Nov. 20, 2012, 3:45 a.m.
Invidia in E-Minor: Chapter 14
E - Words: 6,897 - Last Updated: Nov 20, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 20/20 - Created: Nov 20, 2012 - Updated: Nov 20, 2012 811 0 0 1 0
Kurt was very proud of himself he left his room on the same day he promised to do nothing. Instead he was staring at the library's printer that slowly printed out a few imagines of favorite musicals and a few pictures of friends.
He wasn't fully able to smile anymore, but his lips quirked at a few photos - mainly the ones he made with Blaine. There was the one of Blaine and him making a silly pose on Times Square, made right before going to Tiffany's - Blaine still high on his Juilliard victory.
Nancy was right, he needed to be reminded of the things he loved. Tisch needed to be worth it again - just like it had to become worth after his NYADA disaster.
Unfortunately he didn't have his father or family to help through, but Nancy was the best spoiled niece he could imagine. He should get her something nice.
He hadn't cried yet, but maybe he wasn't the crying type when it came to break-ups. Or maybe he was just doubting it again, because he had been contemplating on handing Nancy the blackbird pin after all. But something had made him decide against it and the piece of jewelry remained in his wallet where he hid it. He might not be able to wear it anymore in fear that Nancy would just rip it off his clothes, but at least he could keep it close.
The printer beeped that it was done and Kurt piled up the replacement pictures. He went through them again while making his way back to his dorm room.
Inside the room he looked over the emptiness, the new created loneliness it barely had seen because he and Cooper had started so early in the school year.
He let down the pile of papers and got some scissors from the drawer of his desk. He was halfway his third picture, a poster from the upcoming Spice Girls musical, when he eyed up to his room again.
Some redecoration would do him good, he thought.
Soon his walls were no longer just picture frames, but also banners from Tisch and NYU he had kept under his bed. He rearranged his musical playbills so they would have an honoree position and he kept on muttering how badly he wanted to paint his walls, but because he only had the room for only a few more months it was a waste of money. Pictures were no longer just in frames, but also hanging scattered across the wall. There was some kind of pattern, and Kurt was digging the student-esk look.
Yes, redecorating was going awesome and definitely kept his mind of Cooper and all things bad.
He was changing his bed-sheets to match the banners when Nancy stormed in, panting heavily and eyes widened.
"What?" Kurt asked, but his hand was taken by Nancy and she started to pull him along. "What's going on?" Nancy snatched his keys from his desk and locked the door for him on the outside, meaning they were going quite far away. "Should I get a jacket?" he asked, but Nancy just tugged him along without saying a single word.
He ran to keep up with her while they crossed Tisch campus, bumping into several people whom did have classes that day.
The realization they were heading to the hall with the message-boards didn't kick in until he entered it. Around the freshmen-board was a big crowd of students, all talking loudly and screaming of joy - some walked away with disappointed looks.
"Oh my God." he whispered and felt his heart speed up with epic proportions. Nancy pulled him through the crowd and both of them ignored everyone around them. Kurt was pretty sure he bruised some toes, but the numbness in his head and the pounding of his heart overruled it all.
Together they reached the front of the crowd, staring hand in hand at the pieces of paper with the enormous cast of the Witchard of Oz.
CASTING FRESHMEN MUSICAL ‘THE WITCHARD OF OZ'
following cast will be presented during the performances mid-June
DOROTHY/DORIAN GALE ....................................................................................... KURT HUMMEL
Kurt took a few sharp breaths, clasping his hand around Nancy's before closing his eyes and letting the piled up tears flow down like a waterfall. He got the part.
On Monday Kurt discovered exactly what he needed: distraction.
Not like a sappy movie, ice-cream eating kind of distraction.
But a bone-aching, muscle-stretching, vocal chords-hurting kind of distraction. And getting the lead-part fulfilled that wanted distraction perfectly. This was no McKinley High amateur production - this was years of experience and expectations, this was fully drilled Tisch and that meant the lead needed to make the audience cry, laugh, smile, whatever was needed to set the bar for next year.
Especially now they were breaking grounds by open-gendering the play, their eyes were on Kurt's every move.
He knew what he signed up for, or where Nancy forced him to sign up for, but it was even more than they both anticipated.
Nancy had landed the role of the Cowardly Lioness - and was ridiculously pleased with that - until they were making her write an essay on animal and lion behavior ("I'm not going to school to become a vet!"), but at least it was better than Piper's ‘homework' of writing a report called ‘Fifty Shades of Green', as she got the part of the Wicked Witch (which was oddly suiting for her personality).
Jack, the guy who made the weird mechanical noises when warming up, got - very fitting - the role of Tin Man, which was twisting into some kind of robot-dancing b-boy.
A girl named Summer, and was as air-headed as her part, became the Scarecrow - and first confused it with the name-sharing villain from Batman.
But nobody really cared for those supplemental parts - because all eyes were on him.
First weeks of rehearsal were mainly getting to know your character, breakdown of small scenes to analyze chemistry between the actors and private vocal and acting classes. Kurt's sessions were twice as many than the other students and he enjoyed the fact that it consumed loads of time.
On Wednesdays they had group-rehearsals, mostly dancing and Kurt had to blend in with a few numbers. It was the Wednesday after he got the part that they were breaking down the scene where he gets his ruby slippers, and the entire ensemble gasped in awe when Ms. Shannen pulled out a pair of shiny blank boots.
Kurt wasn't really getting the importance of the moment, but even Nancy - hiding in the ensemble - was jumping up and down like a grass hopper.
The teacher handed him the boots and Kurt raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah," Ms. Shannen started, "They may be nothing now, but when costume and art are done with it, say hello to your ruby slippers." She copied his facial expression. "We want you to walk them in first before we shake ‘em up."
That had gotten his attention, and with similar star struck look he turned the new-smelling boots in his hands. It was his size - of course, because the entire costume department already had taken everybody sizes. From the line of his neck to the distance between fingers - everything was safely locked up in the Tisch archives.
These shoes in his hands were the real star of the show, and Kurt had to outshine them. With a mischievous smile he turned to the group, sunk down to his knees and replaced his rehearsal shoes with the future ruby ones. They fitted perfectly.
Once the shoes were on he jumped up with a smile and everybody started to cheer, well - everybody except Piper, but screw her.
He couldn't wait to see the shoes fully done, but until then he had to work with this and right before they continued their rehearsal, Kurt realized he had smiled for the first time since forever.
---
Even though the rehearsals and sessions were a welcoming distraction, Kurt still came home to his dorm-room with an empty feeling. The fact that his body hurt from all the dancing was a mere reminder he still had something inside and that he wasn't a complete shell.
On the Sunday morning after his first week of rehearsals, Kurt had gotten into a new phase of post-break-up-stress - anger.
Not only was he pissed because he barely heard anything from Blaine, he also found out that Cooper was the main reason behind that. Kurt was being ridiculous, and he knew that, but Blaine had promised to e-mail him.
And no e-mail had come yet.
He had checked several times if he had sent the correct e-mail and yes he had, but Blaine had texted him he was busy with Regionals - completely understandable, and of course Juilliard, and Blaine had been texting of course - but a little e-mail on Sunday morning had ripped those excuses apart.
Kurt had planned a Skype session with his dad, but before that he was refreshing his mailbox over and over again and finally a new e-mail popped up. Except it wasn't from Blaine.
It was from Cooper.
And between the usual lines of his apology of what happened, it simply stated that he was in Ohio - where Blaine was, and that he was leaving for L.A. next Friday.
Breaths came shuddering after reading that and the e-mail was faster deleted than it came. He had had a hunch Cooper wasn't in New York anymore, but he hadn't expect him to go to Ohio and steal Kurt's shoulder to cry on.
"I'm overreacting." he told himself, fisting his hair. "He's his brother and he wasn't picking sides." And Blaine had school, friends and other activities. But somewhere in his mind a dark little voice told him that Cooper was doing it on purpose. "He wouldn't." But what if he knew that Blaine was the first person he thought of together with Nancy? "He's upset as well." Except the dark little voice was having overhand.
His father's Skype ID popped up that he was online and Kurt called him immediately. His dad wasn't even completely sharp on his laptop before he coldly said: "I broke up with Cooper."
Burt's eyebrows shot up. "Well, good morning to you too." The remark was typically his father, always joking. "That's - unexpected. Did he... do anything?"
"No. Yes." His hands were back fisting his hair. "I don't know."
"Well, there must've been something. People don't break up for no reason."
Kurt didn't answer. Instead he stared at his father, the room behind it and remembered that it was in Ohio, where Cooper was. And Blaine.
"I'm just... pissed off." he finally said, but it didn't feel bad. It felt good being pissed off, it felt good telling someone that they'd broke up and not in the cryptic way he told Nancy.
"Do you college kids still have a Spring Break?" his dad suddenly asked and Kurt was thrown off track for a second.
"Yes, March sixteenth, or something."
"Did you have already plans?"
Kurt pursed his lips. "Not really, Nancy and I were hoping to keep our minds from the play - OH! Oh my God!" He slapped his hand to hide his mouth.
"What? Kurt?" Burt sounded distressed, but Kurt simply stared at the screen in horror. Because of Cooper, the rehearsals, the partying the weekend after the release of the cast and he was required to come - he had completely forgotten to tell his own father that he had gotten the part of Dorian.
Guilt crawled up his body. This was bad. This breaking up thing was doing horrible things to him: pushing things aside, judging his friend for being there for his brother and he was being plain selfish.
It made Kurt consider never to fall in love again so he would never get through this horrible time again.
"Kurt? What play?"
"I, uh, -" he bit his lip, "The school play - the end one in June. I, kind of, got the lead."
Kurt would always remember the way his father cheered loudly, completely making him forget that Cooper was there - somewhere.
With a loud thud Cooper dumped his handbag on the paved floor of the airport of Columbus. Blaine had helped him with his other luggage at the check in and it was time his brother headed toward security, but somehow they had stranded a few feet away from it.
Cooper sighed deeply, slumping his shoulders while Blaine eyed him with his usual grin.
"Thanks for driving me, Blainey." his brother said.
"Like I could say no when you were practically choking me." Blaine rolled his eyes at the memory. It had been two weeks since Cooper unannounced appeared at the Anderson home and every day had been a little step toward this moment.
Cooper had eaten the entire content of the freezer, cried on his lap on several occasions and other days he had been completely cold, not wanting to talk to anyone.
It had went from total breakdown to denial to a few words of acceptance. Blaine had never seen his brother like that and neither had his parents.
Yesterday Cooper had stormed into his room without knocking, as he did the entire stay, and wrapped him in a bone-crushing hug.
"Will you come to the airport with me tomorrow?" he had asked softly and Blaine was having trouble breathing. But if he was to be honest - he would have taken Cooper to the airport if he had thrown sticks at him.
And after shoving everything into the car ("Why are you bringing a lamp? Put it back, Cooper."), half an hour singing along with the radio on their way to Columbus and after five minutes of driving turning around because Cooper had forgotten something, they arrived at the airport.
"Well," Cooper started, "I guess this is where I get inappropriately touched by a stranger." He nodded at security, but made no intentions of picking up his bag.
"You'll be fine." Blaine said.
Cooper stared at him with soft eyes, a small twitch of a smile on his lips and made an unsure movement with his arms.
"Yeah." he muttered before pulling Blaine into another hug. "Will you too?"
"Yes." Blaine smiled and tried to back out of the hug, but Cooper was holding him tight.
"Thank you." he said. "For everything."
"Yeah, next time I'll charge you." Blaine said with an amused undertone. Finally Cooper allowed Blaine to break the hug and for a minute they simply stared at each other.
"I will see you in a few weeks?" Cooper asked unsure and Blaine scoffed that he already had the ticket to come to Los Angeles. "Just making sure."
Blaine bit his lip, touched by the sensitive state of his brother. "Don't forget me when you're famous."
Cooper let out a genuine laugh. It was the same thing Blaine had said before he left for college in New York.
"Maybe this time." he said seriously. "And I wouldn't dare to forget you."
"Just making sure." Blaine echoed.
They were running out of things to say so Cooper bended over to pick up his bag.
"I'll see you. March sixteenth. Saturday." he said it slowly so he could see Blaine confirm every part of it.
"Have a good flight, Coop."
With a final nod, Cooper turned around to security and disappeared into the mass. Blaine sighed deeply and searched in his pockets for the car-keys. He needed to head home; he had a song to record.
"Change of plans!" Nancy said before greeting and sat down across him in the library.
"Hmm?" Kurt quietly shut the Judy Garland book to listen to his friend, whom was already shushed by the librarian.
"My parents are kidnapping me with Spring Break." she said regretfully. "Something about family bonding time and my little brother is blackmailing me."
"But - the apartment -" Kurt stammered. They had been planning on starting earlier on the apartment hunt, mainly starting the break.
"I know, I know." She pouted. "Trust me, I'm upset as well. But we'll just have to reschedule."
"Too busy." Kurt said, thinking of all the upcoming rehearsals and workshops.
"We'll find time. And in the mean time you can relax and enjoy your holiday." She nodded at the book in front of him. "Get your head out of the wonderful Oz."
"I swear to God, I skip in my sleep." Kurt admitted. "But I think I'll go home then. To Ohio, I mean."
"You should!" Nancy exclaimed, getting another stern look from the librarian. "See Blaine, your family. Get a tan -"
"No, Dorian should not have a tan and it's Ohio not Miami, come on."
Nancy shrugged. "I think freckles are cute." Kurt cursed the day he told Nancy he got freckles when being kissed by the sun.
Unconsciously Kurt started to chew on his tongue. Going to Ohio would be good, especially seeing his dad and Carole - maybe even Finn, although California was more likely to be popular during Spring Break.
"You don't think -" Nancy said quietly, "That.. Cooper, would - ?"
"Cooper starts filming the week after, so I doubt that he would be there." he answered shortly. "But, yeah. No Witchard, no stress." Blaine, he added in his head. "I'll go check with my dad with traveling."
Nancy smiled already, happy to have found a solution to her unfortunate planned trip. Kurt gathered his things and together they walked out of the library.
"I'm going to call my dad now, okay?" he said and grabbed his phone from his bag.
"Sure thing, honey bear. I'll see you tomorrow!" Nancy started to skip off
"Don't forget about your essay!" he shouted last minute and Nancy stuck out her tongue. With a grin he turned back on his phone, as he never left it on in the library and was surprised to find a text from Blaine there.
To: Kurt From: Blaine (04:09 PM)
Check your mail.
Needless to say Kurt started to jog to his room and laptop. Cooper had been gone to L.A. for almost three days now, meaning Blaine no longer had to be there for him and even though Kurt was still raging over the fact he barely had heard something from Blaine, this little notification that he hadn't forgotten him made him already a bit cheery.
His laptop was taking for ever to start up and finally he opened his mailbox to find, indeed, a new e-mail from Blaine. Quickly he opened it, but felt the joy vanish when he saw it was empty. Until a little enclosure caught his eye and greedily he clicked on it.
Immediately a video popped up and after ages of loading, it showed a room with warm dark green colors, an instrument that seemed to be a keyboard in the middle of the screen and then Blaine popped up, walking carefully away from the camera.
Oh, that must be Blaine's room.
"Hey Kurt." Blaine said on his screen. "So this is completely cheesy, probably out of line, but it's the only thing I could really think about to cheer you up."
Kurt's heart started to pump a little faster, making the blood spread at maximum level.
"No, I will not play you my Juilliard piece." he said with a chuckle and Kurt repressed a whine that said ‘Why not?'. "But I do have something else, something from one of my favorite artists. A true inspiring person -" he stared at the camera seriously. "Pink!" Blaine smiled as if he could hear Kurt snort loudly. "So, here we go."
Blaine started to play and sing Pink's Fuckin' Perfect and Kurt had to admit - it was pretty fucking perfect. Everything from the past weeks was forgiven and he was about to press replay, but was stopped by Blaine whom was talking after the song.
"So, I hope that worked. If not and you're offended, sorry. Music is always my escape and getaway, so I wanted to share that. Uhm," Blaine blinked a couple of times, "I don't know if you're coming to Ohio with the Spring Break and all, but I'm away from the sixteenth -"
"What?" Kurt said appalled.
"But you can call me, e-mail me, whatever."
Shy Blaine had returned and the video was suddenly cut off.
"No." Kurt mumbled. "No, no, no." You are not allowed to be away when I come.
His entire schedule appeared in front of his mind and Spring Break definitely started on the sixteenth for him, unless. He cocked an eyebrow. He still had Fridays off - he could always surprise Blaine at McKinley.
Quickly he dialed his father's number.
"Hey Dad, so I was thinking... maybe I can come to Ohio on the fifteenth?"
---
With the travel information safely pinned on his message-board inside his room, Kurt faced the inevitable task of keeping his surprise visit an actual surprise.
First and foremost; he wanted to drop in during Glee club and if Mr. Schue was still keeping his old schedule, it was possible to pop up at the afternoon rehearsal, but he needed to be sure.
"Only one way to find out." he muttered one evening, dialing Blaine's number and set it up on speaker so he could freely move around.
The phone beeped loudly until it followed by some shuffling. "Hello?"
Kurt automatically smiled. "Thank you for the video."
Blaine chuckled on the other end of the line. "Kurt, you texted me already like a million thank-yous."
"I can't say it enough."
"How are the rehearsals?"
Kurt still wasn't sure how Blaine had found out about him getting the lead part, as Kurt never had told him with many words - but he suspected that Nancy had something to with it.
They talked about Kurt's musical for a little while until Kurt started to change the subject to his goal: finding out whether Blaine had Glee practice on Fridays.
"How's Glee club?" he bluntly asked.
Blaine huffed. "You mean the trainwreck that is New Directions?"
"Trainwreck?" Kurt frowned. "What happened?"
"You don't want to know."
"I do, please, I need my Gee club crack."
"Say crack again."
"Crack."
"Ha!" Blaine cheered. "Sorry, Mean Girls reflex."
Kurt let out a chuckle before pushing again. "Come on, what's going on? Did Brittany set the auditorium on fire? Again?"
"Hm, no." He sighed. "I haven't really been completely up to date with the group to be honest, Juilliard and all, but apparently everyone's love life is reaching a low point."
"Wuh-oh."
"So Mr. Schue is making us sing our feelings, for real."
Kurt made a little gagging sound. He was all for singing feelings and all, but in Glee club it usually turned into publicly shunning and or serenading.
"Ugh, are you singing?"
A silence followed.
"No." Blaine said very small.
Kurt pursed his lips at Blaine's tone, a liar over the phone was hard to find, but this definitely sounded like he didn't want to say something. Interesting.
"Is Mr. Schue still making you practice at the end of Fridays? I always hated that."
"Yeah, he is. Has something to do with football practice." He went quiet. "Why?"
"No reason." Kurt quickly quipped.
"Anyway, I'm actually happy you called. Not that I don't mind you calling otherwise, but this was just convenient, erhm. I need your help."
Kurt moved around his room, readjusting a few things that didn't need to be readjusted and eventually asked how he could help Blaine.
"So, okay, so the first year orchestra is currently working on my piece."
"Wow, Blaine, that's exciting!"
"Yeah, the conductor who's going to be my co-conductor sent me a video of a rehearsal and - woah." Blaine seemed to relive the moment before continuing. "Anyway, it's all amazing -"
"If it's amazing, I'm not sure why you'd need my help." Kurt started to reorganize his desk.
"Kurt, I'm terrified." Blaine loudly sucked in a breath.
"But why?" he asked with scissors in his hand, frozen on the spot. "It's going well, right?"
"Without me, yeah! After regionals I'm going there and stand in front of a lot of talented and older people and I need to impress a lot of important people and, Kurt, I can't screw this up."
"You won't." Kurt said hard. "Remember when you told me I wouldn't choke on my audition? Well I didn't, because you told me I wouldn't."
"But even if I don't, what if the piece just comes over soulless and the jury will just shake their heads -"
"You've already gotten into the school, Blaine, I hardly think your piece is soulless." He huffed. "You're even more of a doubter than me."
"Kurt, this is not helping. There's - there's a lot at stake."
Kurt took a moment before answer ring, trying to find the correct words.
"You're already amazing, Blaine, and if you really want to excel... then do something that will make you stand out. Take a little risk. Make them remember you. It's best theatre advice I can give you."
He heard Blaine suck in a deep breath.
"Thanks, Kurt."
"Any time, we're there for each other right?"
"That we are. Okay, yes, thank you. I should get back to packing -"
"You never told me where you're going." Kurt asked with a pout even though Blaine couldn't see it.
"I, uhm. Just visiting family."
Kurt got up to get his phone. "Alright then, have fun packing."
"Packing is hell." Blaine commented dryly.
"Good luck then." he chuckled.
"Later." Blaine hung up and Kurt rolled his phone in his hands.
"See you soon." he whispered.
Kurt was in the middle of finishing his Judy Garland essay when there were mumbles right in front of the door of his dorm-room, followed by some intense knocking.
The knocking started to increase and Kurt jumped up to open whomever wanted to come in. Upon opening he was confronted with a lot of talking and a grumpy looking Nancy, but she wasn't the one who was talking and he knew that voice very well.
Kurt's eyes went down to find Rachel Berry, soaked to the bone because of the heavy raining New York had been having and rambling as usual.
"- And I've known him since Sophomore year -"
"Does this belong to you?" Nancy grunted and held out Rachel as if she was a lost cat.
"K-Kurt!" she squealed, teeth chattering.
He took one look more at the hopeful girl before looking back up to Nancy.
"No." he said low and was about to close the door again, but Rachel had put her foot in between.
"No! Kurt you let me in or I will stay in front of your door and sing Diva's Lament all night!" She sounded threatening and Kurt chagrined opened the door wide enough to let her in. Rachel wanted to hug him in greeting, but the look on his face told her she should better just go in.
Nancy eyed the scene with a skeptic and worried eye.
"You gonna be okay? Need back-up?" she asked unsure, but Kurt shook his head.
"I'll be fine. If something goes wrong and I need to hide the body, you'll help me, right?"
"Of course." Nancy peeked around Kurt one last time before thinning her lips into a small line. It was obvious Nancy and Rachel didn't get along during the way over to his room. How Rachel managed to find Nancy was a story he'd like to hear another time and with his eyes rolling he shut the door.
He found Rachel looking around the wall of musical posters with fake interest as she already knew all of them.
"N-nice, -" her voice was even shriller than usual, "place, your room and - and your friend."
Uhu. Sure.
Rachel was either shaking from nerves or the cold and Kurt wanted to take her jacket, offer her warm clothes or a towel at least. But he didn't.
"Rachel, why are you here?"
"I thought -" she started, still avoiding any eye-contact, "I'd stop by! See how you live, ooh Judy Garland! Remember our duet -"
"Rachel, it's been pouring for three days straight. Only insane people leave the house and you decide to just ‘stop by'?"
Rachel wasn't listening. Instead she had taken an interest in the wall of pictures, observing every one of them closely.
"Rachel." Kurt said a bit louder, but still no response. "Rachel!" he snapped and finally she looked straight at him. "If you're here to deflect all my questions and have no way of telling me your reason, I must ask you to get out before -"
"I'm dropping out of NYADA."
A heavy silence followed, thick with questions and answers while Kurt stared at her with big shocked eyes.
"Wha-?"
"It's horrible, Kurt." Tears were springing into her eyes and Kurt remained frozen on the spot. "It's like Vocal Adrenaline the University! N-Nobody's nice or friendly. Everybody is just focused on killing off competition and searching out the weak link and guess what! I'm that weak link! It's like that movie where the children all kill each other for food! But this time - for solos!"
Kurt wasn't sure what he was hearing, surely he must be dreaming because Rachel Berry was telling him NYADA, the school of his dreams, the school he had shed many tears over, was awful?
"And - and, I've should've known straight from that mixer we went to! They're all like me, Kurt! Little Rachel Berry minions walking around, claiming the best spots in - in everything!"
Absentmindedly Kurt stared up at the wall filled with Tisch banners, remembering how good and normal the school was.
"It's been like ages since I had a solo -" Rachel was fully crying now and Kurt's focus returned to her. "And you've got a perfect life -" He straightened his back in defense, why was she bringing him up? "With Tisch, and friends and - and," she let out an atrocious sob, "and the lead, don't - don't think I didn't see the posters on my way here! I saw your name in ruby red, Kurt! It's like, like you got it all, even - even a boyfriend," Kurt felt his heart sink, "and that boy at Tiffany's that stared at you like you're the most amazing person in the world -"
"Wait what?"
"And I have nothing." she cried. "All I have is a pot-smoking roommate who still thinks my name is Rachym."
Slowly she sank down onto his desk-chair, clutching herself between her arms in a self-hug. It was a pathetic display and Kurt was torn between being cold and compassionate. Somehow he found a way in between, walked to his closet with Rachel following him with her gaze and found a snug sweater. He handed it to her without any kindness in his face.
"Here, you don't want to catch a cold."
"Are you going to kick me out?" she asked frightened and he shook his head as an answer. "Are you going to talk to me?"
He simply shrugged, grabbed the book from his desk and settled on his bed instead, flipping mindlessly through pages without catching one word.
"You're just going to sit there, read a book and ignore me?" She sounded appalled and once again Kurt simply shrugged. "You've got nothing to say on everything I just told you?"
"I'm processing, Rachel, please let me."
"But -"
"I have to finish this before Spring Break, Rachel."
"But what am I supposed to do?" she shrieked and Kurt stared at her over his book.
"Entertain yourself, you've got a phone right? Or better - go home."
"I can't! I got thrown out for the night! And Santana isn't coming back to New York until after the break! I have nowhere to go."
Kurt perked up. "Santana is coming back to New York?" He hadn't really heard from her since Christmas.
"Uhu." Rachel said. "She's going to start studying social studies, starting spring semester. At Silver."
He smiled a little.
"Good for her." And returned to his book.
"Wait? You're more interested in her life than in mine?"
"Well pardon me for liking the girl that punched Karofsky in the face more than the girl that betrayed me in senior year."
Rachel went quiet for a moment and Kurt tried to focus on the paragraph, but Rachel was just staring around his room not sure what to do with herself.
"That party looked like fun." she muttered and pointed at the picture of him and Nancy at the Halloween party.
"It was."
"They don't have parties and NYADA. Just special clubs where they come together and you only get to come on invitation. I bet the food isn't even kosher -"
"Rachel, please."
She sighed. "You've got more photos of that boy in January than your boyfriend - in fact, you have none of your -"
"We broke up." There he said it, not so perfect life now, right?
"Oh. Well. He was really handsome from what I remember -"
Kurt got up within seconds, book discarded on the bed and fury burning in his belly.
"Rachel Barba Berry, if you don't shut the hell up you need to find another place to sulk in your pettiness, am I clear?" he spat. "I'm already overstepping my sanity by letting you in a radius of ten feet."
"You know what, Kurt Hummel! You're a bitch who can't let go of something stupid in High School -"
"You ruined me!"
"I thought I was the drama queen here! Everything turned out just fine for you and look at me, I'm practically in the gutter!"
"Because everything is about you, isn't it?" Kurt shouted louder than the walls could handle and there was a knock from one of his neighbors asking to keep it down. For a moment only their heavy breathing filled the room as they stared at each other fumingly.
"We never really talked it out." Rachel muttered. "You never let me."
"I didn't, I don't want to hear it." Kurt was sick of all the fighting.
"Okay." Rachel said softly and started to focus on his message board instead.
Kurt was unable to concentrate anymore, flopping back down onto the bed with a sigh.
"Your roommate, does she - does she kick you out often?" Damn his stupid urge to fill an awkward silence. He didn't want to talk to Rachel Berry, he had planned on never seeing her again let alone talk to her and here he was, giving her reasons to talk.
"This is the fourth time. My dads came over during Winter break to talk to the faculty, but they don't control what happens in the dorms." She sighed. "You're lucky with your single room."
Kurt swallowed. There was still a part of him refusing to believe this was happening, but another part - a very evil part - was content about the entire situation. Another part was just sorry for Rachel, and that part was winning against his will.
"Is NYADA really that awful?"
Rachel nodded vividly. "First week, first week, they expected us to know the entire syllabus, which is five hundred pages. And dance practice is hell."
"It's hell everywhere." Kurt tried to sooth but Rachel shook her head.
"Do they require you to do a triple pirouette the first class?" she asked with big scary eyes and Kurt didn't even dare to shake his head.
"It's hell." she repeated. "The entire school is hell."
"But - but it's NYADA, it's, it's all we ever wanted. I mean -"
"Well, props for the marketing department. Stupid brochures."
Kurt stared at her, realizing he hadn't seen her this bitter since she had laryngitis.
"Are you going to Lima?" She nodded to the trainticket to Cincinnati attached to his message board. "I might go too. Get away from this hellhole."
"Yeah," he said, "leaving Thursday night, I want to surprise someone at McKinley."
Rachel raised her eyebrows incredulously. "You? Willingly going back to McKinley?"
"Just Glee Club." Why was he even telling her this?
"It's just, of all people -"
"Leave it." he snapped and Rachel sucked in her lips.
"Can I come?" she suddenly asked and it was Kurt's time to raise his eyebrows. "I've wanted to go, but I don't want to go alone."
"And you think I'll let you come with me?"
Rachel stood up, walking closer to him than she had been since she entered and reached out for him. He flinched and her hand dropped again, instead her fingers started to toy with his sweater.
"Please?" Her voice was small. "Don't you ever just think what could happen if you never solve things from the past? We, we could try? Just for Spring Break?" She dared to place her hand on his shoulder and he didn't move a muscle. "And after that you can kick me out in front of NYADA while you live on to be fabulous, and maybe - maybe we can be friends again?"
Kurt slumped his shoulders. He was tired of holding a grudge against her, knowing life wasn't really that bad at Tisch and that someone had to fight real hard to take it away from him.
He tilted his head up, staring at Rachel intensely before sighing.
"Fine." He winced at the happy sound Rachel made and deflected her hug. "But we'll never be best friends again." She nodded understanding. "I have other people who fill that role. Filling it better than you."
And the thought of seeing one of those best friends again got him through the train-ride a couple of days later. Rachel had composed herself into a friend that was trying too hard, but she was quite helpful at reading lines for the Witchard of Oz.
As they rode deeper into the country Kurt dozed off, not even minding when Rachel threw his coat over him as a blanket. It didn't matter - in a couple of hours he was going to see Blaine again.
The Friday before Spring Break was actually starting pretty uneventful. Blaine had gone to school an hour early so he could stash his violin safely in the auditorium, just in case some puck-heads would see it as a new thing to play with and had to wait until the end of the afternoon before he could actually use it.
Okay, so Blaine hadn't technically lied to Kurt about not singing, but somehow he did feel guilty on keeping the fact he was in the middle of the Glee Club love-crash and was actually performing a secret.
"You alright?" Tina had asked the Monday he had sent Kurt the video. His eyes were permanently glued on his cell phone even though they were supposed work on Tina's audition. Tina had confined in him to give her pointers on her audition for Tisch and every other day they would practice, except Blaine wasn't there with his head at all.
"Hm? Sorry?"
Tina gave him a look. "You keep on staring at your phone and agreed on my story about aliens are real, are you waiting for something?" She grinned at the blush that had crept up his neck and quickly he hid his phone in his pocket so he could focus.
"Let's just continue." he said to shrug off the topic, but Tina was persistent.
"Come on. Is it a guy?" Her eyes started to sparkle at the possibility of some gossip. "It is, isn't it!"
"I'm just... worried about my brother." Which wasn't completely untrue.
"Oh, okay." Tina sighed disappointed. "Too bad."
Blaine burrowed his eyebrows confused. "What do you mean ‘too bad'?"
"I thought it'd be fun if you, you know, had a guy. You kind of deserve it." She shrugged. "I'm sorry, that sounds weird. It would've been nice if you'd also sing this stupid week, because only Sugar singing about her trouble falling in love with a technically not-homeless-anymore man while she has more money than God, is kind of pathetic, don't you agree?"
"Weren't you also singing about long-distance?" Blaine asked, even more confused.
"Yes," she said as-a-matter-of-factly, "but I like it when guys dare to show their emotions." She put down some sheetmusic and sighed a little bit. "I'm sorry. I have no business in your life. You don't have to sing."
That last sentence had made something click inside Blaine's head.
"So I don't have to sing?"
"No." Tina said firmly.
"But can I play?" he asked with a grin and after various hours Tina had agreed on helping him, which eventually led to this Friday.
Someone tapped his shoulder on his way to Geography and Tina was panting lightly in order to keep up with him.
"You're up for this afternoon?" she asked and Blaine nodded.
"Yes, I asked Mr. Shue if we could do it in the Auditorium for full dramatic effect." And so he wouldn't be able to see any faces.
"Awesome, I can't wait to see everybody's reaction when you start playing your violin instead of singing."
Blaine hummed. "Me too, I never thought I would actually get sick of everybody complaining about classical music, but I did." Thinking about the horrid rehearsals for Regionals with their theme ‘a touch of classic'. "Thanks again for singing the song and sorry -"
"Sorry that I have to be out of frame, yeah yeah." Tina finished his sentence. "This song is about you. Your emotions, your story, I'm just an instrument singing and you're the lead. It's as simple as that. Besides, like you said, it's an excellent vocal exercise. The song is emotional and not that shouty, it's perfect!"
Blaine smiled. Yes, the song was perfect. It had been on repeat on several nights as he was pondering on his fantasies of him and Kurt together. Thinking about how he would romantically tell Kurt how long he had been in love with him and, of course, Kurt loving him back.
But he was sure it wouldn't happen any time soon or even at all. He might had been feeling guilty on crushing on his brother's boyfriend, but now they were broken up - the guilt was actually worse. Seeing his brother heartbroken for two weeks had been an eye opener, no matter how badly you wanted things for yourself, there was always someone suffering the lost.
Therefore he had decided to do the song, suck everything up, get the scholarship and live happily ever after with Kurt in New York - as friends. A sad, but realistic, future.
"You know, you never told me about the guy." Tina said and they entered the class-room.
"He -" Blaine swallowed. "He doesn't really live around here."
"But he friendzoned you anyway." she said dryly and Blaine gave her a look. "It's true!"
"I am fully aware."
"Class." The teacher cut them off, turning around to the whiteboard and started to scribble her lesson. Today was going to be a long day.