If you'd asked Blaine Anderson his opinion on life, he would probably have told you that it was hell.

Life was hell. Not because he was unhappy – to be honest, for a few weeks now, he was much less unhappy than he was before. Things were a bit brighter and his future didn't seem completely dull. But life was hell. Especially when you had a boyfriend named Kurt Hummel, and that very specific boyfriend was the sexiest and horniest creature alive.

Of course Blaine wanted Kurt in every way possible. But he couldn't let himself be. Having sex with Kurt would mean crossing one of the last few boundaries that make the whole situation still a pretense and not a reality. So even if Blaine would die from it, he had to resist Kurt.

His struggles had started few days after they had removed Kurt's casts. Blaine had entered the living room, still sleepy, to face Kurt's perfect ass in yoga pants that left very little to the imagination. Kurt was very careful in doing every move that the nurse had showed him to make the muscles that had been in the cast grow, and in addition he had decided to work out and chose yoga of all the sports. So Blaine had watched Kurt changing position with ass still in the air, presenting to him. He had to rush to the bathroom and take a very cold shower to help with his little problem, needless to say.

The second time Blaine had to struggle had been during one night, when Kurt started to rock his erection against Blaine hips. Kurt was obviously having a very vivid dream and if his little whimpers and moans were not a clue his cock fully hard against Blaine left no doubt. Kurt's breath was ghosting against Blaine ears and with every thrust he whispered Blaine's name like a mantra. Kurt mouthed along Blaine's neck, rolling his tongue and tasting him. Blaine almost had to jerk off right here right now because he couldn't take it anymore but instead he threw Kurt out of the bed. Kurt woke up instantly, trying to gather his thoughts and comprehend what had just happened.

The third time happened during a lazy afternoon when Kurt started to palm Blaine's cock. They were sitting on the couch, next to each other, a blanket covering them, when Blaine sensed Kurt hand against his zipper. Blaine closed his eyes and tried to chase his growing erection, but Kurt's hand was very distracting. Kurt unzipped Blaine's pants and started to palm him through his boxer brief, making him grow fully erected under his ministrations. Blaine had to use all his willpower to grab Kurt hand and stop him, leaving them both very horny and Kurt really confused.

Then there were all those little moments when Kurt would just tease him for the sake of it: sucking on his spoon during dinner, letting his hand brush against Blaine's crotch whenever he would walk by, rolling his hips against Blaine's ass when he needed to pass behind him, spreading himself on the bed and touching himself when Blaine would pass the door of the bedroom, and loudly moaning Blaine's name in the shower.

And finally there were those instants when Kurt would do absolutely nothing but just be himself and Blaine's mind would just take over. It was Kurt's very tight jeans, and seriously Kurt's jeans hadn't been that tight in high school in comparison. It was Kurt's cherry lips and his tongue that licked them. It was Kurt's hand in his hair when he was trying really hard to understand something. It was Kurt's scent on his pillow.

Really, life was hell when you had a boyfriend that sinful and couldn't act on it.

Blaine was trying and Kurt knew that. He hadn't expected huge changes in a short amount of time and every little thing that Blaine would give him, Kurt would cherish them. Because he understood somehow that it was difficult for Blaine to just be himself around Kurt. He still didn't know why, what the reasons behind Blaine's behaviour were, but he knew somehow that it had something to do with him. So whenever Blaine would open a little bit and give a little more, Kurt was grateful for it. But it was still really frustrating. Kurt didn't want to push his boyfriend too far, didn't want to scare him but there was only so much time a man could go without sex when his boyfriend was one sexy Blaine Anderson. So Kurt was pushing it. He knew he shouldn't but Kurt had seen the little changes in Blaine. How he grew more confident in his job after many successes in Glee Club, how he would talk more openly to Kurt and accepted Kurt's touches without flinching anymore, if so welcoming them, even. So Kurt had to push it, to remove the last walls that Blaine had built around himself. Because Kurt wanted his boyfriend, all of him.

"For Christ's sake, this is hopeless!" Kurt groaned, head falling into his hands. They were silently working together in the living room on a Thursday night and Blaine had seen Kurt tipping, going from inspired to furious. "I am never going to have my job back with that article. It's so poorly written it would make a 12 years old girl's diary look like a masterpiece. "

"Can I have a look at it?" Blaine proposed, reaching for the computer. He quickly read the document and looked up at Kurt. "How to get rid of pimples in 10 steps?" Blaine questioned, arching an eyebrow.

"I thought this would be a good article idea for a magazine. I mean aren't they supposed to give advice about how to get more beautiful in a very short time and by spending the least money you can?" Kurt answered; looking annoyed and not open to the criticism he knew was coming.

"Well, not only." Blaine said tentatively, not wanting to piss of his boyfriend who already on the verge of throwing a fit. "But I thought it was a try. Maybe you're trying too hard to fit. Your strong point has never been to fit into any stereotype. Your value has always been to stand up for yourself and your beliefs. And no matter how important good-looking skin is, I believe that you have much more to tell to the world." Blaine finished, hoping he wasn't overstepping. After all he never helped or saw Kurt during his writing process and he didn't know what the limit was when it came to work.

"So, what you are saying is that I should stop writing this," Kurt repeated, motioning to the computer "and start over a new article about something else. Something I believe more in?" Kurt rephrased. His face was unreadable and Blaine thought for a minute that it was it. He had finally screwed up like he knew he would and that Kurt was going to throw him out. He nodded nonetheless and waited for the stormed. That didn't happen.

"So I should write about something less superficial and a bit deeper?" Blaine looked up and once again nodded. Kurt stayed silent for a good two minutes before continuing. "Do you think it's a good idea to write about something deep and unconventional for a woman's magazine?"

"Hum… Like Melody said you just had to write something, anything and then you'll work from there. So maybe it won't be published, maybe it would, but I think that you should stick with what you know: being yourself. And you're unconventional, Kurt. In the best way possible. Don't let yourself become something you're not just because you're afraid of the outcome. It's not you, it was never you. So write about something you truly believed in, and if it's deep and unconventional, so be it." Blaine finished, breathless after his ranting. Kurt beamed at him and threw himself at Blaine.

"You really are the only one who fully understands me and sees me for what I am and not just a clown that wandered in the street dressed like a crazy old woman."

"Kurt, you're not a clown and you don't dress like a woman. You might wear women's clothes sometimes, but you look very much like a man. You can trust me on that."

Kurt looked at Blaine directly, drowning into the hazel of his eyes and kissed him fully on the lips. Kurt's hand foundBlaine's side and brought their hips together.

"Blaine." Kurt moaned into his mouth before sucking on Blaine bottom lip and nipping at it.

"Kurt, stop." And with that Blaine carefully took Kurt's head into his hand and made Kurt looked at him. "We can't do that."

"Why not? You're sexy, I'm sexy. You want me and I want you. There is nothing easier."

"Kurt, I…" Blaine sighed before shifting from Kurt's grip and taking his hands into his own. "I'm not comfortable doing this with you. Not because I don't find you attractive. Because I do, I really do. I'm just not comfortable having sex with you until you have your memory back." Blaine whispered.

"I might never recover it, you know. Nothing's happened and it's been almost two months." Kurt stated, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I know, but for now, please understand. I can't have sex with you. It would not be right."

And there it was again: Blaine's walls and morals. Walls that Kurt didn't seem able to break no matter how hard he tried. So he agreed on no having sex for now and get back to his article.

Barely a week later Kurt found himself eating in their apartment in front of a very fidgety Blaine.

"Blaine, stop that. I'm getting sea sick by seeing you moving that much. And I'd never been on a boat before so I wouldn't know if I'm sea sick or not. I mean… I think I've never been on a boat before..." Kurt dragged his sentence, wondering.

"It's just that… Oh god." Blaine blushed furiously and dipped his head, putting it almost on his plate.

"Blaine, baby. You're okay?"

"I… come with me, please?" Blaine stood up and offered his hand to Kurt. The brunette took it and Blaine lead him to the living room, motioning him to sit on the couch. Blaine disappeared into the closet in their entryway and came back with a guitar in his hand. Kurt was able to see Blaine's hand shaking but didn't say a word. He didn't want to put his boyfriend in more misery than he already was. So Kurt just stayed silent and waited for Blaine to speak.

"So, hum…" Blaine sat on a chair in front of the couch and took a deep breath before looking up and locking eyes with Kurt. "You know when we had that fight last month. You told me that I needed to give a little to you. To give you something to work on because you couldn't be your own support system and mine? I've been trying to give you more, but I'm not sure you saw it because of how little it was. So I wanted to do something a bit bigger. You've been asking me to sing to you a lot when you came back from the hospital and I know you stopped because you didn't want to make me uncomfortable. So if it's okay with you, I want to sing to you tonight. I've only been singing in front of a public once in five years and that was barely two month ago and I've been practicing a lot after glee but I know it won't be as good as I was before so… just see the gesture, please. Just see me, opening a bit more to you. And not just a sombre idiot making a fool of himself by singing something he can't manage. Okay?" Blaine asked hesitantly after a speech he had obviously rehearsed as well.

"Blaine, I'm not going to judge you. And I know you'll be wonderful. But because you asked me: yes, I'll see the gesture before anything else." Kurt smiled warmly at him and lovingly watched Blaine as he gathered his courage, chorded his guitar and started. Blaine didn't look at him and kept focusing on the chords instead.

Watch my life,
Pass me by,
In the rear view mirror
Pictures frozen in time
Are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day
Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes

Blaine started to sing, his voice like honey. Yes, it was a little raspy, but it brought so much emotion to the song that Kurt was having goosebumps just by watching Blaine struggling to get the lyrics out.

Cause I want you,
And I feel you,
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger,
Like a burning,
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken,
And I'm faded,
I'm half the man I thought I would be:
But you can have what's left of me

Blaine locked his eyes with Kurt and sound almost apologetic. He seemed sorry to have that little to offer but was willing to give it anyway, to give his everything to Kurt if he found it enough for him.

I've been dying inside,
Little by little,
Nowhere to go,
But going out of my mind
In endless circles,
Running from myself until,
You gave me a reason for standing still

Cause I want you,
And I feel you,
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger,
Like a burning,
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken,
And I'm faded,
I'm half the man I thought I would be:
But you can have what's left of me

It's falling faster,
Barely breathing,
Give me something,
To believe in
Tell me: It's not all in my head

He was pleading, with his whole being, begging Kurt to just accept him and love him for who he was. Because it wasn't much but it was all he had and he wanted it to be enough. To be enough for once in his life, to be loved for whom he was and not being expected to be someone else, to be more than he could. Because he wanted to be Kurt's and no else's but he knew somehow that the Kurt he had in front of him was barely real and that the Kurt that would wake up one day wouldn't be the same. But for now he just wanted to be enough for this Kurt and maybe later for all the Kurts that were inside the beautiful man in front of him.

Take what's left
Of this man
Make me whole
Once again

Cause I want you,
And I feel you,
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger,
Like a burning,
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken,
And I'm faded,
I'm half the man I thought I would be:
But you can have what's left of me

I've been dying inside you see
I'm going out of my mind
Out of my mind
I'm just running in circles all the time
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left of me?
Just running in circles in my mind
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left of me?

Blaine finished the song in a whisper, waiting to see if Kurt would answer, waiting to see if Kurt would understand that he needed an answer. He wasn't what he had wanted to be. He was so far from being the man he wanted to be in high school and had so little to give that he needed to hear from Kurt that, yes, he would take Blaine for what he was, nothing more, nothing less. So Blaine waited, eyes on the floor, for Kurt to react in any way.

"Yes." Blaine head shoot up just in time to see Kurt throwing himself at him. "Yes, Blaine, of course. I'll take what you want to give me. I'll take anything." Kurt said between deep kisses. He had his arms around Blaine's neck and straddled him on the chair. Kurt couldn't stop kissing Blaine and it was too much teeth and maybe too desperate but they both needed it. Blaine's hand grippedKurt's ass and forced his tongue into his mouth. Tasting Kurt's mouth and dancing with his tongue. Kurt dragged his nail along Blaine's scalp and took a handful of hair to dip Blaine head, giving him space to lick and bite his neck, to mark him and leave him breathless.

"Yes, yes. I'll take you, all of you. I don't want somebody else. Just you, Blaine." Kurt panted against Blaine's neck. Blaine's hand was still on Kurt's round ass, fighting not to bring their hips together. Kurt seemed to know what Blaine wanted because in a rapid motion he grinded against Blaine's crotch, giving them some wanted friction.

"Blaine," Kurt moaned, taking Blaine bottom lip in his sucking at it and then attacking his neck yet again.

"No, Kurt… Kurt!" Blaine shouted while Kurt brought their hips one more time, aligning their erections and giving them some release.

"We can't… Kurt…" Blaine tried, "Kurt… We have to stop…Oh my god, Kurt!"Kurt started to palm Blaine, pressing the heel of his hand into his groin.

"Stop me, Blaine. If it's so wrong, stop me." Kurt challenged before sucking at Blaine's skin, right beside his ear, where a brand new hickey was appearing. He then kissed him passionately, sucking at his tongue teasingly and biting his bottom lip before breaking the kiss and pressing their foreheads together.

"Stop me, Blaine. But just know that I want you. I want you inside me, Blaine. I want to feel you." Kurt licked at Blaine's earlobe before finally whispering: "I want your cock in me and I want it now. I want you to fuck me." And to affirm his lust he rocked one last time against Blaine crotch, the sensation making them moan and grind against each other more forcefully.

"Blaine!" Kurt screamed as Blaine squeezed Kurt ass. "Blaine, oh my god. I want you, please. Please!"

And that was it for Blaine, all the walls, the boundaries, the rules he drew to keep his head above the water, to prevent him from falling into the trap that was this whole situation scrambled down all at once.

"Oh fuck it!" Blaine shouted. He grabbed Kurt's ass and carried him around the apartment. Kurt crossed his legs around Blaine's waist, hand roaming across his back and kissing him hungrily. Blaine let Kurt fall graciously on the bed before kneeling on it, putting an arm around Kurt's waist to put him higher on the bed. Without breaking eye contact Blaine removed his shirt and pants and attacked Kurt mouth.

"Blaine! Need you." Kurt moaned into Blaine mouth while his hips thrust against Blaine's. Blaine got rid of Kurt shirt and pants, freeing Kurt's cock.

"God, Kurt! No underwear?" Blaine's eyes explored Kurt's body, his hands on Kurt's side.

"Not with those pants. Never." Blaine sucked at Kurt collarbone before making his way to his nipple,biting lightly at it.

"Blaine! I need you, just do something and stop teasing." Blaine looked up from Kurt navel and licked it teasingly.

"But I am touching you." Blaine's hand grip Kurt tights and started drawing circles with his thumb, knowing how sensitive Kurt was there.

"Not enough." Kurt barely managed to get out, hips thrusting in the air in the need of friction. Blaine cut down the teasing, let go of Kurt'sthighs and sunk down, taking Kurt's penis in his hand and experimentally licking the head, already leaking with pre-come.

"Blaine! I need you in me, please!" Blaine stroked Kurt a few times, locking eyes with him before leaning to kiss the man.

"Tell me you have lube and condom somewhere in here, Kurt." Blaine almost growled.

"Argh, yes. I found the box, top ah! Top drawer." Blaine didn't comment on the box and stroked Kurt one more time before he opened the drawer to find what he needed.

"Have you been touching yourself, Kurt?" Blaine asked, opening the lube and pouring a generous amount on his finger, not wanting to hurt him.

"Yes, in the shower, or when I knew you were coming to room. Oh god!" Kurt shouted when Blaine's fingers ghosted against his hole. Slowly Blaine put one finger in Kurt, thrusting in and out to give Kurt some time to adjust to the burning sensation.

"I know, Kurt. I heard you in the shower." With that Blaine inserted a second finger and started scissoring them. "Do you know how hot you sound when you scream my name in that shower? God, Kurt." Blaine said breathlessly, adding a third finger and after few minutes Kurt started to fuck himself on Blaine.

"More, Blaine, I need more!" Blaine nodded and removed his fingers from Kurt, grabbed the condom and rolled it on his erection. He added a generous amount of lube and stroked himself before he positioned between Kurt's legs.

"You're so beautiful, Kurt. And so sexy. God, I want you so bad." Blaine nuzzled his head into Kurt's neck. Kurt scratched his hair a bit before lowering his hand to Blaine's back and finally cupping his ass.

"Blaine, fuck me." So Blaine positioned himself and started to penetrate Kurt. Slowly, too slowly for Kurt, apparently, because he crossed his legs around Blaine and brought them harshly together, leaving Blaine completely in Kurt.

"Kurt, so tight! God." Blaine kissed Kurt messily and waited until Kurt started to move beneath him.

"Blaine, move." Blaine started to thrust slowly, not wanting to hurt Kurt. "More Blaine, I need more!" Blaine started to thrust harder and quickened the pace, leaving them breathless and panting. In a swift movement Blaine repositioned himself to bring Kurt's leg over his shoulder before pounding restlessly into his boyfriend, finding Kurt's prostate with every thrust.

"Blaine, oh my god, Blaine, Blaine." Kurt repeated like a mantra, Blaine was close, too close. He wanted to drag the moment out; he wanted to keep fucking Kurt until they both died from exhaustion or over sensitivity. But he needed the release and he wanted to see Kurt coming so badly. He wanted to see him falling apart, just because he was being fucked by him. He wanted to claim Kurt's body as his and never let anyone put his hand on his boyfriend. He was his. Kurt's body, mind and soul were his and he wanted to be the only one to see Kurt falling apart like he was. So Blaine wrapped his hand around Kurt's cock, begging for attention, and gave it few strokes.

"Come for me, Kurt. Please, I want to see you, Beautiful!" And it was all it took for Kurt to come between them and on Blaine's hand. Blaine thrust a few more times before coming in Kurt whilst screaming his name.

His arms barely supported him, so he pulled himself out of Kurt and tossed the condom, hopefully in the trash can and snuggled close to his boyfriend. They both stayed silent for a few minutes, enjoying their post-orgasmic haze and feeding from the other's glow.

They smiled to each other and Blaine put his arm around Kurt's waist, pressing him into his arms. Kurt let his head fall into the crook of Blaine's neck and hummed happily.

"I'll take whatever you want to give me, Blaine. And where you see a broken man I see a strong one, one who kept on fighting and bringing the best out of himself. You're more than enough, Blaine. You're everything. I love you."

Blaine watched Kurt in awe as the man drifted to sleep. Kurt had just said that he loved him. But more importantly he had said that Blaine was enough. A tear rolled down on Blaine's cheek, because for the first time in years, he was enough, he didn't have to pretend, to be someone else or to hide all his fears. He was enough, he was everything.

"I love you, Kurt. I always haveand I always will."

And with that, Blaine fell asleep, in their bed, in their home. Yes, after all this time, Blaine was finally home, in the arms of the man he loved.