Waiting For The Dawn
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framby

Jan. 16, 2013, 1:43 a.m.


Waiting For The Dawn: Chapter 4


E - Words: 4,262 - Last Updated: Jan 16, 2013
Story: Complete - Chapters: 20/20 - Created: Oct 23, 2012 - Updated: Jan 16, 2013
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Author's Notes: And one more chapter for you. I hope you enjoy it!

Blaine stepped into the room. The only visible light came from the lamp on Kurt's beside table. It wasn't a warm light, or one that makes everything more beautiful. It was a harsh one, the kind that makes reality even more distressing.

Blaine came closer to the bed, only to realize that Kurt was still asleep. He didn't know what to do with himself at first. Should he take his hand? Or leave the room? But it seemed that while his mind was still trying to come up with a sane and logic idea, his body was having a life of its own. And Blaine found himself caressing Kurt's forehead, and really looking at him for the first time since he came into the room.

Kurt was painfully beautiful. He had bruises, on his face and on his neck, and his head was wrapped in white bandages. Tubes were linked haphazardly over his entire body. But underneath all of these things, he looked more mature, his jaw stronger and his cheekbones more accentuated. Blaine was filling his memory with images of Kurt in this moment. His chest tightened and Blaine had to close his eyes. He could do it, he had to. If there was one thing he should be able to do, it was this one: be there for Kurt and help him. He had to.

Kurt opened his eyes, and a genuine smile appeared on his face. The happiness reached Kurt's eyes and his whole face lit up at the mere vision of Blaine.

Blaine didn't see Kurt open his eyes, or the expression on his face, and only turned to look at him in shock when he heard him speak.

"It's you," Kurt whispered, calm rushing through his body.

"Um, it's Blaine. I'm Blaine. Do you remember me?" Blaine asked, unsure. Was it possible for someone to lose more of his memory after waking up from coma?

"Yes, I remember you, dumbass. And I know your name as well, thank you very much. Where were you? Why didn't you come to see me sooner? I know it's a long trip from Lima, but still…" Kurt looked down, almost afraid of his own words.

"I'm glad you remember my name." Blaine's voice cracked. He had to close his eyes once again, he had to calm himself and control his tears. He had to stay calm. But the more Blaine's inner voice was telling him to calm down the more Blaine was panicking, his chest was even tighter than before and his breath was heavy. He was feeling weak and nauseous.

Get a grip Blaine, you need to control yourself. But he couldn't and he tried to open his eyes but his vision was blurry and it made him sicker. He was going to faint. Words and images were spinning in his head.

"Blaine? Blaine, baby, look at me - you need to calm down. You need to breathe. Please – please, look at me! Blaine!"

Baby. The word echoed in Blaine's head and crashed his heart. He ran to the bathroom and reached the toilet just in time. Tears were now pouring down his cheeks from both his condition and his uncontrollable feelings. His head was resting against the cold porcelain; he was too weak to move anyway.

Warned by Kurt's screams, Burt and Carole flew to the room. Carole ran to the bathroom to find a very pale Blaine. She patted his back and tried to catch his attention.

"Blaine, honey? Are you feeling better or do you need to stay near the toilet?"

Blaine didn't answer. It was too much. He was feeling trapped. Carole's kindness and Kurt's… Just Kurt. He couldn't handle the situation. He wasn't strong enough to face all of this. He didn't deserve Carole's sweet words and Kurt's nickname. He needed to go back to his place, he needed to lie in bed and forget all of this.

"Blaine, I know you must feel weak from the panic attack but I need you to talk to me. Please?" Carole was still patting his back and waiting for him to gain some strength to move from the bathroom.

"I need to go back to my place. I… I can't be here," Blaine whispered, slowly regaining his breath and recovering from the dizziness.

"Oh, honey! Of course you can go home. But don't you want to stay here? That way we could make sure that you're okay."

"No, no, I can't stay. I'll… I better go. I'm sorry I gave you more trouble than you already have. I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry. "

Carole said nothing. They were the ones to call him and ask for his help, they were the ones that should be apologizing for causing him trouble in the middle of the night. But she said nothing. It was a difficult night for everyone.

She helped Blaine to stand up and get back to the room, before sitting him down in a chair and reaching for her phone to call a taxi.

Blaine didn't make eye contact with Burt or Kurt when he walked back to the room. He sat there, silent, head down.

"Blaine? Do you really need to go? You could lay with me if you don't feel good." Kurt's voice seemed desperate. Blaine had just arrived and had a panic attack and now he was leaving. The whole situation was too much to take. Kurt needed Blaine to stay with him; he wouldn't feel safe if Blaine left. No one was talking to him and everything seemed to be more awkward with every minute that passed.

Blaine left quickly, without a parting word or glance in Kurt's direction.


I screw up. I… I screw everything up. I didn't talk to him, I didn't even look at him. I just puke in his toilet and leave. I had a panic attack in his room. I'm so stupid… How can I… Why did I… This wasn't a good idea. How can I be good for him? Or help him recover? I can't even manage to spend a day without messing something up. I'm no good, so I can't be good for him. I need to stay away or I'll fuck up his recovery. I'm no good. I am no good. I'm just me. And I'm nothing.


Meanwhile, Kurt was fuming. His boyfriend had just left the room without even looking at him, everybody was staying away from him and when someone dared to talk to him it was like having a conversation with a brick wall.

"Stop it, now! Just stop it! I don't care what you are holding back from me; I don't care how big this is, or how scary or whatever the fuck this is! I want and I need to know! So could someone be nice enough to enlighten me!" Kurt yelled, looking as scary as someone can with half of his body in casts.

Burt looked up at the bursting and came closer to his son. He took a deep breath and looked at Carole, who took his hand and drew circles with her thumb to calm her husband.

"Okay, kiddo. This is going to be a bit confusing, so just bear with me, okay?"

"It can't be much worse than now."

"And don't interrupt, Kurt. This is difficult enough. I'm going to explain it to you and then I'll answer your questions, okay?"

"Yes, Dad. Sorry." Burt nodded once, solemnly and without his usual humor.

"It's alright. Okay, so, when you fell, you hit your head pretty badly. That's why you have that bandage. You had a bad cut, but that's not all. You… you're suffering from memory loss, kiddo. We're not in 2012, we're in 2017."

Burt waited for the outburst, for the screaming and yelling, for tears, at least. But Kurt just sat there, saying nothing, face blank, without batting an eyelash.

"Uh, Kurt? Son? You okay?"

"Huh?"

"Do you want me to call a doctor, Kurt?"

"No, no." Kurt was in shock. Five years of nothing. There were five years missing. He had the sudden urge to grab a computer, a newspaper, anything, and to drown himself in everything that he'd missed. Well, not really 'missed', but forgotten. "Is everyone alright?"

Burt chuckled. Of course his son's first question would be about everyone else and not in relation to his own health.

"Yes, everyone is fine. A few cold and flu viruses here and there, but beside that it's all good. Do you want to know something else?"

"Did I make it? I mean, am I still living in New York?"

"Yes, kiddo, you're still living in New York. You just finished your studies and you have a job now." Burt didn't know if he should give much more detail. How could he know what would block Kurt's memory?

"A job? You mean I'm getting paid? But… For what? What is my job?"

Carol stepped in, sensing that her husband would not be able to paint Kurt a clear picture of his work.

"You're teaching to America how to be as fabulous as you are. You're writing articles about what to wear, how to wear it and with what - how to coordinate brooches with vests and what-not."

Kurt was smiling. He knew he didn't make it to NYADA (he had very vivid image of his non-acceptance letter and a bitter memory to come with it). And he remembered clearly that he enrolled for fashion classes. But he had no idea where he would go from there. Apparently "where" was a fashion magazine.

"So, I'm living in New York, I have a beautiful boyfriend and an amazing job? The only problem is that five years of my memory are missing, right?"

Burt just stood there awkwardly so Carole spoke up.

"Exactly, honey. But that isn't the only problem. A lot has happened in five years, and anything could trigger either the recovery of your memory or the permanent loss of it. So you have to be patient with us, okay? There are things that people will be talking about and you'll have no idea what they're referring to. So don't be upset and ask what they're talking about, because there'll be moments when we don't think it's a good idea to tell you something or give you the full details. But it's only for your own good – we don't want you to lose these five years permanently, after all. So this is going to be hard for you, but you'll have to work with us and not against us. Okay, honey?"

Kurt didn't want to agree with that. He wanted to know everything and anything. But Carol seemed serious about the whole thing. So he just agreed to the deal and thought that he would just need to find a way of collecting information other than his stepmom and his dad.

"Can I have a phone so I can call Blaine? I'm really worried about him. He was so strange."

Burt was confused. Kurt seemed fine. Well, that wasn't the problem, of course. He wanted his son to be okay. But regarding what he just revealed to him, Kurt was too fine for it to be normal. He should be a wreck. He should be yelling or denying the whole thing. But Kurt was just looking at him, like Burt just told him they were out of milk. This was scary. Kurt was too calm, it couldn't be healthy.

"Take a nap, son. You'll call Blaine later." If he still agrees to all that jazz, Burt added in his head.

Kurt agreed, once again reluctantly. He tried to find sleep, but couldn't. Too much had happened in few hours. He needed to think.

Blaine. Blaine had acted weird tonight. Maybe he was just panicked because Kurt had been injured. But it took him an awful lot of time to get to hospital, even from Lima. No wait, from… New York? Where was Blaine living now? With him, potentially? They had been together for years now, so that would make sense if they were living together. How can one not live with is boyfriend when said boyfriend was Blaine Anderson? Yes, he was definitely living with Blaine. But why did it take him all that time to get to the hospital, then? Now that Kurt was thinking about it, Blaine never answered his question. He started panicking right after, actually. Maybe Blaine was just overwhelmed by the whole situation. It could be terrifying to know that people you love and care about are in hospital. Kurt could relate. But still, Blaine left quickly and without looking at him or acknowledging him. He needed to talk to Blaine, to feel his fingers on his forehead again, and to hear his voice. I was just a difficult day.

Please, let it be just a difficult day, Kurt thought before falling asleep.


When Blaine finally lay in bed that night it was almost morning. He had no intention of going back to the hospital. He had made a fool of himself. He couldn't face Kurt again. Now Kurt knew what a loser Blaine was and he couldn't bear to face Kurt after that. He had been in the room for less than an hour - how did he manage to screw up in such a short time? Blaine took the pillow next to him and curled around it. He needed some sleep.

For the second time that day Blaine awoke to the sound of his phone. The thing was obnoxiously buzzing on the nightstand. Blaine extended his arm to his maximum and took his phone. Once again he didn't know the number but answered anyway.

"Hello, Blaine Anderson speaking."

"Blaine, hello again, it's Burt Hummel." Blaine stood quickly, trying to wake up.

"Um… He-hello again, sir. Burt! Hello, Burt!" Burt could feel that Blaine was tense but didn't understood why. He wasn't the one that needed a favor (and a big one, at that).

"How are you feeling, Blaine?"

"G-good. Don't worry about me, Burt. You have bigger problems."

"I'm not worried, I'm concerned. You really didn't seem well last night and I wanted to know if you felt better. I must admit, I'm not being entirely selfless with this call… I wanted to know if you were still okay to let Kurt believe you are still his boyfriend." Burt held his breath. He knew if Blaine disagreed he would surely find another solution, but situation would no doubt be a lot easier if the boy gave his permission for the ruse to continue.

"Um, I… I…" Blaine was panicking again. He couldn't help Burt, he couldn't pretend. He barely made it last night. "Yes, of course it's okay." What? No, no, no, no, no! What was wrong with him?

"Oh, great! So are you coming back today?" Okay, just say you can't come today, you have to work or to do laundry or anything! Lie, just lie, you can't go back there and let Kurt see what how useless you are. Lie, lie!

"Um… If you're sure I'm not going to be a burden, yes, I'll come back." Seriously Blaine? It's like you're not even listening to your own brain now!

"Of course you're not a burden! This might not be the best situation for meeting you again, but we're glad to see you, buddy. But I'll need to talk to you about Kurt and the boyfriend situation. We need to know what we're going to tell him. We can't risk saying different things. He might have lost memory, but the kid's smart!"

Blaine and Burt talked for almost half an hour. They tried to think about all the little details that might appear in conversation and sorted them. They answered question about friends, jobs and family before hanging up. Blaine quickly took a shower and left for the hospital.

When Blaine opened the door to Kurt's room he felt considerably less anxious than before. He had already made a fool of himself. It couldn't get worse.

Beside Kurt, the room was empty.

"Hey." Kurt really was beautiful even with bruise on his face and an ugly bandage around his head. "You're back. I was afraid you didn't feel well enough to come by today and Dad didn't let me borrow his phone."

Blaine sat in a chair, as far away from Kurt as possible.

"Of course I'm back. I…look, I'm sorry for last night. I should've handled the situation differently. I wasn't ready to see you… like that. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." Blaine looked up at Kurt, relieved to see that the man didn't notice his mistake.

"You don't have to be sorry, Blaine. You had a panic attack, it's not like you can control those things, can you?" Kurt said warmly.

"No, of course not. But still, I'm sorry".

"Well, you shouldn't be sorry about that. What you should be sorry about though is not giving me a good morning kiss!"

Blaine's eyes widened and he froze. Kissing Kurt. Giving Kurt a kiss. On the lips. He couldn't do that, that wasn't appropriate at all. If he did it would be like taking advantage of the situation. It was wrong to kiss him, it would be part of the pretense but morally wrong. Plus, he promised Burt he would stay away from Kurt.

"Um, it's not like I don't want to, but I'm not sure that's the best idea. You have bruise all over your face. I don't want to hurt you." Blaine said, unsure. You're a terrible liar. You couldn't even come up with something credible. He is going to discover everything.

"Oh, come on Blaine! Just a kiss!"

"I'll hold your hand, but I won't kiss you. I don't want to hurt you," Blaine said, trying to sound serious.

"Fine! Deny me what I need," Kurt said, pouting. Blaine eye widened and his face paled, but he said nothing and came closer to the brunette to hold his hand.

They stayed in relative silence until Blaine's questioning voice broke through.

"Where are Burt and Carole?"

"They left half an hour ago. I sent them back to their hotel - they needed real sleep and those chairs are far from being comfortable. They won't be here for hours," Kurt added, smirking. Blaine frowned. What was that?

"Um… okay. Do you want to watch TV? Or do you want me to read you something?" Kurt rolled his eyes before turning to whisper slyly in Blaine's ear.

"Why don't you lie next to me on this bed, so we can not-watch TV together?" Blaine sat there, mouth open. That was new. Kurt had never been bold with him. He was rather shy and would have never said something sexually implied. Maybe that was the aftershock.

" Huuuuh… No, I, I'll stay here. Thanks. Um, do you want to talk?"

Kurt attitude shifted quickly to the Kurt Blaine knew. That was weird. He needed to talk about that to Burt, or a doctor. On second thought, definitely a doctor – he wasn't going to have a conversation about Kurt and his sexual proposition to Burt!

"I have few questions if you don't mind?" Kurt asked shyly.

"I'll try to answer as honestly as I can but if I think that I can't go too much into detail, don't push it. Okay? Remember we're doing that for you."

"Seems fair. So… Do we live together?" Kurt asked expectantly.

"No, we're not. But we are thinking about it." Blaine answered. His voice was steady and he silently thanked Burt for their discussion and for preparing him for that.

"Why not?" Kurt didn't seem to be pleased with that answer.

"Well… we thought it would be better if we didn't live together during university so we could actually study and enjoy the full experience of student life. "

"Of course. We would have never have been able to work if we lived together. So when are we moving in together, then?" Brilliant, Kurt seemed to be on a roll.

"We haven't really talked about that. What else do you want to know?" Blaine asked, trying to move to another subject. One that was less uncomfortable.

"Are you working? And if yes, where?"

"I'm a teacher in high school. I am in charge of the Glee club and music classes." Kurt was almost laughing.

"You're like the Mr Shuester of New York!"

"Hey! That's not fair! I've never given my phone number to my students!" Kurt laughed before wincing from the pain.

"Don't make me laugh! I have bruises and casts!" They smiled at each other and stayed like that for a moment. Kurt suddenly blushed and looked away.

"What is it, Kurt?" Blaine loved seeing Kurt blush, but he hadn't done anything to provoke that. He wasn't even sure how to make someone blush anymore.

"Are we… no that's stupid! We can't be."

"What aren't we?" Blaine asked. If Kurt had a question he would answer it.

"Are we….engaged?" Blaine had to concentrate to hear the last word. Kurt was looking away, redder than before.

" … No we're not. But only because we need to live together before making a huge decision like that."

"Oh, well, that makes sense," said Kurt, quickly accepting the answer and moving on.

They settled into an awkward silence after that. Blaine still hand Kurt's hand in his. Kurt drifted to sleep and Blaine was left with his thoughts.


Later that day Burt and Carole came back to the hospital to find Kurt and Blaine asleep. Blaine was still holding Kurt's hand. They woke up the two men and Blaine left the room to go buy food.

"So, Dad," Kurt began, "when am I leaving the hospital? I want to go home and you can't be away from the shop too long. Wait, do you still have the shop?" Kurt worried.

"Of course I still have the shop! Kurt, I haven't changed that much in five years!" Burt chuckled.

"Oh, well, I'm glad. So, like I said when I am allowed to leave this place? I need to go home, you need to go back to the shop. "

"I'm not leaving you, Kurt. I'll ask Fred to take care of the shop as long as you need me," Burt answered seriously.

"Dad, I'm thankful that you want to take care of me, but you can't stay away from the shop! Last time you did Fred almost bankrupt it! Plus, Blaine's here. He'll take care of me. And that will give me a reason to make us move in together more quickly. "

Oh no. It's not that Burt didn't trust the boy… Man. Blaine and Kurt were men now. So, it wasn't that he didn't trust him. But god knows what Blaine had been up to these past five years. There were no chances that he left him alone with Kurt.

"No, kiddo. I stay here until your memory's back," Burt said stubbornly.

"Dad, be logical, please. We have no idea if it will come back. You can't stay with me forever. And Blaine will be here. He'll take care of me while I'm in these casts and we'll call you whenever something happens. Or doesn't happen."

This was getting out of hand. Logically and with his information, or lack of it, Kurt was right. Burt didn't have any excuse to stay. But leaving Blaine alone with Kurt was also out of question.

"Kurt, I'm not comfortable with leaving you alone here."

"I won't be alone, Dad. I'll be with my boyfriend that I've been with for seven years now. It might take a month for me to recover, or it could be years. We don't know. I'm not a child anymore. "

Blaine came back from his trip to the cafeteria not knowing what he was entering into.

"Blaine, baby! Tell my dad that you are perfectly capable of taking care of me and that he doesn't need to stay here with us. It will tire him out and he can't stay away from the shop."

Blaine stood there, with an uncomfortable look on his face. To keep up the pretense he couldn't deny the fact that he could take care of Kurt. But would Burt be okay with this? He felt trapped.

"Well, I can take care of you. But I think that would be better if your dad stay a bit. Don't you think?" Blaine suggested. Kurt didn't look enchanted with the answer, but he wasn't pissed either.

"Fine! Dad, stay. But Blaine is moving in with me so you'll see that he can take care of me and that you can leave without worrying more quickly."

Burt was trapped. Damn, this kid was evil! He couldn't go against the logic. Of course he would need to leave as soon as Blaine would show that he could take care of Kurt. If they were truly together it shouldn't be such a problem. Maybe he could talk to Blaine about it and make the situation appear as though Blaine couldn't take care of Kurt so Burt would be able to stay. But in the meantime, he would just have to accept Kurt's deal.

"Well, I think it means that Blaine is moving in with you then. If he is okay with it, Kurt! You can't force someone to live with you." Burt expected Blaine to say something, to say that he couldn't move in for whatever reason.

"I'll…" He couldn't move in with Kurt, Blaine knew that. Soon it would become too much and he would lose the sight that this wasn't real and he would keep up the pretense until it became true for him. He couldn't accept, he had to find an excuse, something, anything.

Blaine looked up at Burt, then Carole and finally met Kurt's eyes. They were shining, and happy, like he knew that Blaine would never deny him that. So, of course, Blaine didn't. He was already lost.

"Of course I'll move in," Blaine said without breaking eye contact with Kurt.

Kurt mentally high-fived himself - his boyfriend was moving in! Why his other self didn't talk his boyfriend into moving in was beyond his comprehension. At least he had fixed that already.


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*Sigh* Its like watching Blaine slowly get himself into a train wreck. Great story but I feel really sad about Blaine.

things will be really interesting now.... ;)