March 7, 2014, 6 p.m.
Let me fall asleep: Chapter 20
T - Words: 1,973 - Last Updated: Mar 07, 2014 Story: Complete - Chapters: 24/? - Created: Nov 04, 2013 - Updated: Nov 04, 2013 119 0 0 0 0
again, thousands of apologies. Life is just really hectic!
But, the story should be finished this week!
3 more chapters!
Thanks for sticking with me even if Ive been a bit crappy update wise!
Blaine lay down on his bed. The treatment always drained him from energy. In the corner of the room he heard Cooper fuss about. He sighed and closed his eyes, rubbing his temples, his head and eyes ached with tiredness. “Have it out then Coop?”
“Why are you not moving back home?”
“Because,” he paused, “because you know I can't. Let's face it, we both know that whatever the doc tells us, the news will still be that I won't have enough time left. Mum and dad will not accept that fact. Whenever they think I can't hear them they end up fighting over wanting to take me to a different specialist. They'll never be able to deal with my decision, whether I'd have years or days left to live.”
“But-“
“Coop, I don't want to talk about it anymore. Listen, if I move back home, yes, I'll be with my family but I'll also be fussed over and feel like an ill person all the time. But when I'm with Kurt it'll only be about how much we love each other. Besides, whatever time I have left is short and I don't want to feel like I have missed out on something and neither would I want to waste time that I could have spend with Kurt by spending it arguing over my illness.”
“I get that, but Blaine doesn't your family deserve to spend some of that time with you too?”
“Of course, Coop, just because I'm going to live with Kurt doesn't mean you'll never see me again.”
“I guess...” Cooper shrugged. Blaine knew his brother was already starting to see his point, “so living together with your boyfriend then? Big step.”
Blaine opens his eyes again and slowly sits up. “I guess it is but on the other hand I can't wait to spend more time with Kurt outside of this room.”
“It's, it's just hard you know? It's hard for me to deal with all this and be the big brother and protect you, when I have no idea myself of what it is I should protect you from. Whether it was mum and dad or your illness or the fact you were wasting away in this hospital room.”
“Coop-“
“And then Kurt came along and I felt like I had to protect you against heartache and I don't know.”
Blaine couldn't help but smile. He managed to stop himself from wincing when making his way to his brother. “I love you.” he whispered before wrapping his arms around his big brother. “You're my little brother Blaine,” Cooper mumbled against his shoulder, “I'll always have your back.”
“Blaine?” Kurt opened the door in confusion, “what are you doing here? I thought you were staying at the hospital?”
“Coop dropped me off, I decided to stay here.” Blaine smiled.
“Kurt?” Burt's voice came from inside, “who is it? Oh Blaine.” Burt smiled, “what brings you here?”
“I decided to accept your offer sir.” Blaine smiled, his hand squeezing Kurt's, who looked lost.
“Offer? Which offer?”
“I, er, I suggested Blaine could stay with us?” Burt explained.
“Really?!” Kurt's face lit up with happiness, “you're moving in?” he beamed at Blaine, who nodded in acknowledgement. Kurt pounced on Blaine and threw his arms around Blaine's neck. “That is amazing!”
Blaine laughed warmly, wrapping his own arms around Kurt's waist and taking in his smell.
“Come on Kurt, let Blaine put away his stuff.” Burt chuckled.
Kurt loosened his grip and helped Blaine carry some of his stuff inside. It wasn't much but it held something promising and it made him feel excited for what was to come. Kurt spoke next as they put down Blaine's stuff in Kurt's room. “I can't believe that this is real.” He said not being able to contain his excitement.
“Imagine my face when your dad suggested it?” Blaine chuckled.
“Kind of can.” Kurt poked his side, making Blaine laugh. They cuddled into each other and stared at Blaine's bags, processing the eventful news.
“I got thinking today and I think I found a song you could sing to your dad.” Blaine broke the silence.
“Will you help me?” Kurt asked, looking into his eyes?
“Of course.” Blaine pecked Kurt's lips.
So after dinner, which was a bit of a part, they asked Burt to join them in the living room and have a seat. “What's this boys?”
“Dad,” Kurt fumbled with the hem of his shirt nervously, “I, er, for a while now I've been wanting to tell you how proud I am of you and, and, and I love you.” he manages to say without choking up.
“Kurty...” Burt's eyes getting watery.
“Dad, this song's for you.” Kurt smiles, nodding at Blaine to turn on the music.
“I'm joining as a little thank you for letting me stay.” Blaine adds in a whisper and then turns on the music as Burt's laughter fills the room.
Made a wrong turn, once or twice, Dug my way out, blood and fire. Bad decisions, thats alright, Welcome to my silly life.
Youre so mean when you talk about yourself, you are wrong. Change the voices in your head, Make them like you instead.
Youre perfect, youre perfect to me. Pretty, pretty please if you ever, ever feel, Like youre less than, less than perfect. Pretty, pretty please if you ever, ever feel, Like youre nothing, you are perfect to me.
“Thank you boys.” Burt smiled, his voice hoarse with emotion. “That was beautiful.” Kurt stood there unsure of what to do and with a swift nudge from Blaine he decided to follow his feeling and went to hug his dad. “I love you Kurt.” His dad whispered, “I'm sorry it took me so long to get back on track.”
“But you're here now.” Kurt whispered back, squeezing his dad before letting go, “that's all that matters.”
“You too Blaine, thank you.” Burt smiled, patting Blaine on the back.
At the end of the night the two of them were cuddled up together in Kurt's bed, legs and arms all entwined, talking about the day's events and small things they wanted to share.
“I think my family already knows I moved in.”
“They knew before I did?” Kurt asked, amused.
“Well…no. Coop did,” Blaine smiled, “he was in the hospital when I arrived and somehow it slipped out.” Blaine admitted. “I hadn't planned on telling so soon but it slipped out.”
“It's okay.” Kurt smiled, his hand sliding up and down Blaine's body. Blaine leaned closer into Kurt and put his head against Kurt's chest, enjoying the feeling of being held. “I could stay in this moment forever.” Blaine sighed content.
“We have time.” Kurt mumbled, his lips grazing Blaine's skin and raising goosebumps.
“Yeah,” Blaine sighed, hiding his face in Kurt's chest. He didn't want Kurt to see the sadness on his face when he lied to his boyfriend.
Knocking on the door made the brothers break apart, the two of them immediately feeling unnerved. “Come in?” Blaine answered, tension rising more when it was indeed doctor Schue walking in.
“Blaine.” He nodded and then looked at Cooper, “Mr. Anderson.”
“Doc.” Coop acknowledged.
Blaine went to sit down on his bed and waited nervously for doctor Schue to continue.
“Well, I must say that you are looking much better,” he observed, “you gained some colour and I'm pleased to hear from Tess that you've been going out more.” He looked at Blaine over his notepad, Blaine nodded.
“I am feeling much better too.” Blaine brought up hesitatingly.
“Mhm, aah yes.”
“Just get it out with doc,” Coop started, feeling a tension in the air that only predicted bad news.
“Right, sorry,” he ran his hand through his hair, “Blaine, although you've been making so many positive changes and are looking better than you have so far, the results show a completely different image.”
Silence filled the entire room and the whole few seconds the doctor gave them both to react in any way, seemed like an eternity. Eventually, he coughed, realizing no reaction would come from either boys and continued. “Older results had shown how we had established that the treatment wasn't improving your health anymore but that you were at least stable and stagnant. I've got the results from our last tests and I'm afraid they're not showing good signs, Blaine. You show a significant decrease on all the levels and mainly your immune system. It seems that it's only going to get progressively worse.”
“Meaning?” Blaine asked, trying to keep his voice from shaking.
“You've not got long left anymore.”
“How long?” Coop demanded.
“A few weeks, maybe a month tops.” Doctor Schue admitted, “I'm so sorry. Blaine, we tried all we could but the treatment-“
“I know. I've always known doc, thank you anyway. I just hope I've been able to help so that in the future others can benefit from it.”
“You're an extraordinary boy, Blaine. You're blessed with a beautiful gift: compassion.” He smiled encouragingly, “Do you want me to inform your parents as usual or is this news you want to tell them yourself?”
“I-I don't know.” Blaine bit his lip and looked at Cooper. He didn't know what to do, he wasn't sure whether he could actually bring up the guts to tell his parents their own son was dying.
“He'll tell them personally, won't you Blainey?” Cooper asked, his voice trembled with emotion but also with an authority that let Blaine knew that there was no discussing the option.
“Yes.” He nodded, not sure he'd be able to say much more.
“Blaine?” Kurt's voice reached his ear and caused him to snap back from his memories. “Don't fall asleep yet, love.” Kurt chuckled
“Sorry,” Blaine smiled weakly, using the given excuse and rubbing his eyes to make it look more real. He hadn't figured out yet whether he should or could tell Kurt the news. Not when he was this happy.
“I'm going to my parents tomorrow.” Blaine said barely audible. If Kurt hadn't been so close to his lips, he probably wouldn't even have heard it, “going to pick up some more stuff.” He stated, not completely lying when he said that. He needed to go and get some more of his stuff from his house, considering he planned on staying his remaining time with Kurt, but he was mainly going to talk to his parents. Under slight pressure of Cooper.
With a smile, Kurt kissed Blaine's lips. “Can I come?”
“Uhm, not this time Kurt. It'll be already hard enough breaking the news to them.” he sighed, linking his fingers in Kurt's, needing the reassurance of his boyfriend's presence.
“News?” Kurt frowned.
Blaine's heart skipped a beat but he recovered quickly. “You know? Me moving in here?”
“Oh, I guess I hadn't thought about whether it might affect your folks…”
“Neither did I,” Blaine admitted, coming to realize how selfish he'd been, “but after Coop's reaction I kind of understood how it must affect them too.”
“You can always count on me for support.” Kurt whispered, running his fingers over Blaine's bare skin and reaching under his love's t-shirt. He drew imaginary circles on Blaine's chest, his nails slightly digging into the skin and making him shiver.
“Don't stop.” Blaine begged, turning towards Kurt and crawling in closer, allowed Kurt better access. Their arms going around each other and their kisses getting more heated with the second. “Your dad's still up.” Blaine panted between kisses, feeling Kurt's hands slip under the waistband of his boxers.
“Be very quiet then.” Kurt whispered seductively, feeling Blaine burry his face in his neck to muffle a moan. So far this moving in together only had its upsides.