It was one of those days for Kurt, when everything is just wrong no matter how hard you try. He woke up that morning with a stranger in his bed and a rather irritating hangover. It took Kurt two hours to explain to the man that no, he didn't want to have breakfast with him, that no, he could not have his number, and that finally he couldn't remember the man's name so a date or a round two was way out of order. Then Kurt had to hurry to get dressed, drink coffee or actually spilt coffee on his shirt, grabbed the wrong bag and finally got a cab to hurry to his office.

Kurt was working for the fashion department of a small magazine in New York. After being rejected from NYADA it took all summer to think about his future. Kurt had decided to apply for fashion classes in NYU. He later discovered the pleasure of being able to teach to a large group of people the art of being dressed thanks to his articles. So naturally Kurt found an internship in a magazine that wasn't Vogue but was like home to him.

It took Kurt six years since he left Lima to accomplish something he was proud of. He had to give up on lots of things like sleep, free time and love. During his first year in New York Kurt had tried to make the whole long distance relationship work. He and Blaine had had a lot of Skype dates, endless text conversations. But something was off. Kurt tried to push it, but the more they were talking, the more they fought over little things. When one of them was a little late for the Skype date the other would automatically be angry, they would start be aggressive toward each other and often the date would end abruptly because one of them would hang up without saying goodbye. It was not much, if you looked at it like that. It was always better when they saw each other over the weekends, but the distance made everything more complicated. After a rather big fight one day, Kurt broke up with Blaine. Their fights were getting worse; they hadn't even had a real conversation without shouting at each other. Kurt dreaded their Skype dates, he was afraid that one day he might hate Blaine. So he had to break things up. He was both relieved and destroyed after doing it. He was not proud of how he did it but it had to be done.

After that Kurt decided that romance was definitely not for him. He had tried, it ended badly, and he would just have to try something else. Like sex, with random men and as often as possible. These decisions lead him to that morning, after a night of sex. He was exhausted, but did not have to think about the aftermath of that night, because there would be none, because sex was easy and fun. And on that gloomy day, the taxi was leading Kurt to his job, the only thing Kurt was living for.

He stepped into the elevator, and when the doors opened, he rushed to his office. His day did not get better; at 10 Kurt had an argument with one of his assistants; at 11 he was already late and when the clock reached two in the afternoon Kurt had the immeasurable pleasure of having a phone call from Sebastian.

"Just for your information I ordered the most expensive thing I could and paid the bill at your name. I love when men are playing hard to get but we both know that you and I will never be an option. So stop being a diva and get your ass to the restaurant, Princess. "

"Sebastian, hello to you too, yes I am fine, thank you for asking," then Kurt remembered. "Shit! We were supposed to have lunch together weren't we?"

"Glad to see that Alzheimer's didn't hit you. Are you coming now?"

"No. I'm sorry I can't, I'm way behind schedule and work is crazy right now!" Kurt tried to apologize.

"Well, can you at least send one of the models that work for you? I might need someone to entertain me since you're not coming." Kurt sighed, Sebastian was always asking for models to sleep with.

"No! Seb, I'm sorry, I'll make –"

And with that Sebastian just hung up on him.

Kurt had run into Sebastian several times during his first year at NYU. It took Blaine and Kurt breaking up, and a really rather drunk Kurt for their friendship to start. Sebastian had bumped into Kurt two days after the break up and told him that he needed to loosen up and to come to a party. To be honest, Sebastian had dragged Kurt to the party. Kurt had drunk too much and Sebastian had to take care of him.He started to bring him to his dorm, partly to make sure Kurt didn't hurt himself but mostly to record him serenading a stop sign. When Kurt and Sebastian reached the dorm Kurt launched himself at Sebastian. It hadn't been a bad kiss really, a bit sloppy and tasted like alcohol but not completely unattractive. But when they moved to the bed, Kurt had watched Sebastian intensely, and then tried to wiggle out of his skinny jeans, ending up on the floor. Sebastian had reached out to help him stand, and ended up punching him. They iced the burning cheek and went to sleep. In the morning Kurt had freaked out before remembering why Sebastian was in his bed in first place. He woke him up brutally and after an awkward conversation, they decided to try being friends.

Bickering was the foundation of their friendship but they deeply cared for each other. Kurt helped Sebastian to study whenever he was too stressed to function and Sebastian was looking out for Kurt. Well, he actually made sure that the men Kurt was going home with weren't too ugly. Kurt partied too much, had sex with random strangers too much, and that was saying something coming from Sebastian, but at least they were attractive. They cared for each other and stayed bitchy and it was the best friendship they could have asked for considering how everything started.

It was past eight, the sky was dark blue and rain was pouring. Kurt still had a lot of work to do and didn't live near the building. He was exhausted, too stressed and his day had been a nightmare. He just wanted to go home and sleep unlike the night before.

When Blaine got home that night, he just wanted one thing: to crawl under the covers of his bed and sleep through the night. It had been a long day and he wasn't sure he could handle anymore. His students had been overexcited and didn't pay attention at all during the class; one guy in the football team had finally broken up with his girlfriend, or was it the girlfriend that had broken up with him? Anyway, the girls were too busy trying to figure out a way of being asked out on a date and the boys were playing with a ball around the room. It was not that Blaine did not know how to be strict with his students, he just preferred when everyone was able to participate, in a relative chaos or not. So when two of his students started a heated argument about the meaning of a song, Blaine just tried to calm them down when it became too much, but that was it, really. Blaine didn't like it, he wasn't even sure he could do it anymore. And after his long day, he also had to sit through a very long and very painful discussion with his boss who seemed to think that Blaine was his psychiatrist for some reason. So Blaine just sat there for two hours straight listening to whatever wife-related problem the man had now before he finally got to head home. A heavy rain started to fall, making him completely soaked.

"Great, at least things can't get any worse," Blaine mumbled.

It wasn't before stepping into his home that he found out that yes, actually, things could get worse. A little note was left on the fridge for him to read:

Sorry, baby bro, had to take a flight to Los Angeles, won't be back until the end of the month, try to get some ass for once! – Cooper

"Well fantastic," Blaine thought. The jerk that happened to be his roommate and brother had just left him alone, once again. It wasn't that Blaine was not used to being alone at this point; he just wished that some time, Cooper would actually spend time with him instead of acting like a ghost. It was one of the brilliant ideas of one Cooper Anderson: being roommates with his brother. After realizing how much Blaine suffered from their nonexistent relationship when he was in high school, Cooper began to take his big brother duty very seriously. So when Cooper heard that Blaine would be moving to New York and had had his heart crushed by the boy he loved, he bought a flat, in New York.

"The perfect reaction when you see your brother cry his heart out on your shoulder," Blaine had thought after finding out what Cooper had done. And then his big brother had asked him to move in with him. Blaine had been thrilled at first, making him forget about the dull ache in his chest. He moved in at the very beginning of July and by the end of the month had managed to see his brother for two hours. Cooper was always busy working and Blaine couldn't blame him for that. It took him a very long time to understand why Cooper had asked him to move in if he wasn't even there. It was just Cooper's way of taking care of Blaine. Cooper couldn't physically be there all the time, so he made sure that Blaine had a place to go home at night, and that he didn't struggle with money, so he could focus on his studies. That way, Cooper was sure that Blaine was safe when he wasn't around, which was almost all the time. His work was really important to him, just like his career and fame, so he had to work really hard on it. So he was not going to miss any opportunity, even if it meant not being able to see his brother for months sometimes. Cooper loved Blaine and cared a lot about him, but his career just came first most of the time. Blaine wasn't mad at Cooper; he didn't know better and was just acting like his parents had acted with them when they were younger. But being alone in his old house back in Ohio or in this flat in New York always made Blaine wonder, maybe if he had chosen another career, or worked harder, then maybe people would stay with him instead of running away all the time

His parents loved him and he knew that. Being gay and making the choice of becoming a teacher was not what they had expected for him, but they loved him anyways. Sometimes when he was still in high school, trying to figure out what he would like to study, his he and his father had a violent argument. His father had said that he could have done better in life; he could be someone great if he hadn't chosen to be gay, and if he hadn't chosen to pursue studies that would leave him with no money and no work. But Blaine had fought against his father, who at the end supported him in his choices and apologized for the things he said.But Blaine knew and felt it, his parents loved him, but he wasn't good enough for them, he wasn't enough for them to be really proud of him. Being in the shadow of Cooper didn't help either. He felt like a ghost waiting to be discovered. It didn't happen. His parents travelled more and more for his father's job, leaving Blaine on his own most of the time, not feeling worth their attention. And years later he was feeling the same way about his brother and that note on the fridge: not good enough for people to want to spend time with him. But all these insecurities had hit him when Kurt had broken up with him, two week before Blaine's graduation. Kurt didn't even have the decency to do it face to face, but instead he had chosen to use the phone instead. Blaine couldn't remember Kurt's exact words, what time he received that call, if it was a sunny day or not. No. Blaine just remembered feelings hitting him like waves. First it had been anger, Kurt hadn't even made an effort to break up with him properly, breaking up over the phone was the coward's way out, and Blaine could have punched the wall in front of him. Maybe he did, but that whole night was just a blur in his mind. Then sadness and emptiness made their way through his body leaving him in tears. When he woke up the next morning, his anger had left him and he lay in his bed for hours before it hit him. Kurt had broken up with him because he wasn't good enough. His mouth went dry and he swallowed with difficulty, repeating the words that would soon become a mantra: he was not enough. The thought never left him, and every day that passed just added more weight to it. His parents would never be proud of him because he was not enough, he would always be in Cooper's shadow because he was not enough, Kurt would never want him again because he was not enough, the kids in his class did not really respect him because he was not enough.

The note left him dumbstruck in front of his fridge. He threw it away and made his way to the bathroom.

When Kurt finally left work for the day it was past eleven. He was replaying in his mind what he would have to do the next day and in which order to be more efficient. He was so absorbed by his thoughts that he mechanically paid his cab driver and ran to the stairs that lead to the entrance of his building. Kurt didn't pay attention to the wet floor nor to the stairs in front of him, he just ran, trying to save his coat from the rain. He felt his shoes starting to slip and he tried to reach for anything that might prevent him from falling on his back. But his reflexes were slower than usual because of the lack of sleep and his still-present hangover; everything went black when he hit his head against the hard concrete.

Meanwhile on the other side of the city, Blaine didn't make any effort to dry his skin or his hair after his shower and crawled naked into his bed, wishing sleep would come quickly.