He bit his lip unsure of what to do but by the time he had finally made his decision it was already too late, he could hear the noise of his dad coming back downstairs and Kurt moved himself further away from the cupboard as to not pull even more attention to it than it already did. When Burt emerged from the stairs he looked at Kurt the smile that had been on his face, disappeared “What's wrong?”
“Nothing.” Kurt plastered on a smile.
“Kurt? Don't lie to me. I can still tell when you're lying.”
“I'm not dad. I'm just tired and hungry, that's all.”
The smile returned on Burt's face when he asked, “Pancakes then?”
It was so endearing that for a second all the worries left Kurt's mind and he chuckled, “Yes.” He smiled excitedly.
Even though they'd forgotten to drop by the store on their way home, luckily enough they had all the ingredients. They followed the recipe as it was in the book, however not without making a mess and soon enough their hands were covered in pancake batter. Kurt got a flashback to a memory in which his dad had let him kneed the pizza dough and how they just had covered it with anything they could find in their fridge. Kurt grinned at his dad and the grin only grew wider when he saw how much pleasure his dad was having in it himself. “Kurt, you need to taste this! It's yummy.” Burt grinned.
“Dad, save some or we won't have any left for the pancakes.”
“Taste it!” Burt smiled, thrusting a spoon to Kurt.”
“Dad.” Kurt laughed but took it nevertheless and put the spoon in his mouth. It tasted just like he expected, like eggs with milk and some vanilla sugar in it but he smiled at his dad before grabbing a frying pan out of the cupboard.
“Ready?” Kurt asked, watching his dad hold the frying pan with both hands. he nodded and positioned himself, spreading feet apart and his face written with concentration. Kurt counted down “3.2.1”
Burt whipped the pan so that the pancake flipped in the air and landed on the floor, Burt's features changed into a pout and Kurt couldn't help but laugh at his dad. “Dad, you've tried it five times now. I think it's impossible to do.”
“Your mum could do it.” Burt scratched his head and frowned at the mess on the floor. Kurt looked at his dad in surprise, it was rare for him to mention his mum, even more without letting it come out bitter. “How about you let me do those pancakes, without flipping them, so we can eat?” Kurt offered. Burt looked at him with a wondering expression but nodded, “I'll go set the table.”
As Kurt was preparing the pancakes, he caught himself getting relaxed.
Eventually they both sat down at the table, a plate with a giant stack of pancakes between the two of them. “You first.” Burt smiled, pointing his fork to Kurt and then to the pancake tower. Kurt smiled, picked a pancake and covered it with sugar, feeling like a little kid when he did.
“God, I missed being at home.” Burt smiled, stuffing his face with pancake after pancake, “the hospital is nice and all that but I wouldn't be able to spend more than a few days there.”
Kurt nodded and stared down at his plate, his mind went to Blaine and wondered how long Blaine had been there already. How long he still had to stay in the hospital and whether there was any chance he'd be able to still see Blaine after that. And then he remembered he was seeing Blaine tomorrow and something flowered in the pit of his stomach. “Kurt,” his dad's voice brought him back to earth, “I've been thinking. I feel like I've been enough of a bad dad and you deserve better. Kurt, you've been right all along. This time I want to be better, I want to try and do it right this time.”
Kurt smiled and took another bite of his pancake, he couldn't get rid of the little voice in the back of his mind telling him that this was the speech his dad always made. “That's great dad.” Kurt smiled.
“And I want to start with something easy. I want you to lock the liquor cabinet and hide the key from me.” Burt said without hesitation. Kurt could feel his mouth drop when he stared at his dad. He seemed so confident in what he had just told Kurt that Kurt couldn't help but simply gape.
“Dad?” Kurt asked.
“I'm serious, Kurt. I want to do better this time.” Burt stood up and walked straight to the cupboard. He turned the key in it several times, making sure it was locked, and came back, key in hand, and joined Kurt back at the table. “Here, take it.” he held out the small key and shot Kurt a little smile. Kurt had to concentrate for his hands not to shake as he took the key from his dad and stared in disbelief at the metal object in his hand. “Hide it.” Burt asked again.
“After dinner.” Kurt nodded and slid the key in his pocket for now. Burt smiled at his son and the two of them enjoyed the rest of their dinner.