June 17, 2013, 10:01 a.m.
Chasing Your Love: Chapter 6
E - Words: 3,381 - Last Updated: Jun 17, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 15/15 - Created: Feb 04, 2013 - Updated: Jun 17, 2013 109 0 0 0 0
Blaine had been waiting for a good forty-five minutes and Porcelain still wasn't here. At first the singer thought that the man was just running late. It was a Tuesday night after all; the designer had had classes all day. Maybe he'd just had a bad day and was just running late. Blaine told himself that for ten minutes, peeking at the door every time it opened, hoping to see the chestnut-haired man coming in and only being disappointed. After twenty minutes Blaine started to think that maybe something had happened to him. Accidents happened every day. Maybe he had a bad fall and broke his arm, or the subway was closed because someone was feeling bad, or maybe he was the one not feeling well. But as time passed Blaine started to think that the man just wasn't going to show and he'd been stood up without any real reason beside the fact that he just wasn't attracted to him the way Blaine was attracted to the designer. Blaine sat there, thinking over and over again how it could've gone differently, how he could've really made this work. Because it wasn't just attraction, what they had shared after that concert, it was so much more than just a physical attraction, it ran deeper and even if Blaine didn't really have words to describe it he knew how it had felt that evening.
Blaine waited a bit more, earning pitiful glances from the waitress. He could see her from the corner of his eye and every time it stabbed him a little deeper. The designer wasn't coming because Blaine just wasn't what he needed or wanted. He had just fooled himself into this, imaging things that weren't there and turned it into something that wasn't. Porcelain wasn't coming, because Blaine just wasn't enough.
"Oh shit!" Blaine shouted moments later, covering his nose as he ran to the nearest bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and saw a thick red line going from his nose to his chin, his hand cover in blood. It never happened to him, Blaine wasn't a nose bleeder so he didn't really know what to do. He stood there, in front of the sink, pinching his nose with one hand and covering it with tissues with the other, waiting for it to stop.
Kurt stumbled into the restaurant almost an hour late. This wasn't how he had planned this date to go and hoped that Blaine had waited for him.
"Uhm, hi. Someone is hopefully still waiting for me. Table for Anderson?" Kurt asked, almost apologetically. He didn't miss the glare of the waitress as the woman checked the book.
"He's been waiting for almost an hour you know." The woman said as she led him to the table. "I get that it's not my business but you should've have seen him for the past twenty minutes. Start treating him well and I won't spit in your food." Kurt's eyebrows shot up at the woman's words and nodded sheepishly. "He just went to the bathroom, should be out in a minute. I hope that won't be too long a wait for you." The woman said before going back to her other clients. Kurt sat there in shock, feeling like a little boy being scolded because he'd drawn on the wall. He looked down at his hand and waited for Blaine to come back, not daring to look around in case he met the woman's eyes.
After ten minutes of waiting Kurt stood up and went to see if Blaine was alright. He carefully pushed the door open and entered the bathroom, and witnessed Blaine mumbling to himself as he stood in front of the sink, a hand full of tissue covered with blood as the other pointed at his own reflection.
"Blaine, are you okay?" Kurt stepped closer, taking the whole scene in. Blaine had blood all over his hands, chin and shirt and he had probably used the whole roll of tissue. "Oh, Blaine. Let me help you."
Blaine jumped a little at the man's voice. When he saw who it was a mortified look appeared on his face and he winced a little as Kurt moved closer.
"No, just.... I can handle it, go back to the table. I'll be there in a minute." Blaine argued scooting away when Kurt tried to reach for him only to receive a glare from the taller man.
"I'm not leaving you alone in here like this. Let me help you." Blaine rolled his eyes and reluctantly let Kurt handle it. He carefully took the tissue out of Blaine hands to assess the bleeding. It wasn't good but there was no need to go to the hospital. "Okay Blaine, tilt your head back a little. There, just like that." Kurt helped Blaine, supporting the singer's head with his hand as he applied tissues to the man's nose, trying to stop the bleeding.
It took Blaine a few seconds to register how close they were to each other. They had been that close before but this time he studied the other man's face closely. To put it simply, he was beautiful. But the beauty of the man wasn't all and Blaine quickly found himself relaxing in his touch and presence. It was soothing to be around him. Blaine discovered that being helped by the designer made him feel protected, as though he could let go of all the worries and pain he had, nothing really mattered. Blaine was so deep in thought that he didn't register that the designer was talking to him.
"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" Kurt smiled playfully and shook his head a little at the man.
"I just said that the bleeding stopped and that you could move closer to the sink so I could clean you a little." Blaine blushed furiously and nodded before doing as he was told. Kurt carefully washed his chin and nose, scrunching his nose in concentration, and once again Blaine couldn't help but blatantly stare at him.
"Okay, wash your hands and we're good to go." Once there were done Kurt put his jacket over Blaine's shoulders and zipped it. Blaine looked at him, confused.
"You don't want to go in there with a shirt covered in blood, this will do." Kurt answered, winking at him and taking his hand. He led them back to the table and waited for the waitress to come back, not that he was in any rush to see her.
"I'm so sorry. I just ruined this date and this is just not how I planned this. You were supposed to walk in and I would have pulled out a chair for you, we would have ordered too much wine and talked about silly things and instead I just covered the both of us with blood. I'm so, so sorry –"
"Blaine," Kurt cut in, "You don't have to apologize for anything. I should be the one apologizing. I was very, very late and didn't shoot you a text or anything and just like our lovely waitress pointed it out, you had to wait for me all this time."
"She did what?" Blaine asked smiling a little and frowning.
"I think you just earned a fan or a bodyguard because she almost skinned me alive." Blaine burst out laughing and wiped away a couple of tears. "Hey, don't you dare laugh. It was scary, she was scary! I thought I was going to die for a minute. She even threatened to spit in my food!" This only got Blaine to laugh harder and to catch said waitress' attention. "Oh god, Blaine she's coming to us, she is gonna kill me." Kurt whispered seconds before the woman reached their table.
"You alright there?" She asked, obviously not interested in Kurt's wellbeing. Blaine nodded and tried to hide his smile. "Okay, good. So, what will it be?"
She carefully took Blaine's order and turned to Kurt, not even talking to him or looking back. When she was finished she snapped her head up, narrowed her eyes and motioned to Kurt that she was looking at him with two fingers pointed at her then him, threateningly. The moment she turned around Kurt let out a breath and Blaine laughed again.
"Stop laughing! This is not funny, have you seen her?" When Blaine wouldn't stop, Kurt sat back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest, pouting.
"Okay, okay. I'm stopping now. But you have to admit that it was hilarious." The designer shook his head and leaned closer to the table.
"No it wasn't, I'm scarred for life. We are never coming back to this place ever again." They smiled sweetly at each other for a few seconds before Kurt spoke again. "I didn't get the chance to finish what I was saying. I wanted to tell you that you have nothing to be sorry about. I was the one running late and if it's that important to you, I'll let you pull my chair next time." Kurt stopped dead silent for a minute before blurting out. "I mean if you want it to be another time and if you don't want it's cool too. I mean –"
"Okay." Blaine answered as he looked into the man's eyes.
"Okay?"
"Yeah, I'd love it if there was another time, even if we've barely started this." They both nodded to themselves and let everything sink in. Blaine didn't dare say anything and lowered his head as he smiled broadly, almost glowing with happiness at the mention of a second date.
Before they knew it the waitress was back with their food. "Enjoy, lovely. As for you, be glad I didn't do anything to your meal." With that, she walked away.
"See!" the taller man pointed as Blaine shook his head, smiling. "Fine. So tell me, how was it to be in high school with Sebastian Smythe, of all people?" Blaine growled and scrunched his nose in disgust.
"It was horrible. Don't get me wrong, he can be tolerable, when he wants to, but most of the time he is just insufferable. I can't count how many times he hid toys in my room and hit on me. He stole Wes' gavel, which is like an extension of himself, because he wanted to be captain instead of the captain."
They talked about high school and how they participated in the same competitions without even bumping into each other when here in New York they had, several times. Blaine talked about his friends, Nick and Jeff's bond, and the Warblers.
"They really are like your family." Kurt acknowledged, taking in the piece of information.
"They really are. For a very long time they were all I had. Hell, they still are. Them and my grandmother. They are crazy and completely dysfunctional, but every family is, I guess." Blaine answered with a hopeless shrug.
Kurt tilted his head and worried his bottom lip before carefully asking.
"You never talk about your parents, you know."
"I know. There isn't so much to say." Blaine didn't look up, he squeezed his eyes shut and waited for some sort of courage to come. Instead he felt a soft hand slide into his and give a reassuring squeeze. Blaine automatically snapped his eyes open to find cerulean ones looking right back at him. It was all it took to get him to talk.
"They never really took any interest in me. I always thought it was because they just didn't love me, or because I wasn't anything like my brother. I found out later it was because I'm gay," Blaine said evenly, like it was a normal occurrence Kurt hurt for the boy in front of him, who never got the chance to be completely loved and accepted by his own parents for who he was. He got love from somewhere else, thank god. But the love of a parent is not something you should have to give up on. Kurt started to draw circles with his thumb on Blaine's hand, hoping it would help him a little. "When Granny found out about it, she beat the crap out of them. Well, I mean, she slapped my dad pretty hard for an elderly woman. That day she yelled through the whole house and when she was done shouting profanities she grabbed my arm and got me out of the house and into her limo and I never went back. They never tried to contact me ever again and I never saw them again. That's what hurt the most, you know. They didn't even fight to get me back. They were satisfied with me gone."
"I'm sorry you had to go through all of that." Kurt answered, massaging Blaine's hand.
"It was a long time ago, and it's so not first date material. Anything fun happen in your classes today?"
And just like that they were back to lighter subjects. It felt so natural for Kurt, him being here and talking to Blaine. It was easy and it felt so comfortable. Blaine was babbling in front of him and talking passionately about something Kurt wasn't even paying attention to. What the man was paying attention to, though, was the way Blaine's face lit up when he was so passionately talking about something he liked. Kurt also found himself nodding at Blaine's rambling and looking down at their linked hands. He hadn't let go of it since the beginning of the conversation about Blaine's parents, and Kurt found that he didn't mind at all. It was like everything fit perfectly. The brunette gave a small squeeze and let go of Blaine's hand.
It didn't happen in slow motion, and he didn't even mean to. But there it was. Kurt caught a glimpse of Blaine's mark. It was still very much covered and he couldn't even get a letter out clearly. But he could discern the ink. The ink that marked Blaine as somebody else's. Suddenly a cold shiver ran down Kurt's spine.
"I, uh... It's getting late and I have classes tomorrow... We should, I should go back to my place." Kurt blurted out nervously. He couldn't get out quick enough. Blaine nodded politely and smiled at him, not letting him pay anything since he was the one that had asked him out and once they were outside offered to walk him to his place. Kurt invented an evident lie and almost ran away from the man.
Blaine stood in the middle of the pavement, utterly confused and pained. He wondered all the way back to his place what had happened and if he had said something to hurt the designer. It had been obvious that the man wanted nothing more than to get away from him or from the restaurant. But either way, he still didn't want him anywhere near, and it hurt much more than it should have. Then again, nothing really made sense when it came to how Blaine felt for that man.
When Kurt finally got back to his place he violently opened the door, and made his way in as fast as he could. He didn't see the shoes in the middle of the entryway and tripped over them, almost falling head first against the door. He caught himself and furiously marched into the living room. Puck and Sebastian were sitting on the couch watching some TV show about wrestlers. They didn't get the opportunity to greet the man before he started yelling at them.
"If I wanted to live in a barn I would've stayed in Lima. Now I think that the middle of the entryway isn't really the place to store your shoes, so tidy your shit! I'm not your maid and dying before I reach twenty-five isn't in any of my plans." Kurt shouted at the men before turning around dramatically and rushing into his room, leaving them flabbergasted. Puck turned his head back to Sebastian and stated:
"He was talking about you, you know."
"Oh, I'm sure he was. I'm not the one growing a brand new environment in the fridge because I don't know what a trashcan is. He was talking about you." Sebastian fired back, taking a sip of his beer.
"He hates your guts, Cinderella. He was talking about you." Puck pointed as they fell into banter about who was the biggest pig in the house. They didn't stop until they heard muffled crying coming from the designer's room. It was obvious that the man was crying and it never happened. Neither Sebastian nor even Puck could remember ever seeing him cry and they looked at each other, completely lost.
"Should we leave or something?" Sebastian asked, visibly uncomfortable.
"Hey! K is my man. I'm not leaving him alone." Sebastian rolled his eyes and answered.
"This isn't war, for fuck's sake. He isn't gonna die. Right?" Puck shook his head and looked back to the hallway.
"I don't think so. Maybe we should... I don't know, hug him or something. What is it that you gay guys do to comfort each other?" Sebastian glared back at the mohawked man.
"You do know you are being offensive. Besides, how the fuck should I know?"
"Aren't you gay?" Puck asked, eyes wide and looking a bit confused.
"Oh for god's sake. You're fucking dense. Yes, I am but no I don't know what the hell we should do."
"Let's go hug him then." Puck pressed some more.
"I will not hug him. Are you out of your fucking mind? I don't do hugs. No way."
"Smythe, you don't want me to send Daddy one of your sex tapes." Puck warned. At the words the brunette stopped suddenly and his mouth fell open.
"How the fuck... What the hell?! That is fucking private, where did you even find it? I swear I hid it... You went through my stuff! You are such a fucking sneaky bastard, Puckerman!"
"Oh, shut it. So, hugging my man. You're in?" Sebastian shut his mouth and glared heavily at Puck who was patiently waiting.
"You're gonna pay for that." The brunette warned as he stood up and walked behind Puck.
Kurt threw himself on his bed the second he closed the door. He couldn't believe he had fooled himself that much. How could he have forgotten for one second that he didn't even have a chance. Maybe Blaine was interested in him right now or maybe not. But in the end it didn't matter what Blaine thought about him, because at some point his soulmate was going to walk into Blaine's life and no one would matter but him. Not Kurt, not anyone but Blaine's soulmate.
Kurt cried for the first time in years. He cried for being such a fool, for letting himself believed in something that wasn't even true and would never be true. Blaine wasn't his Blaine. He could never be and no one could replace him. Kurt didn't want anyone to replace him. He also knew that he couldn't take anyone else place no matter how bad he wanted to. And it was delusional of him to have even thought about it for a tiny moment in the restaurant. It was so easy to make himself pretend that he didn't know better. It was so easier to lose himself in Blaine's eyes or in his voice. It was like his personal siren song. But Kurt knew better and the mere sight of the trace of Blaine's mark had been like a cold shower he much needed. Kurt knew better than to get his hopes up. He was bound to be left alone no matter what. Why should he even give Blaine the tool to break his heart if he could prevent it?
Kurt buried his face in his tear-soaked pillow and tried to block any thoughts about that evening or about Blaine. He was so lost in making himself stop thinking that he didn't hear the men coming into his room and lying on each of his sides. He wasn't even startled when the two men scooted closer to hug him, squeezing him in a Puck and Sebastian sandwich.
They lay there until they all fell asleep, Puck because he could sleep pretty much everywhere, Sebastian because he was bored and Kurt because of all the crying.
The last thing Kurt had in mind before drifting to sleep was that he would never experience what the love of your soulmate was, but he at least could rely on his friends and at the moment it was all he needed and had.