Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Kurt slowly opened his eyes, facing the most dreaded hall of the entire of Tisch. This is where the greatest of greatest had begun their careers, this is where you're made or broken.

The candidate before him - Piper ­- was still inside, singing her lungs off - seriously, that air control was impressive and Kurt was pretty sure she made the windows shudder in their frames.

After her the casting directors would talk, discuss - probably preaching her up into where the heavens won't reach - and then they would call him in.

So he could audition.

He felt his knees buckle under his weight, making him slide down the wall - hands up to his face, resting against his forehead.

"What am I doing?" he sighed. He hadn't taken any advice from somebody, he didn't let himself get intimidated by anyone - he practiced the hell out of his song and lines.

It had been a year, he was supposed to be over it. Sucking in another breath, he pounded his hands against his head.

The door - the dreaded door - next to him swung open, letting a fairly happy Piper out of her way. Her face was one pig pile of smug, glancing down at Kurt once.

"Break a leg, Nancy boy." she sneered and Kurt felt his mouth drop open. Nobody was allowed to call him names except for Santana (and Nancy occasionally), because they meant it all in good fun. She's just trying to get to you, Kurt thought.

He scrambled back up as soon as she was out of vision lines, reaching for his cell phone to turn it off - he could totally see himself leaving it on during his audition. One last text message popped up before it was switched off completely and with curiosity he tabbed it open.

To: Kurt               From: Blaine     (12:27 PM)
Courage

Kurt stared dumbfounded at the text, a smile creeping up his face.

He jumped up at hearing the door opening once again and a cool woman's voice spoke: "Kurt Hummel."

Kurt straightened his back, making sure his phone was quiet at least and headed toward the open door.

Breathe in.

He passed the woman, giving her a professional smile and the door closed behind him with a slam.

Breathe out.

"Kurt?"

He heard the door of his dorm room screech open, he had left it open in the first place, and Cooper poked his head around the corner. Kurt did the same by showing his face behind the bathroom's door, his nightly cream smudged over half his face and hair still wet from the shower.

"Hey." he simply replied.

Cooper smiled his million dollar smile and shut the door.

"Hello." he said while making his way toward the bed, letting his body flop down onto it. Kurt resumed his routine, spreading out the exfoliating cream some more. He knew why Cooper suddenly showed up the night after his audition, but he wasn't sure if he was going to give it.

With a sigh he continued to brush his teeth, half listening to Cooper humming a song and the voice in his head ranting on. Cooper started to add lyrics to his made-up song, sounding oddly like ‘Cooomeee Kurt.' and ‘I want to cuddlee' and Kurt was officially no longer listening to his ranting mind.

He gave Cooper a pout when he returned to his bedroom. "You made me cut my routine short."

"You'll be fine." Cooper held out his hands to pull Kurt on top of him and Kurt took in the offer gratefully. His body and mind were completely worn out after the audition - and he had no idea how it went. Everything between going into the room and coming out had become a total blur.

Warm hands settled themselves on the hem of his pajama shirt - Cooper's favorite spot on his waist, always slowly dragging them up to see how far he could go before Kurt would pull back. They've been dating for four months now and Kurt still wasn't fully comprehending the thought that someone might find him attractive, or was he being silly?

"How did it go?"

It was a whisper, nothing more - a carefully asked question Kurt had been expecting, as it was one of the questions he had been asking Cooper as well. An unanswered question that is, so he just shrugged.

"Come on." Cooper said a bit louder.

"It's all a big blur."

"Or you just don't want to tell me."

Kurt snapped up to face, giving his boyfriend one hell of an angry look.

 "Well that sounds oddly familiar." he said with a low voice and Cooper's blue eyes widened to comical proportions. His jaw fell down only a bit, eyes searching every inch of Kurt's face - or maybe searching in his head for a good response.

"You really want to go there?" Cooper finally said, quite harsh. "I'm just curious -"

It was Kurt's time to let his mouth fall open and he pushed himself up, accidently straddling on Cooper's waist. "And I'm not?" His hand went up to his shower-damp hair, angrily fisting it and only pulling a little.

"This is different -"

"Why? Because I don't see how keeping things from your boyfriend is right, or normal."

"Mine - my audition, uhm -" Cooper swallowed. "Kurt," his voice turned softer, sweeter and he pushed himself up as well, wrapping his arms snugly around him and Kurt couldn't turn away. "There's a lot at stake at my audition."

Kurt looked back up to hold back tears.

"Shh, sweetheart, baby - please," Cooper pleaded, hands going up from his waist to force the hand in Kurt's hair to let go, "I'm scared, alright? And that's a big thing for me to admit, I simply don't know what to do and everyone handles this differently."

"I'm scared too." Kurt squeaked in a broken voice. Cooper was holding back things - he was holding back himself. Why wasn't he a blurter like his brother - just spill it all, because Kurt wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to take it.

"Don't be scared," Cooper soothed him, "everything is going to be alright. We can do whatever happens, we'll try everything to get through." And try they would - but Kurt was doubting if the effort would be worth it.

A big sniff coming from himself awoke him from his dark thoughts. Of course he wanted to make it work; Cooper was a part of his life - it was all just... complicated.

Cooper was still rocking him in his arms, letting Kurt pour out whatever needed to be poured.

"It'll be okay." Cooper repeated like a mantra and after Kurt felt like there were no more tears left in his body, he allowed Cooper to pull him back onto the bed. They stayed like that for maybe ten minutes before Cooper switched the topic.

"Uhm, so my mother called me and turns out Blaine has been sneakily auditioning for Juilliard."

Kurt frowned. It wasn't a secret to him.

"And he's coming to New York next week, except I have a meeting with some friends set up for the Friday and my mom, and my dad to be honest, are overprotective and all, so he's not allowed to be alone, much -"

Kurt shushed him, too much rambling for his liking. "Get to the point before I fall asleep before you reach it."

"You and Blaine are like friends, right? So would you mind -"

"No, not at all." he cut off immediately, carefully not mentioning the fact he and Blaine were already making plans.

"Okay." Cooper said in a soft voice. "Good."

Kurt nuzzled his face deep into the fabric of Cooper's shirt. Secretly hating himself for wishing Blaine would come this weekend already.

Blaine got lost in a thought halfway tying his bow tie. He was currently in Cooper's bathroom - not an hour and a half out of the plane and the instant tiredness of travelling had kicked in. And the tiredness was fighting the adrenaline of nerves.

Slow and steady he continued to tie the dark brown bow tie. Kurt had told him to dress professionally, but very Blaine-esk. If he would get into Juilliard, he wouldn't wear the same things he did as to the interview - and the impression could be faked. They needed to love Blaine, not some nicely dressed guy.

He took a long and deep breath, staring himself straight in the eye in the bathroom mirror. The fact he was currently in New York was barely registering, not a week ago he was telling Burt that he couldn't work this week - which resolved in a conversation he had been hoping to have with his dad. Your child going to college should be the most exciting thing for a parent, and true - his father was thrilled for Blaine to go into the business and economics branch, but it wasn't what Blaine wanted to do.

Burt, however, had almost thrown him a congratulations party.

Last Saturday when he entered the shop, Burt was hidden away underneath a SUV, checking whatever needed to be checked.

It was there and then that Blaine actually got nervous of asking permission to take a weekend off; he had some kind of phobia of asking such things - during class he barely dared to ask if he was allowed to got the bathroom or not.

"Burt?" he said at first too soft and he repeated it louder.

"Yeah?" Burt appeared, rolling from underneath the vehicle and stared at his employer. "Hey, kid. What's going on?"

"Uhm," Blaine hadn't really rehearsed what he was going to say, "I need to ask something, and hopefully it's alright because I know it's kind of short notice - "

"Spit it out." Burt said with a big smirk on his face, cleaning his hands with a rugged towel.

"I have a college interview next week, or audition, sort of."

"Really?" The smirk grew bigger. "What school?" He turned around to get some tools and Blaine felt his heart swell of actually telling someone his future plans.

"Juilliard." he squeaked and jumped up at hearing Burt dropping the equipment he was holding, turning back with his face in awe.

"Juilliard?" he repeated and Blaine nodded vividly. "And you already got in?"

"No," Blaine quickly corrected, "I got an interview, they want to talk to me and such - oh my God I need to talk to them and be interesting, holy shi-"

"Easy," Burt let the utensils for what they were and stepped toward him. All of a sudden a big hand was on his shoulder, petting him comforting and Blaine stared up confused. "When Kurt had his many auditions, also back up things, he kind of freaked out and talked higher than he does when he's excited, which is - quite high."

Blaine bit his lip to hide a smile.

"But, he always had something to calm him down. Whether it cleaning out his closet or organizing the tool shed, and after that he was alright. Talking about tool sheds - you look like you need to calm down." Burt winked and made Blaine scoot to get to work, saying it was alright to miss a Saturday of work.

The entire day Blaine was smiling, happy to have shared the joy of actually getting an interview at Juilliard and at the end Burt had wished him the best of luck, and to tell Kurt to call once in a while if Blaine would meet up with him and Cooper.

Strangely enough Burt hadn't said a thing about the New Year's Day revelation or Cooper being his brother, or maybe it didn't really matter to him because nothing felt changed to him.

But today everything was going to change.

Blaine took another deep breath, through his nose this time.

"We have one shot." he told his reflection, not caring how silly it seemed. "This is it. If this goes wrong - we'll be stuck in Ohio. No New York. No Juilliard and no - K-Kurt." He swallowed away the name. "No fresh start."

His reflection stared back determined.

"We can totally do this."

Outside a car honked three times, telling Blaine his taxi had arrived. He explicitly told Kurt to come after his interview and meet him at the Juilliard building. Kurt had protested, telling him he would get lost or worse and opted to steal Cooper's car to take him wherever he needed to go, but Blaine declined.

No distractions. This was something he needed to do all by himself. He took his briefcase with forms and his winter coat and went downstairs before the taxi would honk again. With a small skip he ran to the yellow cab, stepping in and unbuttoning his blazer before clumsily putting on his coat in the small space of the car.

The taxi driver said the address he got via the company and Blaine confirmed.

"The Juilliard building."

---

Blaine's mouth hadn't shut for one second ever since he arrived at the university. He was being guided over campus to the area where interviews were being held, and even though the quad was partially covered with an icy snow; it was amazing.

Music was heard in the cold wind, from every direction it blew. People were walking quickly to get to their classrooms with instruments strapped to their backs. A few students were discussing musical history and Blaine got the urge to join them.

He always knew Juilliard was the place for him, but seeing it in person for the first time was a whole different kind of cookie - it was even better. It wasn't a cookie, it was an entire cake.

Everything was perfect; the bricks, the quad, the hallway he was walking now, the smell - the noises. Juilliard was where belonged. It was his home.

"You can wait here." the friendly woman that brought him here said, pointing at a few chairs where he could sit. "You'll be called out soon, good luck."

"T-thank you." he said, but his voice was nothing more than air. The woman gave him an encouraging smile before walking away.

Carefully he placed his briefcase on one of the chair and sat down next to it. I want to go here, he thought, I need to go here.

He had no idea how long he had been sitting in the hallway before someone was walking toward him. The wing he was one of the quieter ones, compared to the ones he passed to get here. A middle-aged lady coming to him was clenching a clipboard which she was looking down to, searching - probably for his name. He already got up before she spoke.

"Blaine Anderson?" She looked up without a smile.

Blaine nodded quickly, giving her his most charming smile - with result as her lips quirked a bit to hold back a returning smile.

"If you would follow me, please." She already turned around and Blaine hurried to gather his things, jogging behind the woman so he could keep up.

Once she turned to face him, now indeed smiling to him. "Nervous?"

Blaine wasn't sure how to respond and what the right reply was so he just shrugged. "Healthy nerves, I think."

She nodded understanding.

"We all have those. I am Doctor Hera, head of musical composing department." said Dr. Hera coolly, as if it was nothing, but Blaine felt the healthy nerves rise to an unmanageable level. "My fellow colleague, professor Coulson, is the teacher you'll be working with the most. He also organizes the Central Park concerts every summer, heard of those?"

"Yes, ma'am." Blaine answered, unsure if the interview had already started or not.

"Good, your letters already told me you're quite the clever one." They did? Oh God, they're going to think I'm an idiot that lied on his application. "There we are." They stopped in front of a door and Blaine knew very well that his meant - this was the start of his one shot. One chance. And after seeing the school, hearing Dr. Hera talk - he knew he had to give his all.

He gestured ladies first, getting a questioning eyebrow from Dr. Hera, but she accepted anyway and Blaine followed.

"Ah, Mr. Anderson." the man inside the - conference room? Meeting room? Torture-the-applicants room? - said. He was of age, but looked wise and friendly, smiling happy as they shook hands. Good firm handshake, no one likes a sloppy handshake.  "Have a seat. I'm professor Coulson."

He sat down on the other side of the table of professor Coulson and Dr. Hera.

For a moment there was nothing more than shuffling of papers and Blaine watched the teachers sort out his applicants until one pile of carefully organized paper caught his eye. He knew that pile, he remembered the feeling very well when he put it on the mail - it was his music. His very own audition piece and Blaine swallowed loudly, getting a look from Dr. Hera.

"So, Blaine." Professor Coulson said.

"Yes, sir."

"Tell us something about yourself, after that we can talk music." He smiled kindly. It was like his interview was good cop, bad cop because Dr. Hera had turned into stone.

"Well, uh, I'm from Westerville, Ohio." he started and talked about his everyday life, glee club and couldn't help but to start talking about music already. "Music is kind of my life, which is probably a line you get a lot."

"We do." Dr. Hera interrupted.

"But that doesn't mean it's not true." Professor Coulson added. "Let's say we wouldn't allow any one into the program who doesn't consider music his or her life." He glanced at Dr. Hera and she nodded. "Why don't we start talking about your piece, Blaine."

"Yes." Blaine breathed.

"Now," Professor Coulson started, flipping a page of the bookwork of musical paper, "Blaine, we must say - we were pretty surprised about your completed piece after your application part."

"Your partial part seemed,  - hopeful and sensual." Dr. Hera said and Blaine couldn't stop his eyebrows from rising. "But we hadn't expect it to be a closing part, compared to the rest - which is rather raw."

Was raw bad? With the start he had been hopeful about Kurt, friendship - with only a tad envy of Cooper being allowed to touch him and not him. The entire piece however was one pile of rough emotions.

"We were pleasantly surprised. Now, the title. It completely matches the piece," professor Coulson flipped to the first page where the title was printed in big bold letters, "Invidia, a-k-a jealousy in plain English."

"Yes." Blaine confirmed.

"Is this a start of a series of seven pieces?" he asked amused. "All seven sins?"

Blaine couldn't help bit give a huffing laugh. "I hope not."

The two adults stopped to stare at him. "Why not?" Dr. Hera insisted on knowing.

"Well, uhm," Blaine's lips tried to form words, but they seemed stuck in his throat, "if I did, it would mean -" He forced himself to look both teachers equally in the eye. "It would mean I would have to undergo all sins and I prefer to save myself from that."

"I see." Professor Coulson said before Dr. Hera could speak, sounding intrigued. "So I may presume you have undergone jealousy?"

Blaine nodded. One shot, one chance.

"That must have been an intense experience." Dr. Hera suddenly seemed way more interested in Blaine than she did five minutes ago. "To take such a - quite frowned upon - emotion and turn it into such an amazing musical piece."

What? Did she just say - "Amazing?" he accidently said out loud, openly gawking at the woman.

Together Dr. Hera and Professor Coulson smiled, sharing a look before turning back to Blaine.

"Mr. Anderson." Professor Coulson started. "We do not casually invite applicants to these interviews."

"No, I understand," Blaine said, but honestly: he didn't.

"We want to - offer you a chance." Dr. Hera said. "As you probably know, considering you are well read with the way Juilliard works for its future musical... wonders, if you like, we offer a few applicants to earn a scholarship."

"W-wait." Blaine interrupted, confused to the roots of his hair. "What do you mean? Aren't I not supposed to be accepted first?" His heartbeat fastened to a terrifying pace.

The smiles on the two teachers grew wider, again looking at each other - as if they were trying to give each other the honor of telling something. Eventually Dr. Hera got the acclaimed task.

"Mr. Anderson." she said seriously. "You have been accepted into Juilliard since you stepped on campus this morning."

"You have been accepted since I got this piece on my desk." Professor Coulson tapped on the bookwork. "Applicants like you, one of a kind - deserve more than just an accepting letter."

"Your letters were enthusiastic and memorable, and now you have confessed you take your own vulnerable moments - like something as serious as jealousy, and take that emotion and turn it into beautiful music. Mr. Anderson, Blaine, there is no doubt you belong on Juilliard School of Music next year."

Blaine stared open mouthed at his future teachers. He had gotten into Juilliard. He - "Oh my," he could only say.

"That's a big thing to sink down, isn't it?" Professor Coulson smirked.

"It is." Blaine finally - finally - smiled sincerely. He covered his mouth with his hand before he would burst out in curses of joy.

"Well, get ready for even a bigger thing to swallow." Dr. Hera held out a map and Blaine took it. "We offer five applicants a chance to receive a scholarship. In April there are the first-year concerts, where we let them play the applicants' pieces. We would love to convert Invidia into an orchestra piece. In the week before you will be trained to conduct the piece - I remember reading you have been working with the conductor of your High School."

Blaine nodded quickly.

"Good, keep that up and you will be here in the orchestra hall on," she looked down on a paper, "April 10th, conducting your chance on that scholarship. May I presume you will take this opportunity?"

"Yes. Oh my, yes." Blaine was sweating, his heart was bruising his ribs - but his mind was partying hard.

"Excellent." Professor Coulson said. "Let's continue."

Kurt was warming himself up by pacing the entrance hall of Juilliard. Blaine was going to meet him here after his interview so Kurt could help him relax and probably drink a lot of coffee - or at least Kurt was planning on drinking a lot of warm liquid. Perhaps some hot chocolate?

He stared down on his watch - Blaine's interview started forty five minutes ago and he still wasn't in sight. Long conversations were good right? Or did it mean he had to battle for his spot?

"Come on." Kurt muttered. "Hurry up." He wasn't sure if he wanted to get out of here or if he wanted to see Blaine. Probably the latter, he'd missed him over the past few weeks.

The receptionist was eyeing him sympathetically, but Kurt ignored her. He just wanted Blaine to come with a huge smile on his face, confident and knowing he nailed his interview.

He heard shuffles coming from a corridor on the left and suddenly Blaine appeared around the corner, but there was no smile on his face, or confidence.

"Blaine!" Kurt called and he ran up to his friend. "How -" Blaine was staring at him oddly, mouth open in shock and not completely grasping. He looked away again. "- did it go?"

"Kurt." he just said.

"Yes?" Kurt was starting to feel extremely worried now, in his mind already going through educations in New York that Blaine would fit in perfectly. "Blaine, say something." He reached out to cup his jaw, forcing him to look him in the eye.

The hazel eyes were watery and Kurt was officially panicking.

"I -" Blaine tried, but the words got caught somewhere between his throat and mouth.

"Easy." Kurt said and put his other hand on his shoulder like his dad always did.

"I - I," Blaine breathed in deeply before staring back into Kurt's eyes - his lips quivered into a smile, as if he was in between laughing and crying. "I got in."

Kurt's eyes widened and his mouth fell open so quickly his jaw cracked. "You -"

"I got into Juilliard." Blaine was crying and smiling at the same time. Tears met Kurt's hand, but he didn't care.

"Oh my God, Blaine!" Kurt wanted to cry as well, throwing his arms completely around him and crushed him into a major hug. Blaine's arms locked around his waist too, pulling him hard against his body and for a moment they rocked and cried together. "You got into Juilliard."

"I did." Blaine choked.

"You're coming to New York next year." Kurt pulled back and took Blaine's face in both hands. He looked up, eyes red rimmed and the brightest smile on his face. There was something else too, but Kurt couldn't define it. He realized he was unconsciously swiping Blaine's tears away - and when did they got this close? Oh, right - the hug.

"Okay." Kurt said quietly, stepping back. "Uhm, what do you want to do?"

Blaine looked at him confused. "I thought you had a whole plan?"

"Screw the plan!" Kurt flailed his arms in the air. "We need to celebrate, oh my God, what -"

"Actually," Blaine said, "There's something I would like to do, I mean - it's technically still morning, so."

"Anything."

"Okay." Blaine smiled so wide it had to hurt his face, but neither cared. Today was going to be amazing.

---

"Thank you for not thinking this is stupid." Blaine said while chewing a big bite of bagel.

Kurt snorted. "Trust me, this is perfect." He took a sip of coffee. "Although I think Brunch at Tiffany's would be less popular than the breakfast-version."

Enjoying the moment they both looked around the street while eating their well-deserved brunch in front of the jewelry store.

"I did this too, the first time I was here."

"You did?" Blaine turned so he was leaning to the wall on his side, facing Kurt, whom nodded.

"Yep, I haven't been here since actually. Funny actually."

Blaine was on top of the world. He felt like he could handle anything. Still staring at Kurt he chewed away the piece of bagel, subtly scooting closer to the boy that was his inspiration for his musical piece - the piece that had gotten him into Juilliard, the piece that might give him a scholarship.

"Kurt," he said with a strong voice. Kurt turned around to face him, smiling and giving him a questioning look. "There is a moment -"

"Kurt?" a shrill female voice said out of nowhere and both of the boys turned around to see where it came from. A short girl with sleek brown hair and quite a big nose was staring at Kurt in shock - but also happiness.

Kurt stopped leaning against the wall of Tiffany's, straightening his entire body. Almost in a defensive way.

"Rachel." he breathed.

"Kurt!" the girl - Rachel -  said again, a huge smile now on her face. "Oh my God, I can't believe it - Kurt!"

Blaine pushed himself off the wall, bagel useless in his hands and joined Kurt's side. He had no idea what was going on, but he realized that this must be Rachel Berry - the former lead singer from New Directions - and that Kurt obviously wasn't happy to see her.

He dared to glance from the girl to Kurt, whose face was hard as stone and his eyes widened in shock.

"Who's this?" Rachel asked suddenly, eyeing Blaine with a interested look.

Kurt seemed to snap out of his freeze, realizing Blaine was still here and he turned to him as well - eyes panicked.

"This is Blaine." he managed to say, voice trembling.

The gentleman he was, Blaine reached out to shake the girl's hand and the girl had problems with deciding whom to look at.

"Blaine's my boyfriend's brother." Kurt added and Blaine looked down at the ground. Lovely introduction.

"Boyfriend?" Rachel questioned with an even wider smile. "The guy I saw - in, in September?"

"Yes." Kurt said almost inaudible. "Blaine's one of my best friends."

He looked up again at that, a quirk of his lips forming a smile.

"O-oh." Rachel said, smile faltering a bit. "How nice-"

"He's in the New Directions." Kurt said before Rachel could talk. "He's amazing, better than we ever were."

"Kurt," Blaine felt the blush warm his cheeks at hearing the praise.

Rachel tried to say something, but Kurt continued again: "He got into Juilliard today. We're celebrating."

"Really?"

"He did it all by himself."

Rachel's smile vanished. Instead the lips started to tremble, as if she was on the edge of tearing up and started to avoid any eye contact with Kurt.

"He didn't take any advice from anyone. Didn't let himself being talked down into doing something that may have ruined his entire future -"

"Kurt." Rachel tried.

"He didn't go up on a stage, making a total idiot out of himself while the one that suggested doing such thing - for her own gain-" Kurt was fuming now. Blaine watched him clench the half-full coffee cup in his fist and reasons to leave were popping up in his head. "- was watching in the audience. And he didn't have to go through the hell that was caused by it. Because he did it all by himself. Like I should've." The latter came out softer, like he didn't want to share that.

"I'm so-"

"I don't want to hear it." Kurt shook his head, turning around to face Blaine. "We should go to our next stop."

Blaine just went with it, nodding quickly - but the questions he had about what the hell just happened needed to be answered.

"Kurt, please -" Rachel stepped forward, trying to take Kurt's arm but Blaine jumped in between. Kurt was not enthralled running into this girl and Blaine didn't want him to be any more hurt than he already was.

"Come, Blaine." A warm hand slipped into his and at first Blaine was completely shocked at the connection. Kurt was less affected by it, busy dragging him away from the jewelry store while Rachel was still screaming for Kurt's attention. He didn't even turn around to her anymore, fastening his pace to get as far away as possible - or so it felt to Blaine, being drawn away.

"I can't believe-" Kurt was muttering to himself, "on such a perfect day. Stupid Rachel. Fuck."

They were slowing down, stopping all of a sudden and while Kurt was turning around, Blaine bumped into him - hissing at feeling warm, not hot, liquid being spilled around his collar and bow tie.

"Fuck! Shit!" Kurt cussed again, on the verge of crying and threw away the coffee cup that had drenched Blaine. "I am so, sorry."

Blaine tried to tell Kurt it was alright, but the drink was dripping down, wetting his dress-shirt underneath his winter coat.

"Is it bad? I - it just, oh my - shit." Kurt covered his eyes with his hands. Blaine completely forgot about the stain when he saw Kurt shake all over.

"Kurt?" he said softly, reaching out to remove the hands.

"So, so sorry." Kurt repeated.

"Enough of that, come on - we'll just go to Cooper's apartment so I can change and then we can sit down for a little while, how does that sound?"

"But -" Kurt stared at him desperately. "Today's your day, we need to celebrate."

"I count watching a crappy movie or whatever is on TV as celebrating." Blaine assured, meaning it.

"But, New York -"

"- will still be here tomorrow. Kurt, you're shaking, shit- you're crying even - please, you - we need to relax for a moment, okay?"

Kurt nodded slowly, allowing Blaine to take his hand so they could go back to Cooper's house. The entire trip he kept his eyes on the street, afraid that if he would look up he would face another ghost from his past.

---

"Why -" Blaine started while shaking off his winter coat, wincing at the sticky dress-shirt that appeared underneath, "don't you make some tea?" he proposed. "I need to change this."

"So sorry -"

"It's okay."

They stood still for a moment, making sure both were alright before Blaine walked off to Cooper's bedroom.

Kurt threw his arms around himself, stroking up his arms to make the shaking stop. Tea, he thought, tea is good. And he turned to the kitchen area. While the water was boiling he searched for any kind of cookie or cake, or anything else sweet.

"Cooper's lack of food is alarming!" he yelled, trying to lighten the mood, finally finding a bag of sweet crackers, but as he turned around, he saw a very blushing, a veryshirtless Blaine, and Kurt couldn't look away. Blaine's upper body was firm and looked extremely warm, dark hairs dusted across the chest, all the way down to - Kurt shook his head, crunching the bag between his hands. He hadn't even noticed Blaine rambling.

"I forgot my bag, clean clothes, so sorry - I tried to be quick, I'll just, sorry -" He ran down the couch and grabbed the weekend-bag from it, turning around to run back to the bedroom, and oh - Blaine's back might even be more attractive.

HUMMEL, a voice shouted in his head and Kurt finally turned back even though it was too late. "The hell is wrong with me?" he scoffed to himself. Blaine is your best friend, you can't just - and oh right, you already have a very handsome and attractive boyfriend.

He jumped at the beeping noise the boiler made, notifying the water was ready and he tried to compose himself by pouring it into two mugs.

"Sorry about that." Blaine was back into the living area, face redder than ever.

"S'fine." Kurt squeaked. He took a moment to look at Blaine, now wearing a blue Dalton hoodie - and it was not helping that Kurt now knew what was underneath it. Blaine caught him eying his sweater and asked if he wanted one too.

"I have another one, they're comfy."

Before Kurt could think it through, he nodded numbly - extremely attracted to the idea of slumping down in comfortable clothing. Blaine went back to get it and not a minute later Kurt slipped the red hoodie over his shirt. He sniffed it, letting the smell of it sink in.

"Tea." he said absentmindedly. The couch cracked at Blaine sitting down on it and Kurt walked with both mugs to him, accepting Blaine's pad on the couch next to him.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked quietly and Kurt nodded automatically. "Kurt." He turned around and stared into the hazel eyes that were silently demanding the truth. A sigh escaped his mouth.

"N-no." he rectified.

"Do you -" Blaine bended forward, scooting a bit closer, "do you want to talk about it?"

"Not sure."

"I'm here, you know." he whispered. "And not that I mind you flaunting me for getting into Juilliard," his voice sounded amused, "but, can I ask for the reason why?"

"It slipped, sorry."

"No need to apologize, but - Kurt?" Their sides were touching now and Blaine's shoulder was extremely tempting to lean on. Kurt looked up again, knowing his face was starting to red up because of the emotions overflowing him. "No pressure, I'm only asking -"

"Okay." he said with a cracked voice. He felt an arm sneak behind him, ready to hold him whenever he needed to be held and Kurt knew that moment would come quite fast. "That was Rachel,"

Blaine's face turned into a ‘you don't say' expression, but he remained quiet, allowing Kurt to talk.

"Rachel went to McKinley, as you probably already figured out by now. Ugh, this is stupid -" he rested his elbows on his knee and hid his face in his hands.

"It's not, go on." Blaine encouraged with a tiny smile and Kurt looked up again, swallowing loudly before continuing:

"Rachel and I, well, we had plans, future plans. College plans. Have you heard of - NYADA?"

Blaine frowned for a moment, but eventually nodded. "Tina mentioned it."

"NYADA was our plan." Kurt  continued. "Going to New York together, studying together at that - amazing school. We discussed it all in our junior year, going here together - we even," he huffed, "we even agreed on it while having breakfast at Tiffany's.

"We both became finalists, I even got the letter before her and she already broke down at that. Rachel is, let me try to explain this, uhm, Rachel is very competitive.

"She loves to win and take things to the extreme. With Glee she was always the first to spy on competition, I even think she was planning on sneaking into Dalton -"

He gave Blaine a little smile, but the other boy simply nodded.

"But, anyway, Rachel started to dig into NYADA regulations, how the call backs were set up and of course, who would get in or not. She never really told me this, but she did to Finn - her now ex-boyfriend, and Finn told me that she found out only one or less per selected region would get in. There were a few auditioning from Carmel High as well, and as Rachel couldn't obviously -" Kurt dropped back his head into his neck to swallow the word he was about to say and the arm that was lingering behind him finally was around him completely, "s-sabotage them."

"Shit, Kurt." Blaine said, pulling him closer. "She -"

"So she decided to sabotage me." Kurt said with lips trembling. "One less person to worry about and I was so insecure, so terribly insecure - I took everything she advised me by heart. It sounds so stupid now, so silly -"

"No, no," Blaine rubbed his back comforting, "it's understandable."

Kurt swallowed and continued: "And when the audition came, I made a complete fool out of myself. Taking a safe escape, and I - choked."

"It happens to the best of us."

"It was awful. Complete humiliation, and she got in." He rested his head on Blaine's shoulder. "And I didn't. I had to go with my second choice."

"But - maybe Tisch is better,"

"No, no - you don't understand," Kurt sat up straight again, "or maybe you do."

Blaine looked at him with a confused expression. "Tell me, please?"

"NYADA was my Juilliard." he whispered and watched Blaine looking at him confused. "When you stepped on campus this morning, how did it feel?"

Blaine's eyebrows raised, surprised at the question, but managed an answer: "I felt like - uhm," he swallowed and then looked at Kurt determined. "It felt like I belonged there. Like it's my home."

Kurt smiled at the answer, albeit a bit teary. "I had that too, but only with NYADA. I felt like I needed to go there, that that was going to be the place that would make me happy. And it was all taken away from me because Rachel was afraid I would take her spot."

"Kurt." Blaine forced Kurt to look at him. "You may have felt that, and I can't decide it for you, but you can't miss what you never had fully. I don't know what's going to happen, but maybe I go to Juilliard next year and it's crap -"

"Liar." Kurt shoulder bumped him.

"It could happen, but you can't dwell on this. I for one think Tisch is way better." Blaine said. "And imagine not going there, all the people you wouldn't have met. All the things you've learned."

Kurt turned away again, letting the things Blaine just mentioned soak up his mind.

"I wouldn't have met a lot of people." he said softly. "Oh my God," he covered his mouth at the revelation, "Nancy, Cooper - you -"

"Oh wow, can you imagine that?" Blaine waggled his eyebrows with a teasing smile, but Kurt couldn't return one because the truth was lying on his tongue.

"I can't."

The teasing smile fell down slowly, resulting in slightly parted lips before Blaine broke all his restraints on affection and surged forward to hug Kurt.

"Me neither. I can't either." he breathed into his ear and Kurt felt his walls melt, hugging Blaine back.

"Thank you."

"I'm here." Blaine started to rub his back again. "Always."

The door of the apartment screeched open and Cooper stepped him, face opening up in surprise at the display.

Blaine backed off immediately and Kurt dabbed away the tear stains on his cheek.

"Hey." Cooper said awkwardly. "What's going on?"

"N-nothing," Kurt said before Blaine could, "I ran into someone today and well, -"

"I was comforting him." Blaine spoke.

Cooper dropped his bag, walking toward his boyfriend to kneel next to him. "You okay?" he asked, sincerely wanting to know. Kurt nodded quickly.

"Blaine helped - Oh my God!" he suddenly exclaimed. "Blaine!" He turned to him and back to Cooper. "Blaine got into Juilliard!"

"What?" Cooper's eyes widened and looked at his baby brother.  "You did?"

Blaine was suddenly embarrassed and started to blush. "Yes."

"What?" Cooper repeated. "What are we doing here then, we need to celebrate!"

Kurt looked away in guilt. He felt like he ruined Blaine's entire day.

"We can go out to dinner, yes - I'll make reservations, Blainey - you still have mom's creditcard?"

"Uhm, yes - I'll just go -" Blaine jumped up to get his wallet and Kurt stood up as well, Cooper eyeing him curiously.

"What?" Kurt asked and Cooper shrugged.

"Nice sweater."

Kurt looked down at the Dalton hoodie, completely forgotten he had borrowed it from Blaine. He scrunched his face, not sure what to say and Cooper had already walked away.

"Blainey? How does Thai sound?"